Ben ambulato.
(_to Philocrates_) A good journey to you.
_Philocr._
Bene vale.
Good-bye, sir, good-bye!
[EXIT _Tyndarus_ INTO _Hegio’s_ HOUSE.
_Hegio_
Edepol rem meam
constabilivi, quom illos emi de praeda a quaestoribus;
expedivi ex servitute filium, si dis placet,
at etiam dubitavi, hos homines emerem an non emerem, diu.
(_aside, in high spirits_) Well, well, well, it was the
making of me when I bought those two from the commissioners!
I’ve set my son at Liberty, God willing! And to think I
hesitated for a long time whether to buy them or not!
servate istum sultis intus, servi, ne quoquam pedem
ecferat sine custodela. iam ego apparebo domi;
ad fratrem modo captivos alios inviso meos,
eadem percontabor, ecquis hunc adulescentem noverit.
sequere tu, te ut amittam; ei rei primum praevorti volo. 460
(_to overseers_) Please keep an eye on that prisoner
inside there, my lads, and don’t let him set a foot out
here anywhere without a guard. I shall soon be home myself.
I’ll just step over to my brother’s for a look at my other
captives: at the same time I’ll inquire if any one of them
knows this young gentleman. (_to Philocrates_) Come, my man,
so that I may send you off; I want to attend to that first.
[EXEUNT _Hegio_ AND _Philocrates_.
ACTVS III
ACT III
(_An hour has elapsed._)
ENTER _Ergasilus_, MUCH DEPRESSED
_Erg._
Miser homo est, qui ipse sibi quod edit quaerit et id aegre invenit,
sed ille est miserior, qui et aegre quaerit et nihil invenit;
ille miserrimust, qui cum esse cupit, tum quod edit non habet.
nam hercle ego huic die, si liceat, oculos effodiam libens,
ita malignitate oneravit omnis mortalis mihi;
It’s sad when a man has to spend his time looking for his
food and has hard work finding it. It’s sadder, though, when
he has hard work looking for it and doesn’t find it. But
it’s saddest of all when a man is pining to eat, and no food
in range. By gad, if I only could, I’d like to dig the eyes
out of this day, it’s made every living soul so damnably
mean to me!
neque ieiuniosiorem neque magis ecfertum fame
vidi nec quoi minus procedat quidquid facere occeperit,
ita venter gutturque resident esurialis ferias.
ilicet parasiticae arti maximam malam crucem,
ita iuventus iam ridicules inopesque ab se segregat. 470
A more hungriful day, a more bulged-out- with-starvation
day, a more unprogressive day for every undertaking, I never
did see! Such a famine feast as my inside is having! Devil
take the parasitical profession! How the young fellows
nowadays do sheer off from impecunious wits!
nil morantur iam Lacones unisubselli viros,
plagipatidas, quibus sunt verba sine penu et pecunia
eos requirunt, qui libenter, quom ederint, reddant domi;
ipsi obsonant, quae parasitorum ante erat provincia,
ipsi de foro tam aperto capite ad lenones eunt
quam in tribu aperto capite sontes condemnant reos;
neque ridiculos iam terrunci faciunt, sese omnes amant.
Not a bit of use have they nowadays for us Spartans, us
valiant benchenders, us descendants of old Takesacuff, whose
capital is talk without cash and comestibles. The guests
they’re after are the ones that enjoy a dinner and then
like to return the compliment. They do their marketing
themselves, too,--that used to be the parasites’ province--
and away they go from the forum themselves to interview the
pimps, just as barefaced as they are in court when they
condemn guilty defendants. They don’t care a farthing for
wits these days: they’re egoists, every one.
nam uti dudum hinc abii, accessi ad adulescentes in foro.
“salvete” inquam. “quo imus una” inquam “ad prandium?”
atque illi tacent.
“quid ait ‘hoc’ aut quis profitetur?”
inquam. quasi muti silent, 480
neque me rident. “ubi cenamus?” inquam. atque illi abnuont.
Why, when I left here a little while ago, I went up to some
young fellows in the forum. “Good day,” says I. “Where are
we going to lunch together?” says I. Sudden silence. “Who
says: ‘This way’? Who makes a bid?” says I. Dumb as mutes,
didn’t even give me a smile. “Where do we dine?” says I.
A shaking of heads.
dico unum ridiculum dictum de dictis melioribus,
quibus solebam menstruales epulas ante adipiscier:
nemo ridet; scivi extemplo rem de compecto geri;
ne canem quidem irritatam voluit quisquam imitarier,
saltem, si non arriderent, dentes ut restringerent.
I told ’em a funny story--one of my best, that used to find
me free board for a month. Nobody smiled. I saw in a moment
it was a put-up job; not a one of ’em was even willing to
act like a cross dog and at least show their teeth, no
matter if they wouldn’t laugh.
abeo ab illis, postquam video me sic ludificarier;
pergo ad alios, venio ad alios, deinde ad alios: una res.
omnes de compecto rem agunt, quasi in Velabro olearii.
nunc redeo inde, quoniam me ibi video ludificarier. 490
item alii parasiti frustra obambulabant in foro.
I left ’em after I saw I was being made a fool of this way,
up I went to some others, and then to others, and to others
still,--same story. They re all in a combination, just like
the oil dealers in the Velabrum.[C] So here I am back again,
seeing I was trifled with there. Some more parasites were
prowling round the forum all for nothing, too.
[Footnote C: A market district in Rome.]
nunc barbarica lege certumst ius meum omne persequi:
qui consilium iniere, quo nos victu et vita prohibeant,
is diem dicam, inrogabo multam. ut mihi cenas decem
meo arbitratu dent, cum cara annona sit. sic egero.
nunc ibo ad portum hinc: est illic mi una spes cenatica;
si ea decolabit, redibo huc ad senem ad cenam asperam.
Now I’m going to have the foreign law on those chaps and
demand my full rights, I certainly am: it’s conspiracy,
conspiracy to deprive us of sustenance and life, and I’m
going to summon ’em, fine ’em-- make ’em give me ten
dinners, at my discretion, and that will be when food
is dear. That’s how I’ll catch them. (_turning to go_)
Well, now for the harbour. That’s where my one hope is,
gastronomically speaking, if that oozes away, I’ll come
back here to the old man’s terror of a meal.
[EXIT _Ergasilus_, LOOKING IN ALL DIRECTIONS FOR A POSSIBLE
HOST.
III. 2.
Scene 2.
ENTER _Hegio_ WITH _Aristophontes_ AND _Slaves_.
_Hegio_
Quid est suavius, quam bene rem gerere,
bono publico, sic ut ego feci heri,
cum emi hosce homines: ubi quisque vident, 500
eunt obviam gratulanturque eam rem,
ita me miserum restitando
retinendoque lassum reddiderunt:
vix ex gratulando miser iam eminebam.
(_highly pleased with himself_) Now what makes you feel
better than managing your affairs properly and contributing
to the common good, just as I did yesterday in buying
these prisoners? Whenever anyone sees me up he comes and
congratulates me on it! Dear, dear! I was so worn out
with all their stopping and detaining me, it got to be
frightfully hard work emerging from the flood of
felicitations.
tandem abii ad praetorem; ibi vix requievi:
rogo syngraphum, datur mi ilico; dedi Tyndaro: ille abiit domum.
inde ilico praevortor domum, postquam id actum est;
eo protinus ad fratrem, mei ubi sunt alii captivi.
At last I escaped to the praetor’s. Barely waiting to catch
my breath, I asked for a passport, got it on the spot, gave
it to Tyndarus: he’s off for home. After seeing to that, I
first start straight for home. Then I go on to my brother’s
where the rest of my prisoners are.
rogo, Philocratem ex Alide ecquis hominum
noverit: tandem his exclamat, eum sibi esse sodalem; 510
dico eum esse apud me; hic extemplo orat obsecratque,
eum sibi ut liceat videre:
iussi ilico hunc exsolvi. nunc tu sequere me,
ut quod me oravisti impetres, eum hominem uti convenias.
Inquire if any one of ’em knows Philocrates of Elis. Finally
this fellow (_pointing to Aristophontes_) calls out that
Philocrates is a particular friend of his. I tell him he’s
at my house; the next instant he’s begging and beseeching me
for a chance to see him. I had him unfettered at once. (_to
Aristophontes_) Now, sir, come this way, so as to obtain
your request and meet your friend.
[EXEUNT INTO HOUSE: AS THEY GO IN _Tyndarus_ RUSHES OUT.
III. 3.
Scene 3.
_Tynd._
Nunc illud est, cum me fuisse quam esse nimio mavelim:
nunc spes opes auxiliaque a me segregant spernuntque se.
hic illest dies, cum nulla vitae meae salus sperabilest,
neque exitium[14] exitio est neque adeo spes, quae mi hunc
aspellat metum,
nec subdolis mendaciis mihi usquam mantellum est meis,[15] 520
(_grimly_) Now’s the time when I should infinitely prefer
to be underground than on it! Hope, resources, help--all
deserting, all leaving me in the lurch now! My day has come:
I can never hope to get out of this alive. Done for, and
nothing to be done for it! There’s no prospect of staving
off the danger, either, and not a thing to drape my crafty
lies with.
neque deprecatio perfidiis meis nec male factis fuga est. (522)
nec confidentiae usquam hospitium est nec deverticulum dolis:
operta quae fuere aperta sunt, patent praestigiae,
omnis res palam est, neque de hac re negotium est,
quin male occidam oppetamque pestem eri vicem meamque.
My falsehoods can’t beg themselves off, or my transgressions
take to their heels: no lodgings anywhere for brass: guile
can’t find accommodations. The covert’s uncovered, our
plot’s apparent, everything’s out. There’s nothing to do
about it: I must drop off disagreeably, and come to a
painful end for master--also for myself.
perdidit me Aristophontes hic qui venit modo intro:[16]
is me novit, is sodalis Philocrati et cognatus est.
neque iam Salus servare, si volt, me potest, nec copia est,
nisi si aliquam corde machinor astutiam. 530
quam, malum? quid machiner? quid comminiscar? maxumas
nugas ineptus incipisso. haereo.
He’s been the ruin of me, this Aristophontes that just
went inside: he knows me: he’s a particular friend of
Philocrates, related to him, too. Salvation herself can’t
save me now, if she so desires: there’s no chance unless I
can invent some clever scheme. But what, curse it? What can
I invent? What can I devise? (_reflecting, then doubtfully_)
Oh, this is awful nonsense I’m at, poor simpleton!
(_disgustedly_) Stuck!
III. 4.
Scene 4.
ENTER _Hegio_, _Aristophontes_, AND _Slaves_.
_Hegio_
Quo illum nunc hominem proripuisse foras se dicam ex aedibus?
Where did that fellow bolt for out of the house just now,
I wonder?
_Tynd._
Nunc enim vero ego occidi: eunt ad te hostes, Tyndare.
quid loquar? quid fabulabor? quid negabo aut quid fatebor?
mihi res omnis in incerto sita est. quid rebus confidam meis?
utinam te di prius perderent, quam periisti e patria tua,
Aristophontes, qui ex parata re imparatam omnem facis.
occisa est haec res, nisi reperio atrocem mi aliquam astutiam.
(_aside_) It’s all over with me, all over with me now: the
enemy are upon you, Tyndarus! What shall I say? What story
shall I tell? What shall I deny--or what admit? It’s a shaky
business for me on every side! What faith can I put in my
luck? Oh, I wish the gods had made away with you before you
made away from home, Aristophontes,--upsetting my settled
plan completely! The game is up, unless I hit upon some
awfully clever scheme.
_Hegio_
Sequere. em tibi hominem. adi, atque adloquere.
(_to Aristophontes, on seeing Tyndarus_) Come along! There’s
your man! Go up and speak to him!
_Tynd._
Quis homo est me hominum miserior? 540
(_aside, as Aristophontes approaches_) What mortal man
is in a more confounded hole than this? (_pretends not to
recognize him_)
_Arist._
Quid istuc est quod meos te dicam fugitare oculos, Tyndare,
proque ignoto me aspernari, quasi me numquam noveris?
equidem tam sum servos quam tu, etsi ego domi liber fui,
tu usque a puero servitutem servivisti in Alide.
I wonder what you mean by this, Tyndarus,--avoiding my eye
and snubbing me as a stranger, quite as if you never knew
me? I’m just as much of a slave as you are, to be sure, but
at home I was free: as for you, you’ve been slaving it in
Elis from your boyhood up.
_Hegio_
Edepol minime miror, si te fugitat aut oculos tuos,
aut si te odit, qui istum appelles Tyndarum pro Philocrate.
Bless my soul! I’m not a bit surprised if he avoids you, or
your eye, no, nor if he detests you, when you call him
Tyndarus instead of Philocrates.
_Tynd._
Hegio, hic homo rabiosus habitus est in Alide,
ne tu quod istic fabuletur auris immittas tuas.
nam istis hastis insectatus est domi matrem et patrem,
et illic isti qui insputatur morbus interdum venit. 550
proin tu ab istoc procul recedas.
(_dragging Hegio aside_) Hegio, this fellow was looked upon
as a raving maniac in Elis, so don’t you let him fill your
ears with his babble. Why, at home he chased his father and
mother about with a spear, and every once in a while he has
an attack of the disease that people spit on.[D] So get out
of his reach, then,--well away.
[Footnote D: Epilepsy.]
_Hegio_
Ultro istum a me.
(to slaves) Keep him off! Keep him off!
_Arist._
Ain, verbero?
me rabiosum atque insectatum esse hastis meum memoras patrem,
et eum morbum mi esse, ut qui me opus sit insputarier?
What’s that, you rascal? I’m a raving maniac and chased my
own father with a spear, you say? I have the disease that
calls for my being spat upon?
_Hegio_
Ne verere, multos iste morbus homines macerat,
quibus insputari saluti fuit atque is profuit.
(_cheeringly_) Never you mind! Many a man’s consumed by that
disease of yours, who’s been helped by being spat on, and
it’s brought him through.
_Arist._
Quid tu autem? etiam huic credis?
(_to Hegio, hotly_) How’s this? You, too? Do you actually
believe him?
_Hegio_
Quid ego credam huic?
Believe him in what?
_Arist._
Insanum esse me?
That I’m insane?
_Tynd._
Viden tu hunc, quam inimico voltu intuetur? concedi optumumst,
Hegio: fit quod tibi ego dixi, gliscit rabies, cave tibi.
(_to Hegio_) Do you see him--that angry glare of his? You’d
better leave, Hegio. It’s just as I said: a fit’s coming on.
Look out for yourself!
_Hegio_
Credidi esse insanum extemplo, ubi te appellavit Tyndarum.
(_hastily moving farther off_) I thought so, I thought he
was crazy, from the moment he called you Tyndarus.
_Tynd._
Quin suom ipse interdum ignorat nomen neque scit qui siet. 560
Why, at times he positively forgets his own name and doesn’t
know who he is.
_Hegio_
At etiam te suom sodalem esse aibat.
But he was even saying you were an intimate friend of his.
_Tynd._
Haud vidi magis.
et quidem Alcumeus atque Orestes et Lycurgus postea
una opera mihi sunt sodales qua iste.
(_dryly_) Quite so! And the fact is that Alcumeus,[E] in
that case, and Orestes,[E] and Lycurgus[E] too are intimate
friends of mine, just exactly as much.
[Footnote E: Madmen, celebrated in Greek mythology.
Alcumeus = Alcmaeon.]
_Arist._
At etiam, furcifer,
male loqui mi audes? non ego te novi?
Ha! You scoundrel, do you dare go on maligning me? Don’t I
know you?
_Hegio_
Pol planum id quidem est,
non novisse, qui istum appelles Tyndarum pro Philocrate.
quem vides, eum ignoras: illum nominas quem non vides.
Good heavens! It’s quite plain you don’t know him--calling
him Tyndarus instead of Philocrates! The man you see you
don’t know: you name the man you don’t see.
_Arist._
Immo iste eum sese ait, qui non est, esse, et qui vero est, negat.
No, sir! This fellow says he’s the man he isn’t, and says he
isn’t the man he really is.
_Tynd._
Tu enim repertu’s, Philocratem qui superes veriverbio.
(_to Aristophontes, meaningly_) So you have turned up to
beat Philocrates in stating facts!
_Arist._
Pol ego ut rem video, tu inventu’s, vera vanitudine
qui convincas. sed quaeso hercle, agedum aspice ad me.
Good Lord! As I look at it, you have been unearthed to
browbeat facts by stating falsehoods. But come now, confound
it, look me in the eye!
_Tynd._
Em.
(_doing so coolly_) Well?
_Arist._
Dic modo: 570
tun negas te Tyndarum esse?
Now tell me: do you deny that you are Tyndarus?
_Tynd._
Nego, inquam.
I do, certainly.
_Arist._
Tun te Philocratem
esse ais?
You claim to be Philocrates, you?
_Tynd._
Ego, inquam.
I certainly do.
_Arist._
Tune huic credis?
(_to Hegio, exasperated_) Do you believe him?
_Hegio_
Plus quidem quam tibi aut mihi.
nam ille quidem, quem tu hunc memoras esse, hodie hinc abiit Alidem
ad patrem huius.
More than I do you, surely,--or myself. For you see, the
fellow you tell me this man is--he went away to Elis to-day
to this man’s father.
_Arist._
Quem patrem, qui servos est?
(_contemptuously_) Father! What do you mean, when he’s a
slave?
_Tynd._
Et tu quidem
servos es, liber fuisti, et ego me confido fore,
si huius huc reconciliasso in libertatem filium.
Well, you, too, are a slave and once were free: and (_with
emphasis_) I hope to be so myself, when I have restored
this gentleman’s son to home and liberty.
_Arist._
Quid ais, furcifer? tun te gnatum esse memoras liberum?
What’s that, you villain? You tell me you were born a
freeman?
_Tynd._
Non equidem me Liberum, sed Philocratem esse aio.
No indeed, my name is not Freeman, but Philocrates, that’s
what I say.
_Arist._
Quid est?
ut scelestus, Hegio, nunc iste te ludos facit.
nam is est servos ipse, neque praeter se umquam ei servos fuit. 580
What’s all this? How the rascal’s making game of you,
Hegio! Why he’s a slave himself--the only one he ever had.
_Tynd._
Quia tute ipse eges in patria nec tibi qui vivas domist,
omnis inveniri similis tui vis; non mirum facis:
est miserorum, ut malevolentes sint atque invideant bonis.
(_superior_) Just because you yourself are poverty-stricken
in your own country, with nothing at home to live on, you
want to have every one else put in the same list. There is
nothing strange in that: it is characteristic of poor
beggars to be ill-natured, and envy the well-to-do.
_Arist._
Hegio, vide sis, ne quid tu huic temere insistas credere.
atque, ut perspicio, profecto iam aliquid pugnae edidit.
filium tuom quod redimere se ait, id ne utiquam mini placet.
Hegio, I beg you take care not to go on with your rash
confidence in this fellow. And for that matter, he’s
certainly given you a fall or two already, I take it. This
talk of his about rescuing your son doesn’t please me at
all.
_Tynd._
Scio te id nolle fieri; efficiam tamen ego id, si di adiuvant.
illum restituam huic, hic autem in Alidem me meo patri.
propterea ad patrem hinc amisi Tyndarum.
(_with an appealing look_) I know you don’t want it done;
but I’ll bring it about, God helping me. (_slowly_) I will
restore his son to this gentleman, and then this gentleman
will send me back to Elis to my father. That was why I sent
Tyndarus off to my father.
_Arist._
Quin tute is es:
neque praeter te in Alide ullus servos istoc nominest. 590
Why, you’re Tyndarus yourself: and besides you there’s not a
slave in Elis of that name.
_Tynd._
Pergin servom me exprobrare esse, id quod vi hostili optigit?
Still taunting me with being a slave, eh? A slave as it
happens, because the enemy were too much for us!
_Arist._
Enim iam nequeo contineri.
(_angrily_) I positively can’t control myself any longer!
_Tynd._
Heus, audin quid ait? quin fugis?
iam illic his nos insectabit lapidibus, nisi illunc iubes
comprehendi.
(_apparently alarmed, to Hegio_) Aha! Hear what he’s saying?
Run, why don’t you? He’ll be after us with stones in a
minute, if you don’t have him seized.
_Arist._
Crucior.
Oh, this is driving me wild!
_Tynd._
Ardent oculi: fit opus, Hegio;
viden tu illi maculari corpus totum maculis luridis?
atra bilis agitat hominem.
His eyes are blazing! He’s having one, Hegio! See how his
whole body is covered with lurid spots? It’s black fury
that’s tormenting the fellow!
_Arist._
At pol te, si hic sapiat senex,
pix atra agitet apud carnificem tuoque capiti inluceat.
Now, by the Lord, if this old gentleman did the wise thing,
it’s black pitch that would torment you at the
executioner’s, and light up that head of yours!
_Tynd._
Iam deliramenta loquitur, laruae stimulant virum.
hercle qui, si hunc comprehendi iusseris, sapias magis.
Now he’s got to the raving point! Evil spirits are hounding
the man, Hegio. Heavens! You’d do more wisely to have him
seized!
_Arist._
Crucior, lapidem non habere me, ut illi mastigiae 600
cerebrum excutiam, qui me insanum verbis concinnat suis.
Oh, damnation! not to have a stone to knock out the brains
of this blackguard that’s driving me mad with his talk!
_Tynd._
Audin lapidem quaeritare?
Hear that--looking for a stone!
_Arist._
Solus te solum volo,
Hegio.
(_struggling to contain himself_) Hegio, I want a word with
you all alone.
_Hegio_
Instinc loquere, si quid vis, procul tamen audiam.
(_timorously_) Say it from there, if there’s anything you
want--from away off there. I shall hear it all the same.
_Tynd._
Namque edepol si adbites propius, os denasabit tibi
mordicus.
That’s right, by Jove! for if you go any nearer, he’ll bite
your nose off.
_Arist._
Neque pol me insanum, Hegio, esse creduis
neque fuisse umquam, neque esse morbum quem istic autumat.
verum si quid metuis a me, iube me vinciri: volo,
dum istic itidem vinciatur.
Heavens and earth, Hegio! don’t believe I’m insane, or that
I have, or ever had, the disease he’s talking about.
However, if you’re at all afraid of me, have me tied up. I
am willing, provided that fellow is tied up too.
_Tynd._
Immo enim vero, Hegio,
istic, qui volt, vinciatur.
No indeed, Hegio, certainly not, tie up the fellow that
wants it.
_Arist._
Tace modo. ego te, Philocrates
false, faciam ut verus hodie reperiare Tyndarus. 610
quid mi abnutas?
You keep still, now! I’ll soon show you up, you false
Philocrates, for the real Tyndarus. (_Tyndarus makes signs
to him behind Hegio’s back_) What, are you shaking your
head at me for?
_Tynd._
Tibi ego abnuto?
I shaking my head at you?
_Arist._
Quid agat, si absis longius?
(_to Hegio_) What would he do, if you were farther off?
_Hegio_
Quid ais? quid si adeam hunc insanum?
See here, what if I should step up to this lunatic?
_Tynd._
Nugas. ludificabitur,
garriet quoi neque pes umquam neque caput compareat.
ornamenta absunt: Aiacem, hunc cum vides, ipsum vides.
Ridiculous! He’ll make a fool of you, jabbering something
without head or tail to it. Look at this fellow, and you’re
looking at a regular Ajax[F]--all but the make-up.
[Footnote F: Another madman of Greek mythology.]
_Hegio_
Nihili facio. tamen adibo.
I don’t care. I’m going to step up to him just the same.
(_approaches Aristophontes hesitantly_)
_Tynd._
Nunc ego omnino occidi,
nunc ego inter sacrum saxumque sto, nec quid faciam scio.
(_aside_) Now I’m done for entirely. Now I’m between the
axe and the altar, and what to do I don’t know.
_Hegio_
Do tibi operam, Aristophontes, si quid est quod me velis.
I’m at your service, Aristophontes, if there’s anything you
want of me.
_Arist._
Ex me audibis vera quae nunc falsa opinare, Hegio.
sed hoc primum, me expurigare tibi volo. me insaniam 620
neque tenere neque mi esse ullum morbum, nisi quod servio.
at ita me rex deorum atque hominum faxit patriae compotem,
ut istic Philocrates non magis est quam aut ego aut tu.
I’ll show you, Hegio, that all this you take for a lie is
the truth. But first I want to clear myself with you, and
assure you that I am not insane, and have no affliction
except captivity. And now,--(_solemnly_) so may the King of
heaven and earth restore me to my native land,--that fellow
is no more Philocrates than you or I.
_Hegio_
Eho dic mihi,
quis illic igitur est?
(_impressed_) Hey? Tell me, who is he then?
_Arist._
Quem dudum dixi a principio tibi.
hoc si secus reperies, nullam causam dico quin mihi
et parentum et libertatis apud te deliquio siet.
The man I told you he was to begin with, a while ago. If you
find it otherwise, I make no objection to forfeiting my
parents and my liberty and staying here with you.
_Hegio_
Quid tu ais?
(_to Tyndarus_) And you--what have you to say?
_Tynd._
Me tuom esse servom et te meum erum.
(_urbanely_) That I am your servant, and that you are my
master.
_Hegio_
Haud istuc rogo.
fuistin liber?
(_impatiently_) That isn’t what I’m asking about. Were you a
freeman?
_Tynd._
Fui.
I was.
_Arist._
Enim vero non fuit, nugas agit.
He certainly was not. Absurd!
_Tynd._
Qui tu scis? an tu fortasse fuisti meae matri obstetrix,
qui id tam audacter dicere audes?
(_superciliously_) How do you know? Or were you my mother’s
midwife, perhaps, that you venture to speak with such
assurance on this point?
_Arist._
Puerum te vidi puer. 630
I saw you when we were both boys.
_Tynd._
At ego te video maior maiorem: em rursum tibi.
meam rem non cures, si recte facis. num ego curo tuam?
Well, I see you now we are both grown-ups. There’s one for
you! You wouldn’t meddle with my business, if you behaved
decently. I don’t meddle with yours, do I?
_Hegio_
Fuitne huic pater Thensaurochrysonicochrysides?
Wasn’t his father called Ducatsdoubloonsandpiecesofeightson?
_Arist._
Non fuit, neque ego istuc nomen umquam audivi ante hunc diem
Philocrati Theodoromedes fuit pater.
No sir, he was not, and I never heard that name before
to-day. The father of Philocrates was Theodoromedes.
_Tynd._
Pereo probe
quin quiescis? idie rectum cor meum, ac suspende te.
tu sussultas, ego miser vix asto prae formidine.
(_aside, dryly_) I’m jolly well done for. Stop your noise,
will you, heart? Go to the deuce, and be hanged to you!
Jumping up and down, while I, poor devil, can hardly stand
for fear!
_Hegio_
Satin istuc mihi exquisitum est, fuisse hunc servom in Alide
neque esse hunc Philocratem?
Am I to take it as absolutely clear that this fellow was a
slave in Elis, that he is not Philocrates?
_Arist_
Tam satis quam numquam hoc invenies secus.
sed ubi is nunc est?
So absolutely that you’ll never find it to be anything
different. But where is Philocrates at present?
_Hegio_
Ubi ego mimime atque ipsus se volt maxume 640
sed vide sis.
(_savagely_) Where I least want him, and he most wants to
be. Do, do, see if there’s not some mistake, though.
_Arist._
Quin exploratum dico et provisum hoc tibi.
No, I’m sure of my ground and fully informed in what I tell
you.
_Hegio_
Certon?
You’re certain?
_Arist._
Quin nihil, inquam, invenies magis hoc certo certus.
Philocrates iam inde usque amicus fuit mihi a puero puer.
You’ll never find a deader certainty than this, I assure
you. Philocrates has been a friend of mine ever since he was
a boy.
_Hegio_
Tum igitur ego deruncinatus, deartuatus sum miser
huius scelesti techinis, qui me ut lubitum est ductavit dolis
sed qua faciest tuos sodalis Philocrates?
So then, I’ve been trimmed, torn limb from limb, poor fool,
by the arts of this rogue, who’s taken me in with his tricks
to suit his taste! But what does your friend Philocrates
look like?
_Arist._
Dicam tibi
macilento ore, naso acuto, corpore albo, oculis nigris,
subrufus aliquantum, crispus, cincinnatus.
I’ll tell you--thin face, sharp nose, complexion fair, black
eyes, hair a little reddish, waving, and curled.
_Hegio_
Convenit.
That agrees!
_Tynd._
Ut quidem hercle in medium ego hodie pessume processerim.
vae illis virgis miseris, quae hodie in tergo morientur meo. 650
(_aside ruefully_) Gad! Indeed it does--with my coming into
damned unpleasant prominence this day. Alas for those poor
whips that are doomed this day to die upon my back!
_Hegio_
Verba mihi data esse video.
I see I’ve been duped!
_Tynd._
Quid cessatis, compedes,
currere ad me meaque amplecti crura, ut vos custodiam?
(_aside_) Come on, ye shackles, run up and embrace my
shanks, so that I may keep you safe!
_Hegio_
Satin med illi hodie scelesti capti ceperunt dolo?
illic servom se assimulabat, hic sese autem liberum.
nuculeum amisi, retinui pignori putamina.
ita mihi stolido sursum versum os sublevere offuciis.
his quidem me numquam irridebit. Colaphe, Cordalio, Corax,
ite istinc, ecferte lora.
Well, haven’t those rascal captives taken me in with this
day’s trickery? The other one pretended he was the slave,
while this fellow here played the freeman. I’ve lost the
kernel and kept the shell for surety. That’s the way they’ve
daubed my face up for me, ass that I am! (_grimly_) This one
shall never have the laugh on me, at any rate. (_stepping to
door and calling_) Box! Buffum! Bangs! Come! Out with you!
Bring your straps!
III. 5.
Scene 5.
ENTER OVERSEERS, CARRYING HEAVY RAWHIDES.
_Cola._
_Box_
Num lignatum mittimur?
(_merrily cracking a whip_) You don’t want us to go and
tie up faggots, do you, sir?
_Hegio_
Inicite huic manicas[17] mastigiae.
Clap handcuffs on this rogue. (_pointing to Tyndarus_)
_Tynd._
Quid hoc est negoti? quid ego deliqui?
(_as they obey_) What does this mean? What have I done?
_Hegio_
Rogas. 660
sator sartorque scelerum, et messor maxume?
Done! You sower and hoer of sin--(_more savagely_) and
reaper, especially!
_Tynd._
Non occatorem dicere audebas prius?
nam semper occant prius quam sariunt rustici.
(_politely_) Couldn’t you manage to slip in “harrower”?
Why, farmers always harrow before they hoe.
_Hegio_
At tu confidenter[18] mihi contra astitit.
(_angrily_) Now look at that! the bold way he stands up to
me!
_Tynd._
Decet innocentem servom atque innoxium
confidentem esse, suom apud erum potissimum.
A guiltless, harmless slave ought to face his own master
boldly, his own master, of all men.
_Hegio_
Adstringite isti sultis vehementer manus.
(_to overseers_) Fasten his hands, tight, mind you!
_Tynd._
Tuos sum, tu has quidem vel praecidi iube.
sed quid negoti est, quam ob rem suscenses mihi?
I am yours. Have them cut off, even, for that matter. But
what does this mean? Why this rage at me?
_Hegio_
Quia me meamque rem, quod in te uno fuit, 670
tuis scelestis falsidicis fallaciis
deartuasti dilaceravisti atque opes
confecisti omnes, res ac rationes meas:
ita mi exemisti Philocratem fallaciis.
illum esse servom credidi, te liberum:
ita vosmet aiebatis itaque nomina
inter vos permutastis.
Because as far as in you lay you’ve sent me and my hopes to
smash, demolished me, with your rascally deceitful dodges,
and spoiled all my chances, all my prospects and plans.
That’s the way you, got Philocrates off--by swindling me!
I supposed he was the slave and you the freeman; that’s
what you said yourselves; that’s how you exchanged names.
_Tynd._
Fateor, omnia
facta esse ita ut tu dicis, et fallaciis
abiisse eum abs te mea opera atque astutia;
an, obsecro hercle te, id nunc suscenses mihi? 680
(_coolly_) I admit it: it is all as you say--yes, you were
swindled out of him, and it was my support and my scheming
that did it. But heavens and earth, that isn’t what sets you
raging at me, is it?
_Hegio_
At cum cruciatu maxumo id factumst tuo.
You shall pay for doing it, though, pay for it with your own
best blood!
_Tynd._
Dum ne ob male facta, peream, parvi aestumo.
si ego hic peribo, ast ille ut dixit non redit,
at erit mi hoc factum mortuo memorabile,
me meum erum captum ex servitute atque hostibus
reducem fecisse liberum in patriam ad patrem,
meumque potius me caput periculo
praeoptavisse, quam is periret, ponere.
(_simply_) Provided it is not for wrongdoing, let me die--it
matters little. If I myself do die here, and if he does fail
to return, as he said he would, what I have done, at least,
will be remembered when I am gone--men will tell how I
saved my captured master from slavery and from his enemies,
restored him, a free man, to his home and his father, and
how I chose to put my own life in peril rather than let him
die.
_Hegio_
Facito ergo ut Acherunti clueas gloria.
Well then, you can look in the next world for that glorious
name of yours.
_Tynd._
Qui per virtutem, periit, at non interit. 690
The man that dies in a worthy cause does not perish utterly.
_Hegio_
Quando ego te exemplis pessumis cruciavero
atque ob sutelas tuas te morti misero,
vel te interiisse vel periisse praedicent;
dum pereas, nihil intererit: dicant vivere.
After I’ve tortured you in the most excruciating ways
possible, and sent you to perdition for the lies you’ve
patched up, let ’em announce that you’ve perished utterly,
or that you’ve merely died; so long as you’re dead, no
matter--they can say you’re living, for all I care.
_Tynd._
Pol si istuc faxis, haud sine poena feceris,
si ille hue rebitet, sicut confido affore.
You do that, sir, and I swear it will cost you dear, if my
master comes back, as I expect him to do.
_Arist._
Pro di immortales, nunc ego teneo, nunc scio
quid hoc sit negoti. meus sodalis Philocrates
in libertate est ad patrem in patria. bene est,
nec quisquam est mihi, aeque melius cui velim. 700
sed hoc mihi aegre est, me huic dedisse operam malam,
qui nunc propter me meaque verba vinctus est.
(_aside_) Great God! Now I see it! Now I understand what it
all means! My chum Philocrates is free, has gone home to his
father. Good! And not a friend have I got that I wish better
luck to, either. But I do feel bad about the cursed way I’ve
treated Tyndarus here! He’s got me and my tongue to thank
for being strapped up at this moment.
_Hegio_
Votuin te quicquam mi hodie falsum proloqui?
Didn’t I tell you not to deceive me in the slightest
particular?
_Tynd._
Votuisti.
Yes.
_Hegio_
Cur es ausus mentiri mihi?
Then why did you dare lie to me?
_Tynd._
Quia vera obessent illi quoi operam dabam:
nunc falsa prosunt.
Because the truth would have harmed the person I was trying
to help: as it is, deceit has served his turn.
_Hegio_
At tibi oberunt.
It won’t serve yours, however.
_Tynd._
Optumest.
at erum servavi, quem servatum gaudeo.
cui me custodem addiderat erus maior meus.
sed malene id factum arbitrare?
Very well, sir. I saved my master, at any rate, and I’m
happy in having saved the man that my older master put in my
care. Really now, do you think this was a wrong act?
_Hegio_
Pessume.
Atrocious!
_Tynd._
At ego aio recte. qui abs te sorsum sentio. 710
nam cogitato, si quis hoc gnato tuo
tuos servos faxit, qualem haberes gratiam?
emitteresne necne eum servom manu?
essetne apud te is servos aceeptissimus?
responde.
Well, sir, I differ with you--I say it was right. Why, just
think! if a slave of yours did the same thing for your own
son, what would be your feeling toward him? Would you set
this slave free, or not? Wouldn’t this slave be your
favourite? Answer me that.
_Hegio_
Opinor.
(_reluctantly_) I suppose so.
_Tynd._
Cur ergo iratus mihi es?
Why are you angry at me, then?
_Hegio_
Quia illi fuisti quam mihi fidelior.
Because you have been more faithful to him than to me.
_Tynd._
Quid? tu una nocte postulavisti et die
recens captum hominem, nuperum novicium,
te perdocere ut melius consulerem tibi,
quam illi, quicum una a puero aetatem exegeram? 720
What? Did you expect in a single night and day to teach a
man just recently captured, a slave you had hardly bought,
to consult your interests more than those of the master I
grew up from boyhood with?
_Hegio_
Ergo ab eo petito gratiam istam. ducite,
ubi ponderosas crassas capiat compedes.
inde ibis porro in latomias lapidarias.
ibi quom alii octonos lapides effodiunt, nisi
cotidiano sesquiopus confeceris,
Sescentoplago nomen indetur tibi.
Well then, look to him for your thanks for it. (_to
overseers_) Off with him and have him shackled--heavy ones,
solid ones! (_to Tyndarus_) After that you shall go straight
to the stone quarries. There, while the rest of them are
digging out their eight blocks a day, you’re to do half as
much again, or you’ll be dubbed The Cracks-collector.
_Arist._
Per deos atque homines ego te obtestor, Hegio,
ne tu istunc hominem perduis.
Hegio! for God’s sake don’t let the man be utterly lost!
_Hegio_
Curabitur;
nam noctu nervo vinctus custodibitur,
interdius sub terra lapides eximet: 730
diu ego hunc cruciabo, non uno absolvam die.
Lost? We’ll see to that! Why, at night he’ll be chained up
in a cell and guarded, and in the daytime he’ll be under
ground hewing out stone. It’s agony long drawn out he’ll get
from me; I won’t end it for him all in one day.
_Arist._
Certumne est tibi istuc?
(_distressed_) Is this your fixed intention, sir?
_Hegio_
Non moriri certius.
abducite istum actutum ad Hippolytum fabrum,
iubete huic crassas compedes impingier;
inde extra portam ad meum libertum Cordalum
in lapicidinas facite deductus siet:
atque hunc me velle dicite ita curarier,
ne qui deterius huic sit quam cui pessume est.
Fixed as death! (_to overseers_) Quick! March him off to
Hippolytus the blacksmith and have some solid irons forged
on him; then he’s to be escorted outside the city to my
freedman Cordalus and the quarries. Yes, and tell Cordalus
I want it seen to that he be treated quite as well as the
man that’s treated (_ferociously_) worst.
_Tynd._
Cur ego te invito me esse salvom postulem?
periclum vitae meae tuo stat periculo. 740
post mortem in morte nihil est quod metuam mali.
etsi pervivo usque ad summam aetatem, tamen
breve spatium est perferundi quae minitas mihi.
Why should I ask for mercy when you refuse it? My life is
risked at risk to you. After death, there is no evil in
death for me to fear. And even if I live on and on to the
very limits of human life, it’s still only for a short time
I shall have to endure what you threaten me with.
vale atque salve, etsi aliter ut dicam meres.
tu, Aristophontes, de me ut meruisti, ita vale;
nam mihi propter te hoc optigit.
Farewell, sir, and God bless you, no matter if you do
deserve to have me wish you something else. As for you,
Aristophontes, fare you well--as well as you deserve of me;
for it is all on account of you that this has happened to
me.
_Hegio_
Abducite.
(_to overseers_) Off with him.
_Tynd._
At unum hoc quaeso, si huc rebitet Philocrates,
ut mi eius facias conveniundi copiam.
But I do ask this one thing of you, sir: if Philocrates
comes back, give me a chance to meet him.
_Hegio_
Periistis, nisi hunc iam e conspectu abducitis.
(_to overseers_) Out of my sight with him this instant, or
I’ll murder you! (_they seize Tyndarus and hurry him off
roughly_)
_Tynd._
Vis haec quidem hercle est, et trahi et trudi simul. 750
(_dryly_) Well, well! This is positive violence, being
pushed and pulled at the same time. [EXEUNT.
_Hegio_
Illic est abductus recta in phylacam, ut dignus est.
ego illis captivis aliis documentum dabo,
ne tale quisquam facinus incipere audeat.
quod absque hoc esset, qui mihi hoc fecit palam,
usque offrenatum suis me ductarent dolis.
That rascal is bound straight for the prison cell he’s
entitled to. I’ll make an example of him for the benefit of
those other prisoners, so that none of them will dare engage
in such deviltry. If it hadn’t been for this fellow here who
disclosed it all, they’d have bitted me and led me along
with their tricks till the end of time.
nunc certum est nulli posthac quicquam credere.
satis sum semel deceptus. speravi miser
ex servitute me exemisse filium:
ea spes elapsa est. perdidi unum filium,
puerum quadrimum quem mihi servos surpuit, 760
neque eum servom umquam repperi neque filium;
Never again do I trust a soul in anything, that’s settled.
Once cheated is enough. (_pauses, then gloomily_) I hoped,
poor fool, that I had ransomed my son from slavery--a hope
that’s slipped away! I lost one son, a four-year-old boy
that a slave kidnapped, and never a trace of slave or son
since.
maior potitus hostium est. quod hoc est scelus?
quasi in orbitatem liberos produxerim.
sequere hac. reducam te ubi fuisti. neminis
miserere certum est, quia mei miseret neminem.
And my older boy in the hands of enemies! What curse am
I under? As if I’d begotten children so as to be left
childless! (_to Aristophontes_) This way, you. (_going
toward brother’s house_) Back you go where you were before.
I am determined to pity no one, since no one pities me.
_Arist._
Exauspicavi ex vinclis. nunc intellego
redauspicandum esse in catenas denuo.
(_wryly_) It seemed a good omen, my getting out of irons.
Now I perceive I must omen myself back to chains again.
[EXEUNT.
ACTVS IV
ACT IV
(_It is to be assumed that several hours only have elapsed._)
ENTER _Ergasilus_, ELATED.
_Erg._
Iuppiter supreme, servas me measque auges opes,
maximas opimitates opiparasque offers mihi,
laudem lucrum, ludum iocum, festivitatem ferias, 770
pompam penum, potationis saturitatem, gaudium,
nec cuiquam homini supplicare[19] nunc certum est mihi;
nam vel prodesse amico possum vel inimicum perdere,
ita hic me amoenitate amoena amoenus oneravit dies,
sine sacris hereditatem sum aptus effertissimam.
Great God on high, thou dost preserve me and prosper me with
fatness! Boundless abundance, yea, sublime abundance dost
thou bring me! Praise, profit, pleasure, jollity, festivity,
feasting, trains of victuals, eatables, drinkables, satiety,
joy! Never will I toady to human being more, I now resolve
it. Why, I can bless my friend or blast my foe, now that
this delightful day has loaded me down with its delightful
delightfulness! I’ve landed a legacy stuffed fit to burst,
and not a single encumbrance attached!
nunc ad senem cursum capessam hunc Hegionem, cui boni
tantum affero quantum ipsus a dis optat, atque etiam amplius.
nunc certa res est, eodem pacto ut comici servi solent.
coniciam in collum pallium, primo ex med hanc rem ut audiat:
speroque me ob hunc nuntium aeternum adepturum cibum. 780
Now for a race up to old Hegio here. I’m bringing him
all the happiness he craves of Heaven, yes, and more, too.
I know what I’ll do now: like slaves in the comedies, I’ll
bundle my cloak round my neck and run, so that I’ll be the
first man he hears this news from; and I hope to get food
for ever and ever for my information.
IV. 2.
Scene 2.
ENTER _Hegio_.
_Hegio_
Quanto in pectore hanc rem meo magis volato,
tanto mi aegritudo auctior est in animo.
ad illum modum sublitum os esse mi hodie!
neque id perspicere quivi.
quod cum scibitur, tum per urbem inridebor.
(_soliloquizing moodily_) The more I think it over, the
sourer I feel. The idea of their playing upon me in that
style to-day! And I couldn’t see through it. When it gets
known, I shall be the joke of the town.
cum extemplo ad forum advenero, omnes loquentur:
“hic illest senex doctus, quoi verba data sunt.”
sed Ergasilus estne his, procul quem video?
conlecto quidem est pallio. quidnam acturust?
The moment I appear at the forum they’ll all be saying,
“Here comes that smart old fellow that got humbugged.”
(_observing Ergasilus_) But isn’t that Ergasilus I see
over there? With his cloak all tucked up, too! Now what
in the world is he going to do? (_steps aside_)
_Erg._
Move aps te moram atque, Ergasile, age hanc rem. 790
eminor interminorque, ne mi obstiterit obviam
nisi quis satis diu vixisse sese homo arbitrabitur.
nam qui obstiterit, ore sistet.
(_with burlesque importance and bustle_) No dawdling now,
Ergasilus! At it, my boy, at it! I give you to wit by all
the law’s pains and penalties that no man stand in my way,
unless he thinks he has lived long enough. For the man that
does stand in my way shall stand on his head. (_squares off
and delivers lusty blows at imaginary passers-by_)
_Hegio_
Hic homo pugilatum incipit.
(_aside_) The fellow is going in for a boxing match!
_Erg._
Facere certumst. proinde ita omnes itinera insistant sua,
ne quis in hanc plateam negoti conferat quicquam sui.
nam meus est ballista pugnus, cubitus catapultast mihi,
umerus aries, tum genu quemque icero ad terram dabo,
dentilegos omnes mortales faciam, quemque offendero.
I’ll do it, I’m resolved. So everybody keep where they
belong, and don’t anyone bring his business into this
street! I tell you what, my fist is a siege-gun, and this
forearm is my catapult, and my shoulder is a battering ram,
yes, and every man I lay my knee into will bite the earth.
I’ll make every man I meet a tooth-collector.
_Hegio_
Quae illaec eminatiost nam? nequeo mirari satis.
(_aside_) What on earth does all this bluster mean? Quite
unaccountable!
_Erg_
Faciam ut huius diei locique meique semper meminerit.[20] 800
I’ll make him remember this day and this place and me for
ever.
_Hegio_
Quid hic homo tantum incipissit facere cum tantis minis? (802)
(_aside_) What giant undertaking is the fellow at, with all
this big talk?
_Erg._
Prius edico, ne quis propter culpam capiatur suam:
continete vos domi, prohibete a vobis vim meam.
I give you due notice, that no one may come to grief through
his own ignorance of the law: stay at home: keep away from
me--I am a violent man.
_Hegio_
Mira edepol sunt, ni hic in ventrem sumpsit confidentiam.
vae misero illi, cuius cibo iste factust imperiosior.
(_aside_) Bless my soul! I’ll be sworn he’s got some
assurance put into his inside. Heaven help the poor wretch
whose larder has set him up so!
_Erg._
Tum pistores scrofipasci, qui alunt furfuribus sues,
quarum odore praeterire nemo pistrinum potest:
eorum si quoiusquam scrofam in publico conspexero,
ex ipsis dominis meis pugnis exculcabo furfures. 810
And as for the millers that keep sows, and feed waste stuff
to their swine, that raise such a stench nobody can go by
the mill,--if I spy a sow of any one of ’em on the public
highway, I’ll up with my fists and stamp the stuffing out of
those sows’--owners.
_Hegio_
Basilicas edictiones atque imperiosas habet:
satur homost, habet profecto in ventre confidentiam.
(_aside_) Right royal and imperious pronunciamentos. The man
is gorged: he certainly has got some assurance stowed away
inside.
_Erg._
Tum piscatores, qui praebent populo pisces foetidos,
qui advehuntur quadrupedanti crucianti cantherio,
quorum odos subbasilicanos omnes abigit in forum,
eis ego ora verberabo surpiculis piscariis,
ut sciant, alieno naso quam exhibeant molestiam.
Then the fishmongers that travel around on a jogging,
jolting gelding, and offer folk stale fish so strong it
drives every last lounger in the arcade out into the forum--
I’ll whack their faces with their own fish baskets, just to
teach ’em what an abomination they are to the public nose.
tum lanii autem, qui concinnant liberis orbas oves,
qui locant caedundos agnos et duplam agninam danunt,
qui petroni nomen indunt verveci sectario, 820
eum ego si in via petronem publica conspexero
et petronem et dominum reddam mortales miserrumos.
Yes, and the butchers, too, that bereave sheep of their
little ones, that engage to sell you lambs fit for slaughter,
and then give you lamb as old as two lambs, and pass off a
tough old ram as a prime wether--if I spy that ram on a city
thoroughfare, I’ll make ram and owner the saddest men alive!
_Hegio_
Eugepae, edictiones aedilicias hic quidem habet,
mirumque adeost ni hunc fecere sibi Aetoli agoranomum.
(_aside_) Splendid! Why, he is issuing edicts like a
Comptroller of the Victualling: I shouldn’t be surprised if
the Aetolians have made him market inspector.
_Erg._
Non ego nunc parasitus sum, sed regum rex regalior,
tantus ventri commeatus meo adest in portu cibus
sed ego cesso hunc Hegionem onerare laetitia senem,
quo homine hominum adaeque nemo vivit fortunatior?
I’m no parasite now, not I! I’m a precious potent potentate
of potentates, with all that invoice at the harbour for my
belly--food, food! But I must hurry and load old Hegio here
with ecstasy. There’s not a luckier man alive than he!
_Hegio_
Quae illaec est laetitia, quam illic laetus largitur mihi?
(_aside_) What ecstasy is it this ecstatic creature is going
to lavish on me?
_Erg._
Heus ubi estis? ecquis hic est? ecquis hoc aperit ostium? 830
(_pounding on Hegio’s door_) Hi! Where are you? Anybody
here? Anybody going to open this door?
_Hegio_
Hic homo ad cenam recipit se ad me.
(_aside_) The fellow is coming to dine with me.
_Erg._
Aperite hasce ambas fores
prius quam pultando assulatim foribus exitium adfero.
Open this door--both doors--before I knock ’em to flinders
and finish ’em for good and all!
_Hegio_
Perlubet hunc hominem colloqui. Ergasile.
(_aside_) I should quite enjoy a word with him. (_aloud_)
Ergasilus!
_Erg._
Ergasilum qui vocat?
(_still pounding_) Who calls Ergasilus?
_Hegio_
Respice.
Vouchsafe me a look, sir.
_Erg._
Fortuna quod tibi nec facit nec faciet, me iubes.
sed quis est?
(_without turning his head_) Vouchsafe you a look, eh!
That is more than Good Luck does for you, or ever will do,
either! Who is it, though?
_Hegio_
Respice ad me, Hegio sum.
Look around this way. It’s Hegio.
_Erg._
Oh mihi,
quantum est hominum optumorum optume, in
tempore advenis.
(_rushing up_) Oh! oh! You best of all the best men that
tread the earth, you come just in time!
_Hegio_
Nescio quem ad portum nactus es ubi cenes, eo fastidis.
You have hit upon some one or other at the harbour to dine
with: that’s why you are so haughty.
_Erg._
Cedo manum.
(_rapturously_) Give me your hand!
_Hegio_
Manum?
My hand?
_Erg._
Manum, inquam, cedo tuam actutum.
Your hand, I say--give me your hand this instant!
_Hegio_
Tene.
(_doing so_) Take it. (_Ergasilus shakes it vigorously_)
_Erg._
Gaude.
Rejoice!
_Hegio_
Quid ego gaudeam?
Rejoice--I? What for?
_Erg._
Quia ego impero, age gaude modo.
Because I bid you to. Come now, rejoice!
_Hegio_
Pol maerores mi antevortunt gaudiis.[21] 840
Good Lord, man! grief takes precedence of joy in my case.
_Erg._
Iam ego ex corpore exigam omnis maculas maerorum tibi.
gaude audacter.
I will remove every grief spot from off your person for you
this minute. Rejoice, rejoice boldly!
_Hegio_
Gaudeo, etsi nil scio quod gaudeam.
Well, I am rejoicing, although I haven’t the least idea why
I should.
_Erg._
Bene facis. iube--
Much obliged! Order--
_Hegio_
Quid iubeam?
(_suspiciously_) Order what?
_Erg._
Ignem ingentem fieri.
--a fire to be built, an enormous fire.
_Hegio_
Ignem ingentem?
An enormous fire?
_Erg._
Ita dico, magnus ut sit.
That’s what I say--make it a big one.
_Hegio_
Quid? me, volturi,
tuan causa aedis incensurum censes?
(_angry_) How’s that? Do you think I’m going to burn my
house down for your benefit, you vulture?
_Erg._
Noli irascier.
iuben an non iubes astitui aulas, patinas elui,
[22]laridum atque epulas foveri foculis ferventibus?
alium pisces praestinatum abire?
Calm yourself, sir. Will you order the pots to be set near
the oven, or won’t you--and the platters washed--and bacon
and lovely things to eat to be warmed up in fire-pans piping
hot? And some one to go and lay in fish?
_Hegio_
Hic vigilans somniat.
Day dreams, poor fellow!
_Erg._
Alium porcinam atque agninam et pullos gallinaceos?
And some one else to get pork and lamb and spring chicken?
_Hegio_
Scis bene esse, si sit unde.
You know how to enjoy yourself--given the wherewithal.
_Erg._
[23]Pernam atque ophthalmiam, 850
horaeum, scombrum et trygonum et cetum, et mollem caseum?
And ham and river-lamprey and pickled fish, mackerel and
sting ray and tunny, and nice soft cheese?
_Hegio_
Nominandi istorum tibi erit magis quam edundi copia
his apud me, Ergasile.
You will have more of an opportunity to mention those
viands, Ergasilus, than to masticate them here at my house.
_Erg._
Mean me causa hoc censes dicere?
Do you suppose I’m saying this on my own account?
_Hegio_
Nec nihil hodie nec multo plus tu hic edes, ne frustra sis.
proin tu tui cottidiani victi ventrem ad me afferas.
What you get here to-day will be a cross between nothing and
next to nothing; make no mistake about that. So bring me a
stomach that is ready for your ordinary fare.
_Erg._
Quin ita faciam. ut tute cupias facere sumptum, etsi ego vetem.
Why, I’ll make you long to squander money, you yourself,
even though I should forbid it.
_Hegio_
Egone?
Me?
_Erg._
Tune.
Yes, sir, you!
_Hegio_
Tum tu mi igitur erus es.
Then you are my master, I take it.
_Erg._
Immo benevolens.
vin te faciam fortunatum?
No, no, your whole-souled friend. Do you want me to make you
a fortunate man?
_Hegio_
Malim quam miserum quidem.
Rather than unfortunate, why, yes.
_Erg._
Cedo manum.
Give me your hand.
_Hegio_
Em manum.
Here it is. (_Ergasilus again shakes it fervently_)
_Erg._
Di te omnes adiuvant.
The gods are with you!
_Hegio_
Nil sentio.
I wouldn’t know it.
_Erg._
Non enim es in senticeto, eo non sentis. sed iube 860
vasa tibi pura apparari ad rem divinam cito,
atque agnum afferri proprium pinguem.
You wouldn’t? Well, you’re out of the wood; that’s why you
don’t twig it. But see they get the holy vessels ready for
worship--quick! Yes, and have a special lamb brought in, a
fat one.
_Hegio_
Cur?
Why?
_Erg._
Ut sacrufices.
So that you may offer sacrifice.
_Hegio_
Cui deorum?
To what deity?
_Erg._
Mi hercle, nam ego nunc tibi sum summus Iuppiter,
idem ego sum Salus, Fortuna, Lux, Laetitia, Gaudium.
proin tu deum hunc saturitate facias tranquillum tibi.
To me, by gad! For I’m your Jupiter Most High now, myself;
and Salvation, Fortune, Light, Gladness, Joy--they’re all
this identical I! So mind you placate this divinity by
stuffing him full.
_Hegio_
Esurire mihi videre.
You need food, I fancy.
_Erg._
Mi quidem esurio, non tibi.
No sir, I need food I fancy, not food you fancy.
_Hegio_
Tuo arbitratu, facile patior.
(_smiling_) Have it your own way: I’m perfectly willing
to--crawl.
_Erg._
Credo, consuetu’s puer.
Crawl? I believe you: it’s a habit you--fell into--as a
child.
_Hegio_
Iuppiter te dique perdant.
(_disgusted_) Oh, you be damned, sir!
_Erg._
Te hercle--mi aequom est gratias
agere ob nuntium; tantum ego nunc porto a portu tibi boni:
nunc tu mihi places.
And by Jove, you be--grateful to me, as you ought, for my
news. The glorious news from the port I’m just reporting!
Now your dinner begins to tempt me.
_Hegio_
Abi, stultu’s, sero post tempus venis. 870
Be off, you idiot: you’re behind time, you have come too
late.
_Erg._
Igitur olim si advenissem, magis tu tum istuc diceres;
nunc hanc laetitiam accipe a me, quam fero. nam filium
tuom modo in portu Philopolemum vivom, salvom et sospitem
vidi in publica celoce, ibidemque illum adulescentulum
Aleum una et tuom Stalagmum servom, qui aufugit domo,
qui tibi surripuit quadrimum puerum filiolum tuom.
Well, if I had come before, then you’d have had more reason
to say that. (_slowly and portentously_) Now, sir,
prepare for the ecstasy of which I am the vehicle. A few
minutes ago at the harbour your son, your son Philopolemus,
alive, safe and sound,--I saw him, saw him in a despatch
boat, and along with him that young Elean and your slave
Stalagmus that stole your little four year old boy.
_Hegio_
Abi in malam rem, ludis me.
To the devil with you! You’re making fun of me.
_Erg._
Ita me amabit sancta Saturitas,
Hegio, itaque suo me semper condecoret cognomine,
ut ego vidi.
So help me Holy Stuffing, so may she grace me with her name
for evermore--I did see them, Hegio!
_Hegio_
Meum gnatum?
(_sceptically_) My son?
_Erg._
Tuom gnatum et genium meum.
Your son and my guardian angel.
_Hegio_
Et captivom illum Alidensem?
And that Elean prisoner?
_Erg._
Μὰ τὸν Ὰπόλλω.
_Oui, par_ Hercules!
_Hegio_
Et servolum 880
meum Stalagmum, meum qui gnatum surripuit?
And that miserable slave of mine, Stalagmus, that kidnapped
my son?
_Erg._
Ναὶ τὰν Κόραν.
_Oui, par_ Hercul-aneum!
_Hegio_
Iam credo?
I’m to believe that?
_Erg._
Ναὶ τὰν Πραινἐσην.
_Oui, par_ Pompeii!
_Hegio._
Venit?
He’s come?
_Erg._
Ναὶ τὰν Σιγνίαν.
_Oui, par_ Sorrento!
_Hegio_
Certon?
You’re sure?
_Erg._
Ναὶ τὸν Φρουσινῶνα.
_Oui, par_ Amalfi!
_Hegio_
Vide sis.
Careful now!
_Erg._
Ναὶ τὸν Ἀλάτριον.
_Oui, par_ Torre dell’Annunziata!
_Hegio_
Quid tu per barbaricas urbes iuras?
What are you swearing by foreign cities for!
_Erg._
Quia enim item asperae
sunt ut tuom victum autumabas esse.
Well, because they’re the same as you said your meals were--
perfect terrors.
_Hegio_
Vae aetati tuae.
Plague take you!
_Erg._
Quippe quando mihi nil credis, quod ego dico sedulo.
sed Stalagmus quoius erat tunc nationis, cum hinc abit?
My sentiments exactly, seeing you don’t believe a word I
tell you in sober earnest. Stalagmus, though,--what was his
nationality when he disappeared?
_Hegio_
Siculus.
Sicilian.
_Erg._
At nunc Siculus non est, Boius est, Boiam terit:
liberorum quaerundorum causa ei, credo, uxor datast.
But he’s no Sicilian now: he’s a Gaul--he’s being galled,[G]
anyhow, by that thing he’s attached to: he’s coupled with
the article so as to get children, I suppose?
[Footnote G: Boia means a woman of the Boii, also a
malefactor’s collar.]
_Hegio_
Dic, bonan fide tu mi istaec verba dixisti?
See here, have you told me all this in good faith?
_Erg._
Bona. 890
In good faith.
_Hegio_
Di immortales, iterum gnatus videor, si vera autumas.
Great heavens! I feel like a new man, if what you say is
true.
_Erg._
Ain tu? dubium habebis etiam, sancte quom ego iurem tibi?
postremo, Hegio, si parva iuri iurandost fides,
vise ad portum.
Eh? How’s that? You’ll still doubt me when I’d give you my
sacred word on it? Very well then, Hegio, if my solemn oath
is insufficient for you, go down to the harbour and see for
yourself.
_Hegio_
Facere certumst. tu intus cura quod opus est.
sume, posce, prome quid vis. te facio cellarium.
(_excited_) Precisely what I will do. You go inside and
attend to what’s needed. Take anything you want, ask for it,
get it from the store-room. I make you butler.
_Erg._
Nam hercle, nisi mantiscinatus probe ero, fusti pectito.
(_wild with joy_) Now by Jupiter, if I don’t do some
handsome catering, comb me down with a club!
_Hegio_
Aeternum tibi dapinabo victum, si vera autumas.
I’ll dinner you till doomsday, if it’s true.
_Erg._
Unde id?
And who’s to pay?
_Hegio_
A me meoque gnato.
I and my son.
_Erg._
Sponden tu istud?
I have your word on that?
_Hegio_
Spondeo.
My word.
_Erg._
At ego tuom tibi advenisse filium respondeo.
And for my part, my word to you is--your son has arrived.
_Hegio_
Cura quam optume potes.
(_making off toward harbour_) Attend to everything the
very best you can.
IV. 3.
Scene 3.
_Erg._
Bene ambula et redambula. 900
illic hinc abiit, mihi rem summam credidit cibariam.
di immortales, iam ut ego collos praetruncabo tegoribus,
quanta pernis pestis veniet, quanta labes larido,
quanta sumini absumedo, quanta callo calamitas,
quanta laniis lassitudo, quanta porcinariis.
A pleasant walk and--backwalk--to you. [EXIT _Hegio_]
He’s gone! And the whole blessed commissariat left to me! Ye
immortal gods! how I’ll knock necks off backs now! Ah, ham’s
case is hopeless, and bacon’s in a bad, bad way! And sow’s
udder--done for utterly! Oh, how pork rind will go to pot!
Butchers and pig-dealers--won’t I bustle ’em!
nam si alia memorem, quae ad ventris victum conducunt, morast.
nunc ibo, ut pro praefectura mea ius dicam larido,
et quae pendent indemnatae pernae, eis auxilium ut feram.
Why, if I should mention all the other things that go to
bolster up a belly, it would be a waste of time. I must off
this minute to perform my official duties and pass judgment
on bacon and help out hams that are still untried and in
suspense. [EXIT INTO HOUSE, HURRIEDLY: UPROAR WITHIN.
IV. 4.
Scene 4.
ENTER _Page_, ANGRY AND EXCITED, FROM _Hegio’s_ HOUSE.
_Puer_
_Page_
Diespiter te dique, Ergasile, perdant et ventrem tuom,
parasitosque omnis, et qui posthac cenam parasitis dabit. 910
clades, calamitasque, intemperies modo in nostram advenit domum.
quasi lupus esuriens ille metui ne in me faceret impetum.
(_shaking his fist at door_) May all the powers of heaven
destroy you, Ergasilus, and that belly of yours and all
parasites and anyone that gives a parasite a meal hereafter!
Disaster, devastation, a tornado, has just fallen on our
house. I was afraid he’d jump at my throat like a ravening
wolf!
ubi[24] voltus esurientis vidi, eius extimescebam impetum
nimisque hercle ego illum male formidabam. ita frendebat dentibus.
adveniens deturbavit totum cum carne carnarium:
arripuit gladium, praetruncavit tribus tegoribus glandia;
aulas calicesque omnes confregit, nisi quae modiales erant.
As soon as I saw that ravenous look of his I almost died for
fear he’d make a rush at me-- Lord, how he did scare me, how
he kept grinding his teeth! In he came and tugged down the
meat, rack and all--grabbed a knife and lopped the choice
bits off three necks of pork--and smashed every pot and
tureen that didn’t hold a peck or more!
cocum percontabatur, possentne seriae fervescere.
cellas refregit omnis intus reclusitque armarium.
adservate istunc, sultis, servi. ego ibo, ut conveniam senem.
dicam ut sibi penum alium adornet, siquidem sese uti volet; 920
nam hic quidem, ut adornat, aut iam nihil est aut iam nihil erit.
Kept asking the cook if he couldn’t possibly use the big
pickle vats to boil things in! Broke into all the cupboards
and raided the pantry! (_shouting to those within_) Hi,
boys! watch him, will you! I’m going to find the old man.
I’ll tell him, so that he can get in more victuals for
himself, that is if he wants any for his own use: for to
judge from the way this fellow is getting ’em out here,
there’s nothing left now, or won’t be long. [EXIT.
ACTVS V
ACT V
(_Half an hour has elapsed._)
ENTER _Hegio_, _Philopolemus_, _Philocrates_, AND
_Stalagmus._
_Hegio_
Iovi disque ago gratias merito magnas,
quom reducem tuo te patri reddiderunt
quomque ex miseriis plurimis me exemerunt,
quae adhuc te carens dum hic[25] fui sustentabam,
quomque hunc conspicor in potestate nostra,
quomque huius reperta est fides firma nobis.
(_to Philopolemus_) I thank God with all my heart, as
I ought, for bringing you back to your father, and for
relieving me of the dreadful anguish I’ve been enduring as
day after day went by, and I still here without you; yes,
and for letting me see this rascal (_indicating Stalagmus_)
in my power, and for this gentleman’s (_indicating
Philocrates_) proving himself a man of honour in standing
by his promise to us.
_Philop._
Satis iam dolui ex animo, et cura me satis et lacrumis maceravi,
satis iam audivi tuas aerumnas, ad portum mihi quas memorasti.
hoc agamus.
(_seeing Philocrates is getting impatient_) I’ve had quite
enough bitter suffering, and enough of wearing myself out
with anxiety and weeping, too, and I’ve heard quite enough
of your distress of which you told me at the harbour,
father! So now to the main point. (_turns to Philocrates_)
_Philocr._
Quid nunc, quoniam tecum servavi fidem 930
tibique hunc reducem in libertatem feci?
(_to Hegio_) What of me, sir, now that I have kept faith
with you and secured the liberty of your son here?
_Hegio_
Fecisti ut tibi,
Philocrates, numquam referre gratiam possim satis,
proinde ut tu promeritu’s de me et filio.
After the way you have acted, Philocrates, I’m entirely
unable to show gratitude enough for your treatment of me and
my son.
_Philop._
Immo potes,
pater, et poteris et ego potero, et di eam potestatem dabunt
ut beneficium bene merenti nostro merito muneres;
sicut tu huic[26] potes, pater mi, facere merito maxume.
No, no, you are able, father, yes, and always will be able,
and so shall I be, and Heaven will give you the ability to
do a deserved kindness to a man that has been so kind to us.
It’s just as with this slave here, (_pointing to Stalagmus_)
father dear; you’re able to give him his full deserts.
_Hegio_
Quid opust verbis? lingua nullast qua negem quidquid roges.
(_to Philocrates_) It’s plain enough, sir,--I have no tongue
with which to refuse a request of yours.
_Philocr._
Postulo abs te, ut mi illum reddas servom, quem hic reliqueram
pignus pro me, qui mihi melior quam sibi semper fuit,
pro bene factis eius ut ei pretium possim reddere. 940
What I ask you to do is to give me back the slave I
left here as security for myself--he was always ready to
sacrifice himself for me!--so that I can reward him for his
kindnesses.
_Hegio_
Quod bene fecisti referetur gratia id quod postulas;
et id et aliud, quod me orabis, impetrabis. atque te
nolim suscensere quod ego iratus ei feci male.
You have been kind to us, sir, and I shall be glad to do as
you ask; both that request, and any other, will be granted.
(_embarrassed_) And--and I trust you won’t be incensed at me
for getting angry and treating him badly.
_Philocr._
Quid fecisti?
(_anxiously_) What did you do?
_Hegio_
In lapicidinas compeditum condidi,
ubi rescivi mihi data esse verba.
I had him fettered and put down in the stone quarries when I
found out I had been imposed upon.
_Philocr._
Vae misero mihi,
propter meum caput labores homini evenisse optumo.
God forgive me! To think of the splendid fellow suffering
so, and all for my sake!
_Hegio_
At ob eam rem mihi libellam pro eo argenti ne duis.
gratiis a me, ut sit liber, ducito.
Well, sir, this being so, you needn’t give me a single
farthing for him: take him from me gratis--he is a free man.
_Philocr._
Edepol, Hegio.
facis benigne. sed quaeso, hominem ut iubeas arcessi.
Well, well, Hegio, many thanks! But have him sent for, I beg
you.
_Hegio_
Licet.
ubi estis vos? ite actutum Tyndarum huc arcessite, 950
vos ite intro. interibi ego ex hac statua verberea volo
erogitare, meo minore quid sit factum filio.
vos lavate interibi.
By all means (_calling to slaves in house_) Where are you?
[ENTER OVERSEERS] Quick! go bring Tyndarus here. [EXEUNT
OVERSEERS] (_to Philopolemus and Philocrates_) As for you
lads, step inside. Meanwhile I want to inquire of this
whipping post here (_pointing to Stalagmus_) what was done
with my younger son. You can take a bath meanwhile.
_Philop._
Sequere hac. Philocrates, me intro.
Come along in with me, Philocrates.
_Philocr._
Sequor.
Certainly. [EXEUNT.
V. 2.
Scene 2.
_Hegio_
Age tu illuc procede. bone vir, lepidum mancupium meum.
(_to Stalagmus_) Come now, you! Over there with you,
(_pointing_) my good sir, my charming piece of property.
_Stal._
Quid me oportet facere, ubi tu talis vir falsum autumas?
fui ego bellus, lepidus. bonus vir numquam, neque frugi bonae,
neque ero umquam, ne erres: spem ponas me bonae frugi fore.
(_sullenly_) What can you look for from me, when a fine
gentleman like you tells lies? I’ve had my day as a dandy, a
charmer; a good sir, or good for anything, I never was, and
I never will be, make no mistake, don’t you build up hopes I
will be good for anything.
_Hegio_
Propemodum ubi loci fortunae tuae sint facile intellegis.
si eris verax, tua ex re, facies ex mala meliusculam.
recte et vera loquere, sed neque vere neque tu recte adhuc 960
fecisti umquam.
You have no difficulty in appreciating your position pretty
fairly well. Now be truthful, and you’ll be acting to your
own advantage and make a bad prospect somewhat better. Out
with your story, make it straightforward and honest--virtues
you have never displayed hitherto, however.
_Stal._
Quod ego fatear, credin pudeat cum autumes?
When I’m ready to admit a thing myself d’ye think I should
be ashamed of it just because you say it’s so?
_Hegio_
At ego faciam ut pudeat, nam in ruborem te totum dabo.
I’ll make you ashamed, though: (_savagely_) I tell you what,
I’ll make one big blush of you.
_Stal._
Eia, credo ego imperito plagas minitaris mihi.
tandem ista aufer ac dic quid fers, ut feras hinc quod petis.
(_ironically_) La! La! I’m promised a whipping, it seems,
and I such a novice at it--oh, yes I am! Look here, get done
with that talk and say what you’ve got to propose, so as to
get what you’re after.
_Hegio_
Satis facundu’s. sed iam fieri dicta compendi volo.
Quite a gift of tongue, sir! But oblige me by saving some of
it for the moment.
_Stal._
Ut vis fiat.
Anything you like.
_Hegio_
Bene morigerus fuit puer, nunc non decet.
hoc agamus. iam animum advorte ac mihi quae dicam edissere.[27] (967)
(_half aside_) That compliance he showed as a boy hardly
becomes him at present. (_aloud_) To business! Now then,
pay attention and answer me fully.
_Stal._
Nugae istaec sunt. non me censes scire quid dignus siem? (969)
Rot! Don’t you suppose I know what I deserve?
_Hegio_
At ea subterfugere potis es pauca, si non omnia. 970
Well, you have a chance to escape a little of it, if not all.
_Stal._
Pauca effugiam, scio; nam multa evenient, et merito meo,
quia et fugi et tibi surripui filium et eum vendidi.
Little enough I’ll escape, I know that; for there’ll be
plenty coming, and it serves me right, seeing I ran away
and kidnapped your son and sold him.
_Hegio_
Cui homini?
To whom?
_Stal._
Theodoromedi in Alide Polyplusio,
sex minis.
(_drawling_) Theodoromedes Goldfields, in Elis, for
twenty-four pounds.
_Hegio_
Pro di immortales, is quidem huius est pater Philocrati.
God bless my soul! Why, he is the father of Philocrates
here!
_Stal._
Quin melius novi quam tu et vidi saepius.
Well, I know him better than you, and I’ve seen him oftener.
_Hegio_
Serva, Iuppiter supreme, et me et meum gnatum mihi.
Philocrates, per tuom te genium obsecro, exi, te volo.
God Almighty, save me and save my boy for me! (_running to
door and shouting_) Philocrates! Here, here, come, on your
life! I want you!
V. 3.
Scene 3.
ENTER _Philocrates_.
_Philocr_
Hegio, assum. si quid me vis, impera.
Here I am, Hegio. If I can be of any service, command me.
_Hegio_
Hic gnatum meum
tuo patri ait se vendidisse sex minis in Alide.
(_beside himself_) This fellow says my son--he sold him to
your father--for twenty-four pounds--in Elis!
_Philocr._
Quam diu id factum est?
How long ago was this?
_Stal._
His annus incipit vicensimus. 980
Going on for twenty years.
_Philocr._
Falsa memorat.
He’s lying.
_Stal._
Aut ego aut tu. nam tibi quadrimulum
tuos pater peculiarem parvolo puero dedit.
(_indifferent_) One of us is. As a matter of fact, your
father gave you a little four year old boy for your own,
when you were nothing but a youngster yourself.
_Philocr._
Quid erat ei nomen? si vera dicis, memoradum mihi.
(interested) What was his name? If your story is true, come,
tell me that.
_Stal._
Paegnium vocitatust, post vos indidistis Tyndaro.
Styled Pettie, he was: later on you folks called him
Tyndarus.
_Philocr._
Cur ego te non novi?
How is it I don’t know you?
_Stal._
Quia mos est oblivisci hominibus
neque novisse cuius nihili sit faciunda gratia.
Because it’s the regular thing to forget a fellow and cut
him, in case his good will can’t help you at all.
_Philocr._
Dic mihi, isne istic fuit, quem vendidisti meo patri,
qui mihi peculiaris datus est?
Tell me, was that boy you sold my father the same one that
was given me for my own?
_Stal._
Huius filius.
(_with a nod in Hegio’s direction_) His son.
_Hegio_
Vivitne is homo?
(_eagerly_) Is he alive, this--man?
_Stal._
Argentum accepi, nil curavi ceterum.
I got the money: that’s all I bothered about.
_Hegio_
Quid tu ais?
(_to Philocrates_) What do you say?
_Philocr._
Quin istic ipsust Tyndarus tuos filius, 990
ut quidem hic argumenta loquitur. nam is mecum a puero puer
bene pudiceque educatust usque ad adulescentiam.
Why, it’s Tyndarus himself that is your son, at least
according to this fellow’s evidence. For Tyndarus has been
brought up with me from the time we were boys, and brought
up in good honest fashion.
_Hegio_
Et miser sum et fortunatus, si vos vera dicitis;
eo miser sum quia male illi feci, si gnatust meus.
eheu, quom ego plus minusve feci quam me aequom fuit.
quod male feci crucior; modo si infectum fieri possiet.
sed eccum incedit huc ornatus haud ex suis virtutibus.
I feel miserable and happy both, if what you two say is
true! Miserable at having been so hard on him, if he is my
own boy! Dear, dear! how much more I’ve done than I ought,
or how much less! It’s torment, to think of the horrible
thing I’ve done--oh, if it could only be undone! (_looking
down street_) Look, though,--there he comes! To be decked
out like that, the noble fellow!
V. 4.
Scene 4.
ENTER _Tyndarus_ ESCORTED BY OVERSEERS. HE IS HEAVILY IRONED
AND CARRIES A CROWBAR.
_Tynd._
Vidi ego multa saepe picta, quae Acherunti fierent
cruciamenta, verum enim vero nulla adaeque est Acheruns
atque ubi ego fui, in lapicidinis. illic ibi demumst locus, 1000
ubi labore lassitudo est exigunda ex corpore.
(_dryly_) I have seen a good many pictures whose subject was
torture in Hell: but upon my soul, there is no hell that can
match those stone quarries where I’ve been. That place down
there is certainly the one where a weary man can be dead
sure of working off his tired feeling.
nam ubi illo adveni, quasi patricus pueris aut monerulae,
aut anites aut coturnices dantur, quicum lusitent
itidem mi haec advenienti upupa, qui me delectem, datast
sed erus eccum ante ostium, et erus alter eccum ex Alide
rediit.
Why, when I got there it was just like your young scions
of the nobility being given daws or ducks or quails for
playfellows: my own case exactly--the moment I arrived they
gave me this crow to have a lark with. (_looking toward
Hegio’s house_) But there’s my master in front of the door--
and, yes, my other master back from Elis!
_Hegio_
Salve, exoptate gnate mi.
Oh, how are you, my own longed-for son?
_Tynd._
Hem, quid gnate mi?
attat. scio cur te patrem adsimules esse et me filium:
quia mi item ut parentes lucis das tuendi copiam.
Eh? “My son?” How’s that? (_pauses, then with a weary
laugh_) Ah, yes, yes, I see the point of your father and
son chaff: just as parents do, you give me a chance to
behold the light of day.
_Philocr._
Salve, Tyndare.
God bless you, Tyndarus!
_Tynd._
Et tu, quoius causa hanc aerumnam exigo.
And you, sir, for whose sake I’m undergoing this confounded
experience.
_Philocr._
At nunc liber in divitias faxo venies. nam tibi 1010
pater hic est; hic servos, qui te huic hinc quadrimum surpuit.
vendidit patri meo te sex minis, is te mihi
parvolum peculiarem parvolo puero dedit:
illic indicium fecit; nam hunc ex Alide huc reduximus.
But now you shall be a free man, Tyndarus, and a rich one,
I promise you. For here is (_indicating Hegio_) your father;
this slave (_indicating Stalagmus_) stole you away from him
here when you were four years old and sold you to my father
for twenty-four pounds. And when we were both small boys,
father gave you to me for my own. That fellow there has
proved it all; you see we brought him back here from Elis.
_Tynd._
Quid huius filium?
(_dazed_) What about his son?
_Philocr._
Intus eccum fratrem germanum tuom.[28] (1015)
Look--inside there--your own brother!
_Tynd._
Nunc edepol demum in memoriam regredior, audisse me (1023)
quasi per nebulam, Hegionem meum patrem vocarier.
Great heavens! When I think back I do now at last remember
hearing--in a cloudy sort of way--my father called Hegio!
_Hegio_
Is ego sum.
(_embracing him_) I am that Hegio!
_Philocr._
Compedibus quaeso ut tibi sit levior filius
atque huic gravior servos.
(_to Hegio, pointing to the shackles on Tyndarus_). Those
irons, sir,--for mercy’s sake get yourself a lighter son,
and him a heavier slave. (_indicating Stalagmus_)
_Hegio_
Certum est principio id praevortier.
eamus intro, ut arcessatur faber, ut istas compedes
tibi adimam, huic dem.
Yes, yes, I must see to that first of all. Let’s go inside
and have a blacksmith sent for, so that I may get those
irons off of you and make this fellow (_turning to
Stalagmus_) a present of them.
_Stal._
Quoi peculi nihil est, recte feceris.
Thanks awfully--seeing I haven’t a thing I can call my own.
[EXEUNT OMNES.
CATERVA
EPILOGUE
SPOKEN BY THE COMPANY.
Spectatores, ad pudicos mores facta haec fabula est,
neque in hac subigitationes sunt neque ulla amatio 1030
nec pueri suppositio nec argenti circumductio,
neque ubi amans adulescens scortum liberet clam suom patrem.
Spectators, this play was composed with due regard to the
proprieties: here you have no vicious intrigues, no love
affair, no supposititious child, no getting money on false
pretences, no young spark setting a wench free without his
father’s knowledge.
huius modi paucas poetae reperiunt comoedias,
ubi boni meliores fiant. nunc vos, si vobis placet
et si placuimus neque odio fuimus, signum hoc mittite:
qui pudicitiae esse voltis praemium, plausum date.
Dramatists find few plays such as this which make good men
better. Now, if you so please, and if we have pleased you
and have not been boring, intimate as much: you who wish
virtue to be rewarded, give us your applause.
* * * * *
[Footnote 1: Corrupt (Leo): _vincti quia astant_ Fleckeisen.]
[Footnote 2: Leo notes lacuna here:
_(cette), iam hoc tenetis_ Schoell.]
[Footnote 3: _vel_ precedes in MSS: Leo brackets.]
[Footnote 4: Leo notes lacuna here: _cupio (fieri)_ Schoell.]
[Footnote 5: Leo’s correction of _multa miraclitis_ of the MSS.]
[Footnote 6: Corrupt (Leo): _ea_ MSS: _consili_ Schoell.]
[Footnote 7: Leo brackets the following v., 237:
_quod tibi suadeam, suadeam meo patri._]
[Footnote 8: Leo notes lacuna here: _huius (ille)_ Camerarius.]
[Footnote 9: Leo brackets the following v., 280:
Hegio
_Tum igitur ei cum in Aleis tanta gratia est, ut praedicas._]
[Footnote 10: Leo brackets the following v., 288:
_nam ille quidem Theodoromedes fuit germano nomine._]
[Footnote 11: Leo brackets the following v., 324:
Hegio
_Ego virtute deum et maiorum nostrum dives sum satis._]
[Footnote 12: Corrupt (Leo): _quin te gratiis_ MSS:
_gratiis quin te_ Schoell.]
[Footnote 13: Leo brackets the following v., 438:
_scito te hinc minis viginti aestumatum mittier._]
[Footnote 14: Corrupt (Leo): _exitium_ Pontanus: _exilium_ MSS.]
[Footnote 15: Leo brackets the following v., 521:
_nec sycophantiis nec fucis ullum mantellum obviam est._]
[Footnote 16: Corrupt (Leo): _qui venit modo intro_ MSS:
_modo qui venit intro_ Lindsay.]
[Footnote 17: Leo notes lacuna here: _manicas (maxumas)_ Spengel.]
[Footnote 18: Leo notes lacuna here: _ut (etiam)_ Schoell.]
[Footnote 19: Leo notes lacuna here: _mihi (quod domist)_ Schoell.]
[Footnote 20: Leo brackets the following v., 801:
_Qui mihi in cursu opstiterit, faxo vitae is extemplo
opstiterit suae._]
[The man that stands in my path shall forthwith stand in the
way of his own existence.]
[Footnote 21: _Noli irascier_ follows in MSS: Leo brackets.]
[Footnote 22: Corrupt (Leo): _laridum ac pernas_ Schoell.]
[Footnote 23: Corrupt (Leo): _pern[ul]am_ Geppert.]
[Footnote 24: _voltus esurientis (vidi, eius extimescebam)_ Leo:
A reading doubtful: other MSS omit the line.]
[Footnote 25: Corrupt (Leo): _te carens dum hic_ P:
_carens dum huc_ A.]
[Footnote 26: _tu huic_ MSS: _nunc_ Leo.]
[Footnote 27: Leo brackets the following v., 968:
_si eris verax, ex tuis rebus feceris meliusculas._]
[Footnote 28: Leo brackets the following v., 1016-1022:
Tynd.
_Quid tu ais? adduatin illum huius captivom filium?_
Philocr.
_Quin, inquam, intus hic est._
Tynd.
_Fecisti edepol et recte et bene._
Philocr.
_Nunc tibi pater hic est. hic fur est tuos, qui parvom hinc
te abstulit._
Tynd.
_At ego hunc grandis grandem natu ob furtum ad carnificem dabo._
Philocr.
_Meritus est_
Tynd.
_Ergo edepol merito meritam mercedem dabo._ 1020
_sed tu dic oro. pater meus tune es?_
Hegio.
_Ego sum, gnate mi._
Tynd.
_Nunc demum in memoriam redeo, cum mecum recogito._]
[_Tynd._
What do you say? Did you bring this gentleman’s captive son?
_Philocr._
Yes, yes, he’s inside, I tell you.
_Tynd._
By heaven, sir, you have acted fairly and honourably.
_Philocr._
Now here is your father: and here is the thief who stole you
away from here when you were small.
_Tynd._
But now that we’re both big, I’ll hand him over to the
executioner for that theft.
_Philocr._
He deserves it.
_Tynd._
Well then, I’ll give him his deserved deserts deservedly, by
gad! But you, sir, speak I beseech you. Are you my father?
_Hegio_
I am, my dear lad.
_Tynd._
Now at last I remember--when I think it over.]
* * * * *
[Transcriber’s Corrections: _Captivi_ (_The Captives_)
Personae:
ERGASILVS PARASITUS...
spelling unchanged, as in _Amphitryon_ ]
I. 1.
...have dubbed me Missy, on the ground that...
text reads _on the gound_
II. 2.
Now the old fellow is in the barber’s chair
text reads _barbar’s chair_ ]
* * * * *