King Kammehamma, or Kamme, as he is familiarly called, is the third of
his race: his ancestors were fierce, ungovernable gentlemen, who, in the
good old times, clubbed and killed--perhaps ate, too--nobody knows--a
great number of their enemies; but without tracing the historic truth of
these remote events, it is only necessary to state, that his present
majesty has been invested with the purple, and is, to all formal
appearances, the chief potentate of the islands.
The government is a complicated piece of political machinery, with a
constitution, and masses of subtle laws, equal in magnitude to the huge
proportions of a Chinese dictionary. There is a Legislative Assembly of
Kanakas, Ministers of State, War, Finance, Solicitors-general, an army,
a navy, and a court! This is not half, but it makes one dizzy to think
of it all at once: however, on due reflection, it is not quite so
complicated an affair after all! The government is simplified by two
bosom friends of the King--Mr. Robert Crichton Wyllie, Minister of
foreign relations; and Mr. G. P. Judd, Minister of finance. The former
is a very clever Scotch gentleman, somewhat inflated with the royal
trust reposed in him, and has, moreover, the _cathoethes scribendi_ to a
most melancholy and voluminous extent; yet he is an agreeable person,
and gives good dinners, and I have not the heart to say a syllable to
his disparagement, although I have not had the felicity of testing his
cuisine!
But Mr. Judd is the Magnus Apollo of the Island. Kamme, or the Lonely
One--as the word signifies--is his puppet, and most particularly lonely
he keeps him! The King is Punch, and Judd is Judy, and the Lonely One is
jumped about and thumped, and the wires are pulled unremittingly. Judd
is his prime counsellor, his parliament, father confessor and ghostly
adviser--his temperance lecturer, purse-bearer, and factotum generally.
There was a rumor, too, in courtly circles, that an order of nobility
was to be established, and then we shall have, probably, Baron Judd,
Peer of the Realm and Regent of the Kingdom. One would naturally suppose
that a staunch democrat from the Model Republic could not bear the
tainted air of a monarchical court in his republican nostrils, But it is
wonderful how soon we learn to estimate patriotism at so much per annum,
and with what suppleness we can kneel before a throne, if there be
dollars hidden beneath the dais. What boots it whether the chair be
filled with African or white? We want dollars!
The king was universally liked by the foreigners; for he has, indeed,
for a modernized savage, much bonhommie; is a good-hearted, well-meaning
person; rather given to conviviality, like all his race, and when
permitted to throw off the restraints of the court, he "allows his more
austere faculties to become pleasingly relaxed by a little gentle and
innocent indulgence." However, these backslidings are of rare
occurrence, and when under the argus eyes of his financial adviser, he
is never seen to exceed the limits of propriety--eschews ten-pins and
tobacco.--sips malt, and devotes his leisure to billiards.
We were to be presented at court! It occupied a number of days to
arrange certain punctilio, and finally, without any decided
misunderstanding, an hour was fixed for a royal audience.
One day, precisely as the clock tolled twelve, we sallied out into the
dusty streets--chapeau'd, sworded, belted, and laced up to the chin. The
weather was warm, too. A few minutes walk, guided by our obliging
cicerone, Mr. Wyllie, carried us to the Palace.
It is a large, square-built villa, spaciously piazzaed and windowed,
surrounded by pretty plantations of shrubbery and fruit-trees. At the
gateway a guard of Kanaka infantry presented arms, the royal standard
was unfurled from the flag-staff and floated to the breeze. Passing up a
broad, gravelled alley, we ascended a flight of steps to the piazza, and
were again saluted by a double line of officers, who were supposed to be
the black rods in waiting. Entering the villa, we found ourselves in a
wide hall traversing the centre of the building, with saloons to the
right and left. The King not having arrived, we had leisure to inspect
the reception room. It was a spacious apartment, with windows on three
sides, having green Venetian blinds opening to the piazzas, and two
doors leading to the hall. It was handsomely carpeted, and the furniture
consisted of a few plain mahogany chairs, with another of state,
surmounted by a crown. A round table stood in the centre, supporting
alabaster ornaments, volumes of Wilkes' Exploring Expedition, and a
richly-bound Bible in the native dialect, presented by that estimable
philanthropist, Elizabeth Fry. The walls were hung with portraits of the
Lonely One's family--dingy chiefs and their ladies, smiling intensely,
with round saucer eyes and thick lips--a painting of Blucher--two of the
Kings of Prussia--and facing the throne, in a gorgeously gilt and carved
frame, the King of the French; which two last, by a singular
coincidence, had lately been presented in great state and procession by
the respective consuls, on the very days their several majesties had
been dethroned!
Time was only allowed us to take a rapid glance around the saloon, when
the approach of majesty was announced, and we hurried back to the hall.
From the opposite side of the terrace appeared the regal
cortege--brilliant in embroidery, gold lace, nodding plumes, and swords
at their sides: on they came, two abreast--foremost, the King with the
Minister of Finance--then a brace of Chamberlains, followed by the High
Chiefs and officers of state, and the procession closed by the two young
princes, Alexander and Lot.
In a few moments, his excellency the Minister of Foreign Relations
imparted the august intelligence of all being prepared for our
reception. Forming in line--the Admiral leading, under pilotage of Mr.
Wyllie--we entered the saloon, and approached the throne. The King was
standing, and the courtiers ranged on either side. Our Admiral backed
his topsails and let go an anchor on the Lonely One's port beam: we were
then telegraphed by name--shot ahead--hove to abreast His
Majesty--exchanged signals--filled away and took position by order of
sailing on the starboard bow!
His excellency the Minister of Finance--who, by the way, was not an
ill-looking nobleman--in full court costume, and a field-marshal's
chapeau tucked under his arm--announced to the Admiral that His Majesty
would deign to lend a willing ear to any observations upon religion,
war, politics, or any other topics most agreeable. Whereupon, the
Admiral having a few remarks all ready prepared in his pocket, proceeded
to dilate on the happiness he felt in being thus honored--spoke of the
extraordinary beauty of the Islands--touched upon usefulness of
missionaries, and ended by expressing solicitude for His Majesty's
welfare and dynasty.
This speech, was immediately translated by the courtly Judd, who, with
admirable foresight, had provided himself beforehand with a copy.
Thereupon he handed the King a reply, who began in much the same strain
as the Admiral, and concluded by hinting that he hoped his dynasty
_would_ last a long time!
The business being now happily arranged, His Majesty and the Admiral
became seated, and the rest of us were permitted to mingle freely with
the Kanaka court.
Kammehamma, and all his native attendants, had handsome, agreeable
faces, and were extremely well made. The Premier, John Young, a
half-breed, would be recognized for an elegant person in any part of the
world. Two were of just and colossal proportions--one, the High Chief
Parkee, the greatest Chamberlain probably in the world--for he weighs
nearly four hundred pounds: I forget the precise number of chairs he
crashes annually, but it is something enormous, and he is the terror of
all housekeepers.
The King, Premier and Judd, had broad red ribbons thrown baldric fashion
over breast and shoulders, of such extreme breadth as to give the idea
of the wearers having burst their jugular arteries.
Whilst intently occupied regarding this brilliant throng, I happened to
attract the attention of an intelligent copper youth, some twenty years
old, who spoke English perfectly well, and who in fact patronised me
with great politeness and suavity of demeanor; and well he might, for he
was Prince of the blood royal, and could afford it. There chanced to be
a fine engraving of Queen Victoria and infant family, in the hall.
"This," said His Highness, pointing with marked emphasis to the little
Prince of Wales, "this is the heir to the British throne!" Ah! thought
I, forgive me, but you occupy the same elevated position in the Hawaiian
dynasty! My conjecture was well founded.
By some means the succession of late had been changed. And, by the way,
it is a wise institution they have, of continuing the descent from the
female branch. The war-club, feathers, and other regalia, were to have
fallen upon the brows of one Prince Moses; but Moses was suspected of
being too pointed in his attentions to the Queen consort
herself--scandal perhaps--although there could be no question about the
sad havoc he committed in the hearts of the youthful _wyheenees_ of the
Royal Academy! Ah! wicked Moses! His excellency the Financial Minister,
fearing future inroads upon the peace of families, had the gay Lothario
banished to a remote and desolate district of the Island, and the
succession transferred to a brother--the youth who evinced so much
complaisance towards me.
We remained a full hour, and then made our adieus, "the interview having
passed," according to the Court Journal, "much to the satisfaction of
all parties."
For my own part I was excessively diverted with the rarce-show, and
thought it highly ridiculous. What greater folly can exist than aping
the forms and etiquette of an European court? If, as is contended, the
natives are not sufficiently advanced in civilization for free
government, it is by no means imperative to set up a tinsel puppet, to
dazzle the eyes of a few half-naked savages; for surely no intelligent
person can be so blind an owl as not to detect and despise the cheat.
These vain-glorious ceremonies and pretensions are also, in a certain
degree, the cause of embroiling the Hawaiian Government with other
nations, whose consuls or diplomatic agents complain of bad treatment;
but in all the bullying or advice volunteered, incident upon their
indiscretions, there has been none so sensible, and so plainly given, as
the letter of an English Admiral to the King, consequent upon outrages
committed upon a British subject in 1846. Outcries are raised, too, in
these cases, by individuals who have renounced their own country and
sworn allegiance to a new native master, about the oppression of
American citizens.
One may forgive the absurdity attending these proceedings in a
Scotchman, but it is inexcusable in a Yankee. Still many measures
emanating from these sagacious councillors are characterised by a
careful regard to the interests of the native population. But then there
are other laws, which have not the ground of expediency to uphold them,
wherein strangers are incapacitated from becoming owners of landed
property without swearing fealty to the Hawaiian King! As a consequence,
the greater portion of tillable ground is held by the chief, who has
neither the sense nor energy to direct the steps for a proper
development of the soil. The lower order are the occupants, who
themselves are not eligible to a free tenure, and at least one-half, or
two-thirds the benefits of their labor is taken in some way by the
proprietors. Thus, without an incentive to greater efforts the country
languishes under the same species of feudal tyranny and extortion, as in
the days of their cannibal forefathers! The islands are rich and
fertile; sugar, coffee, and tobacco flourish luxuriantly; and under any
other system than the present, there could be no bounds placed upon the
advantages and wealth that would follow. Yet, although this policy,
which destroys the energies and resources of the group, is in the
greatest degree narrow-minded and illiberal, still it is the only course
that will sustain the wise statesman who framed it; for their
Excellencies are much too shrewd not to perceive, with prophetic
vision, that the very moment the lands are thrown open to foreign
enterprise and competition, a preponderating influence will be acquired
by the wealth and intelligence of foreigners themselves, the lands will
slip like water through the hands of the chiefs; and not only will the
Lonely One be called upon to throw off the Imperial tappa, but the royal
ministers, also, will be required to resign the purse-strings and
portfolios, and betake themselves to the retirements of simple
citizenship.
It is blameable, too, to pamper these semi-tutored island potentates
with such highly-seasoned dainties, when in a few years, or may be
months, they may be obliged to descend to native life, and without the
interest attached to martyrs or Eastern princes we read of, be made a
laughing-stock to their former subjects. As things remain, the entire
institution of puppet-king, complex government, and scheming advisers,
is at best but an indifferent piece of charlatanism and deception.
Nevertheless we were distressed at the thoughts of leaving these lovely
islands, for we had become deeply imbued with the rage for realizing
rapid fortunes, in the culture of sugar and coffee. Indeed, some of our
party were so thoroughly bitten, as to enter into negociations with
prime ministers, and other great people, wherein special royal
ordinances were to grant certain titles, with many advantageous
exemptions; and we spoke seriously of importing machinery, Malays,
Chinese, and of other operations; until at last we began to fancy
ourselves doomed to pass the remainder of our lives among the kanakas.