SIMILES, PROVERBS, AND SAYINGS
The North Riding is very prolific in similes and quaint sayings. I
have by me a collection of some hundreds, varying in degree of point
and humour, but all worthy of being preserved. Many of them take us
back to the time of our grandfathers, speaking of things and pointing
to customs of other days. Still, they hang on the lips of the older
people now; but to those who know nothing of their past, their sayings
seem pointless and out of place. Nevertheless, ‘Ez useless ez damp
tunder’ (tinder) would be as forceful in their day as our saying, ‘As
useless as a damp match.’ In the days when many a pulpit was supplied
with an hourglass—like a huge egg-boiler—to let the preacher know
when to wind up his ‘thirdly,’ the old saying applied to those who
were somewhat importunate, ‘They hint ez plaan ez t’ hoorglass,’ and
‘Sha’s leyke t’ hoorglass—sha uses t’ same thing ower an’ up agaan,’ or
‘Sha’s ez careful ez a sandglass,’ which never wastes a grain, were in
their day as pointed as any in use at the present time. A few remarks
to elucidate the meaning of those in the following list which may be
somewhat obscure to any lacking knowledge on certain points, will be
found on page 243.
Those marked thus ([+]) are in daily use throughout the riding. Thus
(*), explanatory remarks will be found at the end.
1. Ez wise ez t’ ullot.
[+] 2. Ez hungry ez a dog.
[+] 3. Ez patient ez a cat.
[+] 4. Ez whisht ez a cat.
[+] 5. Ez still ez a moose.
* 6. Ez friendly ez a bram’l bush.
*[+] 7. Ez walsh ez pump-watter.
8. Ez poor ez pauper soup.
*[+] 9. Ez thick ez inkle-weavers.
[+] 10. Ez reglar ez clockwark.
[+] 11. Ez sartin ez t’ cess
getherer.
12. Ez scarce ez guineas.
13. Ez noisy ez a tinker.
* 14. Ez common ez a deear-snek. Any one handles it.
[+] 15. Ez strang ez a steeple.
[+] 16. Ez hoarse ez a raven.
[+] 17. Ez soft ez pap, i.e. child’s food.
[+] 18. Ez stiff ez buckram.
[+] 19. Ez deead ez a mauky ratten.
20. Ez sour ez a sloe.
[+] 21. Ez deead ez a hammer.
[+] 22. Ez deeaf ez a post.
[+] 23. Ez fit ez a fiddle.
24. Ez graspin’ ez a toll-bar.
25. Ez tall ez a mill chim’ly.
[+] 26. Ez brant ez a hoos end.
[+] 27. Ez red ez a cherry.
[+] 28. Ez tough ez leather.
29. Ez seeaf ez a pig ring.
* 30. Ez soft-hearted ez a rezzil.
* 31. Ez slape ez a greeasy powl.
[+] 32. Ez rotten ez touch-wood.
33. Ez cruel ez a spider.
[+] 34. Ez red ez rud.
[+] 35. Ez lish ez a squirrel. Lish = active.
[+] 36. Ez friendly ez yan’s shadder.
[+] 37. Ez hardy ez ling.
[+] 38. Ez impudent ez a cock sparrer.
[+] 39. Ez boddensome ez debt.
[+] 40. Ez bliew ez a whetstone.
[+] 41. Ez saut ez sea watter.
[+] 42. Ez strang ez an onion.
[+] 43. Ez common ez weeds.
[+] 44. Ez sweet ez t’ floors i’ May.
[+] 45. Ez sweet ez a posey.
[+] 46. Ez sour ez a crab-apple.
*[+] 47. Ez femmur ez a musweb.
[+] 48. Ez cracked ez a brokken pot.
[+] 49. Ez polite ez t’ divil.
[+] 50. Ez pricky ez a pricky-back otch’n.
51. Ez soft ez a geease-down pillow.
[+] 52. Ez common ez brack’ns.
53. Ez cheap ez promises.
[+] 54. Ez cau’d ez Kessamas.
[+] 55. Ez thrang ez bees iv a sugar cask.
[+] 56. Ez busy ez bees on t’ moor.
[+] 57. Ez straight ez a bulrush. Also ‘as tall as,’ &c.
[+] 58. Ez cheeap ez muck.
[+] 59. Ez soft ez muck. Also ‘Ez soft ez a wesh-leather.’
[+] 60. Ez common ez muck.
[+] 61. Ez laam ez a three-legg’d dog.
[+] 62. Ez fast ez a rivet.
[+] 63. Ez lazy ez a stee. A ladder generally leans against a wall.
[+] 64. Ez whisht ez yan’s shadder. As quiet as one’s shadow.
[+] 65. Ez true ez a die.
[+] 66. Ez mild ez a May morn.
[+]* 67. Ez tight ez a damp cleeas-line.
68. Ez slow ez a stutterer. Also ‘Ez slow ez a snahl.’
[+] 69. Ez wick ez a lop-flea.
[+]* 70. Ez fond ez a yat.
[+] 71. Ez kittle ez a moose-trap.
[+] 72. Ez wet ez a dishclout.
[+] 73. Ez tired ez a dog.
[+] 74. Ez savage ez a wasp.
[+] 75. Ez black ez midneet.
[+] 76. Ez black ez sin.
[+] 77. Ez hard ez a steean.
[+] 78. Ez soond ez a bell.
[+] 79. Ez creeak’d ez a dog’s hind leg.
[+] 80. Ez wet ez sump.
[+] 81. Ez wet ez thack.
[+] 82. Ez mucky ez a pig-sty.
[+] 83. Ez waak ez a kitten.
[+] 84. Ez oppen ez a skep.
[+] 85. Ez bold ez brass.
[+] 86. Ez lively ez a cricket.
[+] 87. Ez green ez grass.
[+] 88. Ez soft ez putty.
[+] 89. Ez deead ez a teead skin.
[+]* 90. Ez plaan ez a pike-staff.
[+]* 91. Ez plaan ez a yat-stoup.
[+] 92. Ez full ez an egg.
[+] 93. Ez dusty ez a flour pooak.
[+] 94. Ez white ez flour.
[+] 95. Ez mucky ez a duck pond.
[+] 96. Ez larl ez a flea-bite.
[+] 97. Ez still ez a finger-post.
[+] 98. Ez lonely ez a mile-steean.
[+] 99. Ez slape ez an eel.
[+]* 100. Ez good-natur’d ez a pump.
[+] 101. Ez pure ez spring-watter.
[+] 102. Ez reight ez a trivet.
[+] 103. Ez thin ez a bubble skin.
[+] 104. Ez sticky ez glue.
[+]* 105. Ez meean ez bo’d-lahm (birdlime).
[+] 106. Ez hard ez a nail.
[+] 107. Ez cau’d ez ice.
[+]* 108. Ez deep ez a well.
[+] 109. Ez strang ez a hoss.
[+] 110. Ez wet ez a mill-wheel.
[+] 111. Ez fond ez a goose nick’t i’ t’ heead.
[+] 112. Ez lang ez a parson’s coat.
* 113. Ez sartin ez t’ thorn-bush.
* 114. Ez waffly ez a mill-sail.
* 115. Ez soft ez butter.
116. Ez empty ez a blawn egg.
[+] 117. Ez rank ez nettles.
[+] 118. Ez blinnd ez a bat i’ daayleet.
[+] 119. Ez damp ez a cellar, or ‘t’ graav.’
[+] 120. Ez breet ez a new-made pin, or ‘ez sunleet.’
[+] 121. Ez fond ez a brush.
[+] 122. Ez greedy ez a rake.
[+] 123. Ez dhry ez a sarmon.
124. Ez tho’sty[68] ez a sponge.
[+] 125. Ez solemn ez a coo.
[+] 126. Ez breet ez a bald heead.
[+] 127. Ez bare ez a bald heead.
[+] 128. Ez roond ez a bullet.
[+] 129. Ez straight ez trewth (truth).
[+] 130. Ez mad ez a bull at a yat.
[+] 131. Ez phrood ez a banty cock.
[+] 132. Ez flat ez an iron.
[+] 133. Ez poor ez moorland.
[+] 134. Ez hard ez t’ to’npike.
[+] 135. Ez nak’t ez a graav-steean.
[+]* 136. Ez strang ez a teeagle chaan.
[+]* 137. Ez tough ez a swipple.
[+] 138. Ez strang ez an oak.
[+]* 139. Ez warm ez a sheep-net.
[+]* 140. Ez catching ez t’ scab.
[+]* 141. Ez bonny ez a sheep-cade. In ridicule.
[+] 142. Ez drunk ez a fiddler.
* 143. Ez thrang ez a cobbler’s Monday.
144. Ez meean ez a cuckoo. The cuckoo lays its eggs in other birds’
nests.
[+] 145. Ez welcome ez t’ floors i’ May.
146. Ez larl wanted ez rain i’ hay-tahm.
[+] 147. Ez hungry ez a dog.
148. Ez glib ez a leear’s tongue.
[+] 149. Ez wo’thless ez an au’d shoe.
150. Ez larl value ez an au’d hat.
[+] 151. Ez tough ez pin-wire.
* 152. Ez neyce ez an otter[69].
[+]* 153. Ez greedy ez an otter[69].
154. Ez fat ez a tailor’s goose. (The ‘goose’ is a tailor’s iron.)
[+]* 155. Ez sweet ez a kern.
[+]* 156. Ez greedy ez a fox iv a hen-roost.
[+]* 157. Ez meean ez a cat wiv a moose.
[+] 158. Ez leyke ez tweea peas.
[+] 159. Ez bitter ez gall.
[+] 160. Ez big ez bull beef.
[+] 161. Ez leet ez a midge.
[+] 162. Ez limp ez a dishclout.
[+]* 163. Ez scraped ez a bath-brick.
* 164. Ez badly used ez a peggy-tub boddum.
[+]* 165. Ez gam ez a cockroach.
[+] 166. Ez wet ez new pent (paint).
[+] 167. Ez sick ez a dog.
[+] 168. Ez flat ez a pancake.
* 169. Ez deead ez a red lobster.
[+] 170. Ez au’d ez my grandfather hat.
[+] 171. Ez merry ez a May-pole dance.
[+] 172. Ez white ez a sheet.
[+] 173. Ez catching ez t’ mezzles (measles).
[+] 174. Ez bad tempered ez a nettle.
[+] 175. Awlus t’ saam way leyke a bottle-jack
(ironical, as a bottle-jack turns both ways).
[+] 176. Ez smooth ez a cat’s back.
[+] 177. Ez rosy ez an apple.
[+] 178. Ez rotten ez (a bad) to’nip (turnip).
[+] 179. Ez bent ez a sickle.
[+] 180. Ez red ez raw beef, or ‘ez a brick.’
[+] 181. Ez thrang ez a woman’s tongue.
[+] 182. Ez brazend ez a sunflower.
[+] 183. Ez fresh ez new pent.
[+] 184. Ez breet ez a seeing-glass.
[+] 185. Ez wick ez an eel.
[+] 186. Ez slim ez a barber’s powl.
No. 6. _As friendly as a bramble bush._ The way in which the bramble
catches hold and clings to one is well known to all those who have had
to force a passage where they grow.
7. _As walsh as pump-water_, or containing as little sustenance.
9. _As thick as inkle-weavers._ In the weaving of inkle, a kind of
tape, the weavers had to sit quite close together.
14. _As common as a door-sneck._ This implies that a sneck is liable
to be pressed or used by any one; the simile is one of an opprobrious
nature.
30. _As soft-hearted as a weasel_, implies absolute cruelty, the
weasel lacking the smallest spark of generosity in its nature.
31. _As slape as a greasy pole._ It is common at village feasts to
erect a pole daubed thickly with grease, upon the top of which a ham,
a leg of mutton, or a kettle is fixed; he who can climb to the top,
which is a most difficult task, claims the prize.
47. _As femmur as a musweb._ ‘Femmur’ is slight, light, slender.
‘Musweb,’ a spider’s web.
49. _As polite as the devil._ His Satanic majesty is said to be
willing to shake hands with any one.
67. _As tight as a damp clothes-line._ A clothes-line, when left out
in wet weather, becomes very tightly stretched between its two hooks.
70. _As fond as a gate._ The folly of a gate is admitted on all hands;
does it not without any reason bang itself against the gate-post?
90. _As plain as a pike-staff_; and 91, _As plain as a gate-post_,
denote both plainness of appearance, and a thing not difficult to
understand. A pike-staff was just a bare pole, and a gate-post is
usually lacking of all ornamentation; and both are fairly conspicuous
objects.
100. _As good-natured as a pump._ A pump never grumbles, no matter how
often or by whom it is handled.
105. _As mean as birdlime._ It deceives those who rest upon it.
108. _As deep as a well._ ‘Deep’ is used in the sense of ‘to hide
from,’ ‘to be difficult to get at the bottom of.’ In a modified sense,
‘cunning.’
113. _Ez sartin ez t’ thorn-bush._ It was the custom for the parson to
collect the tithe by placing a branch of thorn in every tenth stook,
he choosing the stooks, and sending his cart along for them.
114. _As waffly as a mill-sail._ ‘Waffly’ here implies ‘unstable’; the
mill-sail is turned about by every wind which blows.
136. _As strong as a teagle chain._ These chains are used to drag very
heavy timber.
137. _As tough as a swipple._ The swipple is the short bar of the
flail, used to thresh corn with—by hand—and was always made of the
toughest wood.
139. _As warm as a sheep-net._ Used derisively; there is no shelter or
warmth in a sheep-net.
140. _As catching as the scab._ The scab is a very infectious disease
which sheep are liable to.
141. _As bonny as a sheep-cade._ The cade is a disgusting looking
sheep-louse; hence the simile is used ironically.
143. _As busy as a cobbler’s Monday._ It is generally supposed that a
cobbler has to rest over Monday to work off his week’s-end debauch;
hence the simile is one of ridicule.
152. _As nice as an otter._ ‘Nice,’ in this case, means dainty,
particular, eating as it does only the very best part of the fish it
kills, leaving the rest untouched on the bank.
153. See 152.
155. _As sweet as a churn._ A churn, of all things, must be sweet and
clean; hence anything which may be truly said to be as sweet as a
churn, must excel in cleanliness.
156. _As greedy as a fox in a hen-roost._ The fox, having gained an
entrance, not only kills the bird he intends to carry away for food,
but any he can lay hold of; then, picking out the best, leaves the
rest.
157. _Ez meean ez a cat wiv a moose._ ‘Mean’ is used in the sense of
cruel. The way a cat plays with its victim before killing it, is the
very essence of cruelty.
163. A bath-brick must be scraped each time it is used. Hence a person
who has slipped down an incline, and so become bruised, will use the
simile.
164. _As badly used as a peggy-tub bottom._ Surely whilst in use
nothing receives more thumps than the bottom of the peggy-tub.
165. _As game as a cockroach._ No insect perhaps is so pugnacious as
the common roach or black clock. The encounters which take place on
our hearths after we have retired to rest are many and deadly.
169. _As dead as a red lobster._ As the lobster must be boiled for
some time before assuming the red colour, we may with some certainty
conclude the crustacean has ceased to exist ere it dons its red jacket.
If many of the sayings which fall from the lips of our country folk
were only dressed in classic language, they would rank amongst the
wisest saws ever uttered.
Take a few illustrations picked from a considerable number which I have
jotted down as they have been uttered—I may say the circumstances which
called each forth were as varied as they well could be. Some, I have
little doubt, were impromptu, but in the main they belong to another
age. It will perhaps add interest if the illustrations are given as
uttered, followed by a literal translation, adding explanatory remarks
when needful.
_A raffle tung an’ a race-hoss gan t’ faster t’ leeter wight tha hug._
A foolish tongue and a race-horse go the faster the lighter weight
they carry; there will be more foolish talk, the lighter the weight of
brains carried.
_Them ’at grumm’ls sae mich aboot what tha ’evn’t gitten, are maistly
oot o’ love wi’ t’ things ’at tha ’ev._ Those who grumble so much
about what they do not possess, are mostly out of love with the things
they have.
_Them ’at nivver diz nowt thersens, awlus ’magines ’at ther’s nowt i’
t’ wo’lld ’at’s hard ti deea._ Those who never do nothing (anything)
themselves, always imagine that there is nothing in the world which is
hard to do.
_Him ’at’s gitten his heead screwed on t’ reet road i’ larl matters,
weean’t be leykly ti shut yah e’e when he’s owt gert on hand._ He who
has his head screwed on the right way in little matters, will not be
likely to close one eye when he has anything great on the way.
_Impatience is t’ hoss fau’k saddle and gallop on ti meet their
troubles._ Impatience is the horse people saddle and gallop on to meet
their troubles.
_It’s easier wark feighting sin ’an nursin’ ‘t._ It is easier work
fighting sin than nursing it.
_Religion is offens mair laamed byv those whau attend tul ’t, ’an them
’at feight shy on ’t._ Religion is often more injured by those who
profess, than by those who are careless. There is another: ‘No sinners
are so intolerant as those just turned saints.’
_Yan awlus ’ez ti paay a seet mair foor repentance ’an yan c’u’d ‘
bowt a vast o’ common sense wi’._ One always has to pay a great deal
more for repentance than one could have bought a great amount of
common sense with.
_If wa wad lig i’ peace an’ rest,
Wa mun see an’ hear an’ saay what’s t’ best._
If we would lie in peace and rest,
We must see and hear and say what’s the best.
_‘T’ll save ya neea larl trouble,
If when talking ya tak care
Ov whaum ya speeak, ti whaum ya speeak,
An’ hoo, an’ when, an’ wheer._
It will save you no small trouble,
If when talking you take care
Of whom you speak, to whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
_Closed lips an’ oppen een save yan fra monny a fratch._ Closed lips
and open eyes save one from many a quarrel (trouble).
_Advising yan ’at’s iv a passion’s dafter ’an scrattin’ a tup head._
Advising one that is in a passion is sillier than scratching a tup’s
head, i.e. giving advice to one who is in a passion, is equal in
folly to that of scratching a tup on the head, as there is no surer
way of inducing it to attack you than by following such a course.
_Him ’at’s meead up his mahnd ’at he caan’t deea a thing, maistly maks
up his mahnd afoorhand ’at he weean’t try._ He that has made up his
mind that he cannot accomplish an undertaking, mostly makes up his
mind beforehand that he will not try.
_Maist fau’k can see t’ wrang they’ve deean, bud nut t’ wrang they’re
deeaing._ Most people can see the wrong they have done, but not the
wrong they are doing.
_Varra off’ns when a chap sez ’at he’s deeaing nowt, he’s deeaing
summat he s’u’dn’t; an’ when he aims ti mak ya think ’at he’s deeaing
summat ’at he s’u’d, he’s off’ns deeaing nowt._ Very often when a
person says that he is doing nothing, he is doing something that
he should not; and when he tries to make you believe he is doing
something that he should, he is often idling his time away.
_Daftness nivver builds owght wo’th leaving up._ Daftness never builds
anything worth leaving up. ‘Leaving up’ means ‘allowing it to stand.’
The saying might be put this way: folly never accomplishes anything
worthy of being handed on to posterity.
_Fame is a lump ov nowt putten insahd ov a bubble, which bo’sts,
an’ it’s all owered wiv it._ Fame is a lump of nothing put inside a
bubble, which bursts, and then it is all over with it. To ‘be overed
with a thing,’ is for it to be absolutely annihilated.
_Good luck gi’es ti sum mair ’an what tha owt ti ’ev, bud nivver mair
’an what tha want._ Good luck gives to some more than what they ought
to have, but never more than what they want.
_Cussing an’ low-lived talk ther’s nivver neea call for; ther’s nowt
can hap it up, an’ ther’s nowt gitten byv it._ Cursing and low-lived
talk there is never no need for; there is nothing can cover it up, and
there is nothing got by it.
_Him ’at diz ez he owt ti deea when young, ’ll be yabble ti deea ez
he wants ti deea when his working days is owered._ He who does as he
ought to do when young, will be able to do as he wants to do when his
working days are over, i.e. he who diligently works when young, will
be enabled to take his ease when old age overtakes him.
_Them ’at weds wheer they deean’t love, maistly love wheer they
deean’t wed._
_It’s a poor hedge ’at hezn’t a bit of shelter._
_Be friendly wi’ all, bud familiar wi’ few._
_It saves neea end o’ loss if ya sleck t’ fire wi’ yah bucket o’
watter. Luke t’ weeds afoor tha seed; an’ let t’ tap-reeat o’ folly
gan ez deep ez it leykes._ It saves no end of harm if you put out
the fire with one bucket of water. Pull up the weeds before they
seed; and allow the tap-root of folly to go as deep as it may. A fire
cannot have done much damage if it can be quenched with one bucket of
water. ‘Luke’ is ‘to pull up.’ Many methods are adopted to prevent the
tap-root from growing deep into the ground; should such precautions
not be taken, the root descends to where the ground is cold, and no
fruit is borne. Hence the reason for desiring the ‘tap-root of folly’
to be allowed to grow deep into the ground.
_Good behav’o’r nivver needs a drain-pipe_; also, _good behav’o’r
nivver needs pruning_.
_He’s nobbut hauf rocked ’at believes ivverything, bud he’s cleean
oot ov his heead ’at believes nowt._ He is only a silly fellow who
gives credence to everything he hears, but he is a hopeless idiot who
believes in nothing.
_Laziness ruins mair lasses ’an love, fancying thersens mair an’
laziness; an’ swallering ivverything ’at a chap sez tiv ’em, mair ’an
baith putten tigither._ Laziness ruins more girls than love, vanity
more than laziness; and believing all that men flatteringly say, more
than both put together.
_Him ’at ’ez larl an’ could mannish wi’ less, is better off ’an him
’at ’ez mich an’ caan’t mak it fet._ He that has little and could
manage with less, is better off—richer—than he who has much and cannot
make it serve.
_Nivver judge a blade byv t’ heft._ Never judge a blade or knife by
the handle; or, never judge a person’s character by his clothes.
_Ya’ll ’a’e t’ crack t’ shells afoor ya can coont t’ kon’ls._ You will
have to crack the shells before you can count the kernels; or, you
must do your work before you can count your wages.
_Sho’t ez yan’s tahm is, it’s lang eneeaf foor sum ti ruin ther
characters, ther constitutions, an’ gan thruff all ’at tha ’ed at
startin’._ Short as one’s life is, it is long enough for some to ruin
their characters, their constitutions, and ’gan thruff,’ i.e. spend,
all they had to commence with.
_T’ furrows o’ repentance are ploughed i’ youth, and sow’d wi’ t’
seeds o’ pleasure, bud t’ harvest ’ez ti be reaped wiv a blunt sickle
when yan’s back is bent an’ yan’s gitten past wark._ The furrows
of repentance are ploughed during youth, and sowed with the seeds
of pleasure, but the harvest has to be cut with a blunt sickle and
gathered in when old age has made it impossible to repair the errors
of youth.
_Fooak ’at feight ower t’ reet road ti heaven, off’ns finnd oot ’at
t’ far end ’at they’ve deean t’ maist o’ ther jo’ney i’ t’ hedge
boddums._ People who quarrel over creeds and forms discover, when life
is drawing to a close, that often they have foolishly left the narrow
but sure path, to stumble and struggle amongst the thorns and briars
which overhang the ditch by the wayside.
_T’ loodist shooters i’ t’ fair off’ns ’ez bud larl o’ ther stalls._
The loudest criers in the fair often have the least on their stalls;
i.e. those who make the most noise in the world generally display the
least common sense.
_Muschief is a fruit ’at nobbut needs a sho’t summer ti repen ’t_,
i.e. Mischief speedily comes to a head.
_Ti stop lennin’, start borrerin’_, i.e. To prevent borrowers coming
to you, try to borrow from them.
_It’s better ’at fau’k s’u’d laugh at ya foor knowing larl aboot owt,
’an ya s’u’d loss yer brass byv pretending ti knaw owermich._ It is
better that people should laugh at your knowing little about anything,
than you should lose your money by pretending to know too much.
_When hooap dees, fear’s born._ When hope dies, fear is born.
_Yan’s nivver afeeard o’ stepping oot o’ t’ waay ti deea a good to’n,
if yan’s on t’ reet waay foor deeaing on ’t._ One is never afraid of
stepping out of the way to do a kindness, if one is in the right way
for doing it; i.e. we are never unwilling to step out of our way to do
a kindness, if we are sufficiently Christian to do what is right.
Since quite a boy I have jotted down any apt saying which I have heard.
Many such, however, are so common, that they daily pass the lips of our
country folk. These characteristic Yorkshire sayings, as already shown,
are worthy of greater consideration than they have hitherto obtained.
Why, I once heard an old Basedale man give a temperance lecture in a
few words; he put the whole thing into a nutshell. What he said was
terse, brief, full of sound common sense, and decidedly smart. _We took
it all away with us._ And just because it was what it was, we never
forgot it—we never wished to forget it—whilst often we have no desire
to remember the one-sided, long-winded, intemperate drivel we have to
listen to nowadays. Said he, ‘Drink, if nobbut weel followed up, awlus
diz yan o’ tweea things. If ya ’a’e gitten plenty o’ brass, it’ll kill
ya; if nut, it’ll beggar ya’; i.e. drink, if only well followed up,
always does one of two things. If you have plenty of money, it will
kill you; if not, it will beggar you.
‘Some fau’k knaw better ’an ti swing on ther awn yat,’ was said of
one, who was an inveterate borrower of certain articles, which it was
supposed he well could afford to buy for himself.
‘Sha nivver will larn ’at yan s’u’dn’t hug tweea eggs i’ yah han’,’ was
said of one who generally spoilt what she was doing by having too many
irons in the fire at one time.
‘Neeabody tries if a trap’s kittle wi’ ther finger.’ The application is
obvious.
To one who was in the habit of returning at a late hour from the weekly
market, and sometimes not quite sober, it was remarked, ‘Late yam fra
t’ market off’n spoils a good bargain,’ implying that that which had
been gained by the day’s bargaining had been foolishly spent in the
public-house.
‘He’s yan o’ them ’at nivver hauf diz owt, bud then Ah’ve notished ’at
them ’at leeavs t’ hoos deear oppen, maistly foorgit ti steck t’ yat.’
‘Mair kindness, less lip,
Mair corn, less whip,’
might well be hung up in every stable to-day, for certainly if our poor
dumb servants were treated a little more kindly, they would need less
shouting and bawling at, and when properly fed, the whip becomes but an
ornament.
‘Onny shufflin’ taal diz ti shak off a needy relation, bud it dizn’t
mak ’t reet foor ’em ti squander brass ti greease thersens wi’,’ said
an old body who had asked assistance from a well-to-do sister, but who
had been sent empty away with a most frivolous excuse. It seems her
sister had shortly afterwards given a handsome donation at the laying
of a foundation-stone upon which her name had been carved. ‘Shufflin’
taal’ is equal to ’half a lie,’ or, to put it in a milder form, ‘a poor
excuse.’ ‘To shak off’ is ’to refuse’; and ’to grease yersen’ is ’to
please oneself,’ ‘to satisfy one’s vanity.’ The saying might be put
this way: ‘By the rich, any poor excuse is considered good enough to
refuse help to a needy relation, but it is never just, whilst such are
in want, to spend money in tickling their own vanity.’
‘T’ week ’ez tweea Mundaays foor t’ hoss ’at ligs ower Sundaay,’
implies that a Sunday’s rest gives greater energy.
‘Nivver tackle what ya caan’t deea, bud allus deea what ya tackle,’
is certainly an aphorism we should all do well to mark; the caution
and advice which it contains, if acted upon, spells success in golden
characters. ‘Do not undertake anything beyond either your capabilities
or resources, but whatever you once set your hand to, carry it through.’
At a funeral feast where one individual was rather too ready in handing
the cake and wine round, one old body was overheard to say, ‘He mebbe
wadn’t ‘ been seea riddy wi’ t’ plate an’ bottle ’ed he been iv his
awn hoos, bud it maistly happens ’at them ’at’s seea free wiv uther
fau’k’s hay, are varra skinny wi’ ther awn corn.’ That many people are
exceedingly generous in dispensing the charity of others, and very
careful in parting with anything of their own, is a fact too patent to
dispute.
‘T’ chap ’at fishes for his breccus off’ns ’ez ti wait foor his
dinner,’ and ‘A blinnd chap owt nivver ti lake wiv a crab whahl it’s
boil’d,’ point their own moral.
At Great Ayton two neighbours were discussing one who had not long been
a resident. ‘Sha’s gitten a pianer noo, an’ it’s nobbut t’ other daay
’at sha bowt hersen new shades’ (blinds) ‘foor ivvery windther i’ t’
hoos. Wheer sha gits t’ brass ti pay foor all t’ new-fengl’d things ’at
cum up, Ah deean’t knaw, bud sha queerly cam, an’ sha’ll queerly gan;
an’ Ah’ll tell tha what, a hoos gitten tigither by habs an’ nabs, an’
yan’s sticks paid foor afoor they’re fetched in, is comfortabler ’an
yan filled wi’ flee-by-neet stuff;’ i.e. furniture, &c., got together
at odd times and in odd ways, and paid for at the time, affords more
comfort than possessing a houseful of things which possibly will have
to be removed during the night to escape the landlord.
‘T’ yard’s weel swept wiv a lent bizzum;’ or, one does not fail to get
the most out of any article which another has lent us. The following
doggerel gives a phase of human nature common to all mankind:—
Yan nivver thinks ’at t’ egg’s new laid
Yan’s nahbor kindly lent yan,
An’ t’ cream fra borr’ed milk is thin—
Deean’t len’, if you’d content yan.
‘Sha allus drives ivverything whahl t’ last bat. Ya caan’t insense it
intiv her ’at them ’at git ther traps tigither iv a hugger-mugger,
allus foorgits t’ main thing ’at tha’ll want.’ This is a truism the
world over. If we leave our packing to the last moment, we shall
probably discover the very thing we mostly need has been left behind.
Equally apt was the saying of one discussing a doubtful proceeding of
some comrade: ‘He’ll deea ’t whahl they catch him. It’s a mistak at
onny tahm ti sneeaf t’ cann’l ti cleease ti t’ wick.’ It is a mistake
to snuff the candle too close to the wick, for in so doing you may
extinguish the light; i.e. it is unwise to tempt Providence.
‘They’ve baith pulled yah road; he’s raxed an’ wrought, an’ sha’s
scratted an’ tew’d; what yan thowt t’ other did, whahl i’ t’ end tha
want foor nowt. Bud a breet shool an’ a well-worn thimm’l allus mak a
menseful hoos,’ ‘Raxed’ and ‘wrought’ are synonymous of working hard,
and to ‘scrat and tew’ is to be careful and ever toiling. ‘What one
thought the other did’ only strengthens the opening statement that
‘they both pulled one way.’ To ‘want for nothing’ is to possess all one
needs; and ‘a bright shovel and a well-worn thimble’ clearly show that
neither are allowed a lengthy rest.
‘It taks mair ti keep a pack o’ hounds ’an t’ damage t’ fox diz,’ can
be, and is, applied so variously that explanation is needless.
Deean’t be ti pawky.
Think on, thoo mun knaw
If thoo starts wiv a chirp
Thoo mud end wiv a craw,
Bud if thoo’s seea feealish
Ez ti be pawky an’ pert,
Maist leyke thoo’ll start wiv a craw
An’ end up wiv a chirp.
The Yorkshireman is not one who believes in luck. Hard work, toil from
early morn till night, is the daily lot of thousands. ‘Luck!’ said one;
‘ther is neea sike thing ez luck; what cums ti yan, ’ez ti be fetched.
Good luck’s t’ best gitten at wiv a wet sark,’ i.e. with a shirt wet
with perspiration through working hard. But hard work, if not applied
in a proper and sensible manner, will result in failure: brute force
is not everything. ‘T’ thickness gans for nowt if t’ roape isn’t lang
eneeaf;’ i.e. the strength of a rope goes for nothing if it is too
short.
Can better advice be given than is couched in the old saying of
‘Deean’t saay nowt on t’ deearstan at’ll rax ya ti preeave ower t’
thresho’d’? It is only one stride from the doorstep over the threshold,
therefore it will be wise at all times to say nothing which will cause
you infinite trouble to prove immediately afterwards.
The old saying, ‘Buckles borrow, brussen tag-holes beg,’ clearly points
that our fore-elders had a pretty correct notion of human nature in
their day. The short saying embodies much. If the status of those who
needed assistance was such that they could afford to wear nice buckles
on their shoes, such obtained help under the head of borrowing; but of
those whose lace-holes were burst, and buckles altogether wanting, it
was said they begged. Appearance goes a long way towards giving a name
to our actions.
Again, ‘Pull t’ bobbin wi’ joy, bud knock wi’ sorrow,’ and ‘Ill news is
shooted ti t’ reeaks, bud good news is whispered ti snahls[70],’ both
tell the same story. In olden days a bobbin, attached by a string to
the sneck within, hung outside every door. The saying urges us to haste
with all speed to pull the bobbin and enter if we have good news, but
with sorrow we are to be careful as to how we make it known. Again, an
evil report, it would seem, has ever been urged on its hurtful career.
The rook is a bird which is not only noisy, but flies far afield,
whilst, as every one knows, the snail is silent and slow; but the
truth of the old saying that ‘Evil news is shouted to the rooks, whilst
good tidings is only whispered to the snails,’ is, we fear, as true
to-day as when first uttered ages ago.
I will close this chapter with a few truisms, which fail to be hidden
in the doggerel:—
IF.
‘Twar a varra neyce wo’lld ’at wa live in,
An’ bonny it still mud be maad,
If prahd an’ au’d Harry wad give in,
An’ pafty fooak putten i’ t’ shaad.
If t’ pawky war nobbut all maastthered,
An’ swaimish fooak nut ower green,
Sum neeams wadn’t then be seea plaastered,
An’ things wad be mair what tha seeam.
If scann’l war shun’d leyke a hag-wo’m,
An’ fooak awlus thowt, ‘foor tha spak,
Wa s’u’d aim ti deea all a good to’n,
Whahl ill-will wad tak off iv a crack.
If ti illify, spite an’ sike uthers
C’u’d be deng’d cleean off t’ feeace o’ t’ yeth,
Wa sud live mair leyke sisters an’ bruthers,
An’ ‘ev mair ov innocent mirth.