CHAPTER XII

Except for the low yet hysterical moaning of the woman in the chair and

the distant whistle of a Hudson River boat, there was complete silence

in the small room, while the man stood dumfounded and speechless.

Marian's evening gown was torn and one silk stocking sagged at the

ankle. Stuart Farquaharson noted these things vaguely and at last he

inquired, "How did you get here?"

Her answer came between sobs, "I walked."

"You have done an unspeakably mad thing, Marian," he said quietly. "You

can't stay here. There is no one in this house but myself; even my

servant is away to-night. Why didn't you go to 'The Crags'?"

She lifted a tear-stained face and shot her answer at him scornfully.

"'The Crags'! I had to talk to some one who was _human_. They would have

bundled me back with cynical advice--besides, they're off somewhere."

"You're in distress and God knows I sympathize with you. I shall

certainly offer no cynical advice, but I mean to call your husband on

the telephone and tell him that you're here."

He turned toward the side table and lifted the desk instrument, but with

the impetuous swiftness of a leopardess she came to her feet and sprang

upon him. For an instant he was borne back by the unexpected impact of

her body against his own and in that moment she seized the telephone

from his hand and tore loose its wires from the wall. Then she hurled it

with a crashing violence to the stone flagging of the hearth where it

lay wrecked, and stood before him a palpitating and disordered spirit of

fright and anger.

He had sought in that brief collision to restrain her, but she had

wrenched herself free so violently that she had torn the strap which

held her gown over one shoulder. Then as she reeled back, with a wildly

ungoverned gesture she ran her fingers through her hair until it fell in

tangled waves about her shoulders. It was perhaps a full minute before

she could speak and while she stood recovering her breath, Stuart

Farquaharson looked helplessly down at the instrument which she had

succeeded in rendering useless.

With blazing eyes and quivering nostrils, the woman rushed headlong into

explanation, accusation and pleading.

"If you telephoned that I was here he'd try to kill me. I tell you I'm

done with him! I hate him--hate him; don't you understand? He's been

drinking again and he's a beast. That's why I came ... that's why I had

to come.... I came to you because I thought you'd understand ... because

I thought ... you ... cared for me."

"I care enough for you to try to prevent your ruining your life by a

single piece of lunacy," he told her as he sought to steady her with the

directness of his gaze. "You don't have to go on with Holbury if you

choose to leave him, but this is the one place of all others for you to

avoid." He cast a hasty glance about him and then, hurrying to the front

of the room, closed the door and drew the blinds. For a half hour he

argued with forced calmness, but the ears to which he spoke were deaf to

everything save the wild instinct of escape.

"Here you are in a house that sits in full view from the road: doors and

windows open: you with your hair streaming and your gown disordered;

hairpins strewn about: the telephone dead. Now, I've got to walk to

your house and tell him."

Under the level insistence of his eyes she had fallen back a pace and

stood holding the unsupported gown over her bosom, but when he finished

with that final announcement, which seemed to her a threat, she sprang

forward again and threw her arms about him, not in an embrace but with

the instinct of a single idea: to prevent his carrying out his announced

intention.

Stuart attempted gently to disengage himself, but the soft arms clung

and the figure was convulsed with its agitation. "No, no!" she kept

repeating. "You sha'n't go. You sha'n't leave me here alone.... I

couldn't stand it."

"You walked two miles to get here and that took you about forty-five

minutes," he reminded her. "You've been here a half hour. Do you fancy

your husband's jealousy won't tell him where you went?" But the idea

terrified her into such renewed hysteria that he broke off and stood

silent.

The gathering clouds had broken now into a wild spring storm and the

rain was drumming like canister on the roof of Stuart's cottage, so they

did not hear the purr of a motor which stopped outside. They were

without warning when the door suddenly burst open, and across the bare

shoulder of the woman, who still hung sobbing to him, Stuart saw the

bloated and apoplectic face of Larry Holbury and at his back the

frightened countenance of two servants.

The husband came unsteadily several steps into the room, and lifted a

hand which shook as he pointed to the tableau. He addressed his

retainers in a voice which trembled with drink and rage, but even in its

thickness it was icy by virtue of a fury that had passed through all

period of bluster.

"I want you to look well at that," he said. "Mark every detail in your

memories, both of you. There they are--in each other's arms. Notice her

condition well, because, by God--"

Marian's scream interrupted his sentence, and the scream itself died

away in a quaver, as she faded into insensibility, and Farquaharson

lifted her clear of the floor and carried her to the lounge.

After that he turned to face Holbury and addressed him with a quietness

which the glitter in his eye contradicted. "This is a pity, Holbury. It

seems that you frightened her with some brutality. She lost her head and

came here. I was trying to persuade her to go back."

"Yes," Holbury's laugh rang with the uncontrolled quality of a maniac's.

"Yes, I know. You tore the clothes off of her trying to persuade her to

come back to me! Well, you needn't trouble about sending her back

now--the door's locked. She's yours. Do what you like with her. Of

course I ought to kill you, but I won't. I brought these men to

establish beyond doubt the identity of the co-respondent. It's a gentle

riddance--a crooked wife and a crooked paramour."

One of the men advanced into the room and ostentatiously gathered in a

couple of hairpins and a bit of torn lace, while Farquaharson crossed

and stood face to face with the irate husband.

"Do you mean that you believe that?" The question came with a deadly

softness.

"I don't have to believe. I have seen."

"Then," Stuart's words ripped themselves out like the tearing of cloth,

"send your damned jackals outside, unless you want them to see their

master treated as such a cur deserves."

A moment later the two servants were assisting Holbury to his motor, one

of them nursing a closed and blackened eye on his own account as a badge

of over-impetuous loyalty; and most of that night, while Marian Holbury

lay groaning on the couch, Stuart Farquaharson sat before his empty

hearth with eyes which did not close.

The Holbury divorce suit, after filling advance columns of spicy print,

was awarded with a sealed record and Farquaharson was given no

opportunity to tell his story to the public. He saw nothing more of

Marian and was widely accused of having compromised and then abandoned

her. So Stuart closed the house on the Hudson, as he had closed the

house in Virginia, and with a very bitter spirit went to Europe.

It was some time before this, perhaps several months, that Eben Tollman,

the indispensable friend--serving hitherto without reward or the seeking

of reward--ventured to aspire openly to more personal recognition. He

had been building slowly, and if perseverance is a merit, he deserved

success. Perhaps Conscience had changed. There had been many things to

change her. She had lived long without a break in an atmosphere which

she had dreaded and her father had not grown sunnier. A life of dogma

had acidulated into so impossible a fanaticism that in contrast Tollman

seemed to assume something like breadth of gauge.

The heart attacks which had been painted as such sure death had been a

greater threat to the girl than to the man whose heart was physically

involved. There had been two of them and both had been survived. William

Williams was a man who was always dying, but who never died. Yet these

seizures served their purpose since they kept the daughter freshly

reminded that a sword of Damocles hung over her--and that her father

must not be crossed. It became a thought with which she lived, with

which she slept, until it carried her to more and more absurd lengths of

self-effacement and ate out the heart of her independence. Of Eben

Tollman she no longer thought as a man old enough to be her father and

as impersonal as the Sphinx.

If he lacked the fire and buoyancy which had made association with

Stuart Farquaharson a thing of light and color and sparkle, so did her

whole life lack that fire in these gray days. So did she herself lack

it, she told herself wistfully. At all events he came nearer being

_fides Achates_ than any one else. Stuart was a memory and she was

trying very hard to make him even less than that--only the gnawing ache

in her heart wouldn't let her.

Yet when Tollman shifted her abstract acceptance of what he meant to her

to a question of a concrete application, she felt the sudden sinking of

despair.

All afternoon her father had been petulant and reminiscent. He had

seemed perversely bent on committing a righteous suicide by forcing her

to make him angry. He had cast into damnation all the "fads" and "isms"

of an ungodly present and, since he judged the time had come to point a

moral, he had buried Stuart Farquaharson at the bottom of the heap.

Even now Conscience winced under these tirades. The truth was that she

was heart-broken; that the image of Stuart, despite his feet of clay,

was still shrined in her life. But she was fighting that and she did not

know that the fight was hopeless.

So to-night, as she sat with a sewing basket in her lap and Tollman sat

across from her in the chair he had so often occupied of late, the

surprise came.

"Conscience," he said, and something in the tone of his voice caused her

to look suddenly up, "I've tried to be your friend because I've known

that it was only that way I could be anything."

Suddenly his voice leaped with a fierceness of which she had never

thought it capable. To her he had always been sort of extinct volcano,

and now he broke into eruption. "Must it always be only that? Is there

no hope for me?"

The piece of sewing in her hand dropped suddenly to her lap with the

needle thrust half through. She sat as if in tableau--a picture of

arrested motion.

She should have foreseen that the comfortable and platonic relation

could not last--but she had not foreseen it. It came with a shock and in

the wake of the shock came crowding pictures of all the rest of life,

painted in these dun tints of New England lethargy from which she had

prayed to be delivered. Then slowly and welling with disquiet, her eyes

rose to his and she found them full of suspense.

"I suppose," she answered in a bewildered tone, "I ought to have known.

But it's been so satisfying just as it was--that I didn't pause--to

analyze."

"Couldn't it still be satisfying, dear?" He took an eager step forward.

"Am I too much of a fossil?" He paused and then added with a note of

hurt. "I have felt young, since I've been in love with you."

The middle-aged lover stood bending forward, his face impatiently eager

and his attitude as stiffly alert as that of a bird dog when the quail

scent strikes into its nostrils.

"I've accepted all you had to give," she said with the manner of one in

the confessional, "and I never stopped to think that you might want

something more than I was giving." Still he waited and she hurriedly

talked on. "I must be honest with you. I owe you many debts, but that

comes first of all. I've tried to forget--tried with every particle of

resolution in me--but I can't. I still love him. I think I'll always

love him."

Tollman bowed. He made no impassioned protest and offered no reminder

that the man who still held her affection had proven himself an

apostate, but he said quietly. "I had hoped the scar was healed,

Conscience, for your own sake as well as mine. So long as I knew it hurt

you, I didn't speak."

For the first time in months tears started to her eyes and she felt

that she was wounding one who had practiced great self-sacrifice. He

spoke no more of his hopes until some time after the news came of

Stuart's participation in scandal.

At first Conscience instinctively refused that news credence, but in

many subtle and convincing ways corroboration drifted in and her father,

with his prosecutor's spirit, pieced the fragments together into an

unbroken pattern. Until this moment there had lurked in Conscience's

heart a faint ghost of hope that somehow the breach would be healed,

that Stuart would return. Now even the ghost was dead. She was sick,

unspeakably sick: with the heart-nausea of broken hope and broken faith.

Much of what she heard might be untrue, but it seemed established beyond

doubt that from her and from his early ideals--like the oath of Arthur's

knights--he had gone to careless living. He had played lightly with a

woman's honor and his own, and had not come out of the matter unsoiled.

Now nothing mattered much and if Tollman claimed the reward of his

faithfulness and her father would died happier for it why should she

refuse to consider them?

In these days the old man's urgency of Tollman's suit was rarely

silenced, but one afternoon he pitched it to a new key, and the girl's

habitual expression of weariness gave way to one of startled amazement.

"Of one phase of the matter," he said, "I have never spoken. I refrained

because Eben was unwilling that you should know, but justice is

justice--you should honor your benefactor."

"Honor my benefactor? I don't understand."

The old man shook his lion-like head and, out of the parchment of his

bony face, his eyes burned grimly.

"This house--this farm--all of it--we have only by the sufferance of

Eben's generosity, and yet I've heard men call him close."

Conscience thought that she had lost the possibility of being stunned,

but now she sat speechless as her father continued.

"I never was a competent business man and I put affairs in Eben's hands

too late. He concealed from me how dire my straits were--and our income

continued--but it was coming out of his resources--not mine. If Tollman

had chosen to demand payment, we would have been wiped out."

"How long have you known this?"

"Since shortly after my affliction came upon me."

Conscience moved over and stood by the window. She pressed her temples

with her finger tips and spoke in a dead quiet. "You have known--all

that time--and you never told me. You have urged his suit and you never

let me guess that my suitor had already--bought me and paid for me."

With a low and bitter laugh--or the fragment of a laugh, she turned and

left the room.

After weeks of patient silence, Tollman asked once more, "Conscience, is

there still no hope for me?" To his surprise she met his questioning

gaze very directly and answered,

"That depends on your terms."

"I make no terms," he hastened to declare. "I only petition."

"If you ask a wife who can be a real wife to you--who can give you all

her love and life--then the answer must still be no," she went on

steadily with something like a doggedness of resignation. "I can't lie

to you. I have only a broken heart. Beyond friendship and gratitude, I

have nothing to offer you. I can't even promise that I will ever stop

loving--him. But--" her words came with the flatness of unending

soul-fag--"I suppose I can give you the lesser things; fidelity,

respect; all the petty allegiance that can go on without fire or

spirit."

"I will take what you can give me," he declared, and at the sudden ring

of autumnal ardor in his voice and the avid light in his eyes, she found

herself shivering with fastidious distaste. She did not read the eyes

with full understanding, yet instinctively she shrank, for they held the

animal craving of a long-suppressed desire--the physical love of a man

past his youth which can satisfy itself with mere possession. "I will

take what you can give me, and I shall win your love in the end. I have

no fear; no doubts. I lack the lighter charms of a youthful cavalier,

but I believe I have still the strength and virility of a man." He

swelled a little with the strutting spirit of the mating male. "You will

learn that my heart is still the heart of a boy where you are conceded

and that our life won't be a shadowed thing."

"I must have time to think," she said faintly. "I don't--don't know

yet."

Driven by wanderlust and an unappeasable discontent, Stuart Farquaharson

had been in many remote places. Around those towns which were Meccas for

tourists he made wide detours. His family had jealously kept its honor

untarnished heretofore and though he bore himself with a stiffer outward

pride than ever, he inwardly felt that fingers of scandal were pointing

him out, through no misdeed of his own. Now he was back in Cairo from

the Sudan and the upper Nile, almost as brown and hard of tissue as the

Bedouins with whose caravans he had traveled and for the first time in

many weeks he could regain touch with his mail. That was a matter of

minor importance, but his novel had come from the press on the day he

sailed out of New York harbor and perhaps there awaited him at

Shepheard's some report from his publisher. That gentleman had predicted

success with an abundant optimism. Stuart himself had been sceptical.

Now he would know.

He sent his luggage ahead and drifted on foot with the tide. What a

place this would be, he reflected, to idle time away with the

companionship of love. His eyes narrowed painfully with a memory of how

Conscience and he had once talked of spending a honeymoon in Egypt. That

seemed as long ago as the age of Egypt itself and yet not long enough to

have lost its sting. Grunting and lurching along the asphalt, with bells

tinkling from their trappings, went a row of camels and camel-riders.

They threaded their unhurried way on cushioned hoofs through a traffic

of purring roadsters and limousines. Drawn by undersized stallions, an

official carriage clattered by. Its fez-crowned occupant gazed

superciliously out as the gaudily uniformed members of his _kavasse_ ran

alongside yelling to the crowds to make way for the Pasha! Fakirs led

their baboons, magicians carried cobras in wicker trays, and peddlers

hawked their scarabs and souvenirs. Against the speckless overhead blue,

rose the graceful domes and minarets of mosques and the fringed tops of

palms.

Farquaharson lightly crossed the terrace at Shepheard's Hotel and

traversed the length of the hall to the office at its back where mail is

distributed. For him there was a great budget and he carried it out to

one of the tables on the awninged terrace which overlooks the street.

Yes, here was the publisher's note. He tore the envelope. "You have

become famous," began his enthusiastic sponsor. "The thing has been a

knockout--the presses are groaning."

He read that letter and turned to others. A dramatist wished to convert

his book into a play ... several magazines wanted to know when his next

story would be complete ... two or three clipping bureaus wished to

supply him with the comments of the press ... many of the missives bore

the marks of much forwarding. Some had followed him half way around the

world. Then at the bottom of the pile he found a small but thickly

filled envelope. As it peeped out at him from under others his heart

leaped wildly and he seized it. It was addressed in the hand of

Conscience Williams. She had written to him! Why should she write except

to tell him he might come back? Cairo was a wonderful place! The entire

world was a wonderful place! A street fakir thrust a tray of scarabs up

from the sidewalk and grinned. Farquaharson grinned back and tossed him

_backsheesh_. Then he opened his missive. A young British army officer

looked on idly from the next table, amused at the boyish enthusiasm of

the American. As the American read the officer saw the delight die out

of his eyes and the face turn by stages to the seeming of a mummy.

Conscience had written a letter in which she suggested that, now at

least, they might say farewell in all friendliness. She was going to

marry Tollman, to whose great kindness she paid a generous tribute. The

date was not set but it would be some time that winter.

"I've had a great deal of time to think and little else to do, Stuart,"

she wrote, and at this point the penmanship had suffered somewhat in its

steadiness. "We have both had some troublesome times, but isn't there a

great deal we can remember of each other with pleasure? Can't it be a

memory which we need not avoid? I was bitterly rebellious and

heart-broken when you ignored the note in which I asked you, as humbly

as I could, to come back, but that is over now--"

_A note which asked him to come back!_ The letter fell from

Farquaharson's fingers. His hands themselves fell limp to the table. He

sat stupefied--staring and licking his lips.

The English officer rose and came over, dropping a kindly hand on his

shoulder.

"I beg pardon, sir," he said, "but are you ill? Can't I get a nip of

brandy?"

Stuart turned his head stupidly and looked up. Then slowly he pulled

himself together, with a shamed realization that the eyes of a hundred

pleasure-seekers had witnessed his collapse. He straightened and set his

jaw. "No, thank you. I'm all right," he declared. "I've been in the

desert, you see, and--" But the Englishman had nodded and gone back to

his table.

Ten minutes later, scornful of over-sea tolls, Farquaharson was filing a

cablegram. The letter had said she would be married "some time in the

winter." It was now past mid-winter. Would there be time? His hand

trembled with his haste as if the saving of a few seconds could avail.

"Received no note from you. Wrote to you that night begging a

chance," he scribbled, as his head swam with the effort and frenzy

of his suspense. "Horrible mistake has occurred. Matter of life and

death and thousand times more than that that you take no step till

I see you. Am sailing by first boat. Wait."

That afternoon he dashed across the gangplank of a P. and O. steamer at

Alexandria just as the last whistle blew. While the propellers churned

the Mediterranean waters into a restless wake at the stern, Stuart

walked the decks like a man demented. Would there be time? His fingers

itched for his watch, because his obsession was the flight of hours. But

on the second day out a wireless message came, relaying from Cairo. The

man did not dare open it on deck. He took it to his cabin and there with

the slowness of deep fear, he unfolded the paper.

The Tyranny of Weakness · 第 12 / 33 章