FOLLOW YOUR LEADER
That’s some crazy game all right, I learned it from Hervey Willetts. I
jumped up on the stone wall alongside the road and started along on it
with the four of them after me. “Follow your leader wherever he goes,” I
shouted.
“Don’t ask where you’re headed for nobody knows,
Just keep your eyes open and follow your nose;
Be careful, don’t trip and go stubbing your toes,
And follow your leader wherever he goes.”
Oh boy, when we get started on that, _good night_! There’s a big sign in
the field and it said.
TRESPASSING FORBIDDEN
TRESPASSERS WILL BE PUNISHED TO
THE FULL EXTENT OF THE LAW.
TAKE WARNING.
“You better look out you don’t go kerflop down in the field,” Pee-wee
shouted at me.
“Follow your leader,” I said.
Pretty soon I started hopping on one foot and it’s pretty hard to do
that on a stone wall.
“Have a heart!” one of them shouted at me. A lot I cared.
There was a man with a big straw hat on in the field and he came over
toward us. I guess he thought we’d fall down in his cabbages. I kept
hopping on one foot and kind of bending over toward the field and once I
leaned away over and made believe to lose my balance and so the other
fellows had to do the same. We were all kind of staggering on the stone
wall.
The man said, “Look out whar yer fall if yer know what’s well fer yer.
Did yer see that thar sign yonder?”
“If I turn to look at it I’ll fall,” I said. All the while we were
trying to stand still, each of us on one foot. Gee, I bet we looked
crazy.
The man said, “I’m givin’ yer warning, yer set a foot in this field uv
cabbage and I’ll hev the law onter yer.”
“I can’t stand on one leg any longer!” Pee-wee shouted.
I kept hopping on one leg and I said, “Follow your leader whatever he
does.”
“If we fall in the field we’ll miss the train,” the kid shouted.
“Our solemn honor is more important than a train,” I told him.
All of a sudden I lost my balance almost and I had to stand on both legs
and wave my hands to keep from falling down into the field. Dub did the
same and he bunked against me, then Sandy went bunking against him and,
good night, we all went tumbling down in a bunch outside the stone wall.
Lucky for us, hey?
“Follow your leader,” I said.
So then I went hop, skip and jump down the road with that crazy bunch
after me. Gee, it was a picture no artist could paint. Anyway I guess
Dub was having a good time. He was laughing, I know that. Pretty soon we
came to the place where the road goes down to Shady Vale--it’s pretty
steep. There was a sign that said.
STEEP HILL
USE YOUR EARS
I said to them, “Here’s where we have to be careful--follow your leader.
Use your ears so you won’t go down too fast.” I grabbed hold of my two
ears and held them out so the wind would catch them and hold us
back--that’s what I told the other fellows. They all did just like I
did. Some parade!
Down at the foot of the hill were a couple of girls sitting in a Ford
and they started laughing at us. One of them said, “What are you holding
your ears for? You look too silly!”
“To go slow down the hill,” I said. “There’s a sign up there that says
we should use our ears.”
“It means _gears_,” she said. “Somebody scratched out the G. You’re too
ridiculous!”
“How did we know that?” Will asked her. “We’re Boy Scouts and we obey
the law. When we see a sign we obey it.”
She said, “Well, Mr. Show-off, since you’re so obedient, there’s a sign
right across the road there that says STOP.”
“Then we have to stop,” I told her. “Boy Scouts are supposed to obey the
law.”
It was one of those things that had STOP and GO printed on it but I
guess the cop was never there except on Sundays. Anyway I don’t see why
they have that village there on week days. Nobody ever goes through it
except on Sundays. If they stood it off the road it would be out of the
way.
“Follow your leader,” I said. So then I sat down alongside the road and
the other four fellows did just the same. We all sat in a row. We were
right opposite the car with the girls.
One of the girls said to the other one, “Did you ever see anything so
_absurd_?”
Sandy said, “Go ahead, laugh. We’re not ashamed to obey the law. The
sign says stop.”
The girl said, “It isn’t for pedestrians, _silly_!”
“Will you let her call you that?” I said to Pee-wee.
“Do you call us pedestrians?” he shouted.
“I call you lunatics,” she said.
“Right the first time,” I told her. “And you needn’t make fun of us
because we won’t go. I’ve seen lots of Fords that won’t go, and I don’t
mean maybe, perhaps.”
“He thinks pedestrian is an epithet,” one of the girls said. “Did you
ever know anything so _perfectly crushing_?”
[Illustration: “HE THINKS PEDESTRIAN IS AN EPITHET,” ONE OF THE GIRLS SAID.]
“Sure, didn’t you ever see a stone-crusher?” I said.
She said, “I’d just like to know how long you’re going to stay there.”
“We’re going to stay here till it says GO,” I told her.
She said, “You must have _oceans_ of time to spare.”
“Sure,” I said, “do you want some of it?”
Sandy called over to them and said, “Will you please tell us how much
time we’ve got?”
One of the girls said, “I hope you have more time than you have brains.
I don’t even know where you’re going. What town do you want?”
“What ones have you got?” I asked her.
“She’s handing out towns,” Will said.
“And I’ll tell you another thing,” she said, “It was one of the boys
from that big camp who mutilated that sign, and he wears a funny hat.”
“Hervey Willetts,” I whispered to Will.
“And he’d better not show himself here again,” she said. “That’s all
_I’ve_ got to say.”
I said, “Hey girls, will you please have somebody come and turn this
sign around so we can continue on our way? We have to catch a West Shore
train at Catskill Landing and it leaves at ten-three.”
“Well then, you’ve missed it already,” one of them said.
“He means three ten,” Pee-wee shouted.
“Well you can just sit there and starve,” one of the girls said. Then
they started off in the Ford.
I said, “I think this is serious. Maybe that sign won’t be turned around
till next Sunday. By that time the train will probably have gone.”
“We’d better consider what we’re going to do,” Will said.
So then we started making poetry--it wasn’t so good. I said,
“Beyond we cannot roam,
And Dub he can’t go home.”
Sandy said,
“We’d like to hike some maw
But we cannot break the law.”
Will Dawson said,
“The sign up there says STOP,
And we’re waiting for the cop.”
“Let’s start all over again,” I said. “As long as ten-three doesn’t come
till night we might as well take it easy. Maybe the cop will come here
in his sleep to-night. It’s nice and comfortable sitting here.”
All of a sudden Pee-wee opened up. He said, “You’ll keep saying
ten-three so much that you’ll really get to think so and we’ll no
fooling miss the train for Dub and we won’t be able to get any ice
creams--if we keep fooling like this.”
I said, “That’s quite a good argument.”
Pee-wee said, “You’ll live to regret it with all your fooling and
wasting time here like this.” He was thinking about not having time for
ice cream.
After we had a good rest I grabbed the apple that Pee-wee was eating and
I threw it at the word STOP and the thing turned around to the word GO.
“That shows you how much resourcefulness a Silver Fox has,” I told them.
“If I hadn’t thought about that we might have sat here till next Sunday.
That was my idea.”
“It was _my_ apple!” Pee-wee shouted.
“Follow your leader,” I said.