Mr. Gregory's attentions had become an accepted fact in my life. They
were dignified and steadfast, and I received them with a certain calm
pleasure. They had not, as yet, reached the point of declaration, but it
was clear to me, and to everyone else, who knew anything about the
matter, that they were tending thither, and my own thought had reached
the point of acceptance. I had the greatest respect for him as a man; we
were congenial in our tastes, and personally agreeable to one another.
The position he had to offer me was a most dignified, desirable one, as
he was not only a man of sterling integrity, but also a man of wealth;
there was, in short, everything in favor of the alliance, and I looked
upon it quietly, but with a sense of substantial, and steadfast comfort.
Such an event as a marriage cannot even in prospect, face a thoughtful
woman without making a great change in her life. Mr. Gregory was that
type of man who ought not to be allowed to offer himself in a direction
where there was no intention of acceptance, for his character and age--he
was fifty or more--forbade all thought of lightness or trifling, and gave
one the assurance that any marked attention he might show, was
significant. My acquaintance with him had extended over several years,
and during this period there had been abundant opportunity, on both
sides, for study of character.
In a quiet way, I had been arranging my affairs, preparatory to my
expected change in manner of life. I had, as a matter of course, done
considerable thinking during this time. I had experienced none of the
rapture always associated with a romantic attachment, but I was quietly
happy, and this condition was a far more natural one for me, with my
cool, matter-of-fact temperament--a far more promising one, in respect to
future enjoyment, I felt, than something more ecstatic.
I had seen but little of Mr. Chance for some weeks. He had called
several times, but on each of these occasions, we had passed a somewhat
constrained, and I thought, a rather dull evening. Just why this
constraint should have crept into our intercourse when we seemed to be
coming to a better understanding than heretofore, and were beginning to
enjoy a warmer degree of friendship than we had known, I could not
understand; but its presence was undeniable, and it spoiled everything
for me, as far as he was concerned, causing me to look upon his calls in
the light of a bore, rather than as a pleasure, as I once had done.
Occasionally a memory of that evening when he came to my rescue, as the
hungry, cruel waves gathered like wolves about me, would flit across my
mind, as a shadow may flit across a sunlit hill. Once in a long while I
found myself dwelling upon the look he gave me that night, and this, and
the memory of his touch, as he lifted me off the pier, would dim the
sunshine of my cheerfulness. I could not have explained this to myself,
and I never dwelt upon the thought; whether from disinclination, or from
fear, I could not tell. I only knew that I always turned from it
abruptly, and passed on to my plans affecting my life with Mr. Gregory.
It was quite easy to plan in this direction, for there was nothing
uncertain, as there might have been in the case of a younger man. Mr.
Gregory was fixed in his tastes, and way of life; I, too, at my age, had
formed settled habits, and this he knew; but, fortunately, in most
directions, we were in harmony, and where we were not, we had fallen
into a way of making certain concessions.
So I had matters pretty well laid out; all my theories, born of years
of close observation of affairs domestic, were now brought to bear on my
own future. Secretly I esteemed myself a competent cook, when a husband
was the dish under discussion. Mr. Gregory was not one to require any
very complicated wisdom in the culinary art. A little gentle stewing; no
strong seasoning; no violent changes or methods of any sort; but
regularity, evenness; quiet affection; respect; comfort, and general
conformance to taste and nature would be necessary, and I felt myself
fully equal to it all.
Matters had well-nigh culminated, for I had received a note from Mr.
Gregory asking when I would be at home to him, and saying that he had a
matter of great moment to both of us, to lay before me. I set an
evening, and then awaited his coming without the slightest quickening of
my pulse, but with a serenity and cheerfulness that appealed to my
common sense as the surest forecast of happiness.
Just at this juncture, a swift turn of the wind-cock, or some
imprudence of diet, resulted in my taking cold--a most unusual procedure
for me, and at the time of Mr. Gregory's call I was unable to see him,
being confined to my bed, in the care of a doctor, who was fighting a
case of threatened pneumonia.
Mr. Gregory expressed his sincere regret, and the next day called again,
and left flowers. These attentions were repeated daily, and soon after
hearing of my improvement, he wrote me a letter in which he said that
which he had intended to say on the evening of the day I fell ill. He
did not request a reply; in fact, he asked me to withhold my answer
until I should be able to see him in person. It would have been wiser,
perhaps, he said, to have postponed any word on the subject until I had
recovered, but he had found it difficult to delay the expression of his
feeling toward me, and hence had written.
This last rather surprised me, for Mr. Gregory had always seemed so
unlikely to be swayed by impulse, or carried, in the slightest degree,
beyond a point indicated by his judgment. It simply went to prove that
the most regularly and smoothly laid-out man, if one may so express it,
has unsuspected crooks and turns.
I had no desire to answer the letter, being perfectly able and willing
to wait until I should see him. In fact, instead of hastening the time
for my acceptance, I rather delayed it, for I reached a point in my
convalescence, when I was able to go down to the parlor, had I so
wished, and still did not.
Each day of my illness, a lovely bouquet of flowers had been left at my
door. They came direct from the greenhouse, and were left without card,
or sign of the giver. I had an eccentric little friend who was quite
devoted to me, and was fond of keeping her left hand in darkest
ignorance of the performances of its counterpart--the right hand--and I
attributed this delicate and beautiful token of sympathy and affection
to her; but, for some inexplicable reason, every morning when the
flowers were brought to my room, and I took them in my hand, a strange
feeling came over me--a feeling I had never had toward my little friend.
Over two weeks had passed, and I was downstairs in the study. My nurse
had gone out, my housekeeper was busy, and I was very lonely. I was
standing at the window, looking westward. The sun had gone down in regal
splendor. Some fete was in progression in the sky, for the attendants of
the god of day were resplendent in attire. They had been marshalled from
all quarters of the heavens, and their stately and solemn procession,
brilliant with the most gorgeous red, royal purple, and dazzling gold,
had caused my heart to dilate with awe and reverential admiration.
The lake, stirred by the wonderful pageant, caught the many hues as they
dropped from heaven, and tossed them on high in joyous, iridescent
waves.
The climax of majesty and beauty was reached, and then the convocation
broke up--not suddenly, but slowly, and with gracious dignity. The sun
sank into the waiting arms of the unknown; the lights of heaven faded,
and the clouds slowly melted into dusk.
The scene had stirred me as I am seldom stirred, and with the oncoming
of night new thoughts and feelings rose from their lair, as strange and
beautiful wild animals step from their caves into the deep mystery of
darkness.
My neighbor next door--Mrs. Thrush, sat on her broad, vine-clad gallery,
rocking her little child in her arms. By her side sat her husband, with
one arm thrown across her lap. He had laid his paper down, for the
daylight was fading, and perhaps his thought was too happy to stoop to
daily news. Softly the little wife and mother sang; she had a sweet home
voice, and no music of orchestra ever moved me as did her lullaby.
I was at that moment an intensely lonely woman. I thought of Mr.
Gregory and my future, and still I was lonely.
Far away to the east there was a low, long bank of clouds like a
mountain range, and as the poetry and melody of the lullaby rose from
the little nest on my left, and stole into my thought, I saw a faint
light above this line; then a group of mist-like clouds that moved
toward me. Slowly the gray haze, tinged with soft light, began to
resolve itself into shadowy forms, and my heart stood still as, in some
vague way, I traced a connection between the lullaby and the vision, and
realized that a message was coming to me.
I was perfectly calm, but with the calmness which is the outgrowth of an
excitement so tense that it is still. As the vision floated nearer, I
heard soft music--a crooning, yearning, soul-satisfying lullaby; I saw a
little child, a mother, and a father. The child was as beautiful as an
angel, and there was that in its face which made my eyes flood with
tears, and my heart ache with yearning; the faces of the parents were
too vague for me to recognize at first; then slowly, that of the mother
became more distinct, and I saw _myself_ before me--myself, a wife and
mother; the visible answer to my heart's deepest, most secret cry. Still
the father's face was hidden, but as the vision floated by, he turned
and looked at me--the vision wife--with a look I had seen before, and I
uttered a cry as I recognized _Randolph Chance_.