CHAPTER XLI

“Destiny often pulls off leaves, as we treat the vine, that

its fruits may be earlier brought to maturity.”--JEAN PAUL.

It was not until toward morning that Otto fell into sleep. Wilhelm and

he were allowed to take their own time in rising, and thus it was late

in the day before these two gentlemen made their appearance at the

breakfast-table; the Kammerjunker was already come over to the hall, and

now was more adorned than common.

“Mr. Thostrup shall be one of the initiated!” said the mother. “It

will be time enough this evening for strangers to know of it. The

Kammerjunker and my Sophie are betrothed.”

“See, it was in the bright moonlight, Mr. Thostrup, that I became such

a happy man!” said the Kammerjunker, and kissed the tips of Sophie’s

fingers. He offered his other hand to Otto.

Otto’s countenance remained unchanged, a smile played upon his lips.

“I congratulate you!” said he; “it is indeed a joyful day! If I were a

poet, I would give you an ode!”

Louise looked at him with an extraordinary expression of pain in her

countenance.

Wilhelm called the Kammerjunker brother-in-law, and smiling shook both

his hands.

Otto was unusually gay, jested, and laughed. The ladies went to their

toilet, Otto into the garden.

He had been so convinced in his own mind that Sophie returned his

passion. With what pleasure had she listened to him! with what an

expression had her eye rested upon him! Her little jests had been to

him such convincing proofs that the hope which he nourished was no

self-delusion. She was the light around which his thoughts had circled.

Love to her was to him a good angel, which sung to him consolation and

life’s gladness in his dark moments.

Now, all was suddenly over. It was as if the angel had left him; the

flame of love which had so entirely filled his soul, was in a moment

extinguished to its last spark. Sophie was become a stranger to him; her

intellectual eye, which smiled in love on the Kammerjunker, seemed to

him the soulless eye of the automaton. A stupefying indifference went

through him, deadly as poison that is infused into the human blood.

“The vain girl! she thought to make herself more important by repelling

from her a faithful heart! She should only see how changed her image is

in my soul. All the weaknesses which my love for her made me pass over,

now step forth with repulsive features! Not a word which she spoke fell

to the ground. The diamond has lost its lustre; I feel only its sharp

corners!”

Sophie had given the preference to a man who, in respect of intellect,

stood far below Otto! Sophie, who seemed to be enthusiastic for art and

beauty, for everything glorious in the kingdom of mind, could thus have

deceived him!

We will now see the sisters in their chamber.

Louise seemed pensive, she sat silently looking before her.

Sophie stood thoughtfully with a smile upon her lips.

“The Kammerjunker is very handsome, however!” exclaimed she: “he looks

so manly!”

“You ought to find him love-worthy!” said Louise.

“Yes,” replied her sister, “I have always admired these strong

countenances! He is an Axel--a northern blackbearded savage. Faces such

as Wilhelm’s look like ladies’! And he is so good! He has said, that

immediately after our marriage we shall make a tour to Hamburg. What

dress do you think I should wear?”

“When you make the journey to Hamburg?” inquired Louise.

“O no, child! to-day I mean. Thostrup was indeed very polite! he

congratulated me! I felt, however, rather curious when it was told to

him. I had quite expected a scene! I was almost ready to beg of you

to tell him first of all. He ought to have been prepared. But he was,

however, very rational! I should not have expected it from him. I really

wish him all good, but he is an extraordinary character! so melancholy!

Do you think that he will take my betrothal to heart? I noticed that

when I was kissed he turned himself suddenly round to the window and

played with the flowers. I wish that he would soon go! The journey

into foreign countries will do him good--there he will soon forget his

heart’s troubles. To-morrow I will write to Cousin Joachim; he will also

be surprised!”

Late in the afternoon came Jakoba, the Mamsell, the preacher, and yet a

few other guests.

In the evening the table was arranged festively. The betrothed sat

together, and Otto had the place of honor--he sat on the other side

of Sophie. The preacher had written a song to the tune of “Be thou

our social guardian-goddess;” this was sung. Otto’s voice sounded

beautifully and strong; he rang his glass with the betrothed pair, and

the Kammerjunker said that now Mr. Thostrup must speedily seek out a

bride for himself.

“She is found,” answered Otto; “but now that is yet a secret.”

“Health to the bride!” said Sophie, and rung her glass; but soon again

her intellectual eye rested upon the Kammerjunker, who was talking about

asparagus and stall-feeding with clover, yet her glance brought him back

again to the happiness of his love.

It was a very lively evening. Late in the night the party broke up. The

friends went to their chamber.

“My dear, faithful Otto!” said Wilhelm, and laid his hand on his

shoulder; “you were very lively and good-humored this evening. Continue

always thus!”

“I hope to do so,” answered Otto: “may we only always have as happy an

evening as this!”

“Extraordinary man!” said Wilhelm, and shook his head. “Now we will soon

set out on our journey, and catch for ourselves the happiness of the

glorious gold bird!”

“And not let it escape again!” exclaimed Otto. “Formerly I used to say,

To-morrow! to-morrow! now I say, To-day, and all day long! Away with

fancies and complainings. I now comprehend that which you once said to

me, that is. Man _can_ be happy if he only _will_ be so.”

Wilhelm took his hand, and looked into his face with a half-melancholy

expression.

“Are you sentimental?” inquired Otto.

“I only affect that which I am not!” answered Wilhelm; and with that,

suddenly throwing off the natural gravity of the moment, returned to his

customary gayety.

The following days were spent in visiting and in receiving visitors. On

every post-day Otto sought through the leathern bag of the postman, but

he found no letter from German Heinrich, and heard nothing from him. “I

have been deceived,” said he, “and I feel myself glad about it! She, the

horrible one, is not my sister!”

There was a necessity for him to go away, far from home, and yet he felt

no longing after the mountains of Switzerland or the luxuriant beauty of

the south.

“Nature will only weaken me! I will not seek after it. Man it is that I

require: these egotistical, false beings--these lords of everything!

How we flatter our weaknesses and admire our virtues! Whatever serves to

advance our own wishes we find to be excellent. To those who love us,

we give our love in return. At the bottom, whom do I love except myself?

Wilhelm? My friendship for him is built upon the foundation,--I cannot

do without thee! Friendship is to me a necessity. Was I not once

convinced that I adored Sophie, and that I never could bear it if she

were lost to me? and yet there needed the conviction ‘She loves thee

not,’ and my strong feeling was dead. Sophie even seems to me

less beautiful; I see faults where I formerly could only discover

amiabilities! Now, she is to me almost wholly a stranger. As I am, so

are all. Who is there that feels right lovingly, right faithfully for

me, without his own interest leading him to do so? Rosalie? My old,

honest Rosalie? I grew up before her eyes like a plant which she loved.

I am dear to her as it! When her canary-bird one morning lay dead in its

cage, she wept bitterly and long; she should never more hear it sing,

she should never more look after its cage and its food. It was the loss

of it which made her weep. She missed that which had been interesting

to her. I also interested her. Interest is the name for that which

the world calls love. Louise?” He almost spoke the name aloud, and his

thoughts dwelt, from a strong combination of circumstances, upon it.

“She appears to me true, and capable of making sacrifices! but is not

she also very different from all the others? How often have I not heard

Sophie laugh at her for it--look down upon her!” And Otto’s better

feeling sought in vain for a shadow of self-love in Louise, a single

selfish motive for her noble conduct.

“Away from Denmark! to new people! Happy he who can always be on the

wing, making new friendships, and speedily breaking them off! At the

first meeting people wear their intellectual Sunday apparel; every point

of light is brought forth; but soon and the festival-day is over, and

the bright points have vanished.”

“We will set off next week!” said Wilhelm, “and then it shall be--

‘Over the rushing blue waters away!

We will speed along shores that are verdant and gay!’

Away over the moors, up the Rhine, through the land of champagne to the

city of cities, the life-animating Paris!”

O. T., A Danish Romance · 第 41 / 46 章