NERVOUSNESS--A LACK OF CONTROL
How often do we meet women who complain of being nervous. What they
really mean is that they have not control of their nerves but let them
run away. A woman may be of a nervous temperament and yet have such good
control of her nerves that she never complains of being nervous. This
lack of nerve control manifests itself in various ways. Sometimes it
only is a tendency to cry at trivial things or an inclination to
despondency--to have "the blues," or to worry over real or fancied
slights. Many women waste so much time thinking over things that are
past and gone. A visit with a friend loses its joy in the afterthought,
for this victim of the nerves lives over again every moment of the
visit. She recalls everything that has been said and wonders if a
different meaning were meant. Things that were said as a joke and
originally taken that way now are brought up for criticism and pondered
over until the woman convinces herself of the presence of a hidden
meaning. She is not satisfied until she has bent and shapen the original
thoughtless sentence into an ugly sting.
These nervous women are the ones who continually are tormented with the
demon of jealousy. If one of them should suddenly meet her husband on
the street walking with another woman, what a curtain lecture he would
receive that evening; or if not that, he finds his wife wearing the air
of one who considers herself much abused. The real facts of the case may
be that her husband met the other woman quite accidentally and, as they
were going in the same direction, he could not avoid walking with her
without being positively rude. In this age men must, of necessity, have
business transactions with women. It is a common occurrence for two men
to lunch together in order to have a chance to talk over some important
business without fear of interruption. There is no reason why a man and
woman might not do the same, and yet how impossible it would be to
convince the jealous woman that this was the case. To be jealous is to
acknowledge the superior charms of the other woman. "If I cannot hold
you against all women, then I do not want you." If you think some other
woman is attracting your husband, wake up and beat her at her own game.
Do not sit idly in the corner and complain. You only are making yourself
miserable and not trying to right the wrong.
A woman who is nervous usually does not realize what is the cause of her
condition. When excitable and irritable and suffering from a nervous
headache, she takes various remedies to deaden the symptoms, instead of
looking the matter squarely in the face and going after the cause.
Many women need a hobby to take up their spare time and to occupy their
minds. If their minds are occupied and their bodies kept in good
condition by proper care, they soon will gain control of their nerves.
If you find yourself getting nervous, make up your mind to overcome it
by filling your life so full of work and play that you will have no time
to give way to the nerves. When you feel an attack coming on, get busy
and "work it off."
There is a class of women who possess comfortable homes, with a maid to
do the work, whose home duties are not confining and who find
themselves with a great deal of extra time on their hands. To these
women the days are long and they endeavor to pass away the time by doing
nerve racking fancy work or by "fussing" around the house. They are not
happy and contented, chiefly because their minds are being
neglected--are growing up to weeds like a neglected garden. For such a
woman club work is a boon. She should take up some especial kind of
work, and devote several hours a day to the study of it. At first this
will be hard, for a mind that has fallen into lazy ways is not easily
aroused to continual effort, the deeply rooted weeds are not easily
destroyed.
Many half contented women realize this need of mental food but hesitate.
As one woman said, "Why, my husband would leave me if I started to
work!" Some men take a peculiar attitude towards women. They would like
to treat them as a woman treats her pet dog. The dog is provided with a
comfortable home, plenty of food, someone to bathe it and carry it
around. The dog is contented with this. It loves to sleep and eat the
livelong day; it comes when its mistress calls, and goes when she is
tired of it. Unfortunately, perhaps, all women cannot be contented with
such a life. The woman was given a brain which refuses to be dormant. If
it is not required to be used in a useful way, it occupies itself with
bad thoughts--it worries and becomes fault finding or gossiping.
No woman should allow her mind to grow up to such weeds. If the
circumstances of her position, her education or her environment seem to
make it unwise that she take up any work that would bring a monetary
reward, she easily can find some charitable work that needs all the
energies she can devote to it. If such a woman would take up some
special branch of philanthropic work she would be amply rewarded, not
only by the consciousness of the good she had done, but by the
improvement in her own health and happiness.
There is another phase to this lack of nerve control shown in a nervous
tension, an inability to relax and enjoy life. Some people go through
the day on such a nervous tension that they are unable to take
cognizance of their surroundings. Eventually this tension will manifest
itself in some disorder, as headache, nervous indigestion or complete
nervous prostration. In the latter case the nerves have been so abused,
so strained that at last they are worn out. A rest is imperative!
A woman who, if she has a few spare moments, can lie down and relax
absolutely, perhaps even drop to sleep, has a better chance to stand the
stress and strain of business or of housekeeping than the one who finds
it impossible to do so. Try making it a point to lie down for two or
three minutes several times a day; lie flat on your back and relax every
muscle; put every worry or ugly thought out of your mind by thinking
some pleasant but soothing sentence as, "I am glad I can rest. I will be
happy when I arise." You will be surprised at the effect these few
moments a day will produce upon your health and happiness.
Plenty of sleep is imperative for these women and yet so many of them
neglect this great restorer of the nervous system. Frequently these
women complain of an inability to go to sleep easily, and spend long
hours of the night lying awake and entertaining worry thoughts. This
symptom of disordered nerves should not be neglected. A warm bath
before retiring, followed by a gentle massage, especially along the
spine, will, by relaxing the nerves and muscles, produce very good
results. A hot foot-bath, by drawing the blood away from the brain,
often will be beneficial. A glass of hot milk or cocoa taken just before
retiring may have the same effect. If the sleeplessness is a result of
indigestion a plain diet will relieve. Sleeping upon a hard bed without
a pillow sometimes produces the desired effect. Always have plenty of
fresh air in the room. Keep the mind free from the cares of the day. If
they will intrude crowd them out by repeating some soothing sentence as:
"There is no reason why I should not sleep, therefore, I shall sleep. My
body is relaxed, my mind is at peace, sleep is coming, I am getting
sleepy, I am about to sleep." Never take any sleeping powders except
upon the advice of a physician, for the majority of these sleeping
powders contain some harmful drug, as morphine, codeine, phenacetin or
acetanilid. The latter especially is very depressing to the heart and
serves to weaken the nervous system. In fact many deaths may be laid at
the door of these drugs. Treatments to tone up the nervous system and
to improve the circulation often are indicated in these cases of
"nerves." Control your nerves, do not let them control you!