CONSIDER THE COMMUTER

When they tell us the world is getting worse and worse, and the

follies and peevishness of men will soon bring us all to some

damnable perdition, we are consoled by contemplating the steadfast

virtue of commuters. The planet grows harder and harder to live on,

it is true; every new invention makes things more complicated and

perplexing. These new automatic telephones, which are said to make

the business of getting a number so easy, will mean (we suppose)

that we will be called up fifty times a day--instead of (as now) a

mere twenty or thirty, while we are swooning and swinking over a

sonnet. But more and more people are taking to commuting and we look

to that to save things.

Because commuting is a tough and gruelling discipline. It educes

all the latent strength and virtue in a man (although it is hard on

those at home, for when he wins back at supper time there is left in

him very little of what the ladies so quaintly call "soul"). If you

study the demeanour of fellow-passengers on the 8:04 and the 5:27

you will see a quiet and well-drilled acceptiveness, a pious

non-resistance, which is not unworthy of the antique Chinese sages.

Is there any ritual (we cry, warming to our theme) so apt to imbue

the spirit with patience, stolidity, endurance, all the ripe and

seasoned qualities of manhood? It is well known that the fiercest

and most terrible fighters in the late war were those who had been

commuters. It was a Division composed chiefly of commuters that

stormed the Hindenburg Stellung and purged the Argonne thickets with

flame and steel. Their commanding officers were wont to remark these

men's carelessness of life. It seemed as though they hardly heeded

whether they got home again or not.

See them as they stand mobbed at the train gate, waiting for

admission to the homeward cars. A certain disingenuous casualness

appears on those hardened brows; but beneath burn stubborn fires.

These are engaged in battle, and they know it--a battle that never

ends. And while a warfare that goes on without truce necessarily

develops its own jokes, informalities, callousnesses, disregard of

wounds and gruesome sights, yet deep in their souls the units never

forget that they are drilled and regimented for struggle. We stood

the other evening with a Freeport man in the baggage compartment at

the front of a train leaving Brooklyn. We two had gained the

bull's-eye window at the nose of the train and sombrely watched the

sparkling panorama of lights along the track. Something had gone

wrong with the schedule that evening, and the passengers of the 5:27

had been shunted to the 5:30. As fellow mariners will, we discussed

famous breakdowns of old and the uncertainties of the commuter's

life. "Yes," said our companion, "once you leave home you never know

when you'll get back." And he smiled the passive, placable smile of

the experienced commuter.

It is this reasonable and moderate temper that makes the commuter

the seed wherewith a new generation shall be disseminated. He faces

troubles manifold without embittered grumbling. His is a new kind of

Puritanism, which endures hardship without dourness. When, on

Christmas Eve, the train out of Jamaica was so packed that the aisle

was one long mass of unwillingly embraced passengers, and even the

car platforms were crowded with shivering wights, and the conductor

buffeted his way as best he could over our toes and our parcels of

tinsel balls, what was the general cry? Was it a yell against the

railroad for not adding an extra brace of cars? No, it was

good-natured banter of the perspiring little officer as he struggled

to disentangle himself from forests of wedged legs. "You've got a

fine, big family in here," they told him: "you ought to be proud of

us." And there was a sorrowing Italian who had with him a string of

seven children who had tunnelled and burrowed their way down the

packed aisle of the smoking car and had got irretrievably scattered.

The father was distracted. Here and there, down the length of the

car, someone would discover an urchin and hold him up for

inspection. "Is this one of them?" he would cry, and Italy would

give assent. "Right!" And the children were agglomerated and piled

in a heap in the middle of the car until such time as a thinning of

the crowd permitted the anxious and blushing sire to reassemble them

and reprove their truancy with Adriatic lightnings from his dark

glowing eyes.

How pleasing is our commuter's simplicity! A cage of white mice, or

a crated goat (such are to be seen now and then on the Jamaica

platform) will engage his eye and give him keen amusement. Then

there is that game always known (in the smoking car) as

"pea-knuckle." The sight of four men playing will afford

contemplative and apparently intense satisfaction to all near. They

will lean diligently over seat-backs to watch every play of the

cards. They will stand in the aisle to follow the game, with

apparent comprehension. Then there are distinguished figures that

move through the observant commuter's peep-show. There is the tall

young man with the beaky nose, which (as Herrick said)

Is the grace

And proscenium of his face.

He is one of several light-hearted and carefree gentry who always

sit together and are full of superb cheer. Those who travel

sometimes with twinges of perplexity or skepticism are healed when

they see the magnificent assurance of this creature. Every day we

hear him making dates for his cronies to meet him at lunch time,

and in the evening we see him towering above the throng at the gate.

We like his confident air toward life, though he is still a little

too jocular to be a typical commuter.

But the commuter, though simple and anxious to be pleased, is

shrewdly alert. Every now and then they shuffle the trains at

Jamaica just to keep him guessing and sharpen his faculty of judging

whether this train goes to Brooklyn or Penn Station. His decisions

have to be made rapidly. We are speaking now of Long Island

commuters, whom we know best; but commuters are the same wherever

you find them. The Jersey commuter has had his own celebrant in

Joyce Kilmer, and we hope that he knows Joyce's pleasant essay on

the subject which was published in that little book, "The Circus and

Other Essays." But we gain-say the right of Staten Islanders to be

classed as commuters. These are a proud and active sort who are

really seafarers, not commuters. Fogs and ice floes make them blench

a little; but the less romantic troubles of broken brake-shoes leave

them unscotched.

Of Long Island commuters there are two classes: those who travel to

Penn Station, those who travel to Brooklyn. Let it not be denied,

there is a certain air of aristocracy about the Penn Station clique

that we cannot waive. Their tastes are more delicate. The train-boy

from Penn Station cries aloud "Choice, delicious apples," which

seems to us almost an affectation compared to the hoarse yell of our

Brooklyn news-agents imploring "Have a comic cartoon book, 'Mutt

and Jeff,' 'Bringing Up Father,' choclut-covered cherries!" The

club cars all go to Penn Station: there would be a general apoplexy

in the lowly terminal at Atlantic Avenue if one of those vehicles

were seen there. People are often seen (on the Penn Station branch)

who look exactly like the advertisements in _Vanity Fair_. Yet we,

for our humility, have treasures of our own, such as the brightly

lighted little shops along Atlantic Avenue and a station with the

poetic name of Autumn Avenue. The Brooklyn commuter points with

pride to his monthly ticket, which is distinguished from that of the

Penn Station nobility by a red badge of courage--a bright red

stripe. On the Penn Station branch they often punch the tickets with

little diamond-shaped holes; but on our line the punch is in the

form of a heart.

When the humble commuter who is accustomed to travelling via

Brooklyn is diverted from his accustomed orbit, and goes by way of

the Pennsylvania Station, what surprising excitements are his. The

enormousness of the crowd at Penn Station around 5 P.M. causes him

to realize that what he had thought, in his innocent Brooklyn

fashion, was a considerable mob, was nothing more than a trifling

scuffle. But he notes with pleasure the Penn Station habit of

letting people through the gate before the train comes in, so that

one may stand in comparative comfort and coolness downstairs on the

train platform. Here a vision of luxury greets his eyes that could

not possibly be imagined at the Brooklyn terminal--the Lehigh Valley

dining car that stands on a neighbouring track, the pink candles

lit on the tables, the shining water carafes, the white-coated

stewards at attention. At the car's kitchen window lolls a young

coloured boy in a chef's hat, surveying the files of proletarian

commuters with a glorious calmness of scorn and superiority. His

mood of sanguine assurance and self-esteem is so complete, so

unruffled, and so composed that we cannot help loving him. Lucky

youth, devoid of cares, responsibilities, and chagrins! Does he not

belong to the conquering class that has us all under its thumb? What

does it matter that he (probably) knows less about cooking than you

or I? He gazes with glorious cheer upon the wretched middle class,

and as our train rolls away we see him still gazing across the

darkling cellars of the station with that untroubled gleam of

condescension, his eyes seeming (as we look back at them) as large

and white and unspeculative as billiard balls.

In the eye of one commuter, the 12:50 SATURDAY ONLY is the

most exciting train of all. What a gay, heavily-bundled, and

loquacious crowd it is that gathers by the gate at the Atlantic

Avenue terminal. There is a holiday spirit among the throng, which

pants a little after the battle down and up those steps leading from

the subway. (What a fine sight, incidentally, is the stag-like stout

man who always leaps from the train first and speeds scuddingly

along the platform, to reach the stairs before any one else.) Here

is the man who always carries a blue cardboard box full of chicks.

Their plaintive chirpings sound shrill and disconsolate. There is

such a piercing sorrow and perplexity in their persistent query that

one knows they have the true souls of minor poets. Here are two

cheerful stenographers off to Rockaway for the week-end. They are

rather sarcastic about another young woman of their party who always

insists on sleeping under sixteen blankets when at the shore.

But the high point of the trip comes when one changes at Jamaica,

there boarding the 1:15 for Salamis. This is the train that on

Saturdays takes back the two famous club cars, known to all

travellers on the Oyster Bay route. Behind partly drawn blinds the

luncheon tables are spread; one gets narrow glimpses of the great

ones of the Island at their tiffin. This is a militant moment for

the white-jacketed steward of the club car. On Saturdays there are

always some strangers, unaccustomed to the ways of this train, who

regard the two wagons of luxury as a personal affront. When they

find all the seats in the other cars filled they sternly desire to

storm the door of the club car, where the proud steward stands on

guard. "What's the matter with this car?" they say. "Nothing's the

matter with it," he replies. Other more humble commuters stand in

the vestibule, enjoying these little arguments. It is always quite

delightful to see the indignation of these gallant creatures, their

faces seamed with irritation to think that there should be a holy of

holies into which they may not tread.

A proud man, and a high-spirited, is the conductor of the 4:27 on

weekdays. This train, after leaving Jamaica, does not stop until

Salamis is reached. It attains such magnificent speed that it always

gets to Salamis a couple of minutes ahead of time. Then stands the

conductor on the platform, watch in hand, receiving the plaudits of

those who get off. The Salamites have to stand patiently beside the

train--it is a level crossing--until it moves on. This is the daily

glory of this conductor, as he stands, watch in one hand, the other

hand on the signal cord, waiting for Time to catch up with him.

"_Some_ train," we cry up at him; he tries not to look pleased, but

he is a happy man. Then he pulls the cord and glides away.

Among other articulations in the anatomy of commuting, we mention

the fact that no good trainman ever speaks of a train _going_ or

_stopping_ anywhere. He says, "This train _makes_ Sea Cliff and Glen

Cove; it don't make Salamis." To be more purist still, one should

refer to the train as "he" (as a kind of extension of the engineer's

personality, we suppose). If you want to speak with the tongue of a

veteran, you will say, "He makes Sea Cliff and Glen Cove."

The commuter has a chance to observe all manner of types among his

brethren. On our line we all know by sight the two fanatical checker

players, bent happily over their homemade board all the way to town.

At Jamaica they are so absorbed in play that the conductor--this is

the conductor who is so nervous about missing a fare and asks

everyone three times if his ticket has been punched--has to rout

them out to change to the Brooklyn train. "How's the game this

morning?" says someone. "Oh, I was just trimming him, but they made

us change." However thick the throng, these two always manage to

find seats together. They are still hard at it when Atlantic Avenue

is reached, furiously playing the last moves as the rest file out.

Then there is the humorous news-agent who takes charge of the

smoking car between Jamaica and Oyster Bay. There is some mysterious

little game that he conducts with his clients. Very solemnly he

passes down the aisle distributing rolled-up strips of paper among

the card players. By and by it transpires that some one has won a

box of candy. Just how this is done we know not. Speaking of card

players, observe the gaze of anguish on the outpost. He dashes

ahead, grabs two facing seats and sits in one with a face contorted

with anxiety for fear that the others will be too late to join him.

As soon as a card game is started there are always a half dozen

other men who watch it, following every play with painful scrutiny.

It seems that watching other people play cards is the most absorbing

amusement known to the commuter.

Then there is the man who carries a heavy bag packed with books. A

queer creature, this. Day by day he lugs that bag with him yet

spends all his time reading the papers and rarely using the books he

carries. His pipe always goes out just as he reaches his station;

frantically he tries to fill and light it before the train stops.

Sometimes he digs deeply into the bag and brings out a large slab of

chocolate, which he eats with an air of being slightly ashamed of

himself. The oddities of this person do not amuse us any the less

because he happens to be ourself.

So fares the commuter: a figure as international as the teddy bear.

He has his own consolations--of a morning when he climbs briskly

upward from his dark tunnel and sees the sunlight upon the spread

wings of the Telephone and Telegraph Building's statue, and moves

again into the stirring pearl and blue of New York's lucid air. And

at night, though drooping a little in the heat and dimness of those

Oyster Bay smoking cars, he is dumped down and set free. As he

climbs the long hill and tunes his thoughts in order, the sky is a

froth of stars.

[Illustration]

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