Else's Story.
Friedrich wishes me to write a chronicle of my life. Friedrich is my
eldest brother. I am sixteen, and he is seventeen, and I have always
been in the habit of doing what he wishes; and therefore, although it
seems to me a very strange idea, I do so now. It is easy for Friedrich
to write a chronicle, or anything else, because he has thoughts. But I
have so few thoughts, I can only write what I see and hear about people
and things. And that is certainly very little to write about, because
everything goes on so much the same always with us. The people around me
are the same I have known since I was a baby, and the things have
changed very little; except that the people are more, because there are
so many little children in our home now, and the things seem to me to
become less, because my father does not grow richer: and there are more
to clothe and feed. However, since Fritz wishes it, I will try;
especially as ink and paper are the two things which are plentiful among
us, because my father is a printer.
Fritz and I have never been separated all our lives until now. Yesterday
he went to the University at Erfurt. It was when I was crying at the
thought of parting with him that he told me his plan about the
chronicle. He is to write one, and I another. He said it would be a help
to him, as our twilight talk has been--when always, ever since I can
remember, we two have crept away in summer into the garden, under the
great pear-tree, and in winter into the deep window of the lumber-room
inside my father's printing-room, where the bales of paper are kept, and
old books are piled up, among which we used to make ourselves a seat.
It may be a help and comfort to Fritz, but I do not see how it ever can
be any to me. He had all the thoughts, and he will have them still. But
I--what shall I have for his voice and his dear face, but cold, blank
paper, and no thoughts at all! Besides, I am so very busy, being the
eldest; and the mother is far from strong, and the father so often wants
me to help him at his types, or to read to him while he sets them.
However, Fritz wishes it, and I shall do it. I wonder what his chronicle
will be like!
But where am I to begin? What is a chronicle? Two of the books in the
Bible are called "Chronicles" in Latin--at least Fritz says that is what
the other long word[1] means--and the first book begins with "Adam," I
know, because I read it one day to my father for his printing. But Fritz
certainly cannot mean me to begin so far back as that. Of course I could
not remember. I think I had better begin with the oldest person I know,
because she is the furthest on the way back to Adam; and that is our
grandmother Von Schoenberg. She is very old--more than sixty--but her
form is so erect, and her dark eyes so piercing, that sometimes she
looks almost younger than her daughter, our precious mother, who is
often bowed down with ill-health and cares.
[Footnote 1: Paralipomenon.]
Our grandmother's father was of a noble Bohemian family, and that is
what links us with the nobles, although my father's family belongs to
the burgher class. Fritz and I like to look at the old seal of our
grandfather Von Schoenberg, with all its quarterings, and to hear the
tales of our knightly and soldier ancestors--of crusader and baron. My
mother, indeed, tells us this is a mean pride, and that my father's
printing-press is a symbol of a truer nobility than any crest of
battle-axe or sword; but our grandmother, I know, thinks it a great
condescension for a Schoenberg to have married into a burgher family.
Fritz feels with my mother, and says the true crusade will be waged by
our father's black types far better than by our great-grandfather's
lances. But the old warfare was so beautiful, with the prancing horses
and the streaming banners! And I cannot help thinking it would have been
pleasanter to sit at the window of some grand old castle like the
Wartburg, which towers above our town, and wave my hand to Fritz, as he
rode, in flashing armour, on his war-horse, down the steep hill side,
instead of climbing up on piles of dusty books at our lumber-room
window, and watching him, in his humble burgher dress, with his wallet
(not too well filled), walk down the street, while no one turned to
look. Ah, well! the parting would have been as dreary, and Fritz himself
could not be nobler. Only I cannot help seeing that people do honour the
bindings and the gilded titles, in spite of all my mother and Fritz can
say; and I should like my precious book to have such a binding, that the
people who could not read the inside, might yet stop to look at the gold
clasps and the jewelled back. To those who can read the inside, perhaps
it would not matter. For of all the old barons and crusaders my
grandmother tells us of, I know well none ever were or looked nobler
than our Fritz. His eyes are not blue, like mine--which are only German
Cotta eyes, but dark and flashing. Mine are very good for seeing,
sewing, and helping about the printing; but his, I think, would
penetrate men's hearts and command them, or survey a battle-field at a
glance.
Last week, however, when I said something of the kind to him, he
laughed, and said there were better battle-fields than those on which
men's bones lay bleaching; and then there came that deep look into his
eyes, when he seems to see into a world beyond my reach.
But I began with our grandmother, and here I am thinking about Friedrich
again. I am afraid that he will be the beginning and end of my
chronicle. Fritz has been nearly all the world to me. I wonder if that
is why he is to leave me. The monks say we must not love any one too
much; and one day, when we went to see Aunt Agnes, my mother's only
sister, who is a nun in the convent of Nimptschen, I remember her saying
to me when I had been admiring the flowers in the convent garden,
"Little Else, will you come and live with us, and be a happy, blessed
sister here?"
I said, "_Whose_ sister, Aunt Agnes? I am Fritz's sister! May Fritz come
too?"
"Fritz could go into the monastry at Eisenach," she said.
"Then I would go with him," I said. "I am Fritz's sister, and I would go
nowhere in the world without him."
She looked on me with a cold, grave pity, and murmured, "Poor little
one, she is like her mother, the heart learns to idolize early. She has
much to unlearn. God's hand is against all idols."
That is many years ago; but I remember as if it were yesterday, how the
fair convent garden seemed to me all at once to grow dull and cheerless
at her words and her grave looks, and I felt it damp and cold like a
church-yard; and the flowers looked like made flowers; and the walls
seemed to rise like the walls of a cave, and I scarcely breathed until I
was outside again, and had hold of Fritz's hand.
For I am not at all religious. I am afraid I do not even wish to be. All
the religious men and women I have ever seen do not seem to me half so
sweet as my poor dear mother; nor as kind, clever, and cheerful as my
father; nor half as noble and good as Fritz. And the Lives of the Saints
puzzle me exceedingly, because it seems to me that if every one were to
follow the example of St. Catherine, and even our own St. Elizabeth of
Hungary, and disobey their parents, and leave their little children, it
would make everything so very wrong and confused. I wonder if any one
else ever felt the same, because these are thoughts I have never even
told to Fritz; for he _is_ religious, and I am afraid it would pain him.
Our grandmother's husband fled from Bohemia on account of religion; but
I am afraid it was not the right kind of religion, because no one seems
to like to speak about it; and what Fritz and I know about him is only
what we have picked up from time to time, and put together for
ourselves.
Nearly a hundred years ago, two priests preached in Bohemia, called John
Huss and Jerome of Prague. They seem to have been dearly beloved, and to
have been thought good men during their life-time; but people must have
been mistaken about them, for they were both burnt alive as heretics at
Constance in two following years--in 1415 and 1416; which of course
proves that they could not have been good men, but exceedingly bad.
However, their friends in Bohemia would not give up believing what they
had learned of these men, although they had seen what end it led to. I
do not think this was strange, because it is so very difficult to make
oneself believe what one ought, as it is, and I do not see that the fear
of being burned even would help one to do it; although, certainly, it
might keep one silent. But these friends of John Huss were many of them
nobles and great men, who were not accustomed to conceal their thoughts,
and they would not be silent about what Huss had taught them. What this
was, Fritz and I never could find out, because my grandmother, who
answers all our other questions, never would tell us a word about this.
We are, therefore, afraid it must be something very wicked indeed. And
yet, when I asked one day if our grandfather (who, we think, had
followed Huss), was a wicked man, her eyes flashed like lightning, and
she said vehemently,--
"Better never lived or died!"
This perplexes us, but perhaps we shall understand it, like so many
other things, when we are older.
Great troubles followed on the death of Huss. Bohemia was divided into
three parties, who fought against each other. Castles were sacked, and
noble women and little children were driven into caves and forests. Our
forefathers were among the sufferers. In 1458 the conflict reached its
height; many were beheaded, hung, burned alive, or tortured. My
grandfather was killed as he was escaping, and my grandmother
encountered great dangers, and lost all the little property which was
left her, in reaching Eisenach, a young widow with two little children,
my mother and Aunt Agnes.
Whatever it was that my great grandfather believed wrong, his wife did
not seem to share it. She took refuge in the Augustinian Convent, where
she lived until my Aunt Agnes took the veil, and my mother was married,
when she came to live with us. She is as fond of Fritz as I am, in her
way; although she scolds us all in turn, which is perhaps a good thing,
because as she says, no one else does. And she has taught me nearly all
I know, except the Apostles' Creed and Ten Commandments, which our
father taught us, and the Paternoster and Ave Mary which we learned at
our mother's knee. Fritz, of course, knows infinitely more than I do. He
can say the Cisio Janus (the Church Calendar) through without one
mistake, and also the Latin Grammar, I believe; and he has read Latin
Books of which I cannot remember the names; and he understands all that
the priests read and sing, and can sing himself as well as any of them.
But the legends of the saints, and the multiplication table, and the
names of herbs and flowers, and the account of the Holy Sepulchre, and
of the pilgrimage to Rome,--all these our grandmother has taught us. She
looks so beautiful, our dear old grandmother, as she sits by the stove
with her knitting, and talks to Fritz and me, with her lovely white hair
and her dark bright eyes, so full of life and youth, they make us think
of the fire on the hearth when the snow is on the roof, all warm within,
or, as Fritz says,--
"It seems as if her heart lived always in the summer, and the winter of
old age could only touch her body."
But I think the summer in which our grandmother's soul lives must be
rather a fiery kind of summer, in which there are lightnings as well as
sunshine. Fritz thinks we shall know her again at the Resurrection Day
by that look in her eyes, only perhaps a little softened. But that seems
to me terrible, and very far off; and I do not like to think of it. We
often debate which of the saints she is like. I think St. Anna, the
mother of Mary, mother of God, but Fritz thinks St. Catherine of Egypt,
because she is so like a queen.
Besides all this, I had nearly forgotten to say I know the names of
several of the stars, which Fritz taught me. And I can knit and spin,
and do point stitch, and embroider a little. I intend to teach it to all
the children. There are a great many children in our home and more every
year. If there had not been so many, I might have had time to learn
more, and also to be more religious; but I cannot see what they would do
at home if I were to have a vocation. Perhaps some of the younger ones
may be spared to become saints. I wonder if this should turn out to be
so, and if I help them, if any one ever found some little humble place
in heaven for helping some one else to be religious. Because then there
might perhaps be hope for me after all.
* * * * *
Our father is the wisest man in Eisenach. The mother thinks, perhaps, in
the world. Of this, however, our grandmother has doubts. She has seen
other places besides Eisenach, which is perhaps the reason. He certainly
is the wisest man I ever saw. He talks about more things that I cannot
understand than any one else I know. He is also a great inventor. He
thought of the plan of printing books before any one else, and had
almost completed the invention before any press was set up. And he
always believed there was another world on the other side of the great
sea, long before the Admiral Christopher Columbus discovered America.
The only misfortune has been that some one else has always stepped in
just before he had completed his inventions, when nothing but some
little insignificant detail was wanting to make everything perfect, and
carried off all the credit and profit. It is this which has kept us from
becoming rich,--this and the children. But the father's temper is so
placid and even, nothing ever sours it. And this is what makes us all
admire and love him so much, even more than his great abilities. He
seems to rejoice in these successes of other people just as much as if
he had quite succeeded in making them himself. If the mother laments a
little over the fame that might have been his, he smiles and says,--
"Never mind, little mother. It will be all the same a hundred years
hence. Let us not grudge any one his reward. The world has the benefit
if we have not."
Then if the mother sighs a little over the scanty larder and wardrobe,
he replies,--
"Cheer up, little mother, there are more Americas yet to be discovered,
and more inventions to be made. In fact," he adds, with that deep far
seeing look of his, "something else has just occurred to me, which, when
I have brought it to perfection, will throw all the discoveries of this
and every other age into the shade."
And he kisses the mother and departs into his printing-room. And the
mother looks wonderingly after him, and says,--
"We must not disturb the father, children, with our little cares. He has
great things in his mind, which we shall all reap the harvest of some
day."
So, she goes to patch some little garment once more, and to try to make
one day's dinner expand into enough for two.
What the father's great discovery is at present, Fritz and I do not
quite know. But we think it has something to do, either with the planets
and the stars, or with that wonderful stone the philosophers have been
so long occupied about. In either case, it is sure to make us enormously
rich all at once; and, meantime, we may well be content to eke out our
living as best we can.
* * * * *
Of the mother I cannot think of anything to say. She is just the
mother--our own dear, patient, loving, little mother--unlike every one
else in the world; and yet it seems as if there was nothing to say about
her by which one could make any one else understand what she is. It
seems as if she were to other people (with reverence I say it) just what
the blessed Mother of God is to the other saints. St. Catherine has her
wheel and her crown, and St. Agnes her lamb and her palm, and St. Ursula
her eleven thousand virgins; but Mary, the ever-blessed, has only the
Holy Child. She is the blessed woman, the Holy mother, and nothing else.
That is just what the mother is. She is the precious little mother, and
the best woman in the world, and that is all. I could describe her
better by saying what she is not. She never says a harsh word to any one
nor of any one. She is never impatient with the father, like our
grandmother. She is never impatient with the children, like me. She
never complains or scolds. She is never idle. She never looks severe and
cross at us, like Aunt Agnes. But I must not compare her with Aunt
Agnes, because she herself once reproved me for doing so; she said Aunt
Agnes was a religious, a pure, and holy woman, far, far above her sphere
or ours; and we might be thankful, if we ever reached heaven, if she let
us kiss the hem of her garment.
* * * * *
Yes, Aunt Agnes is a holy woman--a nun; I must be careful what I say of
her. She makes long, long prayers, they say,--so long that she has been
found in the morning fainting on the cold floor of the convent church.
She eats so little that Father Christopher, who is the convent confessor
and ours, says he sometimes thinks she must be sustained by angels. But
Fritz and I think that, if that is true, the angel's food cannot be very
nourishing; for, when we saw her last, through the convent grating, she
looked like a shadow in her black robe, or like that dreadful picture of
death we saw in the convent chapel. She wears the coarsest sackcloth,
and often, they say, sleeps on ashes. One of the nuns told my mother,
that one day when she fainted, and they had to unloose her dress, they
found scars and stripes, scarcely healed, on her fair neck and arms,
which she must have inflicted on herself. They all say she will have a
very high place in heaven; but it seems to me, unless there is a very
great difference between the highest and lowest places in heaven, it is
a great deal of trouble to take. But, then, I am not religious; and it
is altogether so exceedingly difficult to me to understand about heaven.
Will every one in heaven be always struggling for the high places?
Because when every one does that at church on the great festival days,
it is not at all pleasant; those who succeed look proud, and those who
fail look cross. But, of course, no one will be cross in heaven, nor
proud. Then how will the saints feel who do _not_ get the highest
places? Will they be pleased or disappointed? If they are pleased, what
is the use of struggling so much to climb a little higher? And if they
are not pleased, would that be saint-like? Because the mother always
teaches us to choose the lowest places, and the eldest to give up to the
little ones. Will the greatest, then, _not_ give up to the little ones
in heaven? Of one thing I feel sure: if the mother had a high place in
heaven, she would always be stooping down to help some one else up, or
making room for others. And then, what _are_ the highest places in
heaven? At the emperor's court, I know, they are the places nearest him;
the seven Electors stand close around the throne. But can it be possible
that any would ever feel at ease, and happy, so very near the Almighty?
It seems so exceedingly difficult to please Him here, and so very easy
to offend Him, that it does seem to me it would be happier to be a
little further off, in some little quiet corner near the gate, with a
good many of the saints between. The other day, Father Christopher
ordered me such a severe penance for dropping a crumb of the sacred
Host; although I could not help thinking it was as much the priest's
fault as mine. But he said God would be exceedingly displeased; and
Fritz told me the priests fast and torment themselves severely
sometimes, for only omitting a word in the Mass.
Then the awful picture of the Lord Christ, with the lightnings in his
hand! It is very different from the carving of him on the cross. Why did
he suffer so? Was it, like Aunt Agnes, to get a higher place in heaven?
or, perhaps, to have the right to be severe, as she is with us? Such
very strange things seem to offend and to please God, I cannot
understand it at all; but that is because I have no vocation for
religion. In the convent, the mother says, they grow like God, and so
understand him better.
Is Aunt Agnes, then, more like God than our mother? That face, still and
pale as death; those cold, severe eyes; that voice, so hollow and
monotonous, as if it came from a metal tube or a sepulchre, instead of
from a heart! Is it with that look God will meet us, with that kind of
voice he will speak to us? Indeed, the Judgment-day is very dreadful to
think of; and one must indeed need to live many years in the convent not
to be afraid of going to heaven.
Oh, if only our mother were the saint--the kind of good woman that
pleased God--instead of Aunt Agnes, how sweet it would be to try and be
a saint then; and how sure one would feel that one might hope to reach
heaven, and that, if one reached it, one would be happy there!
* * * * *
Aunt Ursula Cotta is another of the women I wish were the right kind of
saint. She is my father's first cousin's wife; but we have always called
her aunt, because almost all little children who know her do,--she is so
fond of children, and so kind to every one. She is not poor like us,
although Cousin Conrad Cotta never made any discoveries, or even nearly
made any. There is a picture of St. Elizabeth of Thuringia, our sainted
Landgravine, in our parish church, which always makes me think of Aunt
Ursula. St. Elizabeth is standing at the gate of a beautiful castle,
something like our castle of the Wartburg, and around her are kneeling a
crowd of very poor people--cripples, and blind, and poor thin mothers,
with little hungry-looking children--all stretching out their hands to
the lady, who is looking on with such kindly compassionate looks, just
like Aunt Ursula; except that St. Elizabeth is very thin and pale, and
looks almost as nearly starved as the beggars around her, and Aunt
Ursula is rosy and fat, with the pleasantest dimples in her round face.
But the look in the eyes is the same--so loving, and true, and earnest,
and compassionate. The thinness and pallor are, of course, only just the
difference there must be between a saint who fasts, and does so much
penance, and keeps herself awake whole nights saying prayers, as St.
Elizabeth did, and a prosperous burgher's wife, who eats and sleeps like
other people, and is only like the good Landgravine in being so kind to
every one.
The other half of the story of the picture, however, would not do for
Aunt Ursula. In the apron of the saint, instead of loaves of bread are
beautiful clusters of red roses. Our grandmother told us the meaning of
this. The good Landgravine's husband did not quite like her giving so
much to the poor; because she was so generous she would have left the
treasury bare. So she used to give her alms unknown to him. But on this
day when she was giving away those loaves to the beggars at the castle
gate, he happened suddenly to return, and finding her occupied in this
way, he asked her rather severely what she had in her apron. She said
"roses!"
"Let me see," said the Landgrave.
And God loved her so much, that to save her from being blamed, he
wrought a miracle. When she opened her apron, instead of the loaves she
had been distributing, there were beautiful flowers. And this is what
the picture represents. I always wanted to know the end of the story. I
hope God worked another miracle when the Landgrave went away, and
changed the roses back into loaves. I suppose He did, because the
starving people look so contented. But our grandmother does not know.
Only in this, I do not think Aunt Ursula would have done the same as the
Landgravine. I think she would have said boldly if Cousin Cotta had
asked her, "I have loaves in my apron, and I am giving them to these
poor starving subjects of yours and mine," and never been afraid of what
he would say. And then, perhaps, Cousin Cotta--I mean the
Landgrave's--heart would have been so touched, that he would have
forgiven her, and even praised her, and brought her some more loaves.
And then instead of the bread being changed to flowers, the Landgrave's
heart would have been changed from stone to flesh, which does seem a
better thing. But when I once said this to grandmother, she said it was
very wrong to fancy other ends to the legends of the saints, just as if
they were fairy tales; that St. Elizabeth really lived in that old
castle of the Wartburg, not more than three hundred years ago, and
walked through those very streets of Eisenach, and gave alms to the poor
here, and went into the hospitals, and dressed the most loathsome wounds
that no one else would touch, and spoke tender loving words to wretched
outcasts no one else would look at. That seems to me so good and dear of
her; but that is not what made her a saint, because Aunt Ursula and our
mother do things like that, and our mother has told me again and again
that it is Aunt Agnes who is like the saint, and not she.
It is what she suffered, I suppose, that has made them put her in the
Calendar; and yet it is not suffering in itself that makes people
saints, because I do not believe St. Elizabeth herself suffered more
than our mother. It is true she used to leave her husband's side and
kneel all night on the cold floor, while he was asleep. But the mother
has done the same as that often and often. When any of the little ones
has been ill, how often she has walked up and down hour after hour, with
the sick child in her arms, soothing and fondling it, and quieting all
its fretful cries with unwearying tender patience. Then St. Elizabeth
fasted until she was almost a shadow; but how often have I seen our
mother quietly distribute all that was nice and good in our frugal meals
to my father and the children, scarcely leaving herself a bit, and
hiding her plate behind a dish that the father might not see. And Fritz
and I often say how wasted and worn she looks; not like the Mother of
Mercy as we remember her, but too much like the wan pale Mother of
Sorrows with the pierced heart. Then as to pain, have not I seen our
mother suffer pain compared with which Aunt Agnes or St. Elizabeth's
discipline must be like the prick of a pin.
But yet all that is not the right kind of suffering to make a saint. Our
precious mother walks up and down all night not to make herself a saint,
but to soothe her sick child. She eats no dinner, not because she
chooses to fast, but because we are poor, and bread is dear. She
suffers, because God lays suffering upon her, not because she takes it
on herself. And all this cannot make her a saint. When I say anything to
compassionate or to honour her, she smiles and says,--
"My Else, I chose this lower life instead of the high vocation of your
Aunt Agnes, and I must take the consequences. We cannot have our portion
both in this world and the next."
If the size of our mother's portion in the next world were to be in
proportion to its smallness in this, I think she might have plenty to
spare; but this I do not venture to say to her.
There is one thing St. Elizabeth did which certainly our mother would
never do. She left her little father less children to go into a convent.
Perhaps it was this that pleased God and the Lord Jesus Christ so very
much, that they took her up to be so high in heaven. If this is the
case, it is a great mercy for our father and for us that our mother has
not set her heart on being a saint. We sometimes think, however, that
perhaps although He cannot make her a saint on account of the rules they
have in heaven about it, God may give our mother some little good thing,
or some kind word, because of her being so very good to us. _She_ says
this is no merit, however, because of her loving us so much. If she
loved us less, and so found it more a trouble to work for us; or if we
were little stranger beggar children she _chose_ to be kind to, instead
of her own, I suppose God would like it better.
There is one thing, moreover, in St. Elizabeth's history which once
brought Fritz and me into great trouble and perplexity. When we were
little children and did not understand things as we do now, but thought
we ought to try and imitate the saints, and that what was right for them
must be right for us, and when our grandmother had been telling us about
the holy Landgravine privately selling her jewels, and emptying her
husband's treasury to feed the poor, we resolved one day to go and do
likewise. We knew a very poor old woman in the next street, with a great
many orphan grandchildren, and we planned a long time together before we
thought of the way to help her like St. Elizabeth. At length the
opportunity came. It was Christmas eve, and for a rarity there were some
meat, and apples, and pies in our storeroom. We crept into the room in
the twilight, filled my apron with pies, and meat, and cakes, and stole
out to our old woman's to give her our booty.
The next morning the larder was found, despoiled of half of what was to
have been our Christmas dinner. The children cried, and the mother
looked almost as distressed as they did. The father's placid temper for
once was roused, and he cursed the cat and the rats, and wished he had
completed his new infallible rat trap. Our grandmother said very
quietly,--
"Thieves more discriminating than rats or mice have been here. There are
no crumbs, and not a thing is out of place. Besides, I never heard of
rats or mice eating pie-dishes."
Fritz and I looked at each other, and began to fear that we had done
wrong, when little Christopher said--
"I saw Fritz and Else carry out the pies last night."
"Else! Fritz!" said our father, "what does this mean?"
I would have confessed, but I remembered St. Elizabeth and the roses,
and said, with a trembling voice--
"They were not pies you saw, Christopher, but roses."
"Roses," said the mother very gravely, "at Christmas!"
I almost hoped the pies would have reappeared on the shelves. It was the
very juncture at which they did in the legend; but they did not. On the
contrary, everything seemed to turn against us.
"Fritz," said our father very sternly, "tell the truth, or I shall give
you a flogging."
This was a part of the story where St. Elizabeth's example quite failed
us. I did not know what she would have done if some one else had been
punished for her generosity; but I felt no doubt what I must do.
"O father!" I said, "it is my fault--it was my thought! We took the
things to the poor old woman in the next street for her grandchildren."
"Then she is no better than a thief," said our father, "to have taken
them. Fritz and Else, foolish children, shall have no Christmas dinner
for their pains and Else shall, moreover, be locked into her own room
for telling a story."
I was sitting shivering in my room, wondering how it was that things
succeeded so differently with St. Elizabeth and with us, when Aunt
Ursula's round pleasant voice sounded up the stairs, and in another
minute she was holding me laughing in her arms.
"My poor little Else! We must wait a little before we imitate our patron
saint; or we must begin at the other end. It would never do, for
instance, for me to travel to Rome with eleven thousand young ladies
like St. Ursula."
My grandmother had guessed the meaning of our foray, and Aunt Ursula
coming in at the time, had heard the narrative, and insisted on sending
us another Christmas dinner. Fritz and I secretly believed that St.
Elizabeth had a good deal to do with the replacing of our Christmas
dinner; but after that, we understood that caution was needed in
transferring the holy example of the saints to our own lives, and that
at present we must not venture beyond the ten commandments.
Yet to think that St. Elizabeth, a real canonized saint--whose picture
is over altars in the churches--whose good deeds are painted on the
church windows, and illumined by the sun shining through them--whose
bones are laid up in reliquaries, one of which I wear always next my
heart--actually lived and prayed in that dark old castle above us, and
walked along these very streets--perhaps even had been seen from this
window of Fritz's and my beloved lumber-room.
Only three hundred years ago! If only I had lived three hundred years
earlier, or she three hundred years later, I might have seen her and
talked to her, and asked her what it was that made her a saint. There
are so many questions I should like to have asked her. I would have
said, "Dear St. Elizabeth, tell me what it is that makes you a saint? It
cannot be your charity, because no one can be more charitable than Aunt
Ursula, and she is not a saint; and it cannot be your sufferings, or
your patience, or your love, or your denying yourself for the sake of
others, because our mother is like you in all that, and she is not a
saint. Was it because you left your little children, that God loves you
so much? or because you not only did and bore the things God laid on
you, as our mother does, but chose out other things for yourself, which
you thought harder?" And if she were gentle (as I think she was), and
would have listened, I would have asked her, "Holy Landgravine, why are
things which were so right and holy in you, wrong for Fritz and me?" And
I would also have asked her, "Dear St. Elizabeth, my patroness, what is
it in heaven that makes you so happy there?"
But I forgot--she would not have been in heaven at all. She would not
even have been made a saint, because it was only after her death, when
the sick and crippled were healed by touching her body, that they found
out what a saint she had been. Perhaps, even, she would not herself have
known she was a saint. And if so, I wonder if it can be possible that
our mother is a saint after all, only she does not know it.
* * * * *
Fritz and I are four or five years older than any of the children. Two
little sisters died of the plague before any more were born. One was
baptized, and died when she was a year old, before she could soil her
baptismal robes. Therefore we feel sure she is in paradise. I think of
her whenever I look at the cloud of glory around the Blessed Virgin in
St. George's Church. Out of the cloud peep a number of happy
child-faces--some leaning their round soft cheeks on their pretty
dimpled hands, and all looking up with such confidence at the dear
mother of God. I suppose the little children in heaven especially belong
to her. It must be very happy, then, to have died young.
But of that other little nameless babe who died at the same time none of
us ever dare to speak. It was not baptized, and they say the souls of
little unbaptized babes hover about for ever in the darkness between
heaven and hell. Think of the horror of falling from the loving arms of
our mother into the cold and the darkness, to shiver and wail there for
ever, and belong to no one. At Eisenach we have a Foundling Hospital,
attached to one of the nunneries founded by St. Elizabeth, for such
forsaken little ones. If St. Elizabeth could only establish a Foundling
somewhere near the gates of paradise, for such little nameless outcast
child-souls! But I suppose she is too high in heaven, and too far from
the gates to hear the plaintive cries of such abandoned little ones. Or
perhaps God, who was so much pleased with her for deserting her own
little children, would not allow it. I suppose the saints in heaven who
have been mothers, or even elder sisters like me, leave their mother's
hearts on earth, and that in paradise they are all monks and nuns like
Aunt Agnes and Father Christopher.
Next to that little nameless one came the twin girls Chriemhild (named
after our grandmother), and Atlantis, so christened by our father on
account of the discovery of the great world beyond the sea which he had
so often thought of, and which the great admiral Christopher Columbus
accomplished about that time. Then the twin boys Boniface Pollux and
Christopher Castor; their names being a compromise between our father,
who was struck with some remarkable conjunction of their stars at their
birth, and my mother, who thought it only right to counterbalance such
Pagan appellations with names written in heaven. Then another boy, who
only lived a few weeks; and then the present baby, Thekla, who is the
plaything and darling of us all.
* * * * *
These are nearly all the people I know well; except, indeed, Martin
Luther, the miner's son, to whom Aunt Ursula Cotta has been so kind. He
is dear to us all as one of our own family. He is about the same age as
Fritz, who thinks there is no one like him. And he has such a voice, and
is so religious, and yet so merry withal; at least at times. It was his
voice and his devout ways which first drew Aunt Ursula's attention to
him. She had seen him often at the daily prayers at church. He used to
sing as a chorister with the boys of the Latin school of the parish of
St. George, where Fritz and he studied. The ringing tones of his voice,
so clear and true, often attracted Aunt Ursula's attention; and he
always seemed so devout. But we knew little about him. He was very poor,
and had a pinched, half-starved look when first we noticed him. Often I
have seen him on the cold winter evenings singing about the streets for
alms, and thankfully receiving a few pieces of broken bread and meat at
the doors of the citizens; for he was never a bold and impudent beggar
as some of the scholars are. Our acquaintance with him, however, began
one day which I remember well. I was at Aunt Ursula's house, which is in
George Street, near the church and school. I had watched the choir of
boys singing from door to door through the street. No one had given them
anything: they looked disappointed and hungry. At last they stopped
before the window where Aunt Ursula and I were sitting with her little
boy. That clear, high, ringing voice was there again. Aunt Ursula went
to the door and called Martin in, and then she went herself to the
kitchen, and after giving him a good meal himself, sent him away with
his wallet full, and told him to come again very soon. After that, I
suppose she consulted with Cousin Conrad Cotta, and the result was that
Martin Luther became an inmate of their house, and has lived among us
familiarly since then like one of our own cousins.
He is wonderfully changed since that day. Scarcely any one would have
thought then what a joyous nature his is. The only thing in which it
seemed then to flow out was in his clear true voice. He was subdued and
timid like a creature that had been brought up without love. Especially
he used to be shy with young maidens, and seemed afraid to look in a
woman's face. I think they must have been very severe with him at home.
Indeed, he confessed to Fritz, that he had often as a child been beaten
till the blood came for trifling offences, such as taking a nut, and
that he was afraid to play in his parents' presence. And yet he would
not hear a word reflecting on his parents. He says his mother is the
most pious woman in Mansfeld, where his family live, and his father
denies himself in every way to maintain and educate his children,
especially Martin, who is to be the learned man of the family. His
parents are inured to hardships themselves, and believe it to be the
best early discipline for boys. Certainly poor Martin had enough of
hardship here. But that may be the fault of his mother's relations at
Eisenach, who, they hoped, would have been kind to him, but who do not
seem to have cared for him at all. At one time he told Fritz he was so
pinched and discouraged by the extreme poverty he suffered, that he
thought of giving up study in despair, and returning to Mansfeld to work
with his father at the smelting furnaces, or in the mines under the
mountains. Yet indignant tears start to his eyes if any one ventures to
hint that his father might have done more for him. He was a poor digger
in the mines, he told Fritz, and often he had seen his mother carrying
firewood on her shoulders from the pine-woods near Mansfeld.
But it was in the monastic schools, no doubt, that he learned to be so
shy and grave. He had been taught to look on married life as a low and
evil thing; and, of course, we all know it cannot be so high and pure as
the life in the convent. I remember now his look of wonder when Aunt
Ursula, who is not fond of monks, said to him one day, "There is nothing
on earth more lovely than the love of husband and wife, when it is in
the fear of God."
In the warmth of her bright and sunny heart, his whole nature seemed to
open like the flowers in summer. And now there is none in all our circle
so popular and sociable as he is. He plays on the lute, and sings as we
think no one else can. And our children all love him, he tells them such
strange, beautiful stories about enchanted gardens and crusaders, and
about his own childhood, among the pine-forests and the mines.
It is from Martin Luther, indeed, that I have heard more than from any
one else, except from our grandmother, of the great world beyond
Eisenach. He has lived already in three other towns, so that he is quite
a traveller, and knows a great deal of the world, although he is not yet
twenty. Our father has certainly told us wonderful things about the
great islands beyond the seas which the Admiral Columbus discovered, and
which will one day, he is sure, be found to be only the other side of
the Indies and Tokay and Araby. Already the Spaniards have found gold in
those islands, and our father has little doubt that they are the Ophir
from which King Solomon's ships brought the gold for the temple. Also,
he has told us about the strange lands in the south, in Africa, where
the dwarfs live, and the black giants, and the great hairy men who climb
the trees and make nests there, and the dreadful men-eaters, and the
people who have their heads between their shoulders. But we have not yet
met with any one who have seen all those wonders, so that Martin Luther
and our grandmother are the greatest travellers Fritz and I are
acquainted with.
Martin was born at Eisleben. His mother's is a burgher family. Three of
her brothers live here at Eisenach, and here she was married. But his
father came of a peasant race. His grandfather had a little farm of his
own at Mora, among the Thuringian pine-forests; but Martin's father was
the second son; their little property went to the eldest, and he became
a miner, went to Eisleben, and then settled at Mansfeld, near the Hartz
mountains where the silver and copper lie buried in the earth.
At Mansfeld Martin lived until he was nineteen. I should like to see the
place. It must be so strange to watch the great furnaces, where they
fuse the copper and smelt the precious silver, gleaming through the pine
woods, for they burn all through the night in the clearings of the
forest. When Martin was a little boy he may have watched by them with
his father, who now has furnaces and a foundry of his own. Then there
are the deep pits under the hills, out of which come from time to time
troops of grim-looking miners. Martin is fond of the miners; they are
such a brave and hardy race, and they have fine bold songs and choruses
of their own which he can sing, and wild original pastimes. Chess is a
favorite game with them. They are thoughtful too, as men may well be who
dive into the secrets of the earth. Martin, when a boy, has often gone
into the dark, mysterious pits and winding caverns with them, and seen
the veins of precious ore. He has also often seen foreigners of various
nations. They come from all parts of the world to Mansfeld for the
silver,--from Bavaria and Switzerland, and even from the beautiful
Venice, which is a city of palaces, where the streets are canals filled
by the blue sea, and instead of waggons they use boats, from which
people land on the marble steps of the palaces. All these things Martin
has heard described by those who have really seen them, besides what he
has seen himself. His father also frequently used to have the
schoolmasters and learned men at his house, that his sons might profit
by their wise conversation. But I doubt if he can have enjoyed this so
much. It must have been difficult to forget the rod with which once he
was beaten fourteen times in one morning, so as to feel sufficiently at
ease to enjoy their conversation. Old Count Gunther of Mansfeld thinks
much of Martin's father, and often used to send for him to consult him
about the mines.
Their house at Mansfeld stood at some distance from the school-house
which was on the hill, so that, when he was little, an older boy used to
be kind to him, and carry him in his arms to school. I daresay that was
in winter, when his little feet were swollen with chilblains, and his
poor mother used to go up to the woods to gather faggots for the hearth.
His mother must be a very good and holy woman, but not, I fancy, quite
like our mother; rather more like Aunt Agnes. I think I should have been
rather afraid of her. Martin says she is very religious. He honours and
loves her very much, although she was very strict with him, and once, he
told Fritz, beat him, for taking a nut from their stores, until the
blood came. She must be a brave, truthful woman, who would not spare
herself or others; but I think I should have felt more at home with his
father, who used so often to kneel beside Martin's bed at night, and
pray God to make him a good and useful man. Martin's father, however,
does not seem so fond of the monks and nuns, and is therefore, I
suppose, not so religious as his mother is. He does not at all wish
Martin to become a priest or a monk, but to be a great lawyer, or
doctor, or professor at some university.
Mansfeld, however, is a very holy place. There are many monasteries and
nunneries there, and in one of them two of the countesses were nuns.
There is also a castle there, and our St. Elizabeth worked miracles
there as well as here. The devil also is not idle at Mansfeld. A wicked
old witch lived close to Martin's house, and used to frighten and
distress his mother much, bewitching the children so that they nearly
cried themselves to death. Once even, it is said, the devil himself got
up into the pulpit, and preached, of course in disguise. But in all the
legends it is the same. The devil never seems so busy as where the
saints are, which is another reason why I feel how difficult it would be
to be religious.
Martin had a sweet voice, and loved music as a child, and he used often
to sing at people's doors as he did here. Once, at Christmas time, he
was singing carols from village to village among the woods with other
boys, when a peasant came to the door of his hut, where they were
singing, and said in a loud gruff voice, "Where are you, boys?" The
children were so frightened that they scampered away as fast as they
could, and only found out afterwards that the man with a rough voice had
a kind heart, and had brought them out some sausages. Poor Martin was
used to blows in those days, and had good reason to dread them. It must
have been pleasant, however, to hear the boys' voices carolling through
the woods about Jesus born at Bethlehem. Voices echo so strangely among
the silent pine-forests.
When Martin was thirteen he left Mansfeld and went to Magdeburg, where
the Archbishop Ernest lives, the brother of our Elector, who has a
beautiful palace, and twelve trumpeters to play to him always when he is
at dinner. Magdeburg must be a magnificent city, very nearly, we think,
as grand as Rome itself. There is a great cathedral there, and knights
and princes and many soldiers, who prance about the streets; and
tournaments and splendid festivals. But our Martin heard more than he
saw of all this. He and John Reineck of Mansfeld (a boy older than
himself, who is one of his greatest friends), went to the school of the
Franciscan Cloister, and had to spend their time with the monks, or sing
about the streets for bread, or in the church-yard when the Franciscans
in their grey robes went there to fulfill their office of burying the
dead. But it was not for him, the miner's son, to complain, when, as he
says, he used to see a Prince of Anhalt going about the streets in a
cowl begging bread, with a sack on his shoulders like a beast of burden,
insomuch that he was bowed to the ground. The poor prince, Martin said,
had fasted and watched and mortified his flesh until he looked like an
image of death, with only skin and bones. Indeed, shortly after he died.
At Magdeburg also, Martin saw the picture of which he has often told us.
"A great ship was painted, meant to signify the Church, wherein there
was no layman, not even a king or prince. There were none but the pope
with his cardinals and bishops in the prow, with the Holy Ghost hovering
over them, the priests and monks with their oars at the side; and thus
they were sailing on heavenward. The laymen were swimming along in the
water around the ship. Some of them were drowning; some were drawing
themselves up to the ship by means of ropes, which the monks, moved with
pity, and making over their own good works, did cast out to them to keep
them from drowning, and to enable them to cleave to the vessel and to go
with the others to heaven. There was no pope, nor cardinal, nor bishop,
nor priest, nor monk in the water, but laymen only."
It must have been a very dreadful picture, and enough to make any one
afraid of not being religious, or else to make one feel how useless it
is for any one except the monks and nuns, to try to be religious at all.
Because however little merit any one had acquired, some kind monk might
still be found to throw a rope out of the ship and help him in; and,
however many good works any layman might do, they would be of no avail
to help him out of the flood, or even to keep him from drowning, unless
he had some friends in a cloister.
I said Martin was merry; and so he is, with the children, or when he is
cheered with music or singing. And yet, on the whole, I think he is
rather grave, and often he looks very thoughtful, and even melancholy.
His merriment does not seem to be so much from carelessness as from
earnestness of heart, so that whether he is telling a story to the
little ones, or singing a lively song, his whole heart is in it,--in his
play as well as in his work.
In his studies Fritz says there is no one at Eisenach who can come near
him, whether in reciting, or writing prose or verse, or translating, or
church music.
Master Trebonius, the head of St. George's school, is a very learned man
and very polite. He takes off his hat, Fritz says, and bows to his
scholars when he enters the school, for he says that "among these boys
are future burgomasters, chancellors, doctors, and magistrates." This
must be very different from the masters at Mansfeld. Master Trebonius
thinks very much of Martin. I wonder if he and Fritz will be
burgomasters or doctors one day.
Martin is certainly very religious for a boy, and so is Fritz. They
attend mass very regularly, and confession, and keep the fasts.
From what I have heard Martin say, however, I think he is as much afraid
of God and Christ and the dreadful day of wrath and judgment as I am.
Indeed I am sure he feels, as every one must, there would be no hope for
us were it not for the Blessed Mother of God who may remind her Son how
she nursed and cared for him, and move him to have some pity.
But Martin has been at the University of Erfurt nearly two years, and
Fritz has now left us to study there with him; and we shall have no more
music, and the children no more stories until no one knows when.
* * * * *
These are the people I know. I have nothing else to say except about the
things I possess, and the place we live in.
The things are easily described. I have a silver reliquary, with a lock
of the hair of St. Elizabeth in it. That is my greatest treasure. I have
a black rosary with a large iron cross which Aunt Agnes gave me. I have
a missal, and part of a volume of the Nibelungen Lied; and besides my
every-day dress, a black taffetas jacket and a crimson stuff petticoat,
and two gold ear-rings, and a silver chain for holidays, which Aunt
Ursula gave me. Fritz and I between us have also a copy of some old
Latin hymns, with woodcuts, printed at Nuernberg. And in the garden I
have two rose bushes; and I have a wooden crucifix carved in Rome out of
wood which came from Bethlehem, and in a leather purse one gulden my
godmother gave me at my christening; and that is all.
The place we live in is Eisenach, and I think it a beautiful place. But
never having seen any other town, perhaps I cannot very well judge.
There are nine monasteries and nunneries here, many of them founded by
St. Elizabeth. And there are I do not know how many priests. In the
churches are some beautiful pictures of the sufferings and glory of the
saints; and painted windows, and on the altars gorgeous gold and silver
plate, and a great many wonderful relics which we go to adore on the
great saint's days.
The town is in a valley, and high above the houses rises the hill on
which stands the Wartburg, the castle where St. Elizabeth lived. I went
inside it once with our father to take some books to the Elector. The
rooms were beautifully furnished with carpets and velvet-covered chairs.
A lady dressed in silk and jewels, like St. Elizabeth in the pictures,
gave me sweetmeats. But the castle seemed to me dark and gloomy. I
wondered which was the room in which the proud mother of the Landgrave
lived, who was so discourteous to St. Elizabeth when she came a young
maiden from her royal home far away in Hungary; and which was the cold
wall against which she pressed her burning brow, when she rushed through
the castle in despair on hearing suddenly of the death of her husband.
I was glad to escape into the free forest again, for all around the
castle, and over all the hills, as far as we can see around Eisenach, it
is forest. The tall dark pine woods clothe the hills; but in the valleys
the meadows are very green beside the streams. It is better in the
valleys among the wild flowers than in that stern old castle, and I did
not wonder so much after being there that St. Elizabeth built herself a
hut in a lowly valley among the woods, and preferred to live and die
there.
It is beautiful in summer in the meadows, at the edge of the pine woods,
when the sun brings out the delicious aromatic perfume of the pines, and
the birds sing, and the rooks caw. I like it better than the incense in
St. George's Church, and almost better than the singing of the choir,
and certainly better than the sermons which are so often about the
dreadful fires and the judgment-day, or the confessional where they give
us such hard penances. The lambs, and the birds, and even the insects,
seem so happy, each with its own little bleat, or warble, or coo, or
buzz of content.
It almost seems then as if Mary, the dear Mother of God, were governing
the world instead of Christ, the Judge, or the Almighty with the
thunders. Every creature seems so blithe and so tenderly cared for I
cannot help feeling better there than at church. But that is because I
have so little religion.