CHAPTER XXI.

EXPERIMENTS OF AMATEURS.

The newspapers of the day were now occupied with speculative and actual

statistics, of various kinds, relating to the utility and value of

poultry and its produce, and every one seemed to join, in his or her

way, to magnify the vastness of this enterprise; and statements like the

following, in respectable public journals, had the effect to increase

and keep up to fever-heat the state of the hen malady:

"By reference to the agricultural statistics of the United States,

published from reliable sources in 1850, it may be seen that the actual

value of poultry, in New York State alone, was two millions three

hundred and seventy-three thousand and twenty-nine dollars! Which was

more than the value of _all the swine_ in the same state; nearly equal

to _one half the value of its sheep_, the _entire_ value of its _neat

cattle_, and nearly _five times_ the value of its _horses and mules_!"

The amount of sales of live and dead _poultry_ in Quincy Market, Boston,

for the year 1848, said another paper, was six hundred seventy-four

thousand four hundred and twenty-three dollars: the average sales of one

dealer alone amounting to twelve hundred dollars per week for the whole

year. The amount of sales for the whole city of Boston, for the same

year, was over one million of dollars. The amount of sales of _eggs_ in

and around the Quincy Market for 1848 was one million one hundred and

twenty-nine thousand seven hundred and thirty-five dozen, which, at

eighteen cents per dozen, makes the amount paid for eggs to be two

hundred three thousand three hundred and fifty-two dollars and thirty

cents; while the amount of sales of eggs for the whole city of Boston,

for the same year, was a fraction short of one million of dollars; the

daily consumption of eggs at one of its hotels being seventy-five dozen

daily, and on Saturday one hundred and fifty dozen.

At this time, a single dealer in the egg-trade, at Philadelphia, sent to

the New York market, daily, one hundred barrels of eggs; while the value

of eggs shipped from Dublin to Liverpool and London was more than five

millions of dollars for the year 1848.

In addition to these facts, frequent allusions were made to the enormous

quantities required for other markets, in the interior, to supply which

the number of laying hens must be kept good, and increased, as the

demand for the eggs was constantly augmenting, and the business, "if

skilfully and judiciously managed" (said the agricultural papers),

_must_ prove immensely profitable to those who engage in it.

If "skilfully and judiciously managed"! This was good advice. But no one

could inform "the people" how this management was to be effected. In the

mean time, every sort of experiment was resorted to, by amateurs and

fanciers and humbugs (who had been humbugged), to "improve" the breeds

of poultry, and to produce new fowls that would lay two or three or four

eggs for one, as compared with the old-fashioned birds.

We knew one beginner who had purchased a pretty little place a few miles

from the city, who contracted the fever, and "suffered" badly, but who

was cured by the following curious result of his early experiments. Eggs

were scarce (genuine ones), and, after considerable searching, he

finally procured of some one in Boston a clutch of "fancy" eggs, for

which he paid big figures, but which did not _turn out_ exactly what he

anticipated; and so _he_ concluded, after a time, that the hen fever was

a rascally hum. (He didn't procure these eggs of _me_, be it understood.

_I_ never had any but _genuine_ ones!)

He purchased what he was assured were pure "Cochin-China" eggs. (Perhaps

they were--who knows?) And after waiting patiently for six long weeks

for the "curious" eggs to hatch, he found six young _ducks_ in his coop,

one morning!--So much for his knowledge of eggs!

But this was not so bad as was the case of one of his neighbors,

however, who paid a round price for half a dozen choice eggs,

queer-looking speckled eggs--small, round, "outlandish" eggs--which he

felt certain would produce _rare_ chicks, and which he was very cautious

in setting under his very best hen.

At the end of a few days he was startled, at the breakfast-table, to

hear his favorite hen screaming "bloody murder" from within the coop! He

rushed to the rescue, raised the box-lid, and found her still on the

nest, but in a frightful perturbation--struggling, yelling and cackling,

most vociferously.

He spoke to her kindly and softly; he would fain, appease and quiet her;

for there was great danger lest, in her excitement and struggles, she

would destroy the favorite eggs--those rare eggs, which had cost him so

much money and trouble. But soft words were vain. His "best" hen

continued to scream lustily, and he raised her from the nest to look

into the cause of the trouble more critically. His astonishment was

instantaneous, but immense; and his surprise found vent in the brief but

expressive exclamation, "_Turkles--by thunder_!"

Such was the fact. This poor, innocent poultry-"fancier" was the victim

of misplaced confidence. The party who sold him _them_ eggs had sold the

buyer shockingly! And instead of a brood of pure Cochin-Chinas, he

found that his favorite hen had hatched half a dozen pure _mud-turtles_,

all of which, upon breaking from the shells, seized upon the flesh of

the poor fowl, and had well-nigh taken her life before they could be

"choked off." He has given up the chicken-trade, and has since gone into

the dwarf-pear business. Poor devil!

A youthful lawyer of my acquaintance, away Down East, who was proverbial

for his "sharp practice" at the bar, met with a young doctor, who was a

great bird-fancier, and with whom he subsequently formed an intimate

acquaintance. Our medicinal friend owned a pretty little estate; distant

a few miles from the city of P----, where he kept up a very neat

establishment, which was thoroughly appointed. Among his out-of-door

appurtenances, he maintained a modern bee-house, a choice dove-cot, and

a well-selected aviary; in the latter he had some choice poultry, and

into this the doctor invited his legal associate, one day, to examine

his specimens of cacklers and crowers.

There was a super-excellent "Bother'em" fowl among this collection,--a

rare hen, the many good qualities of which the doctor dilated on (as he

always did before his visitors), and the lawyer took a fancy to the

beauty, instanter; but this fowl was a great favorite, and the doctor

would neither sell, lend, or give her away; and then the visitor begged

some of her eggs, as a last favor. But the doctor was selfish in regard

to this particular bird--he wanted the breed exclusively to himself. It

was of no avail, however, and his friend promised to embrace the first

opportunity to steal the hen, and all the eggs he could find, if his

request were not complied with; whereupon the doctor at length

reluctantly promised to send him a dozen within a week, provided he said

nothing about it. He would do it for _him_, as a particular favor--and

so he was as good as his word.

The young lawyer had his poultry-yard, also; and, selecting a fine hen,

he quickly set her upon the choice Bother'em eggs, resolved to have as

good a show as his neighbor. But three weeks passed--four, and

upwards--but no chickens appeared! He broke up the nest, at last, and

then called upon the doctor at once.

"What luck, Tom?"

"Not a chick!"

"No!"

"Not a _one_. The eggs weren't good."

"No? That is queer," continued the doctor, "when I took so much extra

pains with 'em."

"Extra pains--how?"

"Why, _I boiled every one of 'em_, the last thing before I sent 'em down

to you!"

And so he did. Tom grinned, squirmed, and went home,--but that wasn't

the last of this joke.

Six months afterwards, the keen-witted doctor visited the lawyer's

little place, where he saw a magnificent large Bucks County rooster

stalking about in the latter's yard.

"By Jove, Tom! That's a rouser," exclaimed the doctor, enthusiastically,

"'pon my word! Where d'you get him?"

"Pennsylvania--Buxton's; a fine fellow that. Only eight months old."

"Will you sell him?"

"Yes--no; I reckon not, on the whole."

"I'll give you an X for him."

"Well, take him. He's worth twenty dollars; but you shall have him for

ten dollars, being an old friend."

The doctor placed the huge crower in his gig immediately, went home,

killed off two of the finest Dorking roosters in the county, and put the

new comer into his nice poultry-house; congratulating himself upon

having at last secured a "tip-top breeder," and nothing else.

At the end of the season, however, he complained to his friend the

lawyer that he had had but very few eggs latterly; he could raise no

chickens from them--not a _one_; and he didn't think much of the

ten-dollar bird he purchased of him, any way.

"He's a rouser, Bill, surely," said the lawyer, with a knowing smirk,

repeating the doctor's exclamation on first beholding the rooster.

"Well, yes--large, large--but--"

"And a finer _capon_ I never sold to anybody in my life!"

"A _what_!" screamed the doctor, springing towards his horse, which

stood near by.

"What's the price of _b'iled eggs_, Bill?" roared the lawyer, in reply.

"Ten dollars a dozen, by thunder!" was the answer, as the doctor drove

his rowels into the sides of his nag, and dashed away from his friend's

gate a _wiser_ if not a better man.

Many amateur poultry-raisers resorted to the most ridiculous and

injurious shifts for remedies against the ills that hen-flesh is heir

to. I have known certain friends who passed two or three hours every

morning in running about their fowl-premises with pill-box and

pepper-cup in hand, zealously dosing their drooping chickens, to their

certain destruction. And some of the "doctors" went into _jalap_, in

cases of colds, fevers, &c., in their fowls. We should as soon think of

using arsenic, or any other poison, under such circumstances. The

internal formation of a hen is scarcely believed to resemble that of a

human being, surely; and why such medicinal applications, pray? This

reminds us of a private joke, by the way, that was "let out" by a young

fancier (out West) a little while ago.

He had a bad cold himself, and had mixed "summat hot" to swallow, one

evening. His servant informed him that his favorite Cochin-China crower

had been ill for a day or two; and he ordered twenty grains of jalap to

be prepared for his fine bird. By some mistake his toddy was given to

the crower, and he swallowed the hen-medicine himself, and retired to

bed.

He slept soundly for a time, but was visited with shocking dreams. He

fancied himself to be a huge rooster--one of the biggest kind; that he

had taken all the premiums at all the shows, and that he had finally

been set to hatch over a bushel of Shanghae eggs. It was the twentieth

day, at last, and the chickens commenced to come forth from their shells

beneath him. He dare not move,--his fowl-cure was at work,--and his

critical position, for the time being, can be better imagined than

portrayed. With a desperate effort, and a shrieking crow, he at length

sprang from his couch, dashed out of doors, and, since the day

afterwards, has resolved to eschew the use of jalap among his

poultry,--a determination which, in all candor, we recommend earnestly

to the hen-Galens who imagine that a hen is "a human."

It had now become an every-day occurrence to hear of black chickens

emerging from what were "warranted" pure white fowls' eggs; top-knot

birds peeped forth from the eggs of pure-bred anti-crested hens; and all

colors and shapes and varieties of chickens, except those that they

were purchased for, made their appearance about the time of hatching the

eggs so bought.

All the old-fashioned fowls were utterly discarded. Cochin-Chinaism,

Shanghae-ism, Bother'em Pootrumism, was rampant. The fancy egg-trade had

begun to fall off sensibly. "The people" had had enough of _this_ part

of the enterprise, which was destined to prove so "immensely

profitable," if "judiciously and skilfully managed;" and the price was

reduced to the miserable sum of three to five dollars a dozen, only, as

customers chanced to turn up.

From the commencement of the trade, in 1849, down to the month of

August, 1853, I had a continued and certain sale, however, for every egg

deposited upon my premises, at _my_ price.

But this, though an exception, was not to be wondered at. _I_ kept and

raised only the "genuine" article.

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The History of the Hen Fever. A Humorous Record · 第 21 / 47 章