"I suppose you did, or you would not have written. And now what can I do
for you?"
She leaned forward to look at him.
"Then you really have forgotten? You didn't grieve for me long! You used
to say you would never leave off loving me as long as you lived."
"My dear Mrs. Benoliel," he said, "if I ever said anything so
thoughtless as that, I certainly _have_ forgotten it."
"Very well," she said; "then go!"
This straight hitting embarrassed him mortally.
"But," he said, "I've not forgotten that you and I were once friends for
a little while, and I do beg you to consider me as a friend. Let me help
you. You must have some need of a friend's services, or you would not
have sent for me. I assure you I am entirely at your commands. Come,
tell me how I can help you--"
"You can't help me at all," she said hopelessly, "nobody can now."
"I've heard--I hope you'll forgive me for saying so--I've heard that
your married life has been--hasn't been--"
"My married life has been hell," she said; "but I don't want to talk
about that. I deserved it all."
"But, my dear lady, why not get a divorce or, at least, a separation? My
services--anything I can do to advise or--"
She sprang from her chair and knelt beside him.
"Oh, how _could_ you think that of me? How could you? He's
dead--Benoliel's dead. I thought you'd understand that by my sending to
you. Do you think I'd ever have seen you again as long as _he_ was
alive? I'm not a wicked woman, dear, I'm only a fool."
She had caught the hand that lay on the arm of his chair, her face was
pressed on it, and on it he could feel her tears and her kisses.
"Don't," he said harshly, "don't." But he could not bring himself to
draw his hand away otherwise than very gently, and after a decent pause.
He stood up and held out his hand. She put hers in it, he raised her to
her feet and put her back in her chair, and artfully entrenching himself
behind a little table, sat down in a very stiff chair with a high seat
and gilt legs.
She laughed. "Oh, don't trouble! You needn't barricade yourself like a
besieged castle. Don't be afraid of me. You're really quite safe. I'm
not so mad as you think. Only, you know, all this time I've never been
able to get the idea out of my head--"
He was afraid to ask what idea.
"I always believed you meant it; that you always would love me, just as
you said. I was wrong, that's all. Now go! Do go!"
He was afraid to go.
"No," he said, "let's talk quietly, and like the old friends we were
before we--"
"Before we weren't. Well?"
He was now afraid to say anything.
"Look here," she said suddenly, "let _me_ talk. There are some things I
do really want to say, since you won't let it go without saying. One is
that I know now you're not so much to blame as I thought, and I _do_
forgive you. I mean it, really, not just pretending forgiveness; I
forgive you altogether--"
"_You_--forgive _me_?"
"Yes, didn't you understand that that was what I meant? I didn't want to
_say_ 'I forgive you,' and I thought if I sent for you you'd
understand."
"You seem to have thought your sending for me a more enlightening move
than I found it."
"Yes--because you don't care now. If you had, you'd have understood."
"I really think I should like to understand."
"What?"
"Exactly what it is you're kind enough to forgive."
"Why--your never coming to see me. Benoliel told me before we'd been
married a month that he had got my aunt to stop your letters and mine,
so I don't blame you now as I did then. But you might have come when you
found I didn't write."
"I did come. The house was shut up, and the caretaker could give no
address."
"Did you really? And there was no address? I never thought of that."
"I don't suppose you did," he said savagely; "you never _did_ think!"
"Oh, I _was_ a fool! I was!"
"Yes."
"But I have been punished."
"Not you!" he said. "You got what you wanted--money, money, money--the
only thing I couldn't give you. If it comes to that, why didn't _you_
come and see _me_? I hadn't gone away and left no address."
"I never thought of it."
"No, of course not."
"And, besides, you wouldn't have been there--"
"I? I sat day after day waiting for a letter."
"I never thought of it," she said again.