photograph of that avenue just by our cottage at Colne) I have been into
Wales for a fortnight to see Percy, & have looked for the first time in my
life on the Atlantic--the ocean my mental eyes travel over & beyond so
often and that your eyes and ears & heart have been fed by, have communed
with and interpreted, as in a new tongue, to the soul of man. Looking upon
that, watching the tides ebb & flow on your shores, sharing, through my
beloved book, in those greatest movements you have spent alone with
it--that was a new joyful experience, a fresh kind of communing with
you.--I went to Wales because I felt anxious about Percy, who is not happy
just now. I must not tell friends here about it (except his brother &
sisters) but I am sure I may tell you, for you will listen with sympathy.
He has attached himself very deeply, I think it will prove, to a girl, &
she to him, whose parents welcomed him cordially to their house for a year
or two & allowed plenty of intercourse till they became aware through
Percy himself (who thought it right to tell the father as soon as he was
fully aware of his own feelings & more than suspected Norah's response to
them) that there was a strong affection growing up between the two. Then
they peremptorily forbade all intercourse--not because they have any
objection to Percy--quite the contrary, they say; but solely and simply
because he is not yet earning money enough to marry on, & they hold that a
man has no right to engage a girl's affections till he can do so. As if
these things could be timed to the moment the money comes in! Percy was in
hopes, & so was I, that if I went down, I might get sense enough into
their heads, if not kindness & sympathy into their hearts, to see that the
sole effect of such arbitrary & narrow-sighted conduct would be to
alienate & embitter the young people's feelings toward them, while it
would make them more restless & anxious to marry without adequate means.
Whereas if a reasonable amount of intercourse were allowed, it would be a
happy time with them, & Norah being still so young (18), & Percy working
away with all his might, doing very well for his age & sure,
conscientious, thorough, capable, & well trained worker that he is (for
the L. School of Mais gives a first rate scientific preparation for his
profession) to be making a modest sufficiency in a year or two. Well, they
were very courteous & indeed friendly to me, & I think I have won over the
mother; but the father remains obdurate, & Percy feels bitterly the
separation--all the more trying as they live almost within sight of each
other. So Beatrice & Grace are going to spend their holidays with him this
summer to cheer him up. Meanwhile, dear friend, I am on the whole happier
than not about him. I liked what I saw of Norah & believe he has found a
very sweet, affectionate girl of quiet, domestic nature, practical,
industrious, sensible--thoroughly well to suit him, & that there is true &
deep love between them--also, she took to me very much, & I feel will be
quite another child to me. It is besides no little joy to me to find how
Percy has confided in me in this & chooses me as the friend to whom he
tells all--far from being any separation, as sometimes happens, this love
of his seems to draw us closer together. Only I am very, very anxious for
his sake to see him in a better berth--they would let her marry him on
L300 a year; now he has only L175. He is quite competent to manage iron or
copper or tin works, only he looks so young, not having yet any beard or
moustache to speak of. That is the end of my long story.
This will reach you on your birthday perhaps, my dearest Friend; at any
rate it must bear you a greeting of love and fond remembrance for that
dear day such as my heart will send you when it actually comes: patiently
waiting heart, with the fibres of love and boundless trust & joy & hope
which bind me to you bedded deep, grown to be, during these long years, a
very part of its immortal substance, untouchable by age or varying moods
or sickness, or death itself, as I surely believe. I long more than words
can tell to know how it fares with you now in health and spirit. My
children are all well & growing & unfolding to my heart's content.
Beatrice & Herbert deeply influenced by your Poems. Good-bye, my dearest
Friend.
A. GILCHRIST.
LETTER XXVIII
ANNE GILCHRIST TO WALT WHITMAN
_Address
1 Torriano Gardens
Camden Road, N. W.
London
Earls Colne
Aug. 28, 1875._
MY DEAREST FRIEND:
Your letter came to me just when I most needed the comfort of it--when I
was watching and tending my dear Mother as she gently, slowly, with but
little suffering, sank to rest. There was no sick bed to sit by--we got
her up and out into the air and sunshine for an hour or two even the day
before she died--No disease, only the stomach could not do its work any
longer & for the last three weeks she lived wholly on stimulants,
suffering somewhat from sickness. She drew her last breath very gently
before daybreak on the 15th inst., in her 90th year, which she had entered
in Jan. She looked very beautiful in death, notwithstanding her great
age--as well she might--tranquil sunset that it was of a beautiful day--a
fulfilled life--joy & delight of her father in youth (who used to call her
the apple of his eye), good wife, devoted, self-sacrificing, wise
mother--patient, courageous sufferer through thirty years of chronic
rheumatism, which, however, neutralized & ceased its pains the last few
years--unsurpassed, & indeed I think unsurpassable, in
conscientiousness--in the strong sense of duty & perfect obedience to that
highest sense--she is one of those who amply justify your large faith in
women.
I do not need to tell you anything, my dearest friend--you know all--I
feel your strong comforting hand--I press it very close.
I had all my children with me at the funeral.
O the comfort your dear letter was & is to me. Thinking over & over the
few words you say of yourself--& what is said in the paper (so eagerly
read--every word so welcome) I cannot help fancying that the return of the
distressing sensations in the head must be caused by your having worked at
the book--the "Two Rivulets" (I dearly like the title & the idea of
bringing the Poems & Prose together so)--that you must be more patient
with yourself and submit still to perfect rest--& that perhaps in regard
to the stomach--you have not enough adapted your diet to the privation of
exercise--that you must be more indulgent to the stomach too in the sense
of giving it only the very easiest & simplest work to do. My children join
their love with mine.
Your own loving
ANNE.
[Illustration: FACSIMILE OF ONE OF ANNE GILCHRIST'S LETTERS TO WALT
WHITMAN]
[Illustration: FACSIMILE OF ONE OF ANNE GILCHRIST'S LETTERS TO WALT
WHITMAN]
LETTER XXIX
ANNE GILCHRIST TO WALT WHITMAN
_1 Torriano Gardens
Camden Rd., Nov. 16, 1875.
London_
I have been wanting the comfort of a talk with you, dearest Friend, for
weeks & weeks, without being able to get leisure & tranquillity enough to
do it to my heart's content--indeed, heart's content is not for me at
present--but restless, eager, longing to come--& the struggle to do
patiently & completely & wisely what remains for me here before I am free
to obey the deep faith and love which govern me--so let me sit close
beside you, my Darling--& feel your presence & take comfort & strength &
serenity from it as I do, as I can when with all my heart & soul I draw
close to you, realizing your living presence with all my might.--First,
about Percy--things are beginning to look a little brighter for him. He is
just entering upon a new engagement with some very large & successful
works--the Blenavon Iron Co.--where, though his salary will not be higher
at first, his opportunities of improvement will be better & he is also to
be allowed to take private practice (in assaying & analyzing). The manager
there believes in Science & is friendly to Percy & will give him every
facility for showing what he can do, so that he hopes to prove to the
Directors before long that he is worth a good salary. The parents of Norah
(whom he loves) have released from their unfriendly attitude since my
Beatrice has been staying with them; the two girls have attached
themselves to one another & Per. has had delightful opportunities of
being with Norah, & best of all, she is to return here with Beatrice (they
are coming to-morrow), & Per. is to have a week's holiday & come up, so
that he & Norah will be wholly together & have, I suspect, the happiest
week they have yet had in their lives. Then I have stored away for them
the furniture of the dear old home at Colne, & I really think that by the
time '76 is out they will be able to marry. I see, and indeed I have known
ever since he formed this attachment, that I must not look for him to come
to America with me. But what I build upon, Dearest Friend, is that when I
have been a little while in America & have made friends & had time to look
about me I might hear of a good certainty for him--his excellent training
at the School of Mines, large experience at Blenavon, energy, ability, &
sturdy uprightness will make him a first-rate manager of works by & bye.
But the leaving him so happy with his young wife will make it easier for
us to part. _Nov. 26_--Beatrice has begun to work at anatomy at the School
of Medicine for Women lately founded, & seems to delight in her work. She
will not enter on the full course all at once--I am for taking things
gently. Women have plenty of strength but it is of a different kind from
men's & must work by gentler & slower means--Above all I do not like what
pushes violently aside domestic duties & pleasures. The special work must
combine itself with these; I am sure it can. Herby is getting on very
nicely--never did student love his work better. He is eager, & by making
the best use of present opportunities & advantages yet looking towards
America full of cheerful hopes & sympathy. Grace is less developed in
intellect but not less in character than the others. I can't describe her
but send you her photograph. There is a freshness & independence of
character about her--yet withal a certain waywardness & reserve. She is a
good, instinctive judge of character--more influenced by it than by
books--yet with a growing taste for them too. She comes to America with a
gay and buoyant curiosity, declining to make up her mind about anything
till she gets there. We want, as far as possible, to transplant our home
bodily--to bring as much as we can of our own furniture because we have
beautiful old things precious in Herby's eyes & that we are all fond of.
And [by] coming straight to Philadelphia & taking a house somewhere on the
outskirts of it or Camden immediately we fancy this might be practicable,
but have not yet launched into the matter. I have just heard from Mr.
Rossetti, and also from Mrs. Conway of her husband having seen you, & if
his report be not too sanguine it is a cheering one & would comfort me
much, dearest Friend. But what he says is so favourable I am afraid to
believe it altogether, knowing that you would make the very best of
yourself & indeed be probably at your best with the pleasure of seeing an
old friend fresh from England. _Nov._ 30. And now, dear Friend, I have had
a very great pleasure indeed, thanks to you--a visit from Mr. Marvin--& I
hope to have another when he returns from Paris. And the account he gives
of you is so cheerful--so vivid--it seems to part asunder a gloomy cloud
that was brooding in my mind. And though I know that for the short hours
that you feel bright & well are many long hours when you are far
otherwise, still I feel sure those short hours are the earnest of perfect
recovery--with a fine patience--boundless patience. And now I can picture
you sitting in your favourite window, having a friendly word with
passers-by--& feel quite sure that you are happy & comfortable in your
surroundings. And a great deal else full of interest Mr. Marvin told me. I
was loth for him to go, but one hour is so small, we have noticed, for a
friend, I am sorry to say.
William Rossetti has a little girl which is a great delight to him. Miss
Hillard of Brooklyn has also paid me a visit & spoken to me of you. She
charmed me much--only I felt a little cross with her for giving Herby such
a dismal account of his chances as an artist in America. However, we both
refused to be discouraged, for after all he can send his pictures to
England to be established &c., having plenty of friends who would see to
it; & we are both firm in the faith that if you can only paint the really
good pictures the rest will take care of itself, somehow or other--& that
can be done as well in America as in England, but of course he must finish
his training here.
With best love from us all, good-bye, my dearest Friend.
ANNE GILCHRIST.
LETTER XXX
ANNE GILCHRIST TO WALT WHITMAN
_1 Torriano Gardens
Camden Rd., London
Dec. 4, 1875._
Though it is but a few days since I posted a letter, my dearest friend, I
must write you again--because I cannot help it, my heart is so full--so
full of love & sorrow & struggle. The day before yesterday I saw Mr.
Conway's printed account of you, & instead of the cheerful report I had
been told of, he speaks of your having given up hope of recovery. Those
words were like a sharp knife plunged into me--they choked me with bitter
tears. _Don't give up that hope_ for the sake of those that so tenderly,
passionately, love you--would give their lives with joy for you. Why, who
knows better than you how much hope & the will have to do with it, & I
know quite well that the belief does not depress you--that you are ready
to accept either lot with calmness, cheerfulness, perfect faith, perhaps
with equal joy. But for all that, it does you harm. Ideas always have a
tendency to accomplish themselves. And what right have the Doctors to
utter gloomy prophecies? The wisest of them know the best how profoundly
in the dark they are as to much that goes on within us, especially in
maladies like yours. O cling to life with a resolute hold, my beloved, to
bless us with your presence unspeakably dear, beneficent presence--me to
taste of it before so very long now--thirsting, pining, loving me. Take
through these poor words of mine some breath of the tender, tender,
ineffable love that fills my heart and soul and body--take of it to
strengthen the very springs of your life: it is capable of that; O its
cherishing warmth and joy, if it could only get to you, only fold you
round close enough, would help, I know. Soon, soon as ever my boy has one
to love & care for him all his own, I will come; I may not before, not if
it should break my heart to stop away from you, for his welfare is my
sacred charge & nearer & dearer than all to me. Verily, my God, strengthen
me, comfort me, stay for me--let that have a little beginning on this dear
earth which is for all eternity, which will live & grow immortally into a
diviner reality than the heart of man has conceived.
I am well satisfied with Norah, dear Friend. She is very affectionate,
loveable, prudent, & clear in all practical matters, well suited to Percy
in tastes, &c.
Your own
ANNIE.
LETTER XXXI
ANNE GILCHRIST TO WALT WHITMAN
_Blaenavon
Routzpool
Mon. England
Jan. 18, '76._
MY DEAREST FRIEND:
Do not think me too wilful or headstrong, but I have taken our tickets &
we shall sail Aug. 30 for Philadelphia. I found if I did not come to a
decision now, we could not well arrange it before next summer. And since
we _have_ come to a decision my mind has been quite at rest. Do not feel
any anxiety or misgivings about us. I have a clear and strong conviction I
am doing what is right & best for us all. After a busy anxious time I am
having a week or two of rest with Percy, who I find fairly well in health
& prospering in his business--indeed, he bids fair to have a large private
practice as an analyst here, & is already making income enough to marry
on, only there is to build the nest--& I think he will have actually to
_build_ it, for there seem no eligible houses--& to furnish--so that the
wedding will not be till next spring or early summer. Nevertheless, with a
definite goal & a definite time & the way between not so very rugged,
though rather dull and lonely, I think he will be pretty cheery. This
little town (of 11,000 inhabitants, all miners, smelters &c.) lies up
among the hills 1100 ft. above the sea--glorious hills here, spreading,
then converging, with wooded flanks, & swift brooklets leaping over stones
in the hollows--the air, too, of course deliciously light & pure. I have
heard through a friend of ours of Bee's fellow student who lives in Camden
(Mr. Suerkrop, I think his name is) that we shall be able to get a very
comfortable home with pleasant garden there for about L55 per an. I think
I can manage that very well--so all I need is to hear of a comfortable
lodging or boarding house (the former preferred) where we can be, avoiding
hotels even while we hunt for the house. I have arranged for my goods to
sail a week later than we do, so as to give us time.
Good-bye for a short while, my dearest Friend.
ANNE GILCHRIST.
Bee has obtained a very satisfactory account of the Women's Medical
College in Philadelphia & introductions to the Head, &c.
LETTER XXXII
ANNE GILCHRIST TO WALT WHITMAN
_1 Torriano Gardens
Camden Rd.
London
Feb. 25, '76._
MY DEAREST FRIEND:
I received the paper & enclosed slip Saturday week, filling me so full of
emotion I could not write, for I am too bitterly impatient of mere words.
Soon, very soon, I come, my darling. I am not lingering, but held yet a
little while by the firm grip of conscience--this is the last spring we
shall be asunder--O I passionately believe there are years in store for
us, years of tranquil, tender happiness--me making your outward life
serene & sweet--you making my inward life so rich--me learning, growing,
loving--we shedding benign influences round us out of our happiness and
fulfilled life--Hold on but a little longer for me, my Walt--I am
straining every nerve to hasten the day--I have enough for us all (with
the simple, unpretending ways we both love best).
Percy is battling slowly--doing as well as we could expect in the time. I
think he will soon build the nest for his mate. I think he never in his
heart believed I really should go to America, and so it comes as a great
blow to him now. You must be very indulgent towards him for my sake, dear
friend.
I am glad we know about those rascally book agents--for many of us are
wanting a goodish number of copies of the new edition & it is important
to understand we may have them straight from you. Rossetti is making a
list of the friends & the number, so that they may all come together.
Perhaps, dearest friend, you may be having a great difficulty in getting
the books out for want of funds--if so, let me help a little--show your
trust in me and my love thus generously.
Your own loving
ANNIE.
LETTER XXXIII
ANNE GILCHRIST TO WALT WHITMAN
_1 Torriano Gardens
March 11, '76._
I have had such joy this morning, my Darling--Poems of yours given in the
_Daily News_--sublime Poems one of them reaching dizzy heights, filling my
soul with strong delight. These prefaced by a few words, timid enough yet
kindly in tone, & better than nothing. The days, the weeks, are slipping
by, my beloved, bearing me swiftly, surely to you--before the beauty of
the year begins to fade we shall come. The young folk too are full of
bright anticipation & eagerness now, I am thankful to say; and Percy
getting on with, I trust, such near & definite prospect of his happiness
that he will be able to pull along cheerily towards it after we are gone,
in spite of loneliness.
I expect, Darling, we must go to some little town or village ten or twenty
miles short of Philadelphia till the tremendous influx of visitors to the
Centennial has ceased, else we shall not be able to find a corner
there.--By the bye, I feel a little sulky at your always taking a fling at
the poor piano. I see I have got to try & show you it too is capable of
waking deep chords in the human soul when it is the vehicle of a great
master's thought & emotions--if only my poor fingers prove equal to the
task! (All my heart shall go into them.) Take from my picture a long, long
look of tender love and joy and faith, deathless, ever young, ever
growing, ever learning, aspiring love, tender, cherishing, domestic love.
Oh, may I be full of sweet comfort for my Beloved's Soul and Body through
life, through and after death.
ANNE GILCHRIST.
LETTER XXXIV
WALT WHITMAN TO ANNE GILCHRIST
_Camden, New Jersey
March, 1876._
DEAREST FRIEND:
To your good & comforting letter of Feb. 25th I at once answer, at least
with a few lines. I have already written this morning a pretty full letter
to Mr. Rossetti (to answer one just rec'd from him) & requested him to
loan it you for perusal. In that I have described my situation fully &
candidly.
My new edition is printed & ready. Upon receipt of your letter I sent you
a set, two Vols. (by Mail, March 15) which you must have rec'd by this
time. I wish you to send me word soon as they arrive.
My health, I am encouraged to think, is perhaps a shade better--certainly
as well as any time of late.
I even already vaguely contemplate plans (they may never be fulfilled, but
yet again they may) of changes, journeys--even of coming to London &
seeing you, visiting my friends, &c. My dearest friend, _I do not approve
your American trans-settlement. I see so many things here you have no idea
of--the social, and almost every other kind of crudeness, meagreness, here
(at least in appearance)._
_Don't do anything towards it nor resolve in it nor make any move at all
in it without further advice from me. If I should get well enough to
voyage, we will talk about it yet in London._
You must not be uneasy about me--dearest friend, I get along much better
than you think for. As to the literary situation here, my rejection by the
coteries and the poverty (which is the least of my troubles), am not sure
but I enjoy them all--besides, as to the latter, I am not in want.
LETTER XXXV
ANNE GILCHRIST TO WALT WHITMAN
_1 Torriano Gardens
Camden Rd., London
March 30, '76._
Yesterday _was_ a day for me, dearest Friend. In the morning your letter,
strong, cheerful, reassuring--dear letter. In the afternoon the books. I
don't know how to settle down my thoughts calmly enough to write, nor how
to lay down the books (with delicate yet serviceable exterior, with
inscription making me so proud, so joyous). But there are a few things I
want to say to you at once in regard to our coming to America. I will not
act without "further advice from you"; but as to not resolving on it, dear
friend, I can't exactly obey that, for it has been my settled, steady
purpose (resting on a deep, strong faith) ever since 1869. Nor do I feel
discouraged or surprised at what you say of American "crudeness," &c. (of
which, in truth, one hears not a little in England). I have not shut my
eyes to the difficulties and trials & responsibilities (for the children's
sake) of the enterprise. I am not urged on by any discontent with old
England or by any adverse circumstances here which I might hope to better
there: my reasons, emotions, the sources of my strength and courage for
the uprooting & transplanting--all are inclosed in those two volumes that
lie before me on the table. That America has brought them forth makes me
want to plant some, at least, of my children on her soil. I understand &
believe in & love her in & through them. They teach me to look beneath
the surface & to get hints of the great future that is shaping itself out
of the crude present, & I believe we shall prove to be of the right sort
to plant down there.--O to talk it all over with you, dearest Friend, here
in London first; I feel as if that would really be--the joy, the comfort,
of that. I cannot finish this to-day but send what I have written without
delay that you may know of the safe arrival of the books. With reverent,
grateful love from us all.
ANNE GILCHRIST.
LETTER XXXVI
ANNE GILCHRIST TO WALT WHITMAN
_1 Torriano Gardens
Camden Rd. London
April 21, 1876._
MY DEAREST FRIEND:
I must write again, out of a full heart. For the reading of this book,
"The Two Rivulets," has filled it very full. Ever the deep inward assent,
rising up strong, exultant my immortal self recognizing, responding to
your immortal self. Ever the sense of dearness, the sweet, subtle perfume,
pervading every page, every line, to my sense--O I cannot put into any
words what I perceive nor what answering emotion pervades me, flows out
towards you--sweetest, deepest, greatest experience of my life--what I was
made for--surely I was made as the soil in which the precious seed of your
thoughts & emotions should be planted--try to fulfil themselves in me,
that I might by & bye blossom into beauty & bring forth rich
fruits--immortal fruits. So no doubt other women feel, and future women
will.