“Father, I cannot help what I think and feel, or what I suffer.”
Without losing anything of his mildness, but with an authority that
subdued my rebellious spirit, he said:
“I know, my child, what is in your power, and what does not depend on your
will; but in the name of Him who now speaks to you through me, I ask you
to repeat with a sincere heart these words, which comprise all I have just
said:
“O my God! root out of my heart everything that separates it from Thee.”
These words, the accent with which they were uttered, and the prayer that
I have no doubt rose from the depths of the holy soul from which they
sprang, inspired me with the wish and strength to obey.
O my God! enable me now to make others understand what then took place in
my soul.
I leaned my head against my clasped hands, and after a moment’s silence,
during which I summoned all the strength of my will, I slowly repeated
with the utmost sincerity the words he dictated:
“O my God! root out of my heart everything that separates it from
Thee.”...
‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐
O merciful, divine Goodness! how shall I speak of Thee? how tell of thy
marvellous grace and love? While uttering these words, before they were
even ended, I felt touched by some strange, mysterious, supernatural
influence. My heart and soul seemed filled with light. My whole being was
transformed. I was inundated with a joy that could not be expressed in
human language, and the source of this joy, the sensible cause, which I
still feel, and shall never cease to feel, was the conviction made audible
in some miraculous manner that _God loves me_!
God loves me. Yes, I heard these words. I comprehended their entire
signification. _The Veil was forever withdrawn._ The mysterious enigma of
my heart was solved as clearly and obviously as my eyes beheld the light
of day.
I loved, not as we try, but in vain, to love our fellow‐creatures; I loved
with _all_ the strength of my heart! and with so much strength that I
could not have loved more without dying!...
‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐
All human language is inadequate, I know, to speak of supernatural grace.
I can only stammer as I attempt it, and will no longer dwell on the
ineffable moment which wrought an entire transformation in my life. I no
longer recollect what words I then uttered, or what was said to me: I only
remember the holy absolution I received with bowed head, and these words,
afterwards uttered in a tone of emotion: “Be calm, my child, and go in
peace.”
I had knelt down overwhelmed with sadness. I rose up so happy that I
suffered from the great intensity of a joy my heart was too weak to
endure!