HOW EWAN FOUND DAN
Ewan went along like a man whose reason is clogged. All his faculties
were deadened. He could not see properly. He could not hear. He could
not think. Try as he might to keep his faculties from wandering, his
mind would not be kept steady.
Time after time he went back to the passage of Scripture which he had
fixed on that morning for his next lesson and sermon. It was the story
how Esau, when robbed of his birthright blessing, said in his heart, "I
will slay my brother Jacob"; how Jacob fled from his brother's anger to
the home of Laban; how after many years Esau married the daughter of
Ishmael, and Jacob came to the country of Edom; how, in exceeding fear
of Esau's wrath, Jacob sent before him a present for Esau out of the
plenty with which God had blessed him; and how Jacob lifted up his eyes
and beheld Esau, and ran to meet him and embraced him, and fell on his
neck and kissed him, and they wept.
Ewan would see the goats and the ewes, and the rams, and the milch
camels toiling along through the hot lush grass by the waters of the
Jordan; then all at once these would vanish and he would find himself
standing alone in the drear winter day, with the rumble of the bleak sea
far in front, and close overhead the dark snow-clouds sweeping on and
on.
His strong emotion paralyzed all his faculties. He could neither fix his
mind on the mission on which he had set out, nor banish the thought of
it. Mission! What was it? At one moment he thought he knew, and then his
eyes seemed to jump from their sockets. "Am I going mad?" he asked
himself, and his head turned giddy.
He went on; a blind force impelled him. At length he reached the old
Ballamona. His own especial room in the house was the little
book-encased closet, looking over the Curraghs toward the sea--the same
that had been the study of Gilcrist Mylrea, before he went away and came
back as bishop.
But Ewan turned mechanically toward another part of the house and
entered a room hung about with muskets and the horns of deer, fishing
rods and baskets, a watchman's truncheon lettered in red, loose pieces
of net, and even some horse harness. A dog, a brown collie, lay asleep
before the fire, and over the rannel-tree shelf a huge watch was
ticking.
But Dan was not in his room. Then Ewan remembered in a dazed way--how
had the memory escaped him so long?--that when Dan passed him on the
road he was not going homeward, but toward the village. No doubt the man
was on his way to the low pot-house he frequented.
Ewan left Ballamona and went on toward the "Three Legs of Man." He
crossed the fields which the Bishop had cut off from the episcopal
demesne for his son's occupation as a farm. As he walked, his wandering,
aimless thoughts were arrested by the neglected state of the land and
the stock upon it. In one croft the withered stalks of the last crop of
cabbage lay rotten on the ground; in a meadow a sheep was lying dead of
the rot, and six or seven of the rest of the flock were dragging their
falling wool along the thin grass.
Ewan came out of the fields to the turnpike by the footpath that goes by
Bishop's Court, and as he passed through the stile he heard the Bishop
in conversation with some one on the road within.
"What is the balance that I owe you, Mr. Looney, for building those
barns on my son's farm?" the Bishop was saying.
"Seven pounds five shillings, my lord," the man answered, "and rael bad
I'm wanting the money, too, my lord, and three months I'm afther waiting
for it."
"So you are, Mr. Looney. You would have been paid before this if I'd had
wherewith to pay you."
Then there was silence between the two, and Ewan was going on, when the
Bishop added:
"Here--here--take this;" there was a sound as of the rattle of keys, and
seals, and a watch chain--"it was my old father's last gift to me, all
he had to give to me--God bless his memory!--and I little thought to
part with it--but there, take it and sell it, and pay yourself, Mr.
Looney."
The man seemed to draw back.
"Your watch!" he said. "Aw, no, no, no! Och, if I'm never paid, never,
it's not Patrick Looney that is the man to take the watch out of your
pocket."
"Take it--take it! Why, my good man"--the Bishop's voice was all but
breaking--"you should not refuse to take the time of day from your
Bishop." Then there was a jaunty laugh, with a great sob at the back of
it. "Besides, I've found the old thing a sore tax on my failing memory
this many day, to wind it and wear it. Come, it will wipe out my debt to
you."
Ewan went on; his teeth were set hard. Why had he overheard that
conversation? Was it to whet his purpose? It seemed as if there might be
some supernatural influence over him. But this was not the only
conversation he overheard that day. When he got to the "Three Legs of
Man" a carrier's cart stood outside. Ewan stepped into the lobby of the
house. The old cat was counting up the chalk marks, vertical and
horizontal, at the back of the cupboard door, and the carrier was
sitting on a round table, recounting certain mad doings at Castletown.
"'Let's down with the watch and take their lanterns,' says the captain,
says he, laughing morthal and a bit sprung, maybe; and down they went,
one a top o' the other, Jemmy the Red, and Johnny-by-Nite, and all the
rest of them, bellowing strong, and the capt'n and his pals whipping up
their lanterns and their truncheons, and away at a slant Aw, it was
right fine."
The carrier laughed loud at his story.
"Was that when Mastha Dan was down at Castletown, fixing the business
for the Fencibles?"
"Aw, yes, woman, and middlin' stiff it cost him. Next morning Jemmy the
Red and Johnny-by-Nite were off for the Castle, but the captain met
them, and 'I'm not for denying it,' says he, and 'a bit of a spree,' he
says, and Take this, Jemmy,' says he, 'and say no more.'"
"And what did he give the watch to sweeten them?"
"Three pound, they're saying. Aw, yes, woman, woman--liberal, very. None
o' yer close-fisted about the captain."
The blood rushed to Ewan's heart. In a moment he found himself asking
for Dan and hearing from the old woman with the whiskers, who spoke with
a curtsey after every syllable, that Master Dan had been seen to go down
toward the creek, the Lockjaw, under Orris Head.
Ewan went out of the pot-house and turned the lane toward the creek.
What was the mysterious influence on his destiny, that he of all men
must needs overhear two such conversations, and hear them now of all
times? The neglected lands, the impoverished old Bishop, the reckless
spendthrift, all rose before Ewan's mind in a bewildering haze.
The lane to the Lockjaw led past the shambles, that stood a little out
of the village. Ewan had often noticed the butcher's low wagon on the
road, with sheep penned in by a rope across the sternboard, or with a
calf in a net. All at once he now realized that he was walking behind
this wagon, and that a dead ox lay in it, and that the driver at the
horse's head was talking to a man who plodded along beside him. Ewan's
faculties were now more clouded than before, but he could hear, with
gaps in which his sense of hearing seemed to leave him, the conversation
between the two men.
"Well, well, just to think--killing the poor beast for stopping when the
dinner bell rang at the Coort! And them used of it for fifteen years!
Aw, well, well."
"He's no Christian, anyway, and no disrespec'."
"Christian? Christian, is it? Brute beast, as I'm sayin'. The ould
Bishop's son? Well, well."
Bit by bit, scarcely listening, losing the words sometimes, as one loses
at intervals the tick of a clock when lying awake at night with a brain
distraught, Ewan gathered up the story of the bad business at the
plowing match after he had left the meadow.
"Christian? Och, Christian?" one of the men repeated with a bitter laugh
of mockery. "I'm thinking it would be a middlin' little crime to treat a
Christian like that same as he treated the poor dumb craythurs."
Ewan's temples beat furiously, and a fearful tumult was rife in his
brain. One wild thought expelled all other thoughts. Why had he
overheard three such conversations? There could be but one answer--he
was designed by supernatural powers to be the instrument of a fixed
purpose. It was irrevocably decided--he was impelled to the terrible
business that was in his mind by an irresistible force to which he was
blind and powerless. It was so, it was so.
Ewan pushed on past the wagon, and heard the men's voices die off to an
indistinct mumble behind him. How hideous were the meditations of the
next few minutes! The beating of his temple drew the skin hard about the
scar above it. He thought of his young wife in her grave, and of the
shock that sent her there. He felt afresh the abject degradation of that
bitter moment in the library at Bishop's Court, when, to save the honor
of a forger, he had lied before God and man. Then he thought of the gray
head of that august old man, serenest of saints, fondest of fathers, the
Bishop, bowed down to the dust with shame and a ruined hope. And after
his mind had oscillated among these agonizing thoughts, there came to
him over all else and more hideous than all else, the memory of what his
own father, the Deemster, had told him an hour ago.
Ewan began to run, and as he ran all his blood seemed to rush to his
head, and a thousand confused and vague forms danced before his eyes.
All at once he recognized that he was at the mouth of the creek, going
down the steep gate to the sea that ended in the Lockjaw. Before he was
aware, he was talking with Davy Fayle, and asking for Dan. He noticed
that his voice would scarcely obey him.
"He's in the crib on the shore, sir," said Davy, and the lad turned back
to his work. He was hammering an old bent nail out of a pitch-pine plank
that had washed ashore with the last tide. After a moment Davy stopped
and looked after the young parson, and shook his head and muttered
something to himself. Then he threw down his hammer, and followed
slowly.
Ewan went on. His impatience was now feverish. He was picturing Dan as
he would find him--drinking, smoking, laughing, one leg thrown over the
end of a table, his cap awry, his face red, his eyes bleared, and his
lips hot.
It was growing dark, the snow-cloud was very low overhead, the sea-birds
were screaming down at the water's edge, and the sea's deep rumble came
up from the shingle below and the rocks beyond.
Ewan saw the tent and made for it. As he came near to it he slipped and
fell. Regaining his feet, he perceived that in the dusk he had tripped
over some chips that lay about a block. Davy had been chopping firewood
of the driftwood that the sea had sent up. Ewan saw the hatchet lying
among the loose chips. In an instant he had caught it up. Recognizing in
every event of that awful hour the mysterious influence of supernatural
powers, he read this incident as he had read all the others. Until then
he had thought of nothing but the deed he was to do; never for one
instant of how he was to do it. But now the hatchet was thrust into his
hand. Thus was everything irrevocably decided.
And now Ewan was in front of the tent, panting audibly, the hatchet in
his hand, his eyes starting from their sockets, the great veins on his
forehead hard and black. Now, O God! for a moment's strength, one little
moment's strength, now, now!
The smoke was rising from the gorse-covered roof; the little black door
was shut. Inside was Dan, Dan, Dan; and while Ewan's young wife lay in
her grave, and Ewan's sister was worse than in her grave, and the good
Bishop was brought low, Dan was there, there, and he was drinking and
laughing, and his heart was cold and dead.
Ewan lifted the latch and pushed the door open, and stepped into the
tent.
Lord of grace and mercy, what was there? On the floor of earth, in one
corner of the small place, a fire of gorse, turf, and logs burned
slowly; and near the fire Dan lay outstretched on a bed of straw, his
head pillowed on a coil of old rope, one hand twisted under his head,
the other resting lightly on his breast, and he slept peacefully like a
child.
Ewan stood for a moment shuddering and dismayed. The sight of Dan,
helpless and at his mercy, unnerved his arm and drove the fever from his
blood. There was an awful power in that sleeping man, and sleep had
wrapped him in its own divinity.
The hatchet dropped from Ewan's graspless fingers, and he covered his
face. As a drowning man is said to see all his life pass before him at
the moment of death, so Ewan saw all the past, the happy past--the past
of love and of innocence, whereof Dan was a part--rise up before him.
"It is true, I am going mad," he thought, and he fell back on to a bench
that stood by the wall. Then there came an instant of unconsciousness,
and in that instant he was again by the waters of the Jordan, and the
ewes and the rams and the milch camels were toiling through the long
grass, and Esau was falling on the neck of Jacob, and they were weeping
together.