I. Gentlemen entering this Office will please
leave the door wide open.
II. Those having no business will please call
often, remain as long as possible, take a chair,
make themselves comfortable, and gossip with the
Clerks.
III. Gentlemen are requested to smoke, and
expectorate on the floor, especially during
Office Hours; Cigars and Newspapers supplied.
IV. The Money in this Office is not intended for
business purposes--by no means--it is solely to
lend. Please note this.
V. A Supply of Cash is always provided to Cash
Cheques for all comers, and relieve Bank Clerks
of their legitimate duties. Stamped cheque forms
given gratis.
VI. Talk loud and whistle, especially when we
are engaged; if this has not the desired effect,
sing.
VII. The Clerks receive visits from their
friends and their relatives; please don’t
interrupt them with business matters when so
engaged.
VIII. Gentlemen will please examine our letters,
and jot down the Names and Addresses of our
Customers, particularly if they are in the same
profession.
IX. As we are always glad to see old friends, it
will be particularly refreshing to receive visits
and renewal of orders from any former Customer
who has passed through the Bankruptcy Court, and
paid us not more than Sixpence in the Pound. A
WARM welcome may be relied on.
X. Having no occupation for our Office Boy, he
is entirely at the service of callers.
XI. Our Telephone is always at the disposal of
anyone desirous of using it.
XII. The following are kept at this Office for Public Convenience:--
A Stock of Umbrellas (silk), all the Local
Newspapers, Railway Time Tables, and other Guides
and Directories; also a supply of Note Paper,
Envelopes, and Stamps.
XIII. Should you find our principals engaged, do
not hesitate to interrupt them. No business can
possibly be of greater importance than yours.
XIV. If you have the opportunity of overhearing
any conversation, do not hesitate to listen. You
may gain information which may be useful in the
event of disputes arising.
XV. In case you wish to inspect our premises,
kindly do so during wet weather, and carry your
umbrella with you. We admire the effect on
the floor; it gives an air of comfort to the
establishment. (The Umbrella Stand is only for
ornament, and on no account to be used).
_P.S.--Our hours for listening to Commercial Travellers, Beggars,
Hawkers, and Advertising Men are all day. We attend to our Business
at Night only._