[A Fund has been raised to supply the School Board with
Union-Jacks, with a view to increasing the loyalty of the
pupils.--_Daily Paper._]
SCENE--_A Room of the School Board, decorated with flags and trophies
of arms._ Teacher _discovered instructing his pupils in English
History._
_Teacher._ And now we come to the Battle of Trafalgar, which was won
by NELSON in the early part of the present century. As it is my object
to increase your patriotism, I may tell you that "BRITANNIA rules the
waves, and Britons never, never, never will be slaves!" Repeat that in
chorus.
_Pupils._ "Rule, BRITANNIA, BRITANNIA rules the waves; Britons never,
never, never will be slaves!"
_Teacher._ Thank you very much; and to show how the _esprit de corps_
in Her Majesty's Ships-of-War is preserved, I will now dance the
Sailor's Hornpipe.
[_Does so._
_First Pupil._ Please, Sir, do Englishmen always win?
_Teacher._ Invariably. If they retire, they do not retreat. Can you
tell me what a retirement of troops in the face of the enemy is
called?
_Second Pupil._ Bolting, Sir.
_Teacher._ Nothing of the sort. Go to the bottom of the class, Sirrah!
Bolting, indeed! Next boy!
_Third Pupil._ It is called "a strategic movement to the rear," Sir.
_Teacher._ Quite right; and now we come to the Battle of Waterloo,
which you will remember was won on the 18th of June, 1815. But perhaps
this may be a convenient time for the introduction of the Union-Jack
War Dance, which, as you all know, has been recently ordered to be
part of our studies by the Committee of the School Board. Now then,
please, take your places.
[The Pupils _seize the flags hanging to the walls, and dance
merrily. At the conclusion of the exercise they replace the
flags, and resume their customary places._
_First Pupil._ If you please, can you tell us anything about the
Union-Jack?
_Teacher._ As I have explained on many occasions, when you have been
good and obliging enough to put the same question to me, I am
delighted to have the opportunity. You must know that the Union-Jack
represents the greatest nation in the world. This nation is our own
beloved country, and it is gratifying to know that there are no people
so blessed as our own. The Union-Jack flies in every quarter of the
globe, and where it is seen, slavery becomes impossible, and tyranny a
thing of the past. To be an Englishman is to be the noblest creature
on the earth. One Englishman is worth twenty specimens of other
nationalities; he is more conscientious, more clever, more beautiful
than any other living man, and it is a good thing for the world that
he exists. _(Looking at watch._) And now, as we have rather exceeded
our usual time for study, we will depart after the customary ceremony.
[_The_ Pupils _then sing the National Anthem, and the School
dismisses itself with three cheers for_ HER MAJESTY.
_Curtain._
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[Illustration: "ON NE 'PATINE' PAS AVEC L'AMOUR."
(_With Apologies to the Shade of Alfred de Musset._)]
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