BIRTH, MARRIAGE, AND DEATH CUSTOMS
As might be expected, very many ancient superstitious ideas have
lingered round the three great events of man’s life--his birth,
marriage, and death. They took shape in various customs which were
handed down from one generation to another long after the beliefs
underlying them had ceased to exist in the popular mind. But now the
traditional customs themselves are fast disappearing, whilst often their
original significance is a matter only to be explained by the most
learned folklorists. Here and there a new meaning has been grafted on to
an old practice, which makes the old usage sound rational, and prolongs
its life. For instance, in some districts, the first food given to a
newly-born baby is a spoonful of butter and sugar, administered as
wholesome, and even necessary medicine; but according to scholars, the
practice was in origin a religious rite, belonging to remote antiquity.
Again, it is popularly regarded as unlucky to cut a baby’s nails before
it is a year old, because if this was done the baby would most certainly
grow up a thief. If the nails need to be shortened, they must be bitten
or pulled off. The real reason why the baby’s fingers must not come in
contact with the scissors, is a fear respecting the baneful effect of
iron, which has its source in the Dark Ages of primitive man, cp.
‘Professor Rhys believes aversion to iron to be a survival of the
feeling implanted in man’s early life, when all metals were new, and
hence to be avoided.... The same dread of iron has doubtless given rise
to the custom throughout Europe regarding children’s nails. Everywhere,
including England, it is the practice to bite off the infant’s nails if
too long, and not to cut them, at least for the first year, or until the
child, who is peculiarly open to the attacks of all malignant
influences, has grown strong,’ F.T. Elworthy, _The Evil Eye_, 1895, p.
224. Further, Mr. Elworthy tells us that the habit of covering up a
new-born baby’s face whenever it is taken out of the house, said to be a
necessary protection against the rigour of the outer air, may be
referred to the ‘primaeval belief in the liability of infants to the
blighting effect of the stranger’s eye,’ _The Evil Eye_, p. 428.
[Sidenote: _Birth Customs_]
Much is supposed to depend upon which day of the week a child is born.
The following rhyme is well known, though it varies slightly in
different localities; this is a Devonshire version:
Munday’s cheel is fair in tha face.
Tewsday’s cheel is vull of grace.
Wensday’s cheel is vull of woe.
Thezday’s cheel hath var tü go.
Vriday’s cheel is loving and giving.
Satterday’s cheel work’th ’ard vur a living.
Zinday’s cheel’s a gentleman.
Cheel born upon old Kursemas day
Es güde, and wise, and fair, and gay.
For Latin and O.E. versions of this v. ‘Wochentags-Geburtsprognosen,’
by Prof. Max Förster in _Archiv für das Studium der neueren Sprachen
und Literaturen_, Band 128, Heft 3/4, June 1912. The cradle provided
for the baby must be paid for before it is brought into the house, else
the child that sleeps in it will die without means to pay for a coffin
(Yks.). Another curious superstition concerning a cradle is that should
any one rock an empty cradle another baby will shortly come to occupy
it (Shr. Sus. Cor.): Rock the cradle empty, You’ll rock the babies
plenty. When possible, a new-born child before being laid beside the
mother was placed in the arms of a maiden. This was thought to have a
beneficial influence on the development of its character. It is still
held important that the first time an infant leaves the mother’s room
it should be taken _up_stairs, not _down_. If there is no upper story,
then the nurse mounts upon a chair, or some other article of furniture,
with the baby in her arms; for if its first step in the world is a
descent, then its subsequent career in life will be a downward course.
This custom was observed in the case of a baby born a fortnight ago
in Oxford, June 3, 1912, in a highly superior family. In Cumberland a
child born on a Friday was always placed on the Bible shortly after
its birth, no doubt with intent to secure it against the power of
fairies. We have already noticed some of the ceremonies for warding
off evil beings. One of these observances, formerly in use in the
north of Scotland, was to turn an infant three times head over heels
in the nurse’s arms, and shake it three times head downwards, to keep
off fairies. Both in Scotland and in many parts of England a notion
prevailed that it was unlucky to wash the palms of a baby’s hands, for
if washed, they would never ‘gather riches’. Sometimes this rule was
observed till the baby was a year old.
[Sidenote: _Feasts at the Birth of a Child_]
In some districts it is still the custom to provide a feast on the
occasion of the birth of a child for all the friends and neighbours who
come to assist or to congratulate. This festive gathering is known under
various names, for example: the _bed-ale_ (sw.Cy.), the word _ale_ being
used in its old meaning of feast, cp. lit. Eng. _bridal_, from O.E.
_brȳd-ealu_, literally, the bride-feast. Sometimes, however, the term is
wrongly applied to the liquor prepared for these occasions, which,
properly speaking, is the _groaning-drink_. The _blithe-meat_ (Sc.
Irel.), where amongst the viands was always a cheese, called the
_cryin’-oot cheese_; the _cummer-skolls_ (Sh. & Or.I.); the _merry-meal_
(Chs.), where the chief items were currant cakes called Lord Ralph, and
spirits of which all must partake to bring good luck to the new arrival;
the _merry-meat_ (ne.Sc.), where was served the _cryin’-bannock_ made of
oatmeal, milk, and sugar, and baked in a frying-pan, and beside it the
indispensable cheese, or _cryin’-kebback_, of which each guest was
expected to carry away a piece for distribution among friends who were
not present at the entertainment; the _shout_ (Yks.), to which the
neighbours were summoned at the moment when the birth was about to take
place, and to which they came each with a warming-pan. After the event,
they stayed to spend a festive hour, when each guest was expected to
favour the child with a good wish. In more modern times this custom of
celebrating a birth by a convivial gathering is commonly spoken of in
northern England as: the head-washing, or: weshin’ t’bairn’s head, and
is not so much a feast as a free drinking.
The old north-country toast drunk at the birth-feast was: The wife a
good church-going and a battening to the bairn; or: Here’s good
battening to t’barn, and good mends to the mother!
[Sidenote: _Dainties belonging to Birth Feasts_]
The _groaning-cheese_ seems to have been everywhere a standing dish
at the birth-feast. Formerly it was the practice to cut it in the
middle, and so by degrees form it into a large kind of ring through
which the child was drawn on the day of the christening (n.Cy. Oxf.).
A slice of it laid under the pillow was supposed to enable a maiden
to dream of her lover. The remains of the cheese and cake were kept
for subsequent callers, and every visitor was expected to taste
them. A special Cumberland dainty belonging to birth festivities is
_run-butter_, or _rum-butter_, fresh butter melted with brown sugar and
rum, poured into china bowls, where it stiffens, and out of which it is
served, generally with _havver_ [oat] _breed_. The lady who first cuts
into the bowl is predicted to require a similar compliment. At one time
it was customary to hide the bowl of _rum-butter_ and allow it to be
searched for by boys, who, having found it and eaten its contents, made
a collection of money, which was put by for the baby in whose honour
the delicacy had been made.
A custom once common in nearly all the northern counties of
England--and still extant at the end of last century--was that of
presenting a new-born infant with three articles ‘for luck’, the first
time it visited a neighbour or relation. The gifts usually consisted
of an egg, a handful of salt, and a new sixpence, but sometimes a
piece of bread, or a bunch of matches was substituted for the coin. In
Lancashire and Yorkshire this ceremony was known as _puddinging_; in
Durham the gifts were termed: the bairn’s awmous, cp. O.N. _almusa_,
an alms. On the day of the christening somewhat similar gifts were
made by the parents on behalf of the child. Before the procession
started for church, a parcel was made up containing a slice of the
christening cake, some cheese, and a packet of salt. This was called
the _christening bit_ (Sc. n.Cy.), or _kimbly_ (Cor.). It was presented
to the first person met on the way to church, and it was considered
specially lucky if that person chanced to be of the opposite sex to
the infant. In parts of Scotland the receiver was always the first
male passer-by. He constituted the child’s _first-foot_, and if he
was a dark-haired man it augured well for the child’s future, but
if fair-haired, then the reverse. After the church service came the
christening feast at home, with its special cakes, and dishes such as
_butter-sops_ (Cum. Wm.), oatcake or wheaten bread fried in melted
butter and sugar. Then the child’s health would be drunk with some such
formula as the following: Wissin’ the company’s gueede health, an’
grace and growin’ to the bairn (ne.Sc.).
[Sidenote: _Omens drawn from Baptismal Service_]
The ceremony of private baptism is never considered equal to public
baptism in church. A child baptized privately is said to have been
_half-baptized_ (w.Midl. Oxf. Ken. Sus.), or _named_ (e.An.), e.g. He
wasn’t ever christened, only named. Indeed, the term _half-baptized_ is
sometimes used as an epithet applied to persons of deficient intellect,
equivalent to half-baked. It is held lucky for the baby to cry during
some part of the baptismal service, the utterance of one good yell being
the most favourable omen. If a male and a female infant are presented
for baptism at the same time, the boy must be baptized first, else he
will grow up effeminate, and play second fiddle to his wife; and the
girl will become masculine in face and mien (Yks.).
[Sidenote: _Marriage Customs_]
Most of the rural wedding customs belong to the days when, in
accordance with the popular maxim: Better wed over the mixen [dunghill]
than over the moor, the bride’s old home with her parents, and the
new one she was to share with her husband were both within walking
distance of the church where the wedding took place. Then all the
neighbours were the friends of both bride and bridegroom, they had all
grown up together with the same local traditions, and they all clung
to the observance of the same ceremonies. Now railways and bicycles,
newspapers and cheap magazines, have broken down the old order of
things. The bridegroom’s friends and relations are often complete
strangers to the bride’s kith and kin, their ways and beliefs are
unknown to each other. They cannot join together in some time-honoured
ceremonial when the newly-wedded pair enter their future home; instead
they wave hats and handkerchiefs in the wake of a train or a motor
which is carrying the couple to a distant dwelling-place. The bride,
too, has up-to-date ideas. She wants to make a sensation like Lady
Dunfunkus Macgregor’s daughter, a description of whose marriage she has
just read in the _Daily Mail_, or like Miss Gwendolen Fitzwilliam in
the current number of the _Family Journal_. Her dress and her doings,
and all the wedding festivities must as far as possible be modelled
on a fashionable pattern, till finally, modern conventionalities and
not ancient customs rule the day. Two or three years ago the _Weekly
News_ of a very small town in Herefordshire was sent to me in order
that I might read therein an account of a village wedding in which I
was interested because I had known the bride’s parents all my life.
Her father was the village blacksmith, and sexton of the parish, as
his father, and grandfather, and great-grandfather had been before
him. Here was described how the bride wore a ‘gown’, and how her
mother ‘held a reception in a marquee’, and how the bride changed
into her ‘travelling costume’, and how ‘the happy couple’ then ‘took
their departure in a motor-car’, to ‘spend the honeymoon’ somewhere at
the seaside. Indeed, from the newspaper report it might have been a
fashionable ‘Society’ wedding, except for one recorded detail: in the
list of wedding presents it appeared that the bridegroom’s father had
bestowed on the happy couple ‘a pig’! I am glad to say that the young
people did not continue to live up to the style of their wedding, and
the bride has since often spoken of the pig as the most valuable of
all their wedding presents, for within a year this exemplary animal
presented them with no less than twenty-eight robust and healthy
piglings!
[Sidenote: _Names for publishing the Banns_]
The usual preliminaries to a wedding, namely, the giving in of the
banns of marriage, and the publishing of the same in church, can be very
variously expressed in dialect speech, for example: to put in the cries
(Sc.), or t’spurrins (Yks.), or the askings (Lan.); or to put up the
sibbritts (Chs. e.An.), or sibberidge, cp. O.E. _sibbrǣden_,
relationship; to be asked in church (gen. dial.); to be asked out (gen.
dial.), i.e. to have the banns published for the last time; to be called
in church (Lin.), or called home (Wil. Dor.); to be church-bawled
(Sus.); to be prayed for (e.An.); to be shouted (Lan.); to be spurred
(Yks. Lan. Der. Lin. Wil.). The word _spur_ in this sense is from O.E.
_spyrian_, to investigate, inquire into, but popular etymology has
connected it with the ordinary literary English substantive _spur_.
Hence the jocular remark when a person has been once asked in church:
Why, thoo’s gotten one spur on thee! In many villages (Lin. Hnt. Rut.)
it is customary to ring what is called the _Spur-peal_, either at the
close of the morning service, or in the evening of the Sunday when the
banns are published for the first time. Formerly in parts of Wiltshire a
man whose banns had been published for the first time was said to have:
vallen plump out o’ the pulpit laas’ Zunday, and he was asked how his
shoulder was, since it had been put out o’ one side. Parallel to this is
the remark: He’s gotten broken-ribbed to-day (Lin.); and further, there
are the expressions: to fall over the desk (w.Cy.); and to be thrown
over the balk (n.Cy.), _balk_ here signifying the rood-beam dividing the
chancel of a church from the nave. If after the banns have been
published the marriage does not take place, the deserted one is said to
hang over the balk; or, to be hung in the bell-ropes (Chs. Der. Wor.).
Tradition in Sussex says that if a man goes to church to hear his banns
read, his children will be born deaf and dumb. If a man withdraws his
banns after they have been given in, his projected marriage is spoken of
as a _rue-bargain_ (Lan.). Them at’s e’ a horry to wed gen’lins eats
rew-pie afoore thaay’ve been married a year is a Lincolnshire way of
saying: Marry in haste and repent at leisure. To get married is: to tie
a knot wi the tongue, at yan cannot louze wi’ yan’s teeth (Yks. Nhp.).
Formerly in Scotland and the north of England it was not uncommon for
the wedding-guests to contribute either in money or in kind to the
expenses of the marriage entertainment. Such a wedding was called a
_bidden-wedding_ (Cum. Wm. Lan.), _bride-wain_ (n.Cy.), or
_penny-wedding_ (Sc.). In Lancashire, when the couple to be married were
of the very poor, it was once customary for the friends to assemble on
the wedding-day, and build for them a house of clay and wood, termed
_post and petrel_; or _wattle and daub_. The relations provided a few
articles of necessary furniture, and when the _clay bigging_ was
completed the day was concluded with music and dancing.
[Sidenote: _Lucky and Unlucky Days for Weddings_]
In fixing the date of the wedding care must be taken to note on which
day of the week it falls, for each day of the week is supposed to have
its special influence on the future life of the wedded pair:
Monday for wealth,
Tuesday for health,
Wednesday is the best day of all,
Thursday for crosses,
Friday for losses,
Saturday no luck at all.
Leap year is looked upon as a lucky year for marriage: Happy they’ll
be that wed and wive Within leap year; they’re sure to thrive (Yks.).
Sunshine on the wedding-day is always a fortunate omen, for: Happy is
the bride that the sun shines on. It is very unlucky for the bride to
wear green at her wedding (Shr. Yks.), even in any part of her
clothing--Green and white, Forsaken quite--but opinions differ as to
blue for the colour of the wedding dress: Deean’t o’ Friday buy yer
ring, O’ Friday deean’t put t’spurrings in, Deean’t wed o’ Friday. Think
o’ this, Nowther blue ner green mun match her dhriss (Yks.); If dressed
in blue, She’s sure to rue (Yks.). On the other hand, in certain parts
of the country blue is a favourite colour for the wedding attire (Shr.).
The most lucky combination is to wear: Something old, and something new,
Something borrowed, and something blue. The something borrowed should if
possible have been previously worn by a bride at her wedding. In
Devonshire a bride is supposed to further her chances of prosperity by
carrying with her to church a few sprigs of rue, and of rosemary, and a
little garlic in her pocket.
[Sidenote: _Omens at Weddings_]
It is a very unlucky omen for a bride on her way to church if a cat or
a toad should meet her on the road; if a raven should hover over her; or
if a dog, a cat, or a hare should run between her and the bridegroom; if
the bridal procession should encounter a funeral; or if a cripple should
cross their path. It is unlucky for a widow to be present at the wedding
(Shr.); or for the clock to strike during the marriage service (Wor.).
When the ceremony is over, whichever of the wedded pair steps first out
of church will be ‘master’ in the home (Brks.). At a recent wedding near
Oxford, the bride’s mother-in-law stood waiting outside the church door
to watch for this important omen, and when she saw her son step out
first, she clapped her hands exultingly, greatly to the discomfiture of
the bride, who had heedlessly missed her opportunity. In parts of
Yorkshire the same superstition is connected with the leaving of the
bride’s old home after the wedding-feast; whichever of the two then
crosses the threshold first, will be the leader in their future life
together. For unmarried members of the wedding party to rub against the
bride or bridegroom is considered lucky, as by so doing they may hope to
catch the infection of matrimony.
Superstitious practices connected with the _first-foot_, such as we have
already noticed at christenings, are also to be found as part of the old
wedding ceremonies. In some districts it was the bride herself, on her
way to church, who carried in her pocket a small parcel of bread and
cheese to give to the first woman or girl she might meet after leaving
the church (Dev.); in others it was a friend who was sent on in front of
the wedding procession with the _kimbly_ (Cor.) to be given to the first
person met on the road to church. In Scotland two people preceded the
procession, one of whom carried a bottle of whisky and a glass, and the
other carried the bread and cheese. A man on horseback or accompanied by
a horse and cart was considered the most lucky _first-foot_.
[Sidenote: _After the Wedding_]
In the north of England, after the marriage service was over, the
bride on leaving the church had to jump or be lifted over the
_parting-stool_, or _petting-stone_ at the churchyard gate, after
which ceremony money was distributed by the bridegroom. In n.Devon
this custom takes the form of _chaining the bride_. Young men stretch
twisted bands of hay, or pieces of rope decorated with ribbons and
flowers, across the gateway. Then the bridegroom scatters handfuls
of small coin, the chain is dropped whilst the holders scramble for
the money, and the bridal party is free to pursue its way home. Money
demanded and forcibly exacted at the church gates from the bridegroom
is known as _ball-money_ (Sc. Nhb. Cum. Chs.), so called because
formerly the money was applied to buying a football for the parish;
_bride-shoe_ (Yks.); and _hen-silver_ (Cum. Wm. Yks. Lan.). Sometimes,
however, the _hen-brass_ is money privately given by the bridegroom
on the evening after the marriage to enable his friends to drink his
health. In Westmorland a gun used to be fired over the house of a
newly-married couple, and the _hen-silver_ was the present of money
given to the firing party to drink to the future health and good luck
of the pair. A wedding at which no _ball-money_ is distributed is
contemptuously termed a _buttermilk wedding_ (Chs.). On the way home
from church the bridegroom usually threw coppers to be scrambled for by
the children in the crowd; guns loaded with feathers were fired as a
sign of rejoicing (Yks.); and friends came out to meet the bridal party
bearing pots of warm ale sweetened and spiced, known as _hot pots_
(n.Cy.). In Cheshire it is still customary to ornament the approach to
the bride’s home with sand spread in patterns. The patterns are made by
trickling silver sand through the fingers, or through a large funnel.
Wreaths and floral emblems are thus traced out, and sometimes mottoes
are written, such as: Long may they live and happy may they be; Blest
with contentment to all eternity.
[Sidenote: _Wedding Sports_]
Among the ancient wedding sports was the _riding for the kail_ (Sc.
n.Cy.), which took place when the bride was on her way home. When the
party was nearing the future home of the couple, the unmarried men set
off to ride or run at full speed to the house, and whoever reached it
first was said to _win the kail_, or _keal_. The idea was that the
winner of the _kail_ would be the first to enter the married state,
_kail_ being the same word as _cale_, a turn in rotation. Some of the
accounts of this sport would however seem to show that in some places
the _kail_ meant a dish of spiced broth given as a prize to the winner
of the race. The race for the bride’s garter (Yks.) was formerly a very
popular wedding sport, and it continued in practice as late as the last
decade of the nineteenth century. The race was run from the churchyard
gate to the _bride-door_, where the winner claimed the privilege of
removing the prize himself as the bride crossed the threshold of her
home. It was valued as a potent love-charm, and was given by the winner
to his sweetheart: to binnd his luv. Later a ribbon or a handkerchief
was substituted for the bridal garter (Dur. Cum. Yks.).
The ceremony of _throwing the bride-cake_ existed in various forms in
Scotland and the northern counties of England. When the bride returned
from church, she was met on the doorstep and presented with a thin
currant cake on a plate, or it might be shortbread or oat-cake. Some of
this cake was then thrown over her head, or more commonly it was broken
over her head by the bridegroom. In cases where the cake was thrown over
the bride’s head, the plate was not infrequently thrown along with it.
In Scotland the cake provided was known as the _infar-cake_, cp. O.E.
_infær_, an entrance. The custom is not yet extinct in Scotland, for I
was told by an eye-witness that at a fashionable Scotch wedding only two
or three years ago, the bride’s mother-in-law broke a cake of shortbread
over the bride’s head on her return from church. The following is a
Yorkshire rhyme which accompanies the usual throwing of slippers after a
newly-married couple:
A weddin’ a-woo,
A clog an’ a shoe,
A pot full o’ porridge, an’ away they go!
A curious saying applied to an elder brother or sister left behind
when a younger member of the family is married, is that he or she must
dance in the pig-trough (Shr. Suf.), or in the half-peck (Yks.), or
dance at the wedding in his (or her) stocking-feet (Shr.).
[Sidenote: _Riding the Stang_]
In olden days, when a marriage resulted in conjugal infelicity, and
the husband became a wife-beater, popular disapproval was expressed
by a method of punishing the offender known as Riding the Stang. This
custom with slight variations and under different names--such as:
Rantipole-riding, Skimmington-riding, or simply Riding--was once common
practically throughout England, and in many parts of Scotland. Cases
where it has been kept up in practice have been recorded as late as
the year 1896. The delinquent was caught and tied fast to a _stang_ or
pole, and carried round the village in the midst of a jeering crowd;
or he was represented by a straw effigy borne on a ladder, or drawn in
a cart for three successive nights, accompanied by horn-blowing and
shouting. When the procession reached the man’s house, a long _nominy_
or doggerel recounting his offences was recited, the verses varying
in different localities. A Lincolnshire _nominy_ runs: He banged her
wi’ stick, He banged her wi’ steän, He teeak op his naefe [fist], An’
he knocked her doon. With a ran, tan, tan, &c. On the third night the
effigy was burned in the street or on the village green. Sometimes
instead of an effigy, two men, one of them dressed in female attire,
rode in the cart, giving a dialogue representation of the quarrel,
and an imitation of the final beating. In some places the culprit
was merely serenaded with rough singing, and the noise of beating on
pots and pans. This ceremony was called Randanning, or Rough Music,
and is closely allied to Stang-riding, cp. ‘_Charivaris de poelles_.
The carting of an infamous person, graced with the harmony of tinging
kettles, and frying-pan Musick,’ Cotgrave.
[Sidenote: _Death Superstitions_]
According to a popular superstition once prevalent in many parts of
England, dying persons could not pass away peacefully if there were any
feathers of game-birds or pigeons in the bed on which they lay.
Instances have been recorded where some such feathers have been placed
in a small bag, and thrust under the pillow of a dying man to hold him
in life until the arrival of some expected relation; and further,
instances where, out of pure kindness, a sufferer at the point of death
has been removed from his bed, and laid on the floor to die ‘nat’rally’.
Formerly, when the moment of death was unmistakably nigh at hand, it was
customary to throw open all the doors and windows, so that nothing
should hinder the flight of the departing spirit. I myself can remember
what seemed to be a remnant of this superstitious observance in a
country parish in Herefordshire about twenty-five years ago. The widow
of an old farmer had just died, and her daughter told my father that it
was well that there was a bolt to the front door, for that the key must
not be turned in the lock whilst the body lay in the house. This we took
to be a preservation of the letter of the old law. In Yorkshire there
exists an idea that the door must not be locked for seven years after a
death in the house.
[Sidenote: _Death Customs_]
Immediately after the death had taken place, the fire in the room was
extinguished, and the looking-glass either covered up, or turned with
its face to the wall (Yks. Shr.). In Scotland a piece of iron used to be
thrust into all the eatables in the house, butter, cheese, meat, &c., in
order--as it was said--to prevent death from entering them. When the
corpse had been duly laid out, or _streeked_ (Sc. n.Cy.), a plate of
salt was placed on the breast (Sc. Nhb. Shr. Dev.), formerly with the
avowed object of driving evil spirits away, but towards the latter end
of the nineteenth century, where the custom was still in use, the reason
given was that: it prevents the body from swelling. This placing of a
plate of salt on the corpse had been part of the performances of the old
_sin-eater_ (Sc. Hrf. Cth.), a person who was called in when any one
died, to eat the sins of the deceased. He placed a plate of salt and a
plate of bread on the breast of the corpse, and muttered certain
incantations, after which he ate the contents of the plates, thereby
taking upon himself the sins of the dead person, which would otherwise
have kept his ghost hovering round his relations on earth. In
Northumberland it was customary to double the thumbs of the deceased
within the hand, to avert evil spirits. The candles kept burning round
the corpse were termed in parts of Lincolnshire _ghost-candles_, because
they were supposed to ward off ghosts.
The customs connected with the tolling of the Passing Bell vary
somewhat in detail in different localities, but they are substantially
the same. After the bell has tolled for some minutes there is a pause,
and then follow the _tellers_, thrice three successive strokes for a
man, twice three for a woman, and three strokes for a child. It has
been suggested that the old saying: nine tailors make a man, is a
corruption of nine tellers mark a man.
The ceremony of holding watch over the dead between the time of death
and burial was called the _wake_ or _lyke-wake_ in Ireland, Scotland,
and the north of England. The relatives and neighbours of the deceased
assembled at the house, and spent the night in the room with the corpse,
singing Psalms and dirges, chatting, telling stories, praising the
virtues of the departed, eating and drinking. This gathering usually
took place either the evening after the death, or the night before the
funeral.
In due course somebody went round to invite friends and neighbours to
be present at the funeral. This was called _bidding_ (n.Cy. Stf. Der.),
_lathing_ (n.Cy.), or _sperring_ (Lan.), terms which are still in
use--e.g. Awm gooin’ a sperrin’, He’s gone a laithin’ o’ th’neeburs to
th’berrin’, Ah mun gan an’ see t’last on him, ah’s bid--though the
custom of sending a _bidder_ wearing a black silk scarf has long been
discontinued. In many places in the Lake district, two persons from
every house within a prescribed area were invited to the funeral.
Formerly the _bidder_ presented a sprig of rosemary to each invited
guest, and the latter was expected to carry it with him to the funeral
(Lan.). In Shropshire these sprigs were distributed to the mourners just
before the procession left the house. At the conclusion of the burial
service each mourner cast his rosemary into the open grave. In
s.Pembrokeshire a woman walked in front of the funeral procession
strewing sprigs of rosemary and box along the road--‘There’s rosemary,
that’s for remembrance.’
[Sidenote: _Funeral Cakes_]
A custom still practised in Yorkshire and formerly prevalent in many
other English counties, and also in parts of Wales, is that of
distributing _burying biscuits_, or _funeral cakes_, small oblong sponge
biscuits, which some think were originally intended to represent a
coffin. As each mourner arrives, he or she is presented with a biscuit
and a memorial card. Sometimes this is done by two women who are called
_servers_ (n.Yks.). In the Midlands the biscuits were folded up each in
white paper sealed with black wax, and so handed round to every guest;
in this form, too, they were sent out to any relations or intimate
friends not present at the funeral, just as wedding-cake is sent now.
Two generations ago this practice was commonly observed in middle class
families, as well as among the poorer folk. When my great-uncle--a
well-known Evangelical clergyman in Birmingham--died some twenty-five
years ago, his executors found among his papers a packet, yellow with
age, containing what had once been a funeral sponge biscuit. Together
with the _funeral cakes_ spiced ale used sometimes to be served, in a
tankard of silver or pewter; but in later, more degenerate days glasses
of spirits and water replaced the tankard of ale. Meanwhile the coffin
was still kept open, that one and all might take a last look at the
corpse before the time came for _lifting_ (Sc. n.Cy.), when the coffin
must be closed. Formerly in Northumberland the _lifting_ of the corpse
was the signal for the outburst of lamentation known as _keening_ (Sc.
Irel. Nhb.), a dismal concerted cry raised by the assembled mourners.
[Sidenote: _Funeral Rites_]
It is still a custom in some Midland counties for little girls in
white dresses and black sashes to act as bearers at the funeral of an
infant or very young child of their own sex, and for boys to carry
baby boys. The coffin is supported by white handkerchiefs or towels
passed underneath and held on each side by the young bearers. The
_funeral garland_ (n.Cy. Der. Lin. Shr. Hmp.), which marked the burial
of a young unmarried woman, has now long since become obsolete. This
_garland_ consisted of a coronal or wreath of ribbons, or flowers cut
out in white paper, with a white glove suspended in the centre, and
it was borne in front of the coffin, or upon it, to the grave, and
afterwards suspended in the church. According to a popular belief the
passage of a funeral over any ground establishes a right of way. Rain
at a funeral is a good sign, for: Happy is the corpse that the rain
rains on.
A beautiful old custom, well known in Shropshire in olden days, and
kept up certainly within living memory, is that of _ringing the dead
home_. When the funeral procession came in sight of the church, the
bell ceased tolling, and a peal was rung, as if to welcome the body to
its last resting-place.
There is a general feeling in country parishes against burial on the
north side of the church. The south side is considered the holiest
portion of the churchyard, where the cross stands, if such there be. In
a small parish, where there are few interments, the north side of the
churchyard may be quite empty. This points the moral contained in the
phrase: Thaay bury them as kills thersens wi’ hard wark o’ th’no’th side
o’ th’chech, applied to persons who complain unwarrantably of hard
work.
After the burial came the funeral feast held in the house where the
deceased had lived, or provided at the village inn. In some places if
the family was poor, it would be a _pay-berring_ (Yks.), and each of the
invited guests would give some small contribution towards the expenses.
To provide a handsome entertainment on these occasions was looked upon
as a mark of fitting respect for the dead: Ah’ve nivver been at sike a
sitting-doon i’ mah leyfe; ther war nowt bud tea-cakes, an’ badly
buttered at that. Noo ah’ve sahded fahve o’ my awn, bud thank the Lord,
ah buried ’em all wi’ ham. It is on record that at the funeral of a
farmer who died near Whitby in 1760, meat and drink were provided as
follows: ‘110 dozen penny loaves, 9 large hams, 8 legs of veal, 20 stone
of beef (14 lbs. to the stone), 16 stone of mutton, 15 stone of Cheshire
cheese, and 30 ankers of ale; besides what was distributed to 1,000 poor
people who had 6_d._ each in money.’
[Sidenote: _Telling the Bees_]
One of the most interesting of all the ceremonies connected with
funerals is the superstitious practice known as _telling the bees_,
once common throughout the greater part of England. To _tell the bees_
is to inform them of the occurrence of the death of the head of the
house, or of some member of the family. If this is not done, they are
supposed to leave their hives and never return, or else they all die.
The right time for making the communication is either just before the
funeral leaves the house, or else at the moment when the procession
is starting. On the Welsh Border people say it must be made in the
middle of the night. The form of words used varies in different parts
of the country, but they must always be whispered words, or the bees
may take offence. These are some of the recognized formulae: The master
is dead; Your friend’s gone; The poor maister’s dead, but yo mun work
fur me; Bees, bees, bees, your master is dead, and you must work for
----, naming the future owner. This is accompanied in some instances by
three taps on the hive. The hives are ‘put into mourning’ by attaching
to them a piece of black crape. In some places it was customary to
give the bees a piece of funeral cake; and elsewhere, small portions
of every item of the funeral feast were collected in a saucer and put
in front of the hive. In Devonshire the popular belief was that if the
bees were not told of the death in the family, some other member of
the household would die before the expiration of the year. A writer
in _Lloyd’s Weekly News_, July 3, 1910, speaks of the superstition of
telling the bees as still extant; and at about the same date a girl in
Oxford told me that an uncle of hers--yet living--had lost all his bees
by neglecting to tell them of the death of his mother.
[Sidenote: _A Month’s Mind_]
In some districts is found the observance of the _month’s end_ (Hrf.
w.Cy. Wales), a certain Sunday after the funeral when the mourners
attend church. A trace of an old religious custom belonging also to the
days subsequent to the funeral has been crystallized in the phrase: to
have a month’s mind to anything (Chs. Midl. e.An. I.W. Som. Cor.). This
alludes to a pre-Reformation practice of repeating one or more masses at
the end of a month after death for the repose of a departed soul. In the
Churchwardens’ accounts of Abingdon, Berkshire, occurs the following,
among other similar entries: ‘1556. Receyved att the buryall and
monethe’s mynde of Geo. Chynche xxii_d_.’ The phrase, however, long ago
acquired the meaning it bears to-day, cp.: ‘I see you have a month’s
mind to them,’ Shaks. _Two Gent._ I. ii. 137; ‘I have a month’s mind to
be doing as much,’ Jervas, _Don Quixote_; ‘The King [Henry VII] had more
than a moneth’s mind ... to procure the pope to canonize Henry VI for a
saint,’ Fuller, _Church Hist._ Bk. IV. 23; I’d a month’s mind to a
knock’d un down (I.W.).