Babyishness, 15, 64, 80, 85, 90, 98, 116, 119, 120, 123, 147, 154–156,
191, 209, 210, 212, 218, 219, 222, 239, 246, 219
Beauty, feminine, powerless, 47, 236
Bemoaning lot, 41, 46, 48, 49, 51, 53, 54, 58, 67, 69, 70, 75, 129,
141, 196, 209, 235, 245
Betrayal of author, 139
Beza on androgynes, 6
Biblical condemnation not applicable, 107
Birth, 27
Blackmailers, 112, 145, 149, 165, 171, 186, 193, 212, 225, 241, 242
Body-shaving, 124
Bowery, debut on, 66
night on, 147
Burglarized, 241
Business success of author, 244
C
Cannibalism, 171
Career (open) ends, 231
Cast out of a camp, 121
Castration, 197
appeal for at nineteen, 74
by self meditated, 41
effects of, 198 ff., 230
Cause of inversion, 18
Ceremony of adoration and of enslavement, 98
Chance encounters with associates of other self, 162 ff.
Child, hypochondriacal and weak, 31
Childhood eccentricities, 37
pastimes, 36, 37
Childlikeness when adult, 14, 44, 119, 189, 248
Chronic overwhelming fear, 146
Coitus cum puella, 30, 236
Coitus (fellatio) a panacea, 82
effects of, 82, 90, 92 ff., 243
Coitus, methods of, 89 ff.
Conflict of my two lives, 129
Conflicts of double life, 162
Conversation, samples of, 64, 72, 122, 129, 134, 148, 165, 169, 181,
192, 211
Convulsions in early childhood, 31
Courtmartialled, 229
Cured (practically), 235, 245
D
Darkest New York, 154
Debut as deliciae militum, 111
as high-class fairie, 122
as low-class fairie, 142
at Fort X, 191
at Fort Y, 202
in Fort Z company, 225
in Fourteenth Street, 122
in Stuyvesant Square, 130
on Bowery, 66
on Mulberry Street, 71
Defecation, incontinence of, 158
Depilation, 124
Detective arrests, 130
Divine ban on celibacy, 161
Double-life disclosed, 139, 188
reason for, 174
Driven to a stripling, 195
E
Eavesdroppers, 152, 168
Eekhoud on inversion, 20
Effects of fellatio on associates, 88, 89, 194
Ejaculations in self, 39, 92, 95, 195, 196, 198
Ellis’s theory of inversion, 21
Encounters with acquaintances of one life while living out the other,
162 ff.
Eradication of facial hair, 124, 202
Erotic dreams, 46
Ethics of inversion, 23, 45, 52, 56, 67, 81, 105 ff., 139, 142, 190,
194, 247
Eunuchs by birth, in India, 69, 117, 155
Europe, adventures in, 186 ff.
Evening with a gang, 78
Expelled from university, 140
F
Fairie apprenticeship, 77 ff.
by destiny, 29, 35, 45, 74, 76
defined, 7
in all communities, 33, 156
other, 32, 33, 125, 155
qualifications, 119, 120, 189, 209
sobriquets, 155
Faith-cure tried, 68
Farewell to forts, 216
Fourteenth Street, 134
low-class fairie period, 157
Mulberry Street, 99
Fear of slums, 146, 176
Fellatio, at age of twelve, 39
defence of, 90, 106 ff.
defined, 89, 90, 92
early opinions of, 42
in infancy, 30 ff.
in early youth, 39
its genesis, 15, 29
not a sin, 106 ff.
not rare, 92
obsession declines, 230
prescribed by physician, 81, 105
Female and infant impersonation natural, 19, 209
Female brain in male body, 19, 246
Female-impersonation, 10, 19, 31, 36, 62, 64, 85, 98, 111, 118, 119,
120, 143, 156, 191, 202, 225, 237
Female-impersonation sprees, 62 ff., 71, 77 ff., 85, 101 ff., 111, 122,
128, 133, 147 ff., 151 ff., 154 ff., 157, 167 ff., 178 ff., 180 ff.,
191 ff., 201 ff., 225
Feminine apparel, yearning for, 36, 103
stamp on author, 10–12, 13, 36–38, 248–250
Femininity, sensitiveness over, 37, 48
Fetishes, 49, 50, 206
First catch, 72
encounter with Mars, 111
full knowledge, 57
half of open career ends, 188
knowledge of N. Y. professionals, 78
knowledge of other adult inverts, 53
nocturnal ramble, 61
reading about inverts, 70
robbery and assault, 65
self-knowledge, 46
Flirtations of boyhood, 36, 37, 43
Forced into breeches, 35
Fort X, debut at, 191
Fort Y, debut at, 202
Fort Z men cultivated, 225 ff.
Fourteenth Street period, 122 ff.
Frequency of fairie-ism, 151
of passive inversion, 2, 34
Freshman year, 47 ff.
G
Gethsemane, author’s, 46
Girl-boy playmates, 32
Glimpses into Hell’s Kitchen, 62, 167
Gonorrhea, 126, 190
Grapes conduce syphilis, 234
Gynander, 28
H
Hair system of author, 11, 13, 124, 125, 199
Half-murdered, 228
Haunted by sensual images, 59
Hecatontandry, 193
Hell’s Kitchen, glimpses into, 62 ff., 167
Hermaphrodism, types of, 8, 10, 33, 70
Hermaphroditos, 5
High-class fairieship, 122 ff.
How marriage bond was cemented, 83
Hyperæsthesia, author’s, 94
I
Incognito adventures inevitable, 137
In college gymnasium, 103
Infant fairie, 30 ff.
Infantilism, psychical (See _Babyishness_)
Innocent in red-light district, 66
Instinct proven irresistible, 105, 174, 175
Inter femora defined, 95
In the lair of a strumpet, 102
In the slums in my best, 101
Introspective, 1
Inversion, cause, 18
frequency of, 2, 34
not sodomy, 21
promotes music, 33
Inverts, forbearance due, 109
good actors, 118 ff., 156
occupying eminent positions, 91, 175
two kinds, 20
Irresponsibility, dawning sense of, 51
I touch bottom, 143
J
Jail, reflections in, 113
Jennie J. encounters R.W.’s associates, 164
Jennie June is introduced, 62
K
Krafft-Ebing on androgynes, 6
Kurella’s theory of inversion, 22
L
Legal injustice to inverts, 23, 24, 133, 136, 229
Letters, sample, 201, 210, 214
Liquor vitæ as medicament, 93
Looked upon as girl, 10, 48, 85, 120, 128, 192, 204, 206, 218, 222
Low-class fairieship, 142 ff.
M
Manuscript of autobiography stolen, 241
Manustupration, 38, 41, 97
Medicine, recourse to, 47, 73, 81
Melancholia, 32, 45, 46, 48, 54, 58, 67, 69, 70, 75, 104, 109, 136,
141, 173, 176, 230, 235, 238, 239, 241, 245
Mental acumen, 38, 93, 114, 123, 139, 140
Mental characteristics, 12, 14–17
Method of leading up, 63, 181
Middle life reached, 238
Milites easiest of conquests, 117
Model pupil, 38
Monandry, periods of, 138, 237, 240
Moral paragon outside venery, 44, 121, 131, 136, 189, 242
Morality judged by others, 25, 44, 81, 140
Mujerados among red men, 70, 156
Mulberry Street period, 77 ff.
farewell to, 99
night on, 85
Muscle dance, 15, 166
Music, effect of, 116
N
Nature of satisfaction, 91, 97
Nature’s aim in androgynism, 88, 108, 243
No alcohol, no syphilis, 234
Nymphomania, 59, 60, 96, 104, 142, 159, 173, 174, 195
O
Open career ends, 231
Opinion of inversion, prevalent, 25, 75, 110, 140
Outcast period, 141 ff.
P
Pædicatio dangerous, 82, 96, 158
defined, 92, 96
Parentage, 27
Persecution of inverts, 130, 132, 149, 172, 227, 235
Petit-jesus, etymology, 8
Physical traits, 12, 13, 35, 48, 248
Physicians consulted, 47, 73, 81
Pickpocketing, 101, 145, 203, 228
Police, encounters with, 112, 122, 132, 145, 178, 193, 207, 229
Polyandry vs. monandry, 88
Polyglottism and inversion, 17
Popularity and fame achieved, 205
Potassium iodide antidote vs. ill effects, 95
Prayers for feminization, 41
virility, 46, 67, 68
Pregnancy, fear of, 43
Private secretary period, 173 ff.
Professional fairies, 122, 125, 143, 155
Pursued by women, 13
Q
Quarters of the city frequented, 76, 122, 131, 143
R
Race for life, 170
Raison d’étre of inverts, 88, 108, 243
Recognized by Jennie J’s associates, 162 ff.
Recognized by Ralph W’s associates, 162 ff.
Reform, 158
Rejected by Providence from ministry, 76, 161
Relatives, abnormal, 28
Religion unavailing, 49, 56, 58, 68, 159
Religious prodigy, 35, 45, 58, 68, 248
worker, 35, 45, 47, 56, 80, 81, 159, 162, 230
Reveries, youthful, 40
Robbers, 64, 78, 102, 145, 149, 169, 179, 193, 214, 241
Rockies, in, 235
Ruffians’ attitude, 63
S
Sadism, 98, 214
St. Vitus’ dance, 37
School life, 38
Second nocturnal ramble, 71
Semen ingested, effect of, 93
Semi-invalid, author a, 244
Senior year, 122 ff.
Sex is psychical primarily, 22
scale, 9
Sexes not sharply divided, 8
Sexual determinants of author, 10–13
lot compared with normal, 243
precocity, 30
preferences, 87, 127, 142, 149
reveries, youthful, 40
starvation, 104
Sexually abnormal relatives, 28
Singing, fairie, 78, 155, 192
Soldiers deliciae, 111 ff., 138, 147, 189 ff., 236, 240
demigods, 50, 115, 190, 192, 202, 206
European, 187
in camp, 116 ff.
in squad-room, 191, 192
persecution by, 193, 225 ff.
susceptibility to homosexuality, 117 ff., 191
Songs, 217 ff.
Sophomore and junior years, 69 ff.
Spermatorrhea, 194, 196
Spied on, 225
Spree, preliminaries to, 177
Squad-room, evening in, 192
Squaw-men in red race, 70, 156
Stamping ground as low-class fairie, 144
Steamboat flirtation, 180
Stuyvesant Square, debut in, 131
Suicide contemplated, 32, 37, 46, 58, 69, 106, 109, 113, 141, 173, 235
Syphilis, 126, 127, 150, 231 ff.
T
Taste for learning, 17, 35, 38, 51, 125, 139
Tattooing, 87, 192
Teasing, subject of, 14, 208, 212, 248
Temptations peculiar to inverts, 39, 43, 44, 48–51, 55, 74, 235
Tobacco, never used, 77
Two-sided life, 119
Typical chase, 153
Typical night on side street, 151
U
Undersized, 13, 35
Usual treatment of inverts, 75, 110
V
Venereal disease, 126, 127, 150, 190, 231 ff.
Venery, excessive, harmful, 150
Verdicts of pastor and alienist, 81
Voice, singing, 11, 27, 78, 192
speaking, 11
W
Warts, venereal, 126
Weight, author’s, 198
Whistling, inability, 37
Who cultivate androgynes, 32, 33, 86, 117, 243
Why a double life, 174
Why an autobiography, 1, 3, 7, 35
Why fairie career ended, 231, 235
Wilde, Oscar, 20, 251
Y
Youthful appearance, 16, 189, 244
Year 1874 on, 27 ff.
1883 on, 38 ff.
1889 on, 45 ff.
1891 on, 47 ff.
1893, 77 ff.
1894–5, 99 ff.
1896, 128 ff.
1897, 158 ff.
1898, 180 ff.
1899–01, 189 ff.
1902, 203 ff.
1903–4, 210 ff.
1905–6, 216 ff.
1907–18, 235 ff.
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TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES
1. Silently corrected obvious typographical errors and variations in
spelling.
2. Retained archaic, non-standard, and uncertain spellings as printed.
3. Enclosed italics font in _underscores_.