AN old lady, in a high drawing-room, had had her chair moved close to the
fire, where she sat knitting and warming her knees. She was dressed in
deep mourning; her face had a faded nobleness, tempered, however, by the
somewhat illiberal compression assumed by her lips in obedience to
something that was passing in her mind. She was far from the lamp, but
though her eyes were fixed upon her active needles she was not looking at
them. What she really saw was quite another train of affairs. The room
was spacious and dim; the thick London fog had oozed into it even through
its superior defences. It was full of dusky, massive, valuable things.
The old lady sat motionless save for the regularity of her clicking
needles, which seemed as personal to her and as expressive as prolonged
fingers. If she was thinking something out, she was thinking it
thoroughly.
When she looked up, on the entrance of a girl of twenty, it might have
been guessed that the appearance of this young lady was not an
interruption of her meditation, but rather a contribution to it. The
young lady, who was charming to behold, was also in deep mourning, which
had a freshness, if mourning can be fresh, an air of having been lately
put on. She went straight to the bell beside the chimney-piece and
pulled it, while in her other hand she held a sealed and directed letter.
Her companion glanced in silence at the letter; then she looked still
harder at her work. The girl hovered near the fireplace, without
speaking, and after a due, a dignified interval the butler appeared in
response to the bell. The time had been sufficient to make the silence
between the ladies seem long. The younger one asked the butler to see
that her letter should be posted; and after he had gone out she moved
vaguely about the room, as if to give her grandmother—for such was the
elder personage—a chance to begin a colloquy of which she herself
preferred not to strike the first note. As equally with herself her
companion was on the face of it capable of holding out, the tension,
though it was already late in the evening, might have lasted long. But
the old lady after a little appeared to recognise, a trifle ungraciously,
the girl’s superior resources.
“Have you written to your mother?”
“Yes, but only a few lines, to tell her I shall come and see her in the
morning.”
“Is that all you’ve got to say?” asked the grandmother.
“I don’t quite know what you want me to say.”
“I want you to say that you’ve made up your mind.”
“Yes, I’ve done that, granny.”
“You intend to respect your father’s wishes?”
“It depends upon what you mean by respecting them. I do justice to the
feelings by which they were dictated.”
“What do you mean by justice?” the old lady retorted.
The girl was silent a moment; then she said: “You’ll see my idea of it.”
“I see it already! You’ll go and live with her.”
“I shall talk the situation over with her to-morrow and tell her that I
think that will be best.”
“Best for her, no doubt!”
“What’s best for her is best for me.”
“And for your brother and sister?” As the girl made no reply to this her
grandmother went on: “What’s best for them is that you should acknowledge
some responsibility in regard to them and, considering how young they
are, try and do something for them.”
“They must do as I’ve done—they must act for themselves. They have their
means now, and they’re free.”
“Free? They’re mere children.”
“Let me remind you that Eric is older than I.”
“He doesn’t like his mother,” said the old lady, as if that were an
answer.
“I never said he did. And she adores him.”
“Oh, your mother’s adorations!”
“Don’t abuse her now,” the girl rejoined, after a pause.
The old lady forbore to abuse her, but she made up for it the next moment
by saying: “It will be dreadful for Edith.”
“What will be dreadful?”
“Your desertion of her.”
“The desertion’s on her side.”
“Her consideration for her father does her honour.”
“Of course I’m a brute, _n’en parlons plus_,” said the girl. “We must go
our respective ways,” she added, in a tone of extreme wisdom and
philosophy.
Her grandmother straightened out her knitting and began to roll it up.
“Be so good as to ring for my maid,” she said, after a minute. The young
lady rang, and there was another wait and another conscious hush. Before
the maid came her mistress remarked: “Of course then you’ll not come to
_me_, you know.”
“What do you mean by ‘coming’ to you?”
“I can’t receive you on that footing.”
“She’ll not come _with_ me, if you mean that.”
“I don’t mean that,” said the old lady, getting up as her maid came in.
This attendant took her work from her, gave her an arm and helped her out
of the room, while Rose Tramore, standing before the fire and looking
into it, faced the idea that her grandmother’s door would now under all
circumstances be closed to her. She lost no time however in brooding
over this anomaly: it only added energy to her determination to act. All
she could do to-night was to go to bed, for she felt utterly weary. She
had been living, in imagination, in a prospective struggle, and it had
left her as exhausted as a real fight. Moreover this was the culmination
of a crisis, of weeks of suspense, of a long, hard strain. Her father
had been laid in his grave five days before, and that morning his will
had been read. In the afternoon she had got Edith off to St. Leonard’s
with their aunt Julia, and then she had had a wretched talk with Eric.
Lastly, she had made up her mind to act in opposition to the formidable
will, to a clause which embodied if not exactly a provision, a
recommendation singularly emphatic. She went to bed and slept the sleep
of the just.
“Oh, my dear, how charming! I must take another house!” It was in these
words that her mother responded to the announcement Rose had just
formally made and with which she had vaguely expected to produce a
certain dignity of effect. In the way of emotion there was apparently no
effect at all, and the girl was wise enough to know that this was not
simply on account of the general line of non-allusion taken by the
extremely pretty woman before her, who looked like her elder sister.
Mrs. Tramore had never manifested, to her daughter, the slightest
consciousness that her position was peculiar; but the recollection of
something more than that fine policy was required to explain such a
failure, to appreciate Rose’s sacrifice. It was simply a fresh reminder
that she had never appreciated anything, that she was nothing but a
tinted and stippled surface. Her situation was peculiar indeed. She had
been the heroine of a scandal which had grown dim only because, in the
eyes of the London world, it paled in the lurid light of the
contemporaneous. That attention had been fixed on it for several days,
fifteen years before; there had been a high relish of the vivid evidence
as to his wife’s misconduct with which, in the divorce-court, Charles
Tramore had judged well to regale a cynical public. The case was
pronounced awfully bad, and he obtained his decree. The folly of the
wife had been inconceivable, in spite of other examples: she had quitted
her children, she had followed the “other fellow” abroad. The other
fellow hadn’t married her, not having had time: he had lost his life in
the Mediterranean by the capsizing of a boat, before the prohibitory term
had expired.
Mrs. Tramore had striven to extract from this accident something of the
austerity of widowhood; but her mourning only made her deviation more
public, she was a widow whose husband was awkwardly alive. She had not
prowled about the Continent on the classic lines; she had come back to
London to take her chance. But London would give her no chance, would
have nothing to say to her; as many persons had remarked, you could never
tell how London would behave. It would not receive Mrs. Tramore again on
any terms, and when she was spoken of, which now was not often, it was
inveterately said of her that she went nowhere. Apparently she had not
the qualities for which London compounds; though in the cases in which it
does compound you may often wonder what these qualities are. She had not
at any rate been successful: her lover was dead, her husband was liked
and her children were pitied, for in payment for a topic London will
parenthetically pity. It was thought interesting and magnanimous that
Charles Tramore had not married again. The disadvantage to his children
of the miserable story was thus left uncorrected, and this, rather oddly,
was counted as _his_ sacrifice. His mother, whose arrangements were
elaborate, looked after them a great deal, and they enjoyed a mixture of
laxity and discipline under the roof of their aunt, Miss Tramore, who was
independent, having, for reasons that the two ladies had exhaustively
discussed, determined to lead her own life. She had set up a home at St.
Leonard’s, and that contracted shore had played a considerable part in
the upbringing of the little Tramores. They knew about their mother, as
the phrase was, but they didn’t know her; which was naturally deemed more
pathetic for them than for her. She had a house in Chester Square and an
income and a victoria—it served all purposes, as she never went out in
the evening—and flowers on her window-sills, and a remarkable appearance
of youth. The income was supposed to be in part the result of a bequest
from the man for whose sake she had committed the error of her life, and
in the appearance of youth there was a slightly impertinent implication
that it was a sort of afterglow of the same connection.
Her children, as they grew older, fortunately showed signs of some
individuality of disposition. Edith, the second girl, clung to her aunt
Julia; Eric, the son, clung frantically to polo; while Rose, the elder
daughter, appeared to cling mainly to herself. Collectively, of course,
they clung to their father, whose attitude in the family group, however,
was casual and intermittent. He was charming and vague; he was like a
clever actor who often didn’t come to rehearsal. Fortune, which but for
that one stroke had been generous to him, had provided him with deputies
and trouble-takers, as well as with whimsical opinions, and a reputation
for excellent taste, and whist at his club, and perpetual cigars on
morocco sofas, and a beautiful absence of purpose. Nature had thrown in
a remarkably fine hand, which he sometimes passed over his children’s
heads when they were glossy from the nursery brush. On Rose’s eighteenth
birthday he said to her that she might go to see her mother, on condition
that her visits should be limited to an hour each time and to four in the
year. She was to go alone; the other children were not included in the
arrangement. This was the result of a visit that he himself had paid his
repudiated wife at her urgent request, their only encounter during the
fifteen years. The girl knew as much as this from her aunt Julia, who
was full of tell-tale secrecies. She availed herself eagerly of the
license, and in course of the period that elapsed before her father’s
death she spent with Mrs. Tramore exactly eight hours by the watch. Her
father, who was as inconsistent and disappointing as he was amiable,
spoke to her of her mother only once afterwards. This occasion had been
the sequel of her first visit, and he had made no use of it to ask what
she thought of the personality in Chester Square or how she liked it. He
had only said “Did she take you out?” and when Rose answered “Yes, she
put me straight into a carriage and drove me up and down Bond Street,”
had rejoined sharply “See that that never occurs again.” It never did,
but once was enough, every one they knew having happened to be in Bond
Street at that particular hour.
After this the periodical interview took place in private, in Mrs.
Tramore’s beautiful little wasted drawing-room. Rose knew that, rare as
these occasions were, her mother would not have kept her “all to herself”
had there been anybody she could have shown her to. But in the poor
lady’s social void there was no one; she had after all her own
correctness and she consistently preferred isolation to inferior
contacts. So her daughter was subjected only to the maternal; it was not
necessary to be definite in qualifying that. The girl had by this time a
collection of ideas, gathered by impenetrable processes; she had tasted,
in the ostracism of her ambiguous parent, of the acrid fruit of the tree
of knowledge. She not only had an approximate vision of what every one
had done, but she had a private judgment for each case. She had a
particular vision of her father, which did not interfere with his being
dear to her, but which was directly concerned in her resolution, after
his death, to do the special thing he had expressed the wish she should
not do. In the general estimate her grandmother and her grandmother’s
money had their place, and the strong probability that any enjoyment of
the latter commodity would now be withheld from her. It included Edith’s
marked inclination to receive the law, and doubtless eventually a more
substantial memento, from Miss Tramore, and opened the question whether
her own course might not contribute to make her sister’s appear
heartless. The answer to this question however would depend on the
success that might attend her own, which would very possibly be small.
Eric’s attitude was eminently simple; he didn’t care to know people who
didn’t know _his_ people. If his mother should ever get back into
society perhaps he would take her up. Rose Tramore had decided to do
what she could to bring this consummation about; and strangely enough—so
mixed were her superstitions and her heresies—a large part of her motive
lay in the value she attached to such a consecration.
Of her mother intrinsically she thought very little now, and if her eyes
were fixed on a special achievement it was much more for the sake of that
achievement and to satisfy a latent energy that was in her than because
her heart was wrung by this sufferer. Her heart had not been wrung at
all, though she had quite held it out for the experience. Her purpose
was a pious game, but it was still essentially a game. Among the ideas I
have mentioned she had her idea of triumph. She had caught the
inevitable note, the pitch, on her very first visit to Chester Square.
She had arrived there in intense excitement, and her excitement was left
on her hands in a manner that reminded her of a difficult air she had
once heard sung at the opera when no one applauded the performer. That
flatness had made her sick, and so did this, in another way. A part of
her agitation proceeded from the fact that her aunt Julia had told her,
in the manner of a burst of confidence, something she was not to repeat,
that she was in appearance the very image of the lady in Chester Square.
The motive that prompted this declaration was between aunt Julia and her
conscience; but it was a great emotion to the girl to find her
entertainer so beautiful. She was tall and exquisitely slim; she had
hair more exactly to Rose Tramore’s taste than any other she had ever
seen, even to every detail in the way it was dressed, and a complexion
and a figure of the kind that are always spoken of as “lovely.” Her eyes
were irresistible, and so were her clothes, though the clothes were
perhaps a little more precisely the right thing than the eyes. Her
appearance was marked to her daughter’s sense by the highest distinction;
though it may be mentioned that this had never been the opinion of all
the world. It was a revelation to Rose that she herself might look a
little like that. She knew however that aunt Julia had not seen her
deposed sister-in-law for a long time, and she had a general impression
that Mrs. Tramore was to-day a more complete production—for instance as
regarded her air of youth—than she had ever been. There was no
excitement on her side—that was all her visitor’s; there was no
emotion—that was excluded by the plan, to say nothing of conditions more
primal. Rose had from the first a glimpse of her mother’s plan. It was
to mention nothing and imply nothing, neither to acknowledge, to explain
nor to extenuate. She would leave everything to her child; with her
child she was secure. She only wanted to get back into society; she
would leave even that to her child, whom she treated not as a high-strung
and heroic daughter, a creature of exaltation, of devotion, but as a new,
charming, clever, useful friend, a little younger than herself. Already
on that first day she had talked about dressmakers. Of course, poor
thing, it was to be remembered that in her circumstances there were not
many things she _could_ talk about. “She wants to go out again; that’s
the only thing in the wide world she wants,” Rose had promptly,
compendiously said to herself. There had been a sequel to this
observation, uttered, in intense engrossment, in her own room half an
hour before she had, on the important evening, made known her decision to
her grandmother: “Then I’ll _take_ her out!”
“She’ll drag you down, she’ll drag you down!” Julia Tramore permitted
herself to remark to her niece, the next day, in a tone of feverish
prophecy.
As the girl’s own theory was that all the dragging there might be would
be upward, and moreover administered by herself, she could look at her
aunt with a cold and inscrutable eye.
“Very well, then, I shall be out of your sight, from the pinnacle you
occupy, and I sha’n’t trouble you.”
“Do you reproach me for my disinterested exertions, for the way I’ve
toiled over you, the way I’ve lived for you?” Miss Tramore demanded.
“Don’t reproach _me_ for being kind to my mother and I won’t reproach you
for anything.”
“She’ll keep you out of everything—she’ll make you miss everything,” Miss
Tramore continued.
“Then she’ll make me miss a great deal that’s odious,” said the girl.
“You’re too young for such extravagances,” her aunt declared.
“And yet Edith, who is younger than I, seems to be too old for them: how
do you arrange that? My mother’s society will make me older,” Rose
replied.
“Don’t speak to me of your mother; you _have_ no mother.”
“Then if I’m an orphan I must settle things for myself.”
“Do you justify her, do you approve of her?” cried Miss Tramore, who was
inferior to her niece in capacity for retort and whose limitations made
the girl appear pert.
Rose looked at her a moment in silence; then she said, turning away: “I
think she’s charming.”
“And do you propose to become charming in the same manner?”
“Her manner is perfect; it would be an excellent model. But I can’t
discuss my mother with you.”
“You’ll have to discuss her with some other people!” Miss Tramore
proclaimed, going out of the room.
Rose wondered whether this were a general or a particular vaticination.
There was something her aunt might have meant by it, but her aunt rarely
meant the best thing she might have meant. Miss Tramore had come up from
St. Leonard’s in response to a telegram from her own parent, for an
occasion like the present brought with it, for a few hours, a certain
relaxation of their dissent. “Do what you can to stop her,” the old lady
had said; but her daughter found that the most she could do was not much.
They both had a baffled sense that Rose had thought the question out a
good deal further than they; and this was particularly irritating to Mrs.
Tramore, as consciously the cleverer of the two. A question thought out
as far as _she_ could think it had always appeared to her to have
performed its human uses; she had never encountered a ghost emerging from
that extinction. Their great contention was that Rose would cut herself
off; and certainly if she wasn’t afraid of that she wasn’t afraid of
anything. Julia Tramore could only tell her mother how little the girl
was afraid. She was already prepared to leave the house, taking with her
the possessions, or her share of them, that had accumulated there during
her father’s illness. There had been a going and coming of her maid, a
thumping about of boxes, an ordering of four-wheelers; it appeared to old
Mrs. Tramore that something of the objectionableness, the indecency, of
her granddaughter’s prospective connection had already gathered about the
place. It was a violation of the decorum of bereavement which was still
fresh there, and from the indignant gloom of the mistress of the house
you might have inferred not so much that the daughter was about to depart
as that the mother was about to arrive. There had been no conversation
on the dreadful subject at luncheon; for at luncheon at Mrs. Tramore’s
(her son never came to it) there were always, even after funerals and
other miseries, stray guests of both sexes whose policy it was to be
cheerful and superficial. Rose had sat down as if nothing had
happened—nothing worse, that is, than her father’s death; but no one had
spoken of anything that any one else was thinking of.
Before she left the house a servant brought her a message from her
grandmother—the old lady desired to see her in the drawing-room. She had
on her bonnet, and she went down as if she were about to step into her
cab. Mrs. Tramore sat there with her eternal knitting, from which she
forebore even to raise her eyes as, after a silence that seemed to
express the fulness of her reprobation, while Rose stood motionless, she
began: “I wonder if you really understand what you’re doing.”
“I think so. I’m not so stupid.”
“I never thought you were; but I don’t know what to make of you now.
You’re giving up everything.”
The girl was tempted to inquire whether her grandmother called herself
“everything”; but she checked this question, answering instead that she
knew she was giving up much.
“You’re taking a step of which you will feel the effect to the end of
your days,” Mrs. Tramore went on.
“In a good conscience, I heartily hope,” said Rose.
“Your father’s conscience was good enough for his mother; it ought to be
good enough for his daughter.”
Rose sat down—she could afford to—as if she wished to be very attentive
and were still accessible to argument. But this demonstration only
ushered in, after a moment, the surprising words “I don’t think papa had
any conscience.”
“What in the name of all that’s unnatural do you mean?” Mrs. Tramore
cried, over her glasses. “The dearest and best creature that ever
lived!”
“He was kind, he had charming impulses, he was delightful. But he never
reflected.”
Mrs. Tramore stared, as if at a language she had never heard, a farrago,
a _galimatias_. Her life was made up of items, but she had never had to
deal, intellectually, with a fine shade. Then while her needles, which
had paused an instant, began to fly again, she rejoined: “Do you know
what you are, my dear? You’re a dreadful little prig. Where do you pick
up such talk?”
“Of course I don’t mean to judge between them,” Rose pursued. “I can
only judge between my mother and myself. Papa couldn’t judge for me.”
And with this she got up.
“One would think you were horrid. I never thought so before.”
“Thank you for that.”
“You’re embarking on a struggle with society,” continued Mrs. Tramore,
indulging in an unusual flight of oratory. “Society will put you in your
place.”
“Hasn’t it too many other things to do?” asked the girl.
This question had an ingenuity which led her grandmother to meet it with
a merely provisional and somewhat sketchy answer. “Your ignorance would
be melancholy if your behaviour were not so insane.”
“Oh, no; I know perfectly what she’ll do!” Rose replied, almost gaily.
“She’ll drag me down.”
“She won’t even do that,” the old lady declared contradictiously.
“She’ll keep you forever in the same dull hole.”
“I shall come and see _you_, granny, when I want something more lively.”
“You may come if you like, but you’ll come no further than the door. If
you leave this house now you don’t enter it again.”
Rose hesitated a moment. “Do you really mean that?”
“You may judge whether I choose such a time to joke.”
“Good-bye, then,” said the girl.
“Good-bye.”
Rose quitted the room successfully enough; but on the other side of the
door, on the landing, she sank into a chair and buried her face in her
hands. She had burst into tears, and she sobbed there for a moment,
trying hard to recover herself, so as to go downstairs without showing
any traces of emotion, passing before the servants and again perhaps
before aunt Julia. Mrs. Tramore was too old to cry; she could only drop
her knitting and, for a long time, sit with her head bowed and her eyes
closed.
Rose had reckoned justly with her aunt Julia; there were no footmen, but
this vigilant virgin was posted at the foot of the stairs. She offered
no challenge however; she only said: “There’s some one in the parlour who
wants to see you.” The girl demanded a name, but Miss Tramore only
mouthed inaudibly and winked and waved. Rose instantly reflected that
there was only one man in the world her aunt would look such deep things
about. “Captain Jay?” her own eyes asked, while Miss Tramore’s were
those of a conspirator: they were, for a moment, the only embarrassed
eyes Rose had encountered that day. They contributed to make aunt
Julia’s further response evasive, after her niece inquired if she had
communicated in advance with this visitor. Miss Tramore merely said that
he had been upstairs with her mother—hadn’t she mentioned it?—and had
been waiting for her. She thought herself acute in not putting the
question of the girl’s seeing him before her as a favour to him or to
herself; she presented it as a duty, and wound up with the proposition:
“It’s not fair to him, it’s not kind, not to let him speak to you before
you go.”
“What does he want to say?” Rose demanded.
“Go in and find out.”
She really knew, for she had found out before; but after standing
uncertain an instant she went in. “The parlour” was the name that had
always been borne by a spacious sitting-room downstairs, an apartment
occupied by her father during his frequent phases of residence in Hill
Street—episodes increasingly frequent after his house in the country had,
in consequence, as Rose perfectly knew, of his spending too much money,
been disposed of at a sacrifice which he always characterised as horrid.
He had been left with the place in Hertfordshire and his mother with the
London house, on the general understanding that they would change about;
but during the last years the community had grown more rigid, mainly at
his mother’s expense. The parlour was full of his memory and his habits
and his things—his books and pictures and _bibelots_, objects that
belonged now to Eric. Rose had sat in it for hours since his death; it
was the place in which she could still be nearest to him. But she felt
far from him as Captain Jay rose erect on her opening the door. This was
a very different presence. He had not liked Captain Jay. She herself
had, but not enough to make a great complication of her father’s
coldness. This afternoon however she foresaw complications. At the very
outset for instance she was not pleased with his having arranged such a
surprise for her with her grandmother and her aunt. It was probably aunt
Julia who had sent for him; her grandmother wouldn’t have done it. It
placed him immediately on their side, and Rose was almost as disappointed
at this as if she had not known it was quite where he would naturally be.
He had never paid her a special visit, but if that was what he wished to
do why shouldn’t he have waited till she should be under her mother’s
roof? She knew the reason, but she had an angry prospect of enjoyment in
making him express it. She liked him enough, after all, if it were
measured by the idea of what she could make him do.
In Bertram Jay the elements were surprisingly mingled; you would have
gone astray, in reading him, if you had counted on finding the
complements of some of his qualities. He would not however have struck
you in the least as incomplete, for in every case in which you didn’t
find the complement you would have found the contradiction. He was in
the Royal Engineers, and was tall, lean and high-shouldered. He looked
every inch a soldier, yet there were people who considered that he had
missed his vocation in not becoming a parson. He took a public interest
in the spiritual life of the army. Other persons still, on closer
observation, would have felt that his most appropriate field was neither
the army nor the church, but simply the world—the social, successful,
worldly world. If he had a sword in one hand and a Bible in the other he
had a Court Guide concealed somewhere about his person. His profile was
hard and handsome, his eyes were both cold and kind, his dark straight
hair was imperturbably smooth and prematurely streaked with grey. There
was nothing in existence that he didn’t take seriously. He had a
first-rate power of work and an ambition as minutely organised as a
German plan of invasion. His only real recreation was to go to church,
but he went to parties when he had time. If he was in love with Rose
Tramore this was distracting to him only in the same sense as his
religion, and it was included in that department of his extremely
sub-divided life. His religion indeed was of an encroaching, annexing
sort. Seen from in front he looked diffident and blank, but he was
capable of exposing himself in a way (to speak only of the paths of
peace) wholly inconsistent with shyness. He had a passion for instance
for open-air speaking, but was not thought on the whole to excel in it
unless he could help himself out with a hymn. In conversation he kept
his eyes on you with a kind of colourless candour, as if he had not
understood what you were saying and, in a fashion that made many people
turn red, waited before answering. This was only because he was
considering their remarks in more relations than they had intended. He
had in his face no expression whatever save the one just mentioned, and
was, in his profession, already very distinguished.
He had seen Rose Tramore for the first time on a Sunday of the previous
March, at a house in the country at which she was staying with her
father, and five weeks later he had made her, by letter, an offer of
marriage. She showed her father the letter of course, and he told her
that it would give him great pleasure that she should send Captain Jay
about his business. “My dear child,” he said, “we must really have some
one who will be better fun than that.” Rose had declined the honour,
very considerately and kindly, but not simply because her father wished
it. She didn’t herself wish to detach this flower from the stem, though
when the young man wrote again, to express the hope that he _might_
hope—so long was he willing to wait—and ask if he might not still
sometimes see her, she answered even more indulgently than at first. She
had shown her father her former letter, but she didn’t show him this one;
she only told him what it contained, submitting to him also that of her
correspondent. Captain Jay moreover wrote to Mr. Tramore, who replied
sociably, but so vaguely that he almost neglected the subject under
discussion—a communication that made poor Bertram ponder long. He could
never get to the bottom of the superficial, and all the proprieties and
conventions of life were profound to him. Fortunately for him old Mrs.
Tramore liked him, he was satisfactory to her long-sightedness; so that a
relation was established under cover of which he still occasionally
presented himself in Hill Street—presented himself nominally to the
mistress of the house. He had had scruples about the veracity of his
visits, but he had disposed of them; he had scruples about so many things
that he had had to invent a general way, to dig a central drain. Julia
Tramore happened to meet him when she came up to town, and she took a
view of him more benevolent than her usual estimate of people encouraged
by her mother. The fear of agreeing with that lady was a motive, but
there was a stronger one, in this particular case, in the fear of
agreeing with her niece, who had rejected him. His situation might be
held to have improved when Mr. Tramore was taken so gravely ill that with
regard to his recovery those about him left their eyes to speak for their
lips; and in the light of the poor gentleman’s recent death it was
doubtless better than it had ever been.
He was only a quarter of an hour with the girl, but this gave him time to
take the measure of it. After he had spoken to her about her
bereavement, very much as an especially mild missionary might have spoken
to a beautiful Polynesian, he let her know that he had learned from her
companions the very strong step she was about to take. This led to their
spending together ten minutes which, to her mind, threw more light on his
character than anything that had ever passed between them. She had
always felt with him as if she were standing on an edge, looking down
into something decidedly deep. To-day the impression of the
perpendicular shaft was there, but it was rather an abyss of confusion
and disorder than the large bright space in which she had figured
everything as ranged and pigeon-holed, presenting the appearance of the
labelled shelves and drawers at a chemist’s. He discussed without an
invitation to discuss, he appealed without a right to appeal. He was
nothing but a suitor tolerated after dismissal, but he took strangely for
granted a participation in her affairs. He assumed all sorts of things
that made her draw back. He implied that there was everything now to
assist them in arriving at an agreement, since she had never informed him
that he was positively objectionable; but that this symmetry would be
spoiled if she should not be willing to take a little longer to think of
certain consequences. She was greatly disconcerted when she saw what
consequences he meant and at his reminding her of them. What on earth
was the use of a lover if he was to speak only like one’s grandmother and
one’s aunt? He struck her as much in love with her and as particularly
careful at the same time as to what he might say. He never mentioned her
mother; he only alluded, indirectly but earnestly, to the “step.” He
disapproved of it altogether, took an unexpectedly prudent, politic view
of it. He evidently also believed that she would be dragged down; in
other words that she would not be asked out. It was his idea that her
mother would contaminate her, so that he should find himself interested
in a young person discredited and virtually unmarriageable. All this was
more obvious to him than the consideration that a daughter should be
merciful. Where was his religion if he understood mercy so little, and
where were his talent and his courage if he were so miserably afraid of
trumpery social penalties? Rose’s heart sank when she reflected that a
man supposed to be first-rate hadn’t guessed that rather than not do what
she could for her mother she would give up all the Engineers in the
world. She became aware that she probably would have been moved to place
her hand in his on the spot if he had come to her saying “Your idea is
the right one; put it through at every cost.” She couldn’t discuss this
with him, though he impressed her as having too much at stake for her to
treat him with mere disdain. She sickened at the revelation that a
gentleman could see so much in mere vulgarities of opinion, and though
she uttered as few words as possible, conversing only in sad smiles and
headshakes and in intercepted movements toward the door, she happened, in
some unguarded lapse from her reticence, to use the expression that she
was disappointed in him. He caught at it and, seeming to drop his
field-glass, pressed upon her with nearer, tenderer eyes.
“Can I be so happy as to believe, then, that you had thought of me with
some confidence, with some faith?”
“If you didn’t suppose so, what is the sense of this visit?” Rose asked.
“One can be faithful without reciprocity,” said the young man. “I regard
you in a light which makes me want to protect you even if I have nothing
to gain by it.”
“Yet you speak as if you thought you might keep me for yourself.”
“For _yourself_. I don’t want you to suffer.”
“Nor to suffer yourself by my doing so,” said Rose, looking down.
“Ah, if you would only marry me next month!” he broke out inconsequently.
“And give up going to mamma?” Rose waited to see if he would say “What
need that matter? Can’t your mother come to us?” But he said nothing of
the sort; he only answered—
“She surely would be sorry to interfere with the exercise of any other
affection which I might have the bliss of believing that you are now
free, in however small a degree, to entertain.”
Rose knew that her mother wouldn’t be sorry at all; but she contented
herself with rejoining, her hand on the door: “Good-bye. I sha’n’t
suffer. I’m not afraid.”
“You don’t know how terrible, how cruel, the world can be.”
“Yes, I do know. I know everything!”
The declaration sprang from her lips in a tone which made him look at her
as he had never looked before, as if he saw something new in her face, as
if he had never yet known her. He hadn’t displeased her so much but that
she would like to give him that impression, and since she felt that she
was doing so she lingered an instant for the purpose. It enabled her to
see, further, that he turned red; then to become aware that a carriage
had stopped at the door. Captain Jay’s eyes, from where he stood, fell
upon this arrival, and the nature of their glance made Rose step forward
to look. Her mother sat there, brilliant, conspicuous, in the eternal
victoria, and the footman was already sounding the knocker. It had been
no part of the arrangement that she should come to fetch her; it had been
out of the question—a stroke in such bad taste as would have put Rose in
the wrong. The girl had never dreamed of it, but somehow, suddenly,
perversely, she was glad of it now; she even hoped that her grandmother
and her aunt were looking out upstairs.
“My mother has come for me. Good-bye,” she repeated; but this time her
visitor had got between her and the door.
“Listen to me before you go. I will give you a life’s devotion,” the
young man pleaded. He really barred the way.
She wondered whether her grandmother had told him that if her flight were
not prevented she would forfeit money. Then, vividly, it came over her
that this would be what he was occupied with. “I shall never think of
you—let me go!” she cried, with passion.
Captain Jay opened the door, but Rose didn’t see his face, and in a
moment she was out of the house. Aunt Julia, who was sure to have been
hovering, had taken flight before the profanity of the knock.
“Heavens, dear, where did you get your mourning?” the lady in the
victoria asked of her daughter as they drove away.