The necessity of cultivating industrious habits in early youth was never
more fully exemplified than in the case of two girls, daughters of the
same mother, who were born in a village about forty miles from the city
of Boston.
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Mary and Sophia had the advantage of a mother who was herself full of
enterprise and energy, and who having been left a widow, and knowing
that the success of her children depended mainly on their own
conduct, strove to bring them up to habits of industry. Sophia, the
younger of the two sisters, inherited much of her mother's tact and
vivacity. When the elder persons of the family were engaged in any
domestic employment, she delighted to watch their movements; and they,
being pleased with this mark of early promise, never failed to instruct
her in the duties of a housewife. She learned rapidly under their
tuition, and as she never thought she knew too much to learn, she
thrived greatly; so that when she became old enough to be married, she
was fully acquainted with all the branches of domestic business. She
knew what implements to use, and she had a dexterous way of using them,
which not only helped to forward the business of the day, but also gave
much pleasure to those persons who saw with what grace and ease she
performed her labor. She married a worthy young man, who never ceased to
admire her, because his house was always in order, his meals were on the
table at the exact hour, and her dress was always arranged with a regard
to neatness and to beauty, and the most perfect cleanliness reigned from
one end of the house to the other.
With regard to her sister Mary, I regret that I have too much reason to
speak otherwise. Although Mary knew very well that her fortune, for good
or for evil, depended wholly upon herself, yet she thought it
unnecessary to take any pains to acquire industrious habits, or to learn
the business of housekeeping. While she was yet a very little girl, she
was obstinate and self-willed, and thought herself too good to work, or
to learn any useful art. While the rest of the family were engaged in
necessary labor, she was amusing herself; and if called upon to do the
least thing, she complained bitterly as if some great injury had been
done to her. She thought it very much beneath her to learn to sew or to
make bread, or to milk one of the cows, and could talk half an hour and
make very fine excuses in order to get rid of any such little exercise.
When she was twelve years old, she supposed that she was born to be a
lady, and she took this notion into her head, merely because she did not
know how to do a single useful thing. If her mother or sisters said
anything to her about her dress, which was never put on as it should be,
or about her hair, which was never done up neatly, she flouted at them
with disdain, and said that clothes did not make the woman; which was
very true of itself, but nevertheless, neatness in dress is always
required to make a respectable woman. One may be ever so poor and may
have ever so little clothing, but one can always tell by a girl's
appearance, what is to be laid to the account of poverty, and what is to
be laid to the account of sluttishness.
Mary grew up in this way, and as she did not improve herself by useful
occupation, she found other employments which did her no good. She read
every foolish and extravagant story and novel which give false ideas of
life, and which poison the mind by unreasonable views of love and of
married life. She now thought that she was becoming very accomplished,
but no young man who knew her history desired to unite himself with such
a partner. At last, however, a stranger who entirely misapprehended her
character offered her his hand, and she professed to love him very much.
But her professions were all frothy and vain; for she had read so many
extravagant fictions, and knew so little of real life, that she did not
know her own mind, and supposed that she was very much in love, when
she did not even know how to form a serious attachment. The man whom she
married was very respectable and well disposed, and if he had married a
smart and industrious woman would have succeeded well in the world. But
Mary had never been either smart or industrious, and she seemed to
suppose that now she was married there was no necessity for doing
anything. When her husband complained that it was hard to live, she only
smiled, and said that she knew if she were a man she could get along
well enough, and that every man ought to expect, as a matter of course,
to support his family. Such talk as this did not comfort him, as he was
daily laboring very hard to maintain his family, for his wife had one
daughter, and he thought that his companion ought to take an interest in
his misfortunes. But she had no regard for the cares and troubles of her
husband. She thought that it was bad enough for her to be debarred from
riding in a coach, and putting on rich clothing, and she often
complained that she could not lead the life of a lady. As their family
increased, her husband found that she possessed no tact at all. He would
have hired a housekeeper had he been able, in order that his wife might
lounge about and read novels all day: he would also have employed some
person to dress her, as her clothing was always put on in so negligent a
manner that he was ashamed to invite a friend to his house. But Mary
imagined that she had a very hard time, because she could not be a lady,
and she associated with some idle, gossipping women, who encouraged her
to find fault with her husband, because he could not put her into a
palace. Her husband never could have his meals ready betimes, and when
he went home to his dinner, the breakfast dishes were found still
unwashed upon the table. Mary's children were pretty and healthy, but
having been always allowed to go dirty and ragged, they were treated
with contempt by all decent children. These things wore upon her
husband's mind more and more, until he left his family in despair, and
never returned to them again. Mary is now in the poor house; for, being
too idle to work, and never having learned how to support herself, it
could not be expected that she should provide honestly for her family.
Nobody pities her, and there are many who ask her how she likes being a
lady, and who joke her about riding in her coach. Such is the fatal
effect of forming idle habits early in life.