The following is the correct procedure for a young officer in charge
of an armed party upon meeting--
(a) A Staff Officer riding a bicycle.
_Correct Procedure_.--If marching at attention, order your men to
march at ease and to light cigarettes and eat bananas. Then, having
fixed bayonets, give the order: _Across the road--straggle!_
(b) A funeral.
_Correct Procedure_.--Strike up _Tipperary_, and look the other way.
(c) A General Officer, who strolls across your Barrack Square
precisely at the moment when you and your Platoon have got into mutual
difficulties.
_Correct Procedure_.--Lie down flat upon your face (directing your
platoon to do the same), cover your head with gravel, and pretend you
are not there.