DARKNESS
Full a week later, Frank looked up from his pillow, and said, 'I wonder
when it will be safe to have Mite back. Mary, sweet, what is it? I have
been sure something was burthening you. Come and tell me. If he has the
fever, you must go to him. No!' as she clasped his hand and laid her
face down on the pillow.
'Ah, Frank, he does not want us any more!'
'My Mary, my poor Mary, have you been bearing such knowledge about with
you? For how long?'
'Since that worst day, yesterday week. Oh, but to see you getting better
was the help!'
'Can you tell me?'
She told him, in that low, steady voice, all she knew. It was very
little, for she had avoided whatever might break the composure that
seemed so needful to his recovery; and he could listen quietly, partly
from the lulling effect of weakness, partly from his anxiety for her, and
the habit of self-restraint, in which all the earlier part of their lives
had been passed, made utterance come slowly to them.
'Life will be different to us henceforth,' he once said. 'We have had
three years of the most perfect happiness. He gave and He hath taken
away. Blessed--'
And there he stopped, for he saw the working of her face. Otherwise they
hardly spoke of their loss even to one another. It went down deeper than
they could bear to utter, and their hearts and eyes met if their lips did
not. Only Lord Northmoor lay too dejected to make the steps expected in
the recovery of strength for a few days after the grievous revelation,
and on the day when at last he was placed on a couch by the window, his
wife collapsed, and, almost unconscious, was carried to her bed.
It was not a severe or alarming attack, and all she wanted was to be let
alone; but there was enough of sore throat and other symptoms to prolong
the quarantine, and Lady Adela could no longer be excluded from giving
her aid. She went to and fro between the patients, and comforted each
with regard to the other, telling the one how her husband's strength was
returning, and keeping the other tranquil by the assurance that what his
wife most needed was perfect rest, especially from the necessity of
restraining herself. Those eyes showed how many tears were poured forth
when they could have their free course. Lady Adela had gone through
enough to feel with ready tact what would be least jarring to each. She
had persuaded Bertha to go back to London, both to her many avocations
and to receive Amice, who must still be kept at a distance for some time.
Lord Northmoor, as soon as he had strength and self-command for it, read
poor Mrs. Morton's letters, and also saw Eden, for whom there was little
fear of infection. She managed to tell her history and answer all his
questions in detail, but she quite broke down under his kind tone of
forgiveness and assurance that no blame attached to her, and that he was
only grateful to her for her tender care of his child, and she went away
sobbing pitifully.
Adela came back, after taking her from the room, where Frank was sitting
in an easy-chair by the window, and looking out on the summer garden,
which seemed to be stripped of all its charm and value for him.
'Poor thing,' she said, 'she is quite overcome by your kindness.'
'I do not think any one is more to be pitied,' said he.
'No, indeed, but she wishes you would have heard what she had to say
about the supposing Ida to have gone in that direction.'
'I thought it better not. It would not have exonerated the poor little
maid from carelessness, and there is no use in fostering a sense of
injury or suspicion, when what is done cannot be undone,' he said
wearily.
'Indeed you are quite right,' said Adela earnestly. 'You know how to be
in charity with all men. Oh, the needless misery of hasty unjust
suspicions!' Then as he looked up at her--'Do you know our own story?'
'Only the main facts.'
'I think you ought to know it. It accounts for so much!' said she, moved
partly by the need of utterance, and partly by the sense that the turn of
his thoughts might be good for him. 'You know what a passion for horses
there has always been in this family.'
'I know--I could have had it if my life had begun more prosperously.'
'And you have done your best to save Herbert from it. Well, my Arthur
had it to a great degree; and so indeed had Bertha. They were brought up
to nothing else; Bertha was, I really think, a better judge than her
brother, she was not so reckless. They became intimate with a Captain
Alder, who was in the barracks at Copington--much the nicest, as I used
to think, of the set, though I was not very glad to see an attachment
growing up between him and Bertha. There was always such a capacity of
goodness in her that I longed to see her in the way of being raised
altogether.'
'She has always been most kind to us. There is much to admire in her.'
'Her present life has developed all that is best; but--' She hesitated,
wondering whether the good simple man were sensible of that warp in the
nature that she had felt. She went on, 'Then she was a masterful,
high-spirited girl, to whom it seemed inevitable to come to high words
with any one about whom she cared. And I must say--she and my husband,
while they were passionately fond of one another, seemed to have a sort
of fascination in provoking one another, not only in words but in deeds.
Ah, you can hardly believe it of her! How people get tamed! Well,
Arthur bought a horse, a beautiful creature, but desperately vicious.
Captain Alder had been with him when he first saw it, and admired it; but
I do not think gave an opinion against it. Bertha, however, from the
moment she saw its eyes and ears, protested against it in her vehement
way. I remember imploring her not to make Arthur defy her; but really
when they got into those moods, I don't think they could stop themselves,
and she thought Captain Alder encouraged him. So Arthur went out on that
fatal drive in the dog-cart, and no sooner were they out on the Colbeam
road than the horse bolted, they came into collision with a hay waggon.
And--'
'I know!'
'Captain Alder was thrown on the top of the hay and not hurt. He came to
prepare me to receive Arthur, and then went up to the house. Bertha,
poor girl, in her wild grief almost flew at him. It was all his doing,
she said; he had egged Arthur on; she supposed Arthur had bets. In
short, she knew not what she said; but he left the house, and never has
been near her again.'
'Were they engaged?'
'Not quite formally, but they understood one another, and were waiting
for a favourable moment with old Lord Northmoor, who was not easy to deal
with, and it was far from being a good match anyway. We all thought, I
believe, that the drive was the fault or rather the folly of Captain
Alder, and Arthur was too ill to explain--unconscious at first--then not
rousing himself. At last he asked for his friend, and then he told me
that Captain Alder had done all in his power to prevent his taking the
creature out--had told him he had no right to endanger his life; and when
only laughed at, had insisted on going with him, in hopes, I suppose, of
averting mischief. I wrote--Lord Northmoor wrote to him at his quarters;
but our letters came back to us. We had kept no watch on the gazette,
and he had retired and left no address with his brother-officers. Bertha
knew that his parents were dead, and that he had a sister at school at
Clifton. I wrote to her, but the mistress sent back my letter; and we
found that he had fetched away his sister and gone. Even his money was
taken from Coutts's, as if to cut off any clue.'
'He should not have so attended to a girl in her angry grief.'
'No, but I think there was some self-blame in him, though not about that
horse. I believe he thought he might have checked Arthur more. And he
had debts which he seems to have paid on selling out his capital. So, as
I have told poor Bertha whenever she would let me, there may have been
other reasons besides her stinging words.'
'And it has preyed on her?'
'More than any one would guess who had not known her in old times. I was
glad that you secured that child, Cea, to her. She seems to have
fastened her affections on her.'
'Alder,' presently repeated Frank. 'Alder--I was thinking how the name
had come before me. There were some clients of ours--of Mr. Burford's, I
mean--of that name; I think they sold an estate. Some day I will find
out whether he knows anything about them, and I shall remember more by
and by.'
'It would be an immense relief if you could find out anything good about
the poor fellow,' said Adela, very glad to have found any topic of
interest, and pleased to find that it occupied his thoughts afterwards,
when he asked whether she knew the Christian name of _this_ young man,
without mentioning any antecedent, as if he had been going on with the
subject all the time.
In a few days the pair were able to meet, and to take up again the life
over which a dark veil had suddenly descended, contrasting with the
sunshine of those last few years. To hold up one another, and do their
duty on their way to the better world, was evidently the one thought,
though they said little.
Still neither was yet in a condition to return to ordinary life, and it
was determined that as soon as they were disinfected, they should leave
the house to undergo the same process, and spend a few weeks at some
health resort. Only Mary shuddered at the notion of hearing the sound of
the sea, and Malvern was finally fixed upon. Lady Adela would go with
them, and she wrote to beg that Constance, so soon as her term was over,
might bring Amice thither, to be in a separate lodging at first, till
there had been time to see whether the little girl's company would be a
solace or a trial to the bereaved parents.
Bertha, as soon as the chief anxiety was over, joined Mrs. Bury in a
mountaineering expedition. She declared that she had never dared to
leave Cea before, lest the wretched father, now proved to be a myth,
should come and abstract the child.