ENTER _Chrysalus_ IN HIGH SPIRITS.
_Chrys._
Hunc hominem decet auro expendi,
huic decet statuam statui ex auro; 640
nam duplex hodie facinus feci, duplicibus spoliis sum adfectus.
erum maiorem meum ut ego hodie lusi lepide, ut ludificatust.
callidum senem callidis dolis
compuli et perpuli, mi omnia ut crederet.
Here is a man (_patting his chest_) that is worth his weight
in gold: here is a man who ought to have a gold statue set
up for him. Why, I’ve done a double deed to-day, been graced
with double spoils. The old master--how cleverly I did take
him in to-day, how he was fooled! Wily as the old chap is,
my wily arts impelled him and compelled him to believe me
in everything.
nunc amanti ero filio senis,
quicum ego bibo, quicum edo et amo,
regias copias aureasque optuli,
ut domo sumeret neu foris quaereret.
non mihi isti placent Parmenones, Syri,
qui duas aut tris minas auferunt eris. 650
And now the young master that’s in love, the old one’s son,
that I drink with and eat with and go a-courting with--I’ve
furnished him out with regal supplies, golden supplies, so
that he can go to himself for cash and not look for it
outside. I haven’t any use for those Parmenos,[I] those
Syruses[I] that do their masters out of two or three gold
pieces.
[Footnote I: Rascally slaves in Greek comedies.]
nequius nil est quam egens consili servos, nisi
habet multipotens pectus:
ubicumque usus siet, pectore expromat suo.
nullus frugi esse potest homo,
nisi qui et bene et male facere tenet.
There’s nothing more worthless than a servant without
brains: he’s got to have a precious powerful intellect:
whenever a scheme is needed, let him produce it from his
own intellect. Not a soul can be worth anything, unless
he knows how to be good and bad both.
improbis cum improbus sit, harpaget, furibus
furetur quod queat,
vorsipellem frugi convenit esse hominem,
pectus quoi sapit: bonus sit bonis, malus sit malis; 659-660
utcumque res sit, ita animum habeat.
He must be a rascal among rascals, rob robbers, steal what
he can. A chap that’s worth anything, a chap with a fine
intellect, has to be able to change his skin. He must be
good with the good and bad with the bad; whatever the
situation calls for, that he’s got to be.
sed lubet scire quantum aurum erus sibi
dempsit et quid suo reddidit patri.
si frugi est, Herculem fecit ex patre:
decimam partem ei dedit, sibi novem abstulit.
sed quem quaero optume eccum obviam mihi est.
(_pausing_) But I should like to know how much money master
took for himself and what he passed on to his father. If
he is worth anything, he has let his father play Hercules--
given him a tithe and made off with nine parts for his own
use. (_sees Mnesilochus and Pistoclerus_) Hullo, though!
Here’s a lucky meeting with the man I’m looking for!
num qui nummi exciderunt, ere, tibi,
quod sic terram optuere?
quid vos maestos tam tristesque esse conspicor?
non placet nec temere est etiam. quin mihi respondetis? 670
(_to Mnesilochus_) You haven’t dropped any of the coin,
have you, sir,--gazing at the ground that way? (_waits for
answer_) What makes you two look so sad and gloomy? (_waits
again_) I don’t like it: no indeed, it’s not for nothing.
(_waits again_) Why don’t you answer me?
_Mnes._
Chrysale, occidi.
Chrysalus, I’m a lost man.
_Chrys._
Fortassis tu auri dempsisti parum?
You took too little of the gold, perhaps?
_Mnes._
Quam, malum, parum? immo vero nimio minus multo parum.
Too little, eh, curse it! No indeed,--much too much less
than too little!
_Chrys._
Quid igitur, stulte? an tu, quoniam occasio ad eam rem fuit
mea virtute parta, ut quantum velles tantum sumeres,
sic hoc digitulis duobus sumebas primoribus?
an nescibas quam eius modi homini raro tempus se daret?
Well, how’s that, you blockhead? After my ability won you
this opportunity to help yourself to just as much as you
pleased, you surely didn’t pick it up this way
(_illustrating_) with a couple of finger tips? Didn’t
you know how seldom a man is offered such a chance?
_Mnes._
Erras.
You’re making a mistake.
_Chrys._
At quidem tute errasti, cum parum immersti ampliter.
Well, you made another yourself, by not dipping into it deep
enough.
_Mnes._
Pol tu quam nunc med accuses magis, si magis rem noveris.
occidi.
(_moodily_) Good Lord! You’d lecture me more than you do
now, if you knew more of the facts. I’m a lost man!
_Chrys._
Animus iam istoc dicto plus praesagitur mali.
Now I foresee more trouble coming, after that remark.
_Mnes._
Perii.
I’m done for.
_Chrys._
Quid ita?
Why so?
_Mnes._
Quia patri omne cum ramento reddidi. 680
Because I’ve handed over every scrap of it to my father.
_Chrys._
Reddidisti?
(_dumbfounded_) Handed it over?
_Mnes._
Reddidi.
Handed it over.
_Chrys._
Omnene?
Every bit?
_Mnes._
Oppido.
Absolutely.
_Chrys._
Occisi sumus.
qui in mentem venit tibi istuc facinus facere tam malum?
We’re both lost men! What made it enter your head to do such
a thing, such an awful thing?
_Mnes._
Bacchidem atque hunc suspicabar propter crimen, Chrysale,
mi male consuluisse: ob eam rem omne aurum, iratus reddidi
meo patri.
(_awkwardly_) I heard a charge made, Chrysalus, and
suspected Bacchis and Pistoclerus here of plotting against
me: so I got angry and handed all the money over to my
father.
_Chrys._
Quid, ubi reddebas aurum, dixisti patri?
What did you tell your father when you handed it over?
_Mnes._
Me id aurum accepisse extemplo ab hospite Archidemide.
That I had received it on demand from his friend
Archidemides.
_Chrys._
Em,
istoc dicto dedisti hodie in cruciatum Chrysalum;
nam ubi me aspiciet, ad carnuficem rapiet continuo senex.
(_grimly_) Aha! And gave Chrysalus over to torment by the
statement; for when he sets eyes on me the old man will
promptly hale me off to the public torturer.
_Mnes._
Ego patrem exoravi.
(_hurriedly_ I persuaded him.
_Chrys._
Nempe ergo hoc ut faceret quod loquor?
(_dryly_) Indeed? To do what I’m saying, I take it?
_Mnes._
Immo tibi ne noceat neu quid ob eam rem suscenseat; 690
atque aegre impetravi. nunc hoc tibi curandumst, Chrysale.
No, no, not to harm you, or be at all angry with you for
what you did; and a hard time I had getting it out of him,
too. (_pauses, then in flattering manner_) Here’s what
you must see to now, Chrysalus.
_Chrys._
Quid vis curem?
(_sourly_) What do you want me to see to?
_Mnes._
Ut ad senem etiam alteram facias viam.
compara, fabricare finge quod lubet, conglutina,
ut senem hodie doctum docte fallas aurumque auferas.
To making another march still against the old man. Use your
ideas, your devices, your craft, any way you please, stick
together some clever scheme to fool the clever old fellow
to-day and get away with the gold.
_Chrys._
Vix videtur fieri posse.
It hardly looks possible to me.
_Mnes._
Perge, ac facile ecfeceris.
You go ahead, and you’ll carry it through easily.
_Chrys._
Quam, malum, facile, quem mendaci prendit manufesto modo?
quem si orem ut mihi nil credat, id non ausit credere.
Easily, eh, curse it? A man that has caught me in a
barefaced lie? A man that, if I should beg him not to
believe me in a thing, wouldn’t dare to believe even that!
_Mnes._
Immo si audias quae dicta dixit me adversum tibi.
(_smiling feebly_) Worse still--if you had only heard what
he said to me about you.
_Chrys._
Quid dixit?
What did he say?
_Mnes._
Si tu illum solem sibi solem esse diceres,
se illum lunam credere esse et noctem qui nunc est dies. 700
That if you told him the sun there was the sun, he’d believe
it was the moon, and that it was night now, not day.
_Chrys._
Emungam hercle hominem probe hodie, ne id nequiquam dixerit.
(_thinking a moment, then jubilantly_) By Jupiter! I’ll
clean the man up in glorious shape to-day, that he mayn’t
say that for nothing!
_Mnes._
Nunc quid nos vis facere?
What do you want us to do now?
_Chrys._
Enim nil nisi ut ametis impero.
ceterum quantum lubet me poscitote aurum: ego dabo.
quid mihi refert Chrysalo esse nomen, nisi factis probo?
sed nunc quantillum usust auri tibi, Mnesiloche? dic mihi.
Oh, make love--that’s all I order. But just apply to me for
gold, as much as you like: I’m your man. What’s the
advantage of my being named Chrysalus, unless I live up to
it? Well now, Mnesilochus, what’s the paltry sum you need?
Tell me.
_Mnes._
Militi nummis ducentis iam usus est pro Bacchide.
(_eagerly_) I need two hundred pounds at once to pay the
Captain for Bacchis.
_Chrys._
Ego dabo.
I’m your man.
_Mnes._
Tum nobis opus est sumptu.
Then we must have something for running expenses.
_Chrys._
Ah, placide volo
unum quidque agamus: hoc ubi egero, tum istuc agam.
de ducentis nummis primum intendam ballistam in senem;
ea ballista si pervortam turrim et propugnacula, 710
recta porta invadam extemplo in oppidum anticum et vetus:
si id capso, geritote amicis vostris aurum corbibus,
sicut animus sperat.
Oh, I say, let’s go gently and attend to things one by one:
after I’ve attended to this, then I’ll attend to that: I’ll
train my catapult on the old fellow for the two hundred
first. If I shatter the tower and outworks with the said
catapult, the next minute I’ll plunge straight through the
gate into the ancient and time-worn town; in case I capture
it, you two can carry off gold to your lady friends by the
basketful, and gratify the hope of your soul.
_Pistoc._
Apud test animus noster, Chrysale.
Our soul is in your keeping, Chrysalus.
_Chrys._
Nunc tu abi intro, Pistoclere, ad Bacchidem, atque ecfer cito.
(_obviously the manager_) Now, Pistoclerus, inside with you
to Bacchis and hurry back with--
_Pistoc._
Quid?
With what?
_Chrys._
Stilum, ceram et tabellas, linum.
--a stylus, wax and tablets, some tape.
_Pistoc._
Iam faxo his erunt.
I’ll have them here at once. [EXIT INTO HOUSE.
_Mnes._
Quid nunc es facturus? id mihi dice.
What are you going to do now? Tell me that.
_Chrys._
Coctumst prandium?
vos duo eritis atque amica tua erit tecum tertia?
Is lunch cooked? You two, and your girl with you for a
third,--is that the plan?
_Mnes._
Sicut dicis.
Just so.
_Chrys._
Pistoclero nulla amica est?
No girl for Pistoclerus?
_Mnes._
Immo adest.
alteram ille amat sororem, ego alteram, ambas Bacchides.
Oh, yes there is! He loves one sister and I the other, both
of them Bacchises.
_Chrys._
Quid tu loquere?
(_surprised_) What’s that you tell me?
_Mnes._
Hoc, ut futuri sumus.
Merely our arrangements.
_Chrys._
Ubist biclinium 720
vobis stratum?
Where is this duplex dining-couch of yours set?
_Mnes._
Quid id exquaeris?
What do you ask that for?
_Chrys._
Res itast, dici volo.
nescis quid ego acturus sim nec facinus quantum exordiar.
The case calls for it. I want to be told. You don’t know
what I’m up to, what a monster of a scheme I’m going to get
under way.
_Mnes._
Cedo manum ac subsequere propius me ad fores. intro inspice.
(_slyly_) Give me your hand and follow me closer to the
door. (_leads Chrysalus to the house of Bacchis and pushes
the door open_) Cast your eyes in there!
_Chrys._
Euax, nimis bellus atque ut esse maxume optabam locus.
(_looking in_) Hurray! Perfectly delicious, yes, just the
sort of place I longed for it to be!
RE-ENTER _Pistoclerus._
_Pistoc._
Quae imperavisti. imperatum bene bonis factum ilicost.
(_to Chrysalus, with mock deference_) Orders followed, sir!
Good orders to good men instantly executed.
_Chrys._
Quid parasti?
What have you got?
_Pistoc._
Quae parari tu iussisti omnia.
Everything your mandate called for. (_showing writing
materials_)
_Chrys._
Cape stilum propere et tabellas tu has tibi.
(_to Mnesilochus_) Quick! Take the stylus and these tablets,
you.
_Mnes._
Quid postea?
(_obeying_) And then?
_Chrys._
Quod iubebo scribito istic. nam propterea te volo
scribere, ut pater cognoscat litteras quando legat. 730
scribe.
Write down there what I dictate. I want you to do the
writing, you see, so that your father will recognize your
hand when he reads it. Write.
_Mnes._
Quid scribam?
Write what?
_Chrys._
Salutem tuo patri verbis tuis.
Oh, some wish--use your own words--for your father’s health.
(_Mnesilochus writes_)
_Pistoc._
Quid si potius morbum mortem scribat? id erit rectius.
Hadn’t he better write sickness and death? That will be more
to the point.
_Chrys._
Ne interturba.
(_to Pistoclerus_) Don’t muddle him.
_Mnes._
Iam imperatum in cera inest.
That’s down now according to orders.
_Chrys._
Dic quem ad modum.
Let’s hear how you’ve put it.
_Mnes._
“Mnesilochus salutem dicit suo patri.”
(_reading_) “Mnesilochus sends best wishes to his father.”
_Chrys._
Adscribe hoc cito:
“Chrysalus mihi usque quaque loquitur nec recte, pater,
quia tibi aurum reddidi et quia non te fraudaverim.”
Hurry up, add this: “Chrysalus keeps talking away at me
everywhere, father, and talking harshly, because I handed
the gold over to you and did not defraud you.”
_Pistoc._
Mane dum scribit.
Give him time to write.
_Chrys._
Celerem oportet esse amatoris manum.
A lover’s hand ought to be nimble.
_Pistoc._
[21]At quidem hercle est ad perdundum magis quam ad scribundum cita.
Gad, yes! but it makes shorter work of cash than
correspondence.
_Mnes._
Loquere. hoc scriptumst.
Go on. That’s written.
_Chrys._
“Nunc, pater mi, proin tu ab eo ut caveas tibi,
sycophantias componit, aurum ut abs ted auferat; 740
et profecto se ablaturum dixit.” plane adscribito.
“Now then, father dear, do be on your guard against him--he
is laying a rascally scheme to take the gold from you; and
he vows he will take it.” Write that down plain.
_Mnes._
Dic modo.
(_after a moment_) Yes, yes, go on.
_Chrys._
“Atque id pollicetur se daturum aurum mihi,
quod dem scortis quodque in lustris comedim congraecem, pater,
sed, pater, vide ne tibi hodie verba det: quaeso cave.”
“And besides, he promises he will give it to me to spend on
women and to squander in riotous living in low resorts,
father. But, father, do see that he doesn’t impose upon you
to-day: for mercy’s sake, take care.”
_Mnes._
Loquere porro.
(_finishing_) All right, some more.
_Chrys._
Adscribe dum etiam--
Just go on and add--(_thinking_)
_Mnes._
Loquere quid scribam modo.
Well, say what.
_Chrys._
“Sed, pater, quod promisisti mihi, te quaeso ut memineris,
ne illum verberes; verum apud te vinctum adservato domi.”
cedo tu ceram ac linum actutum. age obliga, obsigna cito.
“However, I beg you to remember what you promised me,
father: don’t beat him; but tie him up and keep watch on him
at home.” (_to Pistoclerus_) The wax and tape, you, look
sharp! (_Pistoclerus obeys. To Mnesilochus_) Come on,
fasten it, seal it, quick!
_Mnes._
Obsecro, quid istis ad istunc usust conscriptis modum,
ut tibi ne quid credat atque ut vinctum te adservet domi? 750
(_obeying_) For heaven’s sake, what’s the use of a
document like this, telling him not to believe you at all,
to tie you up and keep watch on you at home?
_Chrys._
Quia mi ita lubet. potin ut cures te atque ut ne parcas mihi?
mea fiducia opus conduxi et meo periclo rem gero.
Because it suits me. Can’t you mind your own business and
not bother about me? (_arrogantly_) I was relying on myself
when I contracted for this job, and I’ll take the risk
myself in doing it.
_Mnes._
Aequom dicis.
Fairly spoken.
_Chrys._
Cedo tabellas.
Hand over the tablets.
_Mnes._
Accipe.
(_doing so_) Here they are.
_Chrys._
Animum advortite.
Mnesiloche et tu, Pistoclere, iam facite in biclinio
cum amica sua uterque accubitum eatis, ita negotiumst,
atque ibidem ubi nunc sunt lecti strati potetis cito.
Attention now! Mnesilochus, and you too, Pistoclerus, go at
once and take your places on your duplex dining-couch, each
of you beside his girl--that’s the thing to do--and right
there where the couches are set at present you hurry up and
begin drinking.
_Pistoc._
Numquid aliud?
(_turning to go_) Nothing else?
_Chrys._
Hoc, atque etiam: ubi erit accubitum semel,
ne quoquam exsurgatis, donec a me erit signum datum.
Just this--and one thing more: when you’ve once taken your
places, don’t move an inch off the couches until you get the
signal from me.
_Pistoc._
O imperatorem probum!
O peerless leader!
_Chrys._
Iam bis bibisse oportuit.
(_bustling them off_) You should have put down two
drinks already.
_Mnes._
Fugimus.
(_in mock terror_) We’re running away.
_Chrys._
Vos vostrum curate officium, ego efficiam meum. 760
(_grinning_) You two do your duty and I’ll attend to mine.
[EXEUNT _Pistoclerus_ AND _Mnesilochus_ INTO HOUSE OF
_Bacchis_.
IV. 5.