It was one of such a hundred as seldom find their way to the
back-blocks of New South Wales. And the box was heralded by the
following letter, written at a London club in the depth of winter, and
read by me in my shirt-sleeves some few weeks later, as I rode home to
the station with our weekly mail:--
"DEAR OLD BOY,--A Merry Christmas to you, and may the Lord give you
wisdom with the New Year, that you don't spend much of it in such an
infernal hole as your station seems to be. I'm particularly exercised
about the baccy like shoe-leather, which you cut up for yourself
before every pipe. I fear it may have a demoralising effect, so am
sending you a Christmas box of decent cigars. Don't treasure them, old
chap, but smoke the whole lot between Christmas and New Year, and if
you like 'em send for more from your affectionate brother
"CHARLES."
Charles was a trump; but he had reckoned without the colonial tariff.
I had to get a friend in Sydney to go to the custom-house for me, and
I paid pretty heavily for my cigars before they ultimately reached
me about the middle of January. However, they were well worth the
money and the delay; for the dear good fellow had sent me a box of
Villar-y-Villar (Excepcionales Rothschild) to waste their costly
fragrance upon the drought-stricken wilds of Riverina.
You should have seen us when we opened the box, the manager and I.
It was the cool of the evening in the homestead verandah, yet there
was not wind enough to shake the flame of a vesta. We brought out the
kerosine lamp, set it down on the edge of the verandah, and seated
ourselves one on each side, with our feet in the sand of the station
yard, and the cigar-box also between us. Reverently we raised the
lid with a paper-knife, and were impressed, you may be sure, to find
the cigars wrapped up in silver paper, every one, and looking like
so many little silver torpedoes under the lamp. Then we lit up, and
leaned against the verandah posts, and blew beautiful clouds into the
cloudless purple sky, and listened to the locusts, and made a bet as to
whose ash would fall first, which the manager won. Altogether it was a
luxurious hour, and I for one had never tasted such a cigar before. The
manager, however, a native of the colony, asserted that he had often
bought as good, or better, of a bush hawker, at twenty-five shillings
the hundred. But I had noticed how very gingerly he removed the silver
paper from what was now a few heaps of very white ash and a stump,
which he was smoking, with the aid of his pen-knife, down to the last
quarter-inch.
Though the gift came so late, the donor's sporting injunctions I
considered as sacred, and we gave ourselves a week to finish the box
in. It was heavy smoking for hard-working young men accustomed only to
the pipe. I afterwards found that the manager had banked some of his
share in his desk, and I did not smoke all mine myself. I kept a case
in my pocket, however, and so it happened that I had cigars about me on
the broiling day when I camped in the shade with the man who had the
reputation of being the champion swearer of the back-blocks. He was
also a capital hand with sheep, but it was his notoriously foul mouth
that had made him a public character, and throughout the district he
was known as Hell-fire Jim.
We had met neither by accident nor design, but all by reason of the
incredibly long range of Jim's language at its worst: on this occasion
he must have brought me down at several hundred yards. Not that it was
more than a voice that reached me first, for I was cantering to his
assistance when the words caused me to draw rein and to marvel. It is
one thing to use strong language in wild places where it is impossible
to enforce your meaning without recourse to the local convention; to
curse dumb animals in the silent bush, as Jim was doing when I came
up with him, is surely different and peculiar. Yet I found him in
provoking plight: wrestling in the thick of the scrub with some twenty
weak sheep. The sheep were camping under the trees in twos and threes.
Jim was galloping from one group to another with the perspiration
dripping from his nose and beard and imprecations hurtling from his
mouth; but it was impossible for a mere man on horseback to round up
that mob among those trees, or to manage them at all; and Jim's dog was
skulking and lolling its tongue, good for nothing for want of water.
That was where I had come in. My water-bag was nearly full; his had
sprung a leak and was empty. To give the dog a drink out of his
wide-awake was the boundary-rider's first act when I handed him my bag;
then he took a pull himself. The suggestion that we should off-saddle
and do a spell together came from me. The dog had found its voice and
rounded up the mob before Jim finished drinking; we set him to watch
the sheep in the shade, tethered our horses, and carried our saddles to
a tree apart, leaving marks like inkstains on the animals' backs. The
place was a sandy gully thickly timbered with pines. We chose the tree
with the closest warp and woof of shadow underneath, and there made
short work of such provisions as we carried, with further reductions in
the bulk of my water-bag.
It was the very hottest day I can remember in the bush; in the shade of
the homestead verandah the thermometer touched 116°; and I recollect
my companion showing me a tear in his moleskins, done that morning by
a pine-branch, and the little triangle of exposed skin on which an
hour's sun had left the mark of a mustard leaf. The fellow was near to
physical perfection, a sterling specimen of the Saxon type, with the
fair skin which naturally burns red; but his blue eyes were sunken, and
had the strange rickety look of one who has drunk both deep and long
at some period of his life. Jim still knocked down his cheque, but not
oftener or with worse effects than another. We regarded him, however,
as our biggest blackguard, and as such he interested me, so that my eye
was on him as we ate: I afterwards remembered his way of eating.
Our snack over, Jim had his cutty in his mouth and was paring a plug
of black tobacco before I thought of my cigars. He laughed and swore
as I produced the case, but when I opened it, and the silver cones
stuck out under his nose, he helped himself without a word. His easy
method of slipping off the silver paper (which had visibly embarrassed
the manager of our station), and the way the boundary-rider held out
his hand for my knife, are two more things which struck one later.
The shape of that sun-chapped hand is a third. Heaven knows I was not
consciously observant at the time. I rolled over on my back, my saddle
for a pillow, and took to sending up soft, chastening clouds into the
garish blue overhead. The subtle fragrance of the smoke mingled with
the pungent smell of the pines, the hot still air grew rich with both;
a vertical sun stabbed the fronds above us with pins and needles of
dazzling light that struck to the ground like golden rain; and, but
for my cigar, I had yielded to these sensuous influences and thrown
it aside to close my eyes. Thus was I the slave of my luxury, but
consoled myself with the thought that Jim's enjoyment would at least be
heart-whole. Yet he never said so, and as we lay I could see no more
of him than a single sidespring boot, a long spur, and three inches of
shiny brown legging.
"You don't say how it strikes you, Jim."
"The cigar?"
"To be sure."
"Oh, it's not a bad smoke."
"No?" I raised myself on one elbow to look at the fellow. He had the
cigar between his forefinger and thumb, and was blowing the most
perfect rings of tobacco-smoke I ever saw.
"Yes, it's a good cigar," our boundary-rider went so far as to concede;
then he replaced it between his teeth, after a moment's scrutiny with
his unkempt head on one side.
"Quite sure?" I smiled.
"Quite. For my part, mind you, I prefer a good Muria--they're not so
rich. It's purely a matter of taste, however, and certainly these are
much more expensive."
"Indeed! Perhaps you can price them, Jim?"
"The cigar that I am smoking," said Hell-fire Jim, "would cost you a
shilling at the club. If a shilling or two were an object, I suppose
you could get them by the box at about ninety-two the hundred."
It was no longer what he said that astonished me, but the soft tone of
his voice and the sudden absence from his conversation of the ingenious
oath-combinations for which it was notorious. I sat bolt upright now,
and must have shown my feelings pretty plainly, for he hastened to
explain.
"I was once a waiter in a London club," he said. "That's how I know."
"Not a waiter, Jim," said I, looking him steadily in his sunken eyes.
Then I begged his pardon. But Jim seemed pleased.
"Mean to say you think I was a member?"
"If you ask me, that was my idea."
"Then you were right. I was a member of several. Does it surprise you?"
he added, with, I think, a rather wistful smile. I cannot be sure of
that smile. His whole manner was agreeably free from sentiment.
"It doesn't surprise me a bit," I said.
"Not to find me the stump-end of a gentleman, eh?"
"No; I see that you are one."
"Was, my boy--was," corrected Jim. "I say," he went on, "this is a
great cigar! You have to puff a bit to appreciate it properly."
He threw back his head and left a number of his little grey rings
curling into thin air against the blue. I was not going to ask him any
questions. We smoked for some time in silence. Then he exclaimed, with
his eyebrows right up on his forehead, as though he himself could
hardly credit it:
"Yes, by Jove! I was at Eton and the House."
"Nothing surprises me in this country," I remarked.
"Yet you're about the first that ever spotted _me_. By the way, I'm not
the wicked baronet or the disguised duke, don't you know? My father's
only a country squire of sorts--if he's alive. But he sent me to Eton
and from there to Oxford; and from Oxford I went to the Temple, and
from the Temple to the devil and all his angels. There I've stuck. And
that's the genesis of Hell-fire Jimmie, if you care to know it."
I cared to know infinitely more. These crude headings were small
satisfaction to me looking at the handsome sunburnt stockman and
realising that I was alone in the wilderness with the romantic ruin
of a noble manhood. I turned away from the quiet devil-may-care smile
in the sunken blue eyes, in order to conceal the curiosity which was
consuming me. I dropped back on my elbow to the ground, and stared
into the unbroken unsuggestive blue of the southern summer sky. When
I sucked at my cigar I discovered that I had let it out. Turning
once more to my companion, I found him puffing his with the loving
deliberation of a connoisseur.
"Like velvet, isn't it?" he murmured, stroking the brown leaf gently
with his finger. "That's one of the points of a good cigar, and
another's the ash. You never saw a firmer nor a whiter ash than this.
My good fellow, it's a cigar for the gods!"
He held it admiringly at arm's length, as I relit mine. Then he smoked
on in silence, but very slowly and caressingly, for some minutes
longer. At length he said musingly:
"I wonder how long it is since I smoked my last cigar? How long is it
since I came out here? I'm losing count of the years, and I've just
about forgotten Oxford and London, and the wine and the women, and the
old country altogether. All but one woman and one village.... I suppose
you couldn't put a fellow in the way of forgetting _them_?"
I was still wondering what on earth to say to him--for once more I
seemed to detect a wistful ring in his voice--when he settled the
question himself by laughing in my face.
"How could you help me when you don't know the yarn?" he asked, with
his blue eyes full of amusement. "Look here, I've a good mind to
inflict it on you!"
"Wouldn't that hurt?" I could not help asking him.
"Nothing hurts now," he answered, with a queer, quiet sort of swagger
in his tone and manner. "If anything ever did hurt, it's what I'm
thinking of now; it might hurt less if I told you something about it."
"Then go on by all means. You may trust me to hold my tongue."
"My good fellow, why should you? Tell whom you like. It makes no
difference. Nothing has made any difference for years. Besides, it's
well enough known in the old country, though I've never spoken of it,
drunk or sober, out here. I can't think why I should want to speak of
it now--but I do."
He leant towards me and paused, admiring the white unbroken ash of his
cigar, and half smiling. That half-smile was to me the saddest feature
of a narrative of which it was the constant accompaniment. The tragic
story which affected me so deeply seemed simply to interest the man who
had brought the tragedy about. He told it in the fewest and the coolest
words.
"One village and one woman--that's all. Deuce knows how many other
women there were who could claim to come into the yarn, but I've
forgotten them all but that one. There were plenty of villages, too,
round about, including our own, but I'm only going to tell you of hers.
Ours was not so much a village as a kingdom under the absolute rule of
the most tyrannical old despot in this world--if he is in it still--I
mean my father. He bullied and bossed the whole parish, including the
parson, insulting the poor devil and threatening to have him suspended
every other Sunday. He himself snarled out the lessons in church, and
he made me learn texts by rote before I could read; for my father was
one of those hard-bitten old saints who breed sinners like me the
whole world over.
"But three miles from our village, which was in a constant simmer of
discontent and suppressed rebellion, lay just the sweetest and most
peaceful spot on earth, where it seems to me now that the sun was
always shining. It was one long, old street of yellow walls and red
tiles, and when you got to the end of it, there was the thatched church
and the rectory, and the good old rector with his two hands stretched
out to greet you, and hovering about him, to a certainty, the purest
angel that ever wasted her love on a devil incarnate. I won't tell you
the name of the village nor yet of the county. You'll be going back to
the old dust one of these days, and you might run across my people. I
don't want you to know it if you do. You may take your oath you won't
hear of me from them; they've done their best to forget my existence.
Oh, dear, yes, my name on the station books is as false as hell, like
the rest of me. But I don't mind telling you her name. It was Edith,
and I used to call her Edie. Jolly name, Edie, sweet and simple like
the poor little thing herself. Rum thing, isn't it, how easily it still
slips off my tongue?"
He stopped to smile me his strange impersonal smile, and to attend to
his cigar. So far he had been holding it between finger and thumb, and
admiring it as he talked.
"You will see how rum this is presently," he continued, with his eye
on three fresh rings that were circling upward from his mouth. "We had
been boy and girl together, but when we wanted to be man and wife,
Edie's old father would not let us be engaged, because he knew of my
blackguard ways. He did not give that as his reason. Edie was very
young, a delicate slip of a girl, too, and it must have been a long
engagement in any case. We were to remain friends, however. I think the
dear old boy trusted to his girl to straighten me out first; if she
couldn't, then nobody else could.
"But I was a hopeless case. The country-side rang with my sins long
before I was sent down from Oxford; and went on ringing afterwards,
louder and louder, when I settled in London and was nominally reading
for the bar; but so long as I came down in time for prayers when I was
at home, and went to hear our poor brow-beaten devil on Sundays, my
father stopped his ears and shook his stick at those who tried to tell
him of my misdeeds. I don't think he much cared what I did so long as
he saw the soles of my boots at morning prayers. But my good old friend
in the next parish was different. I can see him now, and the sorrow in
his kind old face, when he forbade me the rectory once and for all. I
felt that, too, and on my way home whom should I meet in the fields but
Edith herself? So I made as clean a breast of everything as one could
to a young girl. Young as she was though, you wouldn't believe how that
girl sympathised and understood; and you won't believe this either,
but her kindness fetched the tears to my eyes. She was a God's angel to
me that summer day. I took her in my arms, little white feather that
she was, and I vowed and vowed that I would keep straight for her sake
even if I never saw her any more. And when I wouldn't touch her with my
foul mouth she raised her pure lips--I can feel them now--and kissed my
cheek of her own accord. She did indeed!"
His voice had become very sad and soft--so soft that I had to bend
forward to catch some of the words--but there was a quiet bitter note
in it that cut to the heart. And as he paused, and went on smoking, the
queer sardonic smile came back to him. His cigar was now one half snowy
ash, the other glossy brown leaf, and as he smoked a little red ring
divided the two. He remarked afresh on the excellence of the ash before
resuming his story in a lighter, louder tone that lasted him almost to
the end.
"Now I'm going to tell you a very singular thing. I made my peace with
the old rector, partly by letter, partly by Edie's intervention, and
at Christmas-time I was to have her if she was still of her old mind;
so at Christmas-time down I came from town with the engagement ring in
my pocket. I knew that the girl would keep true to me through thick
and thin, though I did hope that she had not heard of a certain matter
which had got my name into the papers that autumn. Never mind what it
was. My father had written very violently on the subject, but I had
not heard a word from hers. So I hoped for the best. I was not as yet
a fully reformed character, but I was about to become one. The night
before I left town I never went to bed at all. It was my last orgy; but
I was sober enough in the early morning to go to Covent Garden in my
dress clothes, and to buy flowers to take down to Edie with the ring.
I chose roses, because they were the most expensive at that time of
year; and red ones, because the girl was naturally so pale. Then I had
a sleep in my chambers all the morning, and went down by an afternoon
train.
"It was dark when I landed at the market-town where the dog-cart used
to meet one. I hadn't ordered it this time, because I wasn't going
straight home. I found it freezing down there, and I thought I would
walk out to the rectory through the crisp night air, so as to arrive
there fresh, for by now I felt the effects of the previous night. It
was so very dark, however, that I bought a lantern and made them light
it before I would set out on my three miles' walk. I remember going out
of my way to a shop where I was not known. That market-town was our
nearest one of any size, I had made it too hot to hold me before I was
one-and-twenty, and it hadn't cooled down yet.
"The frost had followed a long spell of dirty weather, and the roads
were fluted ribbons of frozen mud. My footsteps resounded merrily as
I pushed into the darkness, the centre of a moving circle of light
thrown upon the ground by my lantern. I shall never forget that walk.
The box of flowers I carried in one hand, my lantern in the other,
and for all my full hands I must needs keep feeling for the ring in
my pocket, to make sure that I had it safe. And I felt as though my
back was turned forever upon the town, and all that. We would be
married without unnecessary delay, and we would live well outside
London--either in the Thames Valley or among the Surrey Hills, I
thought. At any price we would keep clear of the town; I would go in
as late as possible in the mornings and return quite early in the
afternoon. My old haunts should know me no more. With such a prospect
and so many good resolutions to occupy my mind, the way seemed short
enough, and I was glowing as much from my own thoughts as from the keen
clean air when I swung open the rectory gate and walked briskly up the
well-known drive; my heart was beating mountains high, for the dear old
place had always been infinitely more homelike to me than my own home.
"The house struck me as being poorly lighted, but then I was purposely
taking them by surprise. As I came up to it, my eyes mounted to Edie's
bedroom window, and I was astonished to see it standing wide open to
the bitter air. There was no light in the room either. The front door
was opened by the rector himself. He seemed agitated at the sight of
me; nor would he shake my hand, and I knew, then, that he had seen in
the papers that which I hoped had escaped his notice. With a sinking
heart I asked for Edie. The old man peered at me for a moment; then he
answered that she was gone.
"'Gone away?'
"He nodded.
"'And when?'
"'This morning.'
"'And where to?' I asked, for you must see how disappointed I was.
"'Do not ask me,' he says. 'May God forgive you, for I, His minister,
never can!' he sings out. And with that the door was shut in my face,
and the key turned on the inside.
"God knows how long I remained standing like a fool on the gravel
drive. The gravel must have been very soft before the hard frost which
had set in that afternoon, for the light of my lantern struck down
upon recent wheel-marks frozen stiff and clean. Instinctively I began
to follow them. Edie had gone away, I was on her track. My thoughts
were confused, but that was the drift of them. I followed the frozen
wheel-marks out into the road, and on, on, on; it was not until I was
following them in at the churchyard gate that my confusion fell from
me, and left what soul there was in me naked to the freezing night
air. Still my lantern fell upon the wheel-marks, and my feet followed
them, until the light shone cold upon a narrow mound half hidden with
white flowers. The fresh brown clay was already frozen as hard as the
roads. I spent the night upon it, and should have frozen too, but I had
started to run a hell of my own in my own heart. I'm running it still.
When I crawled away before dawn there were some warm red roses among
the cold white things. I was glad I had them. They're the one part of
it I don't want ever to forget!"
His voice had sunk almost to a whisper, and for all the heat he gave
such a shudder that the long ash was shaken at last from his cigar. I
saw him gazing at the glowing end. All at once a fiery arc ran from
his fingers through the air, and nearly the half of a prime Villar
lay smouldering in the Riverina sun. I watched it meditatively, and
the reed of heavy smoke ascending from it into the breathless air. I
thought of the prostrate penitent upon the frozen grave. I marvelled at
the refining spell which had bound the entire man for the last twenty
minutes, utterly changing him. And I wondered how long that spell would
survive its obvious source.
I wondered for one moment--with the soft, sad, gentlemanly voice still
ringing in my ears--and for one moment only. The next, a bellow at my
side drowned that voice forever; and Hell-fire Jim was himself again,
screaming curses at his dog and his sheep, as one who realised that
his reputation was at stake.
The dog was stretching itself awake in the slumbrous sunshine. The
sheep were scattered down the gully as far as my eyes could see.