'Since I came to the crucifixion of myself, I have not cared much what
men might say of me.'--MRS. BOOTH.
At the time when our Army Mother married The General's work was, as we
have seen, that of an 'Evangelist' or 'Travelling Minister.' He would
stay in a town for some weeks or months, as the case might be, preaching
and holding Meetings, and getting people saved, both in the town itself
and the places round.
It was a blessed and useful life, but very wearying; and we can fancy how
trying it must have been for Mrs. Booth after her marriage not to have
any home of her own, but to billet first in one stranger's house, and
then in another's.
But she did not complain, though we see what it cost her by a letter she
writes to her mother, telling the good news that they are to live in
lodgings while at Sheffield:--
'You cannot think,' she writes, 'with what joy I look forward to being to
ourselves once more. For though I get literally oppressed with kindness,
I must say I would prefer a home where we could sit down together at our
own little table, myself the mistress, and my husband the only guest. But
the work of God so abundantly prospers that I dare not repine, or else I
feel this constant packing and unpacking and staying amongst strangers to
be a great burden, especially while so weak and poorly. But then I have
many mercies and advantages. My precious William is all I desire, and
without this what would the most splendid home be but a glittering
bauble?'
For several years Mrs. Booth travelled in this way from place to place,
helping, cheering, and encouraging her husband in his soul-saving
campaigns. She felt her duty lay here, and even when she had a little son
to care for, she was unwilling to settle down. Writing to her mother, who
urged her to leave off this trying life; or, at any rate, to hand the
baby over to her, she says:--
'My objection to leaving William gets stronger as I see the need he has
of my presence, care, and sympathy; neither is he willing for it himself.
Nor can I make up my mind to parting with Willie.'
Mrs. Booth's object was to be a help to her husband--not a hindrance; to
push him forward in his soul-saving work--not to hold him back; and
therefore, instead of rejoicing, as most wives and mothers would have
done, when a settled home and work were offered him, she was doubtful.
'Personally considered,' she writes to her mother, 'I care nothing about
it. I feel that a good rest in one place will be a boon to us. Anyhow, if
God wills him to be an Evangelist, He will open the way. I find that I
love the work itself far more than I thought I did, and I am willing to
risk something for it.'
After this came several years of great conflict and struggle. The
Conference (or, as we would say, Headquarters) under whom The General
worked did not wish him to continue the great Salvation Campaigns for
which God had so marvellously fitted him. They wanted him to 'settle
down,' and spend perhaps several years in one place like ordinary
ministers.
To please those who were over him he did this, and spent four years in
one town. But though God blessed his efforts, The General was convinced
that he was called to greater things. He loved the sinners; wherever he
went crowds flocked to hear him, and the vilest were converted. Was it
God's will, therefore, that he should sacrifice the work his soul loved,
and 'settle down' into an ordinary life, helping and reaching only the
people of one small city?
This question our Army Mother helped him to decide. Try to picture her
position. She had by this time a family of little children, and her
health was very delicate. By counselling The General to 'settle down,' as
his friends wished him to do, she would have a nice home, a comfortable
income, and, above all, the constant presence of her husband, who would
no longer need to leave her on his long soul-saving tours.
By refusing the position offered, and choosing instead to take up the
'evangelistic life' again, The General turned his back on salary, home,
and work, and went out into the world, with his wife and four children,
friendless and alone. Do you wonder that the struggle was a severe one?
'Pray for me,' she wrote to her mother, when the question was about to be
settled. 'I have many a conflict in regard to the proposed new departure;
not as to our support--I feel as though I can trust the Lord implicitly
for all that; but the Devil tells me I shall never be able to endure the
loneliness and separation of the life. He draws many a picture of most
dark and melancholy shade. But I cling to the promise, "No man hath
forsaken," etc., and, having sworn to my own hurt, may I stand fast. I
have told William that if he takes the step, and it should bring me to
the workhouse, I would never say one upbraiding word. No. To blame him
for making such a sacrifice for God and conscience' sake would be worse
than wicked. So, whatever be the result, I shall make up my mind to
endure it patiently, looking to the Lord for grace and strength.'
But if it was difficult for Mrs. Booth, the path was equally dark and
hard for The General.
'William hesitates,' she writes a few weeks later. 'He thinks of me and
the children, and I appreciate his love and care. But I tell him that God
will provide, if he will only go straight on in the path of duty. It is
strange that I, who always used to shrink from the sacrifice, should be
the first in making it. But when I made the surrender I did it
whole-heartedly, and ever since I have been like another being. Oh, pray
for us yet more and more! We have no money coming in from any quarter now.
Nor has William any invitations at present. The time is unfavourable. I am
much tempted to feel it hard that God has not cleared our path more
satisfactorily. But I will not "charge God foolishly." I know that His
way is often in the whirlwind, and He rides upon the storm: I will try to
possess my soul in patience, and to wait on Him.'
Sometimes you have heard your Officers talking in a Meeting, and telling
the people that, if they will but step out in faith, and do right, God
will open up the way for them. The example of our General and Army Mother
has taught us this lesson, for few ever took a step of faith into greater
darkness and difficulty than they did at this time.
'My dearest,' writes Mrs. Booth to her mother, 'is starting for London.
Pray for him. He is much harassed. But I have promised to keep a brave
heart. At times it appears to me that God may have something very
glorious in store for us, and when He has tried us He will bring us forth
as gold. It will not be the first time I have taken a leap in the dark,
humanly speaking, for conscience' sake.'
It was, indeed, a 'leap in the dark': to break up their little home in
the North, and, travelling by boat, to save expense, to bring their four
children to Mrs. Mumford's house in London. There they separated: the
father and mother went to Cornwall, to hold a Salvation campaign in a
little chapel that had been lent to them, and the children remained
behind.
Of the marvellous way in which God blessed the Cornish work, I cannot
stop to tell you. Mrs. Booth's name as a preacher was by this time
becoming as widely known as that of her husband; and they went from one
place to another, at first together, and then, afterwards, separately, so
as to be able to do more good, for four long years.
Whenever possible, our Army Mother took her children with her: she never
left them to others when she could help it, and later on I shall tell you
what a devoted and tender mother she was; but the strain of those four
long years no one will ever know. I want you to see the dark as well as
the bright side of her wonderful life; and here is part of a letter to
her mother, written at that time:--
'I feel dreadfully unsettled at present. I don't like this mode of living
at all. William has now been away from home, except on Friday and
Saturday, for twelve weeks. I long to get fixed together again once more.
The going backwards and forwards and being in other people's houses does
not suit William. Nor do I like leaving home for the Sabbaths. I am much
tempted to look gloomily towards the future. But "my heart is fixed." "I
will trust, and not be afraid."'