JESSICA’S CHOICE.
Early the next morning Daniel went to the minister’s house, half hoping
that he should hear that the malady of the night before had been only a
temporary insensibility, from which he had recovered. But the minister
lay in the same state of unconsciousness, and showed no sign of
returning life. The nurse told him that a ragged and miserable woman,
who called herself Jessica’s mother, had seen him during the Sunday
afternoon, and held a long conversation with him, after which he had
ordered some food to be given her in the kitchen.
This, then, no doubt, was the subject upon which the minister wished to
speak to Daniel; and the latter felt more than ever lost in doubt as to
what he ought to do, as it was now impossible to hear the advice which
his master had intended to give to him.
He walked thoughtfully towards the chapel, with Jessica beside him,
scarcely knowing how to break the news to her. She was a little sad,
and less talkative than usual, and her small hand was thrust lovingly
into his own, as if she felt that it was needful to assure herself
that it could return her warm grasp. When they opened the vestry-door,
and, going in, saw all the confusion which bore testimony of the last
night’s calamity, Daniel drew the child closer to him with his arm, and
bending down stiffly kissed her uplifted face.
“He isn’t going to die,” said Jessica, with a trembling voice; “he is
only resting himself, the doctor says, and then he will know us again,
and speak to us all.”
“To think,” cried Daniel, in a mournful amazement, “that he should have
spoken thousands and thousands of words, ay! millions! and I scarce
gave an ear to them; and now I’d almost offer a golden guinea for every
word he could speak to me! Ay! Jessica, so that he spoke pretty short
and simple, I’d give a guinea a word if he could tell me what I ought
to do.”
“Do you want him to say something particular?” asked Jessica.
“Ay! very particular,” answered Daniel.
“Couldn’t you ask God?” suggested Jessica.
“Well,” he answered, doubtfully, “of course I could; but then there’s
no direct answer, which I couldn’t mistake. My mother used to open her
Bible and take the first words she set her eyes on for answer; and very
queer answers they were sometimes. I’m not good enough yet to expect a
very clear answer to my prayers.”
Jessica made no answer, for Daniel’s mode of reasoning was a little
obscure to her; but she set to work to put the scattered chairs in
order, while Daniel looked on with loving but troubled eyes.
“Jessica,” he said, “the trouble I’d like to talk to him about is that
your mother’s come back again.”
She started, and looked at him with great, wide-open eyes of amazement
and terror, while her face quivered, and she twitched her small
shoulders a little, as if already shrinking from a blow. But the
expression of pain and fear passed away quickly, and though her face
was pale a smile came upon it.
“Doesn’t God know that mother’s come back?” she asked.
There was no need for Daniel to answer her question, but he turned
it over and over again in his own mind with something very much like
doubt. It seemed as if it would have been so much better, especially
at this crisis, for Jessica’s mother to remain absent that it was as
if God had given up His particular providence over the affairs of
insignificant people like himself and Jessica. It would be no wonder
if amid all the affairs of the hosts of angels, and the myriads of
worlds of which he had a vague idea, that God should overlook a little
matter like the tramping to and fro of a drunken woman. It was a
saddening thought; but Daniel was in the mood to cherish it.
“Do you know where mother is?” asked Jessica.
“No, deary,” answered Daniel. “I gave her a shilling last night to pay
for her lodging and breakfast. She told me she’d had nothing to eat
or drink all day; but the nurse said she’d been to see the minister
yesterday afternoon and had a good meal. She’s sure to come again.”
“Ay, she’s sure to come again,” echoed Jessica.
“And so,” continued Daniel, “nurse and me have agreed you’d better stay
with the young ladies for a bit, out of the way like, till I can see
how I can settle with your mother. You’d be glad to stay with Miss
Jane and Winny, Jessica?”
“Yes,” she answered, her face quivering again, as if she could scarcely
keep herself from crying, “but I’d like to see my mother.”
“See your mother!” repeated Daniel, with unfeigned astonishment;
“whatever for, Jessica?”
“She’s my mother,” replied Jessica, “and the Lord Jesus Christ had a
mother. Oh! I’d like to see her again, and tell her about God, and
Jesus Christ, and heaven. Perhaps she’d become a good woman!”
She could control herself no longer, and throwing herself on her knees
before the minister’s chair she hid her face in her hands, and Daniel
heard that amid her sobs she was murmuring some prayer to God for her
mother. This was a new perplexity, that Jessica should wish to see her
cruel and hard-hearted mother; but there was something in it which he
could neither blame nor gainsay. He would rather have kept Jessica in
safety at the minister’s house than have her exposed to the frequent
and violent visits of the drunken woman to his own little dwelling; but
if Jessica decided otherwise he would not oppose her. His house did not
seem the same place without her presence in it.
“Choose for yourself, deary,” he said, very gently: “come home with me,
and run the chance of your mother coming again soon; or go back to Miss
Jane and Winny, who are so fond of you, and where everything is fine,
and you’ll be in such good company. Choose for yourself.”
“I’ll go home with you,” said Jessica, getting up from her knees with a
cheerful smile. “I couldn’t think this morning who’d sweep the kitchen,
and get the breakfast. I’d rather go home with you, if you please.”
It was impossible for Daniel not to be gratified at Jessica’s choice,
however troubled he might be with the idea of her mother’s disturbance
of their peace; for home was not home without her. They kept very near
to one another all day at their work, and it was late at night before
they returned home, where they found no one sitting upon the doorsteps,
as Daniel timorously expected. But their neighbor Brookes informed them
that Jessica’s mother had been sobbing and crying before the closed
door during a great part of the evening.