"Why do you say it like that?"
"Shall I tell you, old fellow? I'm not quite so keen on having you as
I was a year ago. Stop! I'll tell you why. I didn't realise what it
would be like. I rather fancied I should have a dozen Kenyons, and
that Kenyon at school would be a saint: which was absurd, old fellow.
I thought I should never, never, never lose my temper with you. Absurd
again! We talked, you and I, of what we knew nothing about; _I_ know
something now; and it isn't all skittles and beer, Kenyon. Listen:
there wasn't a fellow in the school I didn't punish time after time.
Punish is a jolly word, isn't it? It would have been nice for us both,
wouldn't it, my punishing you? Kenyon, there were two fellows I had to
swish! You understand? I felt thankful you weren't there. I don't any
longer feel that I want you there. I'd rather some other man kept you
in, Kenyon, and licked you, old fellow, when you needed it." The truth
is, Forrester had long had all this on his mind; as he uttered the last
of it, he almost forgot why he had spoken now, and what Mr. Harwood had
said on the stairs.
Kenyon lay very still, watching the darkling sky split in two by the
window-sashes. He had dreamed of that school so often, he had looked
forward to it so long. It was hard suddenly to stop looking forward,
to have no more happy imaginary school-days from this moment forth;
but if the real ones could never have been so happy, then he should
feel thankful; and in any case there was less immediate necessity to
be up and well, which in itself was a relief. It was sensibly darker,
however, when Kenyon spoke, and once more his tone was a little forced.
"I suppose you're right. I'm glad you've told me this, C. J. I'm not so
keen now, though I _have_ been counting.... I suppose I couldn't even
have called you C. J., eh?"
"No, you'd have had to 'sir' me."
"Indeed, sir! Then I'm thankful I'm not going, sir! There's the gong,
sir, yes, sir, you must go and dress, sir! The governor'll bring you up
with him to say good-night. And to-morrow--I've heaps of things to tell
you to-morrow, C. J. I'll think of 'em all night--sir!"
There were tears on his eyelashes, nevertheless; but the room was now
really dark; his friend could not see.