THE NEED OF EARLY INSTRUCTION OF BOYS
I have made so emphatic the necessity of early and proper instruction of
girls and I have shown you that so much of the disease and unhappiness
in the world is due to this lack of instruction that I do not believe
any of your daughters ever will say, "Why was I not told these things
before it was too late?" But you women will have sons as well as
daughters and you are just as responsible for their future happiness as
you are for that of your daughters. Besides the future happiness of
another woman's daughter depends in a large measure upon the health of
your son. The boys need instruction as much if not more than do the
girls; at any rate they need it earlier than the girls do, because boys
talk more freely than girls and boys acquire their first impressions of
these subjects much earlier than girls.
No boy ever willfully contracted a disease that would produce so much
future misery as that resulting from one of the venereal diseases. You
remember I made the remark that the large percentage of men contracted
these diseases before their twentieth year, before they had any adequate
knowledge of the possible consequences. If boys were warned there would
be no more of this innocent acquisition of disease. Many a man has had
cause to regret all his life a few moments of thoughtless dissipation.
Even though a boy has acquired one of these diseases that is no reason
why he should suffer from it the remainder of his life any more than
that he constantly should suffer from an attack of smallpox. One
difference at the present time is that the smallpox patient receives the
most scientific treatment procurable, but the victim of one of these
plagues is neglected. Boys are told these diseases are no worse than a
cold and so do not realize the necessity for prompt and adequate
treatment. The ordinary boy treats himself, following the advice of some
of his friends or some incompetent person. He has a feeling of shame
which prevents him from going to the family physician, who would give
him honest advice. If he goes to any physician he usually goes to some
advertising physician who claims to be a "men specialist." The main
speciality of these men is obtaining money from their ignorant dupes.
Their advertisements would make nearly every man in the world think he
were suffering from some grave disease. The young boy, at an
impressionable age, is a ready victim to their lures. He is treated for
a real or an imaginary disease until his money is all gone, then he is
discharged.
Let me read you a letter I received from a young boy which will
illustrate my meaning: "I read your article 'A Father's Duty to His
Son,' in the ---- and take the liberty of writing to you. My father died
when I was but nine years old, so I was left to my own resources, the
result being I am now a nervous wreck at the age of nineteen. I have
doctored for nervous debility with four doctors for over a year and a
half. The result, they got every cent out of me but did not help me a
particle. If my mother ever found it out, it would worry her to death,
as she has hopes in me, fool that I was. My condition, I am always
nervous when in company, expecting somebody to accuse me any minute. My
eyes always are blurred and my hands shake as if I were an old man. I
have night losses, which bother me more than anything and if they
stopped I know I could fight my way back to health. If you could
possibly give me some recipe or advice it would be greatly appreciated.
Nobody but one in this condition can imagine the strain on the mind and
body. Although I feel well when alone, though awfully weak, I am a
nervous wreck when in the presence of others. I have written to you
because your article seems to tell facts which I know to be true."
Now, if you will pardon me I will quote a portion of my reply:
"Evidently you have been the victim of unscrupulous doctors.
Unfortunately there are a number. They usually advertise themselves as
specialists in diseases of men. A reliable physician does not advertise.
If you had gone to a trustworthy family physician in the first place you
would have been saved much worry, and incidentally considerable money.
"The chief advice you need is to _stop worrying_. The night losses you
mention are a natural condition. They occur with nearly every normal man
who is living a continent life. Even if they occur two or three times a
week they do not indicate any diseased condition. The more you worry
and think about such things the more often they will occur. I do not
know what your occupation is, but if it is indoor work you must plan to
take a great deal of outdoor exercise every day. If you could go out in
the country for awhile and do hard outdoor work it would be the best
thing for you. Eat only plain, easily digested food, but eat plenty. Do
not use any condiments nor stimulants. Sleep on a hard bed with plenty
of fresh air in the room. Bathe the external genitals with cold water
night and morning.... The fact that you have abused yourself in the past
need not prevent you from being a perfectly healthy person now if you
are not continuing the practice."
Every boy desires to be a man but does not quite understand the meaning
of the word. He dislikes to be called a "greeny" or anything that
suggests that he is young and inexperienced. Often he pretends to know
things he does not. Nearly every boy, at an early age, is thrown in
contact with low-minded persons who think it amusing to persuade the
youth to prove he knows indecent things. He thinks it a test of manhood
to be acquainted with various vices and so in order to prove his
knowledge is led into various indiscretions, which result in the
contraction of vile habits or of loathsome diseases.
If a boy at an early age were given the true idea of the meaning of
being a man or of manhood we would have fewer physical wrecks and
incompetent individuals.