V.

Before evening 'twas known through Ardevora that the Parson's votes and

interests had been booked by the Tories; which, of course, only made the

Church rebels (as you might call them) the more set on standing by their

conversion and voting for the Whigs. Nobody could tell their numbers for

certain, but nobody put them down under twenty; and both the Doctor and

Mr. Saule called on Kitty that evening with faces like fiddles. But Kitty

wasn't to be daunted. "My dears," she said, "if the worst comes to the

worst, and you can't win these votes back by four o'clock to-morrow,

I've a stocking full of guineas at your service; and I ha'n't lived in

Ardevora all this while without picking up the knowledge how to spend 'em;

and _that's_ at your service too. But we'll try a cheaper way first,"

says she, smiling to herself very comfortably.

Up at Tregoose they'd put Lord William and the old Squire to bed: and a

score of Whig supporters spent the best part of the evening downstairs in

the dining-room, with Major Dyngwall in the chair, working out the Voters'

List and making fresh calculations. On the whole they felt cheerful

enough, and showed it: but they had to own, first, that the Parson's votes

were almost as bad as lost, whereas the amount of gains couldn't be

reckoned with certainty: and second, that, resting as they did upon a

confusion between religious feeling and the stomach-ache, 'twas important

that Lord William should recover by next morning, show himself about the

town and at the hustings, and clinch the mistake. John a Hall, who had a

head on his shoulders when parsons weren't concerned, shook it at this.

He didn't believe for a moment that Lord William could be brought up to

the poll; and as it turned out, he was right. But towards the end of the

discussion he put forward a very clever suggestion.

"I don't know," says he, "if the Major here's an early riser?"

"Moderately," says Major Dyngwall, looking for the moment as if the

question took him fairly aback. They didn't think much of this at the

time, but it came back to their minds later on.

"Well, then," says John a Hall, "you're all terrible certain about the

Parson's votes being lost; but dang me if I've lost hope of 'em yet.

Though I can't do it myself, I believe the old fool could be handled.

By five in the morning, say, we shall know about Lord William.

If he can't leave his bed--and I'll bet he can't--I suggest that the Major

steps down, pays an early call, and tells Parson the simple truth from

beginning to end."

"An excellent suggestion!" put in Mr. Newte. "I was about to make it

myself. There's nothing like telling the truth, after all: and I'll take

care it doesn't get about the town till the poll's closed."

Well, so it was arranged: and early next morning, after dressing himself

very carefully and making sure that Lord William couldn't leave his room

(he was as yellow as an egg, poor fellow, with a kind of mild janders),

away the Major starts upon his errand, promising to be back by seven, to

be driven down to the poll behind a brass band.

On the stroke of eight, when Roger Newte, as Mayor and Returning Officer,

declared the poll open, down the street came the blue-and-gold band, with

Dr. Macann and Mr. Saule behind it bowing and smiling in a two-horse shay,

and a fine pillaloo of supporters. They cheered like mad to find

themselves first in the field, though disappointed in their hearts

(I believe), having counted on a turn-up with the opposition band, just to

start the day sociably. The Tory candidates climbed the hustings, and

there the Doctor fired off six speeches and Mr. Saule a couple, while the

votes came rolling in like pennies at the door of a menagerie. And still

no sign of the Whigs, nor sound of any band from the direction of

Tregoose. By half-past eight Roger Newte was looking nervous, and began

to send off small boys to hurry his friends up. Towards nine o'clock

Dr. Macann made another speech, and set the crowd roaring with

"'Tis the voice of the sluggard," out of Dr. Watts's hymn-book.

"But I don't even hear his voice!" said he, very facetious-like: and

"Seriously, gentlemen, my Whig friends might be more careful of your

feelings. We know that they consider Ardevora their own: but they might

at least avoid insulting the British Liberty they have injured,"--telling

words, these, I can assure you. "Nor," he went on, "is it quite fair

treatment of our worthy Mayor here, who cannot be expected, single-handed,

to defy you as he defied the Court of King's Bench and treat your votes as

he treated your Rate List." Newte had to stand there and swallow this,

though it was poison to him, and he swore next day he'd willingly spend

ten years in the pit of the wicked for getting quits with Macann.

But what fairly knocked the fight out of him was to see, five minutes

later, old Parson Polsue totter up the steps towards him with a jaw stuck

out like a mule's, and Grandison behind, and all their contingent.

Though made up of Tories to a man, the crowd couldn't help hissing; but it

affected the old Parson not a doit.

"Macann and Saule," said he, speaking up sharp and loud: and at the names

the hissing became a cheer fit to lift the roofs off their eaves.

Newte fairly forgot himself. "Ha--haven't you seen Major Dyngwall this

morning?" he managed to ask.

And with that the crowd below parted, and John a Hall came roaring through

it like a bull.

"Where's the Major? Major Dyngwall! Who's seen Major Dyngwall?"

"Ay, we're all asking that?" called out some person, sarcastic-like: and

all began to laugh and to boo. But John a Hall caught at the rail and

swung himself up the steps.

"You thundering fools!" he bellowed. "Is it foul play that tickles you?

One of our candidates you've contrived to poison, and I've left him at

Tregoose between life and death. What have you done with the other?"

By this time he had the mob fairly hushed and gaping. "What have you done

with the other?" he shouted, banging his fist down on the Returning

Officer's table. "Let Parson Polsue speak first, for to my knowledge the

Major was bound for his lodgings when last seen."

"I haven't set eyes on him," said Parson Polsue.

"I saw him!" piped up a woman in the crowd. "I saw him about six this

morning. He was walking along the foreshore towards Mr. Grandison's."

At this everyone turned to the Curate; but he shook his head.

"Major Dyngwall has not called on me this morning. Indeed, I have not

seen him."

"Then run you and search--half a dozen of you!" commanded John a Hall.

"I'll get to the bottom of this, I warn you. And as for you, Dr. Macann,

and you, Mr. Saule--if you haven't learnt the difference between honest

fighting and poisoning--kidnapping--murder, maybe--"

But he got no further. "That's enough of big words," said a voice, very

quiet, but so that all had to listen: and behold, there was Kitty Lebow

mounting the steps, as cool as cream in a dairy.

She landed on the platform and took a glance about her, and the folk read

in her eye that she had come to enjoy herself. "Reckon I have a right

here so well as the best of you, since you put me on the Rate List," says

she, with a dry sort of twinkle. And with that she rounded on John a

Hall. "I think I heard you talkin' of poison, Mr. Martin," says she,

"not to mention kidnapping, and worse. And you asked, or my ears deceived

me, if we knew the difference between poison and fair play? Well, we do.

And likewise we know the difference between sickness and shamming; and

likewise, again, the difference between making a demonstration in church

and walking out because you've three fingers of White Ale inside you and

it don't lie down with your other vittles. I ask ye, folks all,"--and here

she swung round to the crowd--"did ever one of you hear that Christiana

Lebow's White Ale was poison? Hasn't it been known and famous in this

town before ever a Martin came to trouble us? And hasn't it times and

again steadied my own inside when it rebelled against their attorney's--

tricks? Well now, I tell you, I gave three fingers of it to Lord William

yesterday when he called in the way of politeness on his road to church:

and sorry I am for the young man; and wouldn't ha' done it if I guessed

he'd been taking coffee with his breakfast. For White Ale and coffee be

like Bottrells and Martins: they weren't made to mix. And another three

fingers I doled out to the old Squire, and more by token 'twas the first

time he'd ever darkened my threshold. That's my story: 'tis truth from a

truth-speaking woman. And now if any silly fellow is going to vote Whig

because o' yesterday, all I can say is--let him drink a breakfast cup of

coffee and come to me for a glass of the other stuff; and if in forty

minutes' time he's got any particular concern about Church matters, you

may call me a--a--Martin!"

"That's all very well, ma'am," shouted John a Hall, as soon as he could

make himself heard for the laughing. "But it don't account for the

Major."

"'Twasn't meant to, my son," snapped Kitty, by this time in high good

humour over her success as a public speaker. "But you started to talk

about poison, so I thought I'd correct 'ee before you made a second goose

of yourself over kidnapping."

But just at this moment a couple of men came running and shouting from the

far end of the street.

"We've found 'en! We've found 'en!"

"Where is he _to_?" and "I told you so!" cried John a Hall and Kitty both

in one breath.

"He's over 'pon the Island, making love to Mrs. Lebow's youngest daughter,

Lally! The tide's cut 'em off; but Arch'laus Trebilcock's put off to

fetch 'em home in his new boat!"

I've heard tell that Kitty took it steady as a regiment. It must have

been a dreadful moment, the laughter turning on a sudden against her.

But she stood for a while, and then to the surprise of everyone she lifted

her head and smiled with the best. Then she caught old Polsue's eye, who

was watching her as only a parson can, and, like a woman, she fixed on him

as the man to answer.

"I reckon I can trust a daughter o' mine," says she.

It must have been nervous work for her, though, as they brought the pair

along the street: and poor Lally didn't help her much by looking a picture

of shame. But the Major stepped along gaily and up to the platform;

and I'll warrant a tier of guns there couldn't have tried a man's courage

worse.

"I humbly beg your pardon, madam. The tide cut us off while I was engaged

in persuading your daughter to accept my hand. I cannot tell you,"--here

he let fly a lover's glance at Lally--"if the delay helped me. But she

has accepted me, ma'am, and with your leave we shall be the happiest

couple in England."

They _do_ say that Mrs. Lebow's hand went up to box the poor girl's ears.

But the Bottrells had wits as well as breed, one and all; and it ended by

her giving the Major two fingers and dropping him one of those curtseys

that I've described to you already.

Ay, and the cream of the fun was that, what with her public speaking for

one party and giving her daughter to the other, the doubtful voters

couldn't for the life of them tell how to please her. "I'll vote, if you

please, for Mrs. Lebow," said more than one of them, "if you'll tell me

which side she's for." And I suppose that gave Newte his chance.

At any rate, he returned Lord William and Major Dyngwall as polling 85 and

127 against Dr. Macann 42 and Mr. Saule 36. And so Miss Lally became a

Member of Parliament's wife and rode in her coach.

"Indeed, and I'm sorry for Macann," said Kitty that night, as she untied

her bonnet-strings; "but taking one thing with another, 'tis long since

I've had such an enjoyable day."

[1] Probably "Huguenot's House."

[2] Lineage.