BRIGHAM
If his strategic victory over Henry Lee had given Bowles, the pseudo
cowboy, any swelled-up ideas about taking the Bat Wing outfit by storm,
he was promptly undeceived when he went up against Gloomy Gus, the cook.
Gus had set the sour dough for men old enough to be Mr. Bowles'
grandfather; men who were, so he averred, the superiors of any punchers
now living and conspicuously prompt at their meals. In striking contrast
to these great souls, Bowles had lingered entirely too long up at the
big house; and when, after tying up his horse and feeding him some of
Mr. Lee's long-treasured hay, he came dragging up to the chuck-wagon,
the hour of grace had passed. Gloomy Gus was reclining beside his fire
in converse with a red-headed cowboy, and neither of them looked up.
"Ah, pardon me," began Mr. Bowles, with perhaps a trace of condescension
in his voice; "can you tell me where I will find the cook?"
The red-headed cowboy sat like a graven image, with his eyes fixed on
the fire, and finally the cook replied.
"You'll find him right here, Mister," he said, "from four o'clock in the
mornin' till sundown--and then, by grab, he quits!"
The injured emphasis with which this last was enunciated left no doubt
as to the identity of the speaker, and Bowles murmured polite regrets;
but, coming as he did from a land where cooks are not kings, he
continued with the matter in hand.
"So sorry," he purled, "if I am a little late; but Mr. Lee told me to
come down here and ask you to give me some dinner."
"Huh!" grunted the cook. "Did you hear that, Brigham?"
The cowboy nodded gravely and squinched his humorous eyes at the fire.
He was a burly young man, dressed for business in overalls and jumper,
but sporting a big black hat and a fine pair of alligator-topped boots;
and from the way his fat cheeks wrinkled up it was evident he was
expecting some fun.
The cook regarded Bowles for a minute with evident disapproval; then he
raised himself on one elbow and delivered his ultimatum.
"Well, Mr. Man," he rasped, making his manner as offensive as possible,
"you go back and tell Mr. Lee that I won't give you no dinner. Savvy? Ef
you'd come round when you first rode in I might've throwed you out
somethin', but now you can rustle yore own grub."
At these revolutionary remarks, Mr. Bowles started, and for a moment he
almost forgot his breeding; then he withdrew into himself, and let the
gaucherie pass with the contempt which it deserved. But it is hard to be
dignified when you are hungry, and after several minutes of silence he
addressed himself to the cowboy.
"Excuse me," he said, "but is there any other place nearby where I could
buy a little food?"
"W'y, no, stranger," returned the cowboy amiably; "I don't reckon there
is. Why don't you pick up a little around here? They's some coffee in
that pot."
He nodded toward a large black coffee-pot that stood simmering by the
fire, and Bowles cast a questioning glance at the cook.
"Hop to it!" exclaimed that dignitary, not a little awed by the
stranger's proud reserve. "They's some bread in that can up there."
But still Bowles was helpless.
"Er--where do you eat?" he inquired, looking about for some sign of a
table, or even of a plate and cup.
"Anywhere!" answered the cook, with a large motion of the hand. Then, as
his guest still stood staring, he wearily rose to his feet. Without a
word, he reached down into a greasy box and grabbed out a tin plate and
cup; from another compartment he fished forth a knife, fork and spoon;
with a pot-hook he lifted the cover of an immense Dutch oven, thumped an
oil-can half-full of cooked beans, and slopped a little coffee out of
the pot. Then he let down the hinged door to his chuck-box, spread a
clean white flour sack on it, laid out the dishes with elaborate
solicitude, and slumped down again by the fire. Nothing said--and the
cowboy sat nerveless in his place--but Mr. Bowles felt rebuked. He was a
tenderfoot--an Easterner masquerading as a cowboy--and every movement of
the sardonic pot-tender was calculated to rub it in and leave him, as it
did, in a welter of rage and shame.
From the oil-can be dipped out some beans; he poured coffee and ate in
silence, not daring to ask for butter or sugar lest he should still
further reveal his ignorance; and when he had finished his meal he
slipped away and went out to look at his horse. A piano was tinkling up
at the big house, and the stars were very bright, but neither stars nor
music could soothe his wounds, and at last he went back to the fire. The
cook was gone now, and the cowboy also; the big noise was in the long,
low building from which so many heads had appeared when he rode in from
Chula Vista. He paused at the doorway, and listened; then, bracing
himself for the hazing which was his due, he knocked.
"Come in!" yelled a raucous voice in an aside to the general uproar.
"Come in here----No, by thunder, you played a seven! Well, where is it,
then? Show me, pardner; I'm from Missou'. If you played the jack, where
is it?"
Bowles pushed open the door, that scraped and sagged as he shoved it,
and stepped into a room that was exactly posed for one of those
old-fashioned pictures labeled "Evil Associates; or The First Step
Toward Destruction." At a long table, upon which burned a smoky lamp, a
group of roughly dressed men were wrangling over a game of cards, while
other evil-doers looked over their shoulders and added to the general
blasphemy. A growth of beard, ranging anywhere from three days' to a
week's, served to give them all a ferocious, cave-dweller appearance;
and so intent were they on their quarrel that not a man looked up. If
Bowles had expected to be the center of the stage, it was from an
exaggerated sense of his own importance, for so lightly was he held that
no one so much as glanced at him--with the single exception of the
red-headed cowboy, who was playing a mouth-organ in the corner--until
the missing jack was produced.
A wooden bunk, built against the wall, was weighed down with a sprawling
mass of long-limbed men; on the floor the canvas-covered beds of the
cowboys were either thrown flat or still doubled up in rolls; and the
only other furniture in sight was the two benches by the table and a hot
stove that did yeoman service as a cuspidor. The air was thick with the
smoke of cigarettes, and those who did not happen to be smoking were
chewing plug tobacco, but the thing which struck Bowles as most
remarkable was the accuracy with which they expectorated. A half oil-can
filled with ashes served as a mark on the farther side; and the big,
bull-voiced puncher who had so casually bid him come in was spitting
through a distant knot-hole, which was rapidly becoming the center of a
"Texas Flag."
Really, it was astounding to Bowles, even after all he had read and seen
enacted on the films, to observe the rude abandon of these Western
characters, and particularly in their speech. Somehow the Western tales
he had read had entirely failed to catch the startling imagery of their
vernacular--or perhaps the editors had cut it out. The well-known
tendency toward personal violence, however, was ever present, and as
Bowles made bold to overlook the game a controversy sprang up which
threatened to result in bloodshed.
The bull-voiced man--a burly, hook-nosed Texan, who answered to the name
of Buck--was playing partners with a tall, slim, quiet-spoken puncher
who centered all his thoughts on the cards; and against them were ranged
a good-natured youth called Happy Jack and the presumptuous cowboy who
had offered to kiss Dixie Lee. The game was fast, proceeding by signs
and grunts and mysterious knocks on the table, and as it neared its
close and each man threw down his cards with a greater vehemence, Happy
Jack flipped out three final cards and made a grab for the matches. But
this did not suit the ideas of the bull moose and his partner, and they
rose from their seats with a roar.
"What you claim?" demanded Buck, laying a firm hand on the stakes.
"High, low, and the game!" answered Happy Jack wrathfully.
"You ain't got no game," put in the quiet puncher. "Why don't you play
yore hand out instead of makin' a grab?"
"Here now!" spoke up Dixie Lee's miscreant friend, leaning half-way
across the table. "You-all quit jumpin' on Happy or I'll bust you on the
_cabezon_!"
"Yes, you will!" sneered Buck, shoving his big head closer, as if to
dare the blow. "You don't look bad to me, Hardy Atkins, and never did;
and don't you never think for a moment that you can run it over me and
Bill, because you cain't! Now you better pull in that ornery face of
yourn while it's all together--and we're goin' to count them cards, by
this-and-that, if it's the last act!"
So they raged and wrangled, apparently on the very verge of a personal
conflict; but as the play wore on Bowles became increasingly aware of a
contemptuous twinkle that dwelt in the eyes of the man called Hardy
Atkins. Then it came over him suddenly that other eyes were upon him;
and instantly the typical Western scene was wrecked, and he saw himself
made the fool. No burst of ruffianly laughter gave point to the
well-planned jest--it passed over as subtly as a crisis in high
society--but as he turned away from the game Bowles found himself in
possession of a man-sized passion. Back where he came from an open,
personal hatred was considered a little _outre_; but the spirit of the
wilds had touched him already, and Hardy Atkins, the green-eyed,
familiar friend of Dixie Lee, was the man that he hoped would choke.
As interest in the pitch game languished and a scuffle made the bunk
untenable, stray cowboys began to drift outside again, some to seek out
their beds beneath the wagon-sheds and others to foregather about the
fire. First among these was the red-headed man called Brigham; and when
Bowles, after sitting solitary for a while, followed after them, he
found Brigham the center of attraction. Perched upon an upturned box,
and with one freckled hand held out to keep the firelight from his eyes,
he was holding forth with a long story which had everybody listening.
"And I says to this circus feller," he was saying, "'Well, I ain't never
done no bareback work, but if you cain't git no one else to jump through
them hoops I'll guarantee to take the pretty outer _one_ of 'em. But you
be mighty p'ticular to pop that whip of yourn, pardner,' I says to the
ring-master, 'or that ol' rockin'-hawse will git away from me.'"
He cocked one eye up to see if Bowles was listening, and then indulged
in a reminiscent chuckle.
"Well, I climbed up on that ol' rockin'-hawse--I was dressed like a
clown, of course--and after the regular people had gone round the ring I
come rackin' along out of the side-tent, a-bowin' to all the ladies and
whistlin' to all the dogs, until you'd think I was goin' to do wonders.
But all the kids was on, and they begin to laugh and throw peanuts,
because they knowed the clown was bound to git busted--that's what the
rascal is paid fer. Well, we went canterin' around the ring, me and that
old white hawse that had been doin' it for fifteen years, and every time
we come to a hoop I'd make my jump--the ring-master would pop his
whip--and when I come squanderin' out the other side the old hawse would
be right there to ketch me. Trick he had--he'd slow down and kinder wait
fer me--but that dogged ring-master put up a job on me--he shore did;
but the scoundrel tried to lie out of it afterwards.
"You see, them people that come out to Coney they expect somethin' fer
their money, and bein' as I was only the fill-in man and the other
feller was comin' back anyway, the management decided to ditch me. So
when I made a jump at my last hoop the ring-master forgot to pop his
whip--or so he said--and I come down on my head and like to killed me.
Well, sir, the way them people hollered you'd think the king had come,
an' when a couple of fool clowns come runnin' out and carried me off on
a shutter they laughed till they was pretty nigh sick. That's the way it
is at Coney Island--unless somebody is gittin' killed, them tight-wads
won't spend a cent."
The red-headed raconteur laughed a little to himself, and, seeing his
audience still attentive, he launched out into another.
"Yes, sir!" he began. "That's a great place--old Coney. You boys that's
never been off the range don't know what it is you've missed. There's
side shows, and circuses, and shoot-the-chutes, and whirley-go-rounds,
and Egyptian seeresses, and hot-dog joints, and--well, say, speakin' of
hot-dog reminds me of the time I took the job of spieler fer Go-Go, the
dog-faced boy. This here Go-Go was a yaller nigger that they had rigged
up like a cannibal and put in a big box along with a lot of dehorned
rattlesnakes, Gila monsters, and sech. It was my job to stand up over
the box, while the ballyhoo man outside was pullin' 'em in, and pop a
whip over this snake-eatin' cannibal, and let on like he was tryin' to
escape. I had a little old pistol that I'd shoot off, and then Go-Go
would rattle his chain and yell '_Owww-wah!_' like he was sure eatin'
'em alive.
"That was the barker's cue, and he'd holler out: 'Listen to the wild
thing! He howls, and howls, and howls! Go-Go, the wild boy, the
snake-eatin' Igorotte from the Philippines! Step right in, ladies and
gentlemen! The price is ten cents, one dime, the tenth part of a
dollar----' and all that kind of stuff, until the place was filled up.
Then it was my turn to spiel, and I'd git up on the box, with a
blacksnake in one hand and that little old pistol in the other, and say:
"'La-adies and gentle-men, before our performance begins I wish to say a
few words relatin' to Echigogo Cabagan, the wild boy of Luzon. This
strange creature was captured by Lieutenant Crawford, of the
Seventy-ninth Heavy Artillery, in the wilds of the Igorotte country in
the Philippines. At the time of his recovery he was livin' in the
tropical jungles, never havin' seen a human face, an' subsistin'
entirely upon poisonous reptyles, which was his only pets and
companions. So frequently was he bit by these venomous reptyles that
Professor Swope, of the Philadelphia Academy, after a careful analysis
of his blood, figgers out that it contains seven fluid ounces of the
deadly poison, or enough to kill a thousand men.
"'On account of the requests of the humane society, the mayor, and
several prominent ladies now present in the audience, we will do our
best to prevent Go-Go from eatin' his snakes alive but----' and right
there was the nigger's cue to come in.
"'_Oww-wah!_' he'd yell, shakin' his chain and tearin' around in his
box, '_Ow-woo-wah_!' And then he'd grab up them pore, sufferin'
rattlesnakes and sech, and quile 'em around his neck, and snap his teeth
like he was bitin' heads off--and me, I'd pop my whip and shoot off my
pistol, and scare them fool people most to death.
"Well, that was the kind of an outfit it was, and one day when the
nigger was quieted down between acts and playin' with a rag-doll we had
give him in order to make him look simple-minded-like, a big, buck Injun
from the Wild West Show come in with the bunch and looked at Go-Go
kinder scary-like. You know----"
A noise of scuffling feet made the story-teller pause, and then the gang
of card players came tumbling out of the bunk-house.
"Let's roast some ribs," said one.
"No, I want some bread and lick," answered another.
"What's the matter with aigs?" broke in a third.
"Say, you fellers shut up, will you?" shouted a man by the fire. "Old
Brig's tellin' us a story!"
"Oh, git 'im a chin-strap," retorted the bull-voiced Buck. "I want some
ribs!"
"Well, keep still, can't ye?" appealed the anxious listener; but silence
was not on the cards. The chuck-box was broken open and ransacked for a
butcher-knife; then as Buck went off to trim away the ribs of the cook's
beef, Hardy Atkins and his friends made merry with the quiet company.
"Ridin' 'em again, are you, Brigham?" inquired Happy Jack with a grin.
"No, he's divin' off'n that hundred-foot pole!" observed Poker-faced
Bill sardonically.
"And never been outside the Territory!" commented Hardy Atkins _sotto
voce_.
Something about this last remark seemed to touch the loquacious Brigham,
for he answered it with spirit:
"Well, that's more than some folks can say," he retorted. "I sure never
run no hawse race with the sheriff out of Texas!"
"No, you pore, ignorant Jack Mormon," jeered Atkins; "and you never rode
no circus hawse at Coney Island, neither. I've seen fellers that knowed
yore kinfolks down on the river, and they swore to Gawd you never been
outside of Arizona. More'n that, they said you was a worser liar than
old Tom Pepper--and he got kicked out of hell fer lyin'."
A guffaw greeted this allusion to the fate of poor old Tom; but Brigham
was not to be downed by comparisons.
"Yes," he drawled; "I heerd about Tom Pepper. I heerd say he was a
Texican, and the only right smart one they was; and the people down
there was so dog ignorant, everything he told 'em they thought it was a
lie. Built up quite a reputation that way--like me, here. Seems like
every time I tell these Arizona Texicans anything, they up and say I'm
lyin'."
He ran his eye over his audience and, finding no one to combat him
further, he lapsed into a mellow philosophy.
"Yes," he said, cocking his eye again at Bowles; "I'm an ignorant kind
of a feller, and I don't deny it; but I ain't one of these men that
won't believe a thing jest because I never seen it. Now, here's a
gentleman here--I don't even know his name--but the chances are, if he's
ever been to Coney, he'll tell you my stories is nothin'."
"How about that hundred-foot pole?" inquired Poker Bill, as Bowles bowed
and blushed.
"Yes, sure!" agreed Brigham readily. "We'll take that one now and let it
go fer the bunch. If that's true, they're all true, eh?"
"That's me!" observed Bill laconically.
"All right, then, stranger," continued Brigham. "We'll jest leave the
matter with you, and if what I said ain't true I'll never open my head
again. I was tellin' these pore, ignorant Texas cotton-pickers that back
at Coney Island they was a feller that did high divin'--ever see
anything like that? All right, then, this is what I told 'em. I told 'em
this divin' sport had a pole a hundred foot high, with a tank of water
at the bottom six foot deep and mebbe ten foot square, and when it come
time he climbed up to the top and stood on a little platform, facin'
backwards and lookin' into a pocket mirror. Then he begun to lean over
backwards, and finally, when everything was set, he threw a flip-flap
and hit that tank a dead center without hurtin' himself a bit. Now, how
about it--is that a lie?"
He looked up at Bowles with a steady gaze; and that gentleman did not
fail him.
"Why, no," he said; "really, I see no reason to doubt what you say. Of
course, I haven't been to Coney Island recently, but such events are
quite a common occurrence there."
"Now, you see?" inquired Brigham triumphantly. "This gentleman has been
around a little. Back at Coney them stunts is nothin'! They don't even
charge admission."
"But how can that feller hit the water every time?" argued Bill the
doubter, pressing forward to fight the matter out.
"Don't make no difference how he does it," answered Brigham; "that's
_his_ business. If people knowed how he done it, they wouldn't come to
see 'im no more. By jicks, I'd jest like to take some of you fellers
back to New York and show you some of the real sights. I ain't hardly
dared to open my mouth since I took on with this ignorant outfit, but
now that I got a gentleman here that's been around a little I may loosen
up and tell you a few things."
"Oh, my Joe!" groaned Hardy Atkins, making a motion like fanning bees
from his ears. "Hear the doggone Mormon talk--and never been outer the
Territory! Been pitchin' hay and drinkin' ditch-water down on the Gila
all his life and----"
"That's all right," retorted Brigham stoutly; "I reckon----"
"Well, git out of the way!" shouted the voice of Buck. "And throw down
that frame so I can roast these ribs!"
That ended the controversy for the time, but before the ribs were cooked
Brigham edged in another story--and he proved it by Mr. Bowles. It was a
trifle improbable, perhaps, but Bowles was getting the spirit of the
Great West and he vouched for it in every particular. Then when the ribs
were done he cut some of the scorched meat from the bones, and ate it
half-raw with a pinch of salt, for he was determined to be a true sport.
Buck and Brigham devoured from one to two pounds apiece and gnawed on
the bones like dogs; but Mr. Bowles was more moderate in his desires.
What he really longed for was a bed or a place to sleep; but the
gentleman who had coached him on cowboy life--and sold him his fancy
outfit--had not mentioned the sleeping accommodations, and Bowles was
too polite to inquire. So he hung around until the last story was told,
and followed the gang back to the bunk-house.
Each man went to his big blanket roll and spread it out for the night
without a single glance at the suppliant, for a cowboy hates to share
his bed; but as they were taking off their boots Brigham Clark spoke up.
"Ain't you got no bed, stranger?" he inquired; and when Bowles shook his
head he looked at Hardy Atkins, who as bronco-twister and top-hand held
the job of straw-boss. A silence fell and Bowles glanced about uneasily.
"There's a bed over there in the saddle-room," observed Atkins, with a
peculiar smile.
A startled look went around the room, and then Buck came in on the play.
"Yes," he said, "that feller ain't here now."
"Oh, thank you," began Bowles, starting toward it; but he was halted in
his tracks by a savage oath from Brigham.
"Here!" he ordered. "You come and sleep with me--that's Dunbar's bed!"
"Dunbar's!" exclaimed Bowles with a gasp. "Ah, I see!" And with a secret
shudder he turned away from the dead man's bed and crept in next to
Brigham.