of which is properly your province; though as far as I have been
conversant in your papers, you have not yet considered them. These are
the deplorable ignorance that for some years hath reigned among our
English writers, the great depravity of our taste, and the continual
corruption of our style. I say nothing here of those who handle
particular sciences, divinity, law, physic, and the like; I mean the
traders in history and politics, and the _belles lettres_; together
with those by whom books are not translated, but (as the common
expressions are) done out of French, Latin, or other language, and made
English. I cannot but observe to you, that till of late years a Grub
Street book was always bound in sheepskin, with suitable print and
paper, the price never above a shilling, and taken off wholly by common
tradesmen or country pedlars; but now they appear in all sizes and
shapes, and in all places. They are handed about from lapfuls in every
coffee-house to persons of quality; are shown in Westminster Hall and
the Court of Requests. You may see them gilt and in royal paper of five
or six hundred pages, and rated accordingly. I would engage to furnish
you with a catalogue of English books published within the compass of
seven years past, which at the first hand would cost you a hundred
pounds, wherein you shall not be able to find ten lines together of
common grammar or common sense.
"These two evils, ignorance and want of taste, have produced a third;
I mean the continual corruption of our English tongue, which, without
some timely remedy, will suffer more by the false refinements of twenty
years past than it hath been improved in the foregoing hundred. And
this is what I design chiefly to enlarge upon, leaving the former evils
to your animadversion.
"But instead of giving you a list of the late refinements crept into
our language, I here send you the copy of a letter I received some time
ago from a most accomplished person in this way of writing; upon which
I shall make some remarks. It is in these terms:
"'SIR,
"'I _cou'dn't_ get the things you sent for all _about town_. I _thôt_
to _ha'_ come down myself, and then _I'd h' bôt 'um_; but I _ha'n't
don't_, and I believe I _can't d't, that's pozz_. Tom[121] begins
to _gi'mself_ airs, because _he's_ going with the _plenipo's_. 'Tis
said the French King will _bamboozl' us agen_, which _causes many
speculations_. The Jacks and others of that _kidney_ are very _uppish_,
and _alert upon't_, as you may see by their _phizz's_. Will Hazzard has
got the _hipps_, having lost _to the tune of_ five hundr'd pound, _thô_
he understands play very well, _nobody better_. He has promis't me upon
_rep_, to leave off play; but you know 'tis a weakness _he's_ too apt
to _give into, thô_ he has as much wit as any man, _nobody more_. He
has lain _incog._ ever since. The _mobb's_ very quiet with us now. I
believe you _thôt_ I _bantr'd_ you in my last like a _country put_. I
_shan't_ leave town this month,' &c.
"This letter is in every point an admirable pattern of the present
polite way of writing, nor is it of less authority for being an
epistle: you may gather every flower in it, with a thousand more
of equal sweetness, from the books, pamphlets, and single papers,
offered us every day in the coffee-houses: and these are the beauties
introduced to supply the want of wit, sense, humour, and learning,
which formerly were looked upon as qualifications for a writer. If
a man of wit, who died forty years ago, were to rise from the grave
on purpose, how would he be able to read this letter? And after he
had got through that difficulty, how would he be able to understand
it? The first thing that strikes your eye is the breaks at the end of
almost every sentence, of which I know not the use, only that it is a
refinement, and very frequently practised. Then you will observe the
abbreviations and elisions, by which consonants of most obdurate sound
are joined together, without one softening vowel to intervene; and
all this only to make one syllable of two, directly contrary to the
example of the Greeks and Romans, altogether of the Gothic strain, and
a natural tendency towards relapsing into barbarity, which delights
in monosyllables, and uniting of mute consonants, as it is observable
in all the Northern languages. And this is still more visible in the
next refinement, which consists in pronouncing the first syllable in
a word that has many, and dismissing the rest; such as phizz, hipps,
mobb, pozz, rep, and many more, when we are already overloaded with
monosyllables, which are the disgrace of our language. Thus we cram one
syllable, and cut off the rest, as the owl fattened her mice after she
had bit off their legs, to prevent them from running away; and if ours
be the same reason for maiming our words, it will certainly answer the
end, for I am sure no other nation will desire to borrow them. Some
words are hitherto but fairly split, and therefore only in their way
to perfection, as incog. and plenipo; but in a short time, 'tis to be
hoped, they will be further docked to inc. and plen. This reflection
has made me of late years very impatient for a peace, which I believe
would save the lives of many brave words, as well as men. The war has
introduced abundance of polysyllables, which will never be able to
live many more campaigns. Speculations, operations, preliminaries,
ambassadors, palisadoes, communication, circumvallation, battalions,
as numerous as they are, if they attack us too frequently in our
coffee-houses, we shall certainly put them to flight, and cut off the
rear.
"The third refinement observable in the letter I send you, consists in
the choice of certain words invented by some pretty fellows, such as
banter, bamboozle, country put, and kidney, as it is there applied,
some of which are now struggling for the vogue, and others are in
possession of it. I have done my utmost for some years past to stop
the progress of mobb and banter, but have been plainly borne down by
numbers, and betrayed by those who promised to assist me.
"In the last place, you are to take notice of certain choice phrases
scattered through the letter, some of them tolerable enough, till they
were worn to rags by servile imitators. You might easily find them,
though they were not in a different print, and therefore I need not
disturb them.
"These are the false refinements in our style which you ought to
correct: first, by argument and fair means; but if those fail, I think
you are to make use of your authority as censor, and by an annual
'Index Expurgatorius' expunge all words and phrases that are offensive
to good sense, and condemn those barbarous mutilations of vowels and
syllables. In this last point the usual pretence is, that they spell as
they speak: a noble standard for language! To depend upon the caprice
of every coxcomb, who, because words are the clothing of our thoughts,
cuts them out and shapes them as he pleases, and changes them oftener
than his dress. I believe all reasonable people would be content that
such refiners were more sparing in their words and liberal in their
syllables: and upon this head I should be glad you would bestow some
advice upon several young readers in our churches, who coming up from
the university full fraught with admiration of our town politeness,
will needs correct the style of their prayer-books. In reading the
Absolution, they are very careful to say 'pardons' and 'absolves';
and in the prayer for the royal family it must be 'endue 'um, enrich
'um, prosper 'um, and bring 'um.' Then in their sermons they use all
the modern terms of art: sham, banter, mob, bubble, bully, cutting,
shuffling, and palming; all which, and many more of the like stamp, as
I have heard them often in the pulpit from such young sophisters, so
I have read them in some of those sermons that have made most noise
of late. The design, it seems, is to avoid the dreadful imputation
of pedantry; to show us that they know the town, understand men and
manners, and have not been poring upon old unfashionable books in the
university.
"I should be glad to see you the instrument of introducing into our
style that simplicity which is the best and truest ornament of most
things in life, which the politer ages always aimed at in their
building and dress (_simplex munditiis_), as well as their productions
of wit. It is manifest, that all new affected modes of speech,
whether borrowed from the court, the town, or the theatre, are the
first perishing parts in any language; and, as I could prove by many
hundred instances, have been so in ours. The writings of Hooker, who
was a country clergyman, and of Parsons the Jesuit, both in the reign
of Queen Elizabeth, are in a style that, with very few allowances,
would not offend any present reader; much more clear and intelligible
than those of Sir H. Wootton, Sir Rob. Naunton, Osborn, Daniel the
historian, and several others who wrote later; but being men of the
court, and affecting the phrases then in fashion, they are often either
not to be understood, or appear perfectly ridiculous.
"What remedies are to be applied to these evils, I have not room to
consider, having, I fear, already taken up most of your paper. Besides,
I think it is our office only to represent abuses, and yours to redress
them. I am with great respect,
"Sir,
"Your, &c."
FOOTNOTES:
[120] Swift was author of the letter which fills the remainder of
this paper. See his "Journal to Stella," Sept. 18, 1710: "Got home
early, and began a letter to the _Tatler_ about the corruptions of
style and writing, &c." Sept. 23, 1710: "I have sent a long letter to
Bickerstaff, let the Bishop of Clogher smoke it if he can." Sept. 29,
1710: "I made a _Tatler_ since I came; guess which it is, and whether
the Bishop of Clogher smokes it." Oct. 1, 1710: "Have you smoked the
_Tatler_ that I wrote? It is much liked here, and I think it a pure
one."
[121] Thomas Harley, minister at the Court of Hanover, and cousin of
Robert Harley, afterwards Earl of Oxford. He died in 1737.
=No. 231.= [STEELE.
Principiis obsta----
OVID, Rem. Amor. 91.
From _Thursday, Sept. 28_, to _Saturday, Sept. 30, 1710_.
_From my own Apartment, Sept. 29._
There are very many ill habits that might with much ease have been
prevented, which, after we have indulged ourselves in them, become
incorrigible. We have a sort of proverbial expression, of taking a
woman down in her wedding shoes, if you would bring her to reason. An
early behaviour of this sort had a very remarkable good effect in a
family wherein I was several years an intimate acquaintance.
A gentleman in Lincolnshire[122] had four daughters, three of which
were early married very happily; but the fourth, though no way
inferior to any of her sisters, either in person or accomplishments,
had from her infancy discovered so imperious a temper (usually called a
high spirit), that it continually made great uneasiness in the family,
became her known character in the neighbourhood, and deterred all
her lovers from declaring themselves. However, in process of time, a
gentleman of a plentiful fortune and long acquaintance, having observed
that quickness of spirit to be her only fault, made his addresses, and
obtained her consent in due form. The lawyers finished the writings
(in which, by the way, there was no pin-money), and they were married.
After a decent time spent in the father's house, the bridegroom went
to prepare his seat for her reception. During the whole course of his
courtship, though a man of the most equal temper, he had artificially
lamented to her, that he was the most passionate creature breathing. By
this one intimation, he at once made her understand warmth of temper
to be what he ought to pardon in her, as well as that he alarmed her
against that constitution in himself. She at the same time thought
herself highly obliged by the composed behaviour which he maintained
in her presence. Thus far he with great success soothed her from being
guilty of violences, and still resolved to give her such a terrible
apprehension of his fiery spirit, that she should never dream of giving
way to her own. He returned on the day appointed for carrying her home;
but instead of a coach and six horses, together with the gay equipage
suitable to the occasion, he appeared without a servant, mounted on the
skeleton of a horse which his huntsman had the day before brought in
to feast his dogs on the arrival of their new mistress, with a pillion
fixed behind, and a case of pistols before him, attended only by a
favourite hound. Thus equipped, he in a very obliging (but somewhat
positive) manner desired his lady to seat herself on the cushion; which
done, away they crawled. The road being obstructed by a gate, the dog
was commanded to open it: the poor cur looked up and wagged his tail;
but the master, to show the impatience of his temper, drew a pistol and
shot him dead. He had no sooner done it, but he fell into a thousand
apologies for his unhappy rashness, and begged as many pardons for his
excesses before one for whom he had so profound a respect. Soon after
their steed stumbled, but with some difficulty recovered: however,
the bridegroom took occasion to swear, if he frightened his wife so
again, he would run him through: and alas! the poor animal being now
almost tired, made a second trip; immediately on which the careful
husband alights, and with great ceremony first takes off his lady,
then the accoutrements, draws his sword, and saves the huntsman the
trouble of killing him: then says to his wife, "Child, prithee take
up the saddle;" which she readily did, and tugged it home, where they
found all things in the greatest order, suitable to their fortune and
the present occasion. Some time after the father of the lady gave an
entertainment to all his daughters and their husbands, where, when
the wives were retired, and the gentlemen passing a toast about, our
last married man took occasion to observe to the rest of his brethren,
how much, to his great satisfaction, he found the world mistaken as
to the temper of his lady, for that she was the most meek and humble
woman breathing. The applause was received with a loud laugh: but as a
trial which of them would appear the most master at home, he proposed
they should all by turns send for their wives down to them. A servant
was despatched, and answer was made by one, "Tell him I will come
by-and-by;" another, that she would come when the cards were out of
her hand; and so on. But no sooner was her husband's desire whispered
in the ear of our last married lady, but the cards were clapped on the
table, and down she comes with, "My dear, would you speak with me?" He
receives her in his arms, and after repeated caresses, tells her the
experiment, confesses his good-nature, and assures her, that since she
could now command her temper, he would no longer disguise his own.
I received the following letter, with a dozen of wine, and cannot but
do justice to the liquor, and give my testimony, that I have tried
it upon several of my acquaintances, who were given to impertinent
abbreviations,[123] with great success:
* * * * *
"Mr. BICKERSTAFF,
"I send you by this bearer, and not per bearer, a dozen of that
claret which is to be sold at Garraway's Coffee-house on Thursday the
fifth of October next. I can assure you, I have found by experience
the efficacy of it in amending a fault you complain of in your last.
The very first draught of it has some effect upon the speech of the
drinker, and restores all the letters taken away by the elisions so
justly complained of. Will Hazzard was cured of his hypochondria by
three glasses; and the gentleman who gave you an account of his late
indisposition, has in public company, after the first quart, spoke
every syllable of the word plenipotentiary.
"Your, &c."
FOOTNOTES:
[122] This story is simply that of Katherine and Petruchio, in "The
Taming of the Shrew," retold. It would seem that Steele was able to
count upon his readers having very little knowledge of Shakespeare.
[123] See No. 230.
=No. 232.= [STEELE.
From _Saturday Sept. 30_, to _Tuesday, Oct. 3, 1710_.
_From my own Apartment, Oct. 2._
I have received the following letter from my unfortunate old
acquaintance the upholsterer,[124] who, I observed, had long absented
himself from the bench at the upper end of the Mall. Having not seen
him for some time, I was in fear I should soon hear of his death,
especially since he never appeared, though the noons have been of late
pretty warm, and the councils at that place very full from the hour of
twelve to three, which the sages of that board employ in conference,
while the unthinking part of mankind are eating and drinking for the
support of their own private persons, without any regard to the public.
* * * * *
"SIR,
"I should have waited on you very frequently to have discoursed you
upon some matters of moment, but that I love to be well informed in
the subject upon which I consult my friends before I enter into debate
with them. I have therefore with the utmost care and pains applied
myself to the reading all the writings and pamphlets which have come
out since the trial,[125] and have studied night and day in order to be
master of the whole controversy; but the authors are so numerous, and
the state of affairs alters so very fast, that I am now a fortnight
behindhand in my reading, and know only how things stood twelve days
ago. I wish you would enter into those useful subjects; for, if I may
be allowed to say so, these are not times to jest in. As for my own
part, you know very well, that I am of a public spirit, and never
regarded my own interest, but looked further; and let me tell you,
that while some people are minding only themselves and families, and
others are thinking only of their own country, things go on strangely
in the North. I foresee very great evils arising from the neglect of
transactions at a distance; for which reason I am now writing a letter
to a friend in the country, which I design as an answer to the Czar
of Muscovy's letter to the Grand Signior concerning his Majesty of
Sweden. I have endeavoured to prove that it is not reasonable to expect
that his Swedish Majesty should leave Bender without forty thousand
men; and I have added to this an apology for the Cossacks. But the
matter multiplies upon me, and I grow dim with much writing; therefore
desire, if you have an old green pair of spectacles, such as you used
about your fiftieth year, that you send them to me; as also, that you
would please to desire Mr. Morphew to send me in a bushel of coals on
the credit of my answer to his Czarian Majesty; for I design it shall
be printed for Morphew, and the weather grows sharp. I shall take it
kindly if you would order him also to send me the papers as they come
out. If there are no fresh pamphlets published, I compute that I shall
know before the end of next month what has been done in town to this
day. If it were not for an ill custom lately introduced by a certain
author, of talking Latin at the beginning of papers, matters would
be in a much clearer light than they are; but to our comfort, there
are solid writers who are not guilty of this pedantry. The _Post-Man_
writes like an angel: the _Moderator_[126] is fine reading! It would
do you no harm to read the _Post-Boy_ with attention; he is very deep
of late. He is instructive; but I confess a little satirical: a sharp
pen! He cares not what he says. The _Examiner_ is admirable, and is
become a grave and substantial author. But above all, I am at a loss
how to govern myself in my judgment of those whose whole writings
consist in interrogatories: and then the way of answering, by proposing
questions as hard to them, is quite as extraordinary. As for my part, I
tremble at these novelties; we expose, in my opinion, our affairs too
much by it. You may be sure the French King will spare no cost to come
at the reading of them. I dread to think if the fable of the Blackbirds
should fall into his hands. But I shall not venture to say more till I
see you. In the meantime,
"I am, &c.
"_P.S._--I take the Bender letter in the _Examiner_ to be
spurious."[127]
This unhappy correspondent, whose fantastical loyalty to the King of
Sweden has reduced him to this low condition of reason and fortune,
would appear much more monstrous in his madness, did we not see crowds
very little above his circumstances from the same cause, a passion to
politics.
It is no unpleasant entertainment to consider the commerce even of
the sexes interrupted by difference in State affairs. A wench and her
gallant parted last week upon the words "unlimited" and "passive":
and there is such a jargon of terms got into the mouths of the very
silliest of the women, that you cannot come into a room even among
them, but you find them divided into Whig and Tory. What heightens the
humour is, that all the hard words they know they certainly suppose
to be terms useful in the disputes of the parties. I came in this day
where two were in very hot debate, and one of them proposed to me
to explain to them what was the difference between circumcision and
predestination. You may be sure I was at a loss; but they were too
angry at each other to wait for my explanation, but proceeded to lay
open the whole state of affairs, instead of the usual topics of dress,
gallantry, and scandal.
I have often wondered how it should be possible that this turn to
politics should so universally prevail, to the exclusion of every other
subject out of conversation; and upon mature consideration, find it is
for want of discourse. Look round you among all the young fellows you
meet, and you see those who have least relish for books, company, or
pleasure, though they have no manner of qualities to make them succeed
in those pursuits, shall make very passable politicians. Thus the most
barren invention shall find enough to say to make one appear an able
man in the top coffee-houses. It is but adding a certain vehemence in
uttering yourself, let the thing you say be never so flat, and you
shall be thought a very sensible man, if you were not too hot. As love
and honour are the noblest motives of life; so the pretenders to them,
without being animated by them, are the most contemptible of all sorts
of pretenders. The unjust affectation of anything that is laudable, is
ignominious in proportion to the worth of the thing we affect: thus, as
love of one's country is the most glorious of all passions, to see the
most ordinary tools in a nation give themselves airs that way, without
any one good quality in their own life, has something in it romantic,
yet not so ridiculous as odious.
ADVERTISEMENT.
Mr. Bickerstaff has received Silvia's letter from the Bath, and his
sister is set out thither. Tom Frontley, who is one of the guides for
the town, is desired to bring her into company, and oblige her with a
mention in his next lampoon.
FOOTNOTES:
[124] See Nos. 155, 160, and 178.
[125] Sacheverell's.
[126] The _Moderator_, which professed to discuss the arguments of both
parties impartially, lasted from May to November 1710.
[127] No. 7 of the _Examiner_ contained what purported to be a letter
from a Swedish officer at Bender to his friend at Stockholm.
=No. 233.= [STEELE.
From _Tuesday, Oct. 3_, to _Thursday, Oct. 5, 1710_.
----Sunt certa piacula, quæ te
Ter pure lecto poterunt recreare libello.
HOR., 1 Ep. i. 36.
_From my own Apartment, Oct. 4._