HACIOCRAM
“ONE group of islands we were warned to avoid was that of the Rasolola,
or theomaniacs. Hither had been deported from the chief countries all
who allowed their peculiar religious ideas to outrun common-sense or the
permissible limits of worship or theological belief. A storm, however,
drove us close to the small archipelago, and we had to anchor off
Haciocram, or the Isle of Prophets. We had no sooner come to rest than
there was raised on a signal-board above a lofty tower on the island an
inscription in enormous letters. We got our guide to translate it. It
did not remove our perplexity to learn that it was only a number, 1999.
What could it mean? He could not enlighten us; but there was a provoking
smile on his face. Before we could question him further, we saw a canoe
put off from shore. Its occupant reaching us bounced on board, with
fiery eyes standing out of his head, and his long hair on end like a
mop. He was the inspired messenger of the inspired high-priest of the
island, and he came to ask us if we accepted that (and he pointed to the
sign-board) as the true number of the beast; if we did not, we might
just as well be gone at once; for we would not be allowed to land. I
wanted to know what beast it was; I knew a good many beasts, both human
and inhuman; and I should like to know which one it was he meant. What!
Did I not know what the beast was? the man of sin? the foul creature
that was to creep forth and pollute the world at its end? The true
number of him had but that day been revealed, and the whole world must
accept it. For the sake of peace, I indicated my acceptance of it,
though I was no more clear as to its meaning than before.
“Blastemo explained how the Haciocrammers had taken the sacred books of
the islands with them as the sole consolation of their exile, and had
worked out from them the most extraordinary theories of the
constitution, history, and fate of the world. But, as they took, some of
them the words, and others the letters of the words, of the book as
inspired, whilst one section accepted its Thribbaty form and another its
Slapyak form as the true, there had been the bitterest dissension
amongst them. At one time the dominant section converted the others by
great physical pressure brought to bear on the thumb, then considered
the seat of the soul; at another it was the great toe that was the point
of attack in conversion crusades; if the conversion could not be
accomplished thus, then were the recalcitrants purified by fire as the
only means left of saving their souls. Sometimes the dissentients
pretended to give up the errors of their way, and when strong enough
rose in rebellion and overturned the dominant set. This had occurred
again and again, till it was difficult to tell from month to month, or
now even week to week, which sect was in power. There were as many sects
as there were symmetrical combinations of numbers, and they were all,
when in power, equally fierce in persecution of the others. Their
experience as victims taught them no lesson of tolerance, but only
filled their hearts with a furious passion for revenge, that was
ultimately blended and confused with a passion for conversion.
“But had not the long series of mutual persecutions cleared out most of
the population? No; not one in a generation suffered the purification by
fire. Either the thumb or the great-toe persuasion was usually quite
sufficient. What had resulted from the perpetual conversions by pressure
was one of the most treacherous dispositions in the whole archipelago.
Cunning had become an ingrained instinct as strong as their fanaticism
in these numeromaniacs. When they were not dragooning and oppressing,
they were busy protecting themselves from persecution by pretending to
assume the colour of the persecutors. Alternately victim and fanatic
oppressor, the Haciocrammer had become one of the most singular mongrels
in creation. He was bold as a lion to-day, and confident in his own
inspiration and infallibility; to-morrow he was cringing and supple and
obsequious as the veriest slave. This creature who had just brought the
order from the ruling high-priest, whose eye was all fire and
fanaticism, would, after the next revolution to-morrow or the following
day, be ready to lick the dust beneath your feet, whilst his eye would
be full of mute and stupid appeal; you would not believe him to be the
same being, his nature would be so thoroughly turned inside out.
“We tried to persuade the ambassador to sell us provisions, but he was
so eager to persuade us of his infallibility and the finality of the new
number of the beast that he could not listen to our requests. The world
had been waiting for this number so long that it could not afford time
for anything now but the contemplation of it, and if only we would
consider the method by which the high-priest had come at it, we would
see that the universe was saved. He had counted all the words in the
Thribbaty version of the sacred book, and all in the Slapyak version,
and added them together for a divisor; and for a dividend he had counted
all their letters and added them together and multiplied the sum by the
number of divisions in the book; what he got he divided by the number of
words, and thus he found the new number. What was more important was
that he had prophesied this before he had reached the result by
arithmetic.
“Having got at the number, he had interpreted it in as original and
infallible a way. He had taken the number of strokes needed to make any
one letter of their alphabet as the numerical rendering of it, and in
this manner he had translated the whole alphabet into numbers. He thus
found that the new number stood for the name of his chief antagonist; if
taken numerically, it indicated that this enemy of his and of the sect
he represented would descend into Hades at the end of the world, whilst
the high-priest himself and his sect would ascend into heaven; and the
end of the world, he announced from other signs in the lettering of the
sacred book, was next year.
“Blastemo told us that every time he had approached the island the world
was to come to an end the following week or month or year; so, in order
to test the high-priest, we sent off a message by his envoy offering to
buy the surplus provisions of the island that would not be needed after
the date he gave for the collapse of all things. A negative answer came
back; and, as the storm had moderated, we lifted our anchor and left.”
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