“Miss Brown,--You must stop teach my Lizzie fisical torture. She
needs reading and figgers more an that. If I want her to do jumpin
I kin make her jump.”
“Please let Willie home at 3 o’clock. I take him out for a little
pleasure, to see his father’s grave.”
“Dear Teecher,--Please excuse John for staying home--he had the
meesels to oblige his father.”
“Dear Miss----, Please excuse my boy scratching hisself, he’s got a
new flannel shirt on.”
“A country schoolmaster received from a small boy a slip of paper
which was supposed to contain an excuse for the non-attendance
of the boy’s brother. He examined the paper, and saw thereon:
“Kepatomtogoataturing.”
Unable to understand, the small boy explained to the master that his
big brother had been “kept at home to go taturing”--that is, to dig
potatoes.
“Tommy,” said the school teacher, “you must get your father to give
you an excuse the next time you stay away from school.”
“That’s no use, teacher. Dad’s no good at making excuses; mother
bowls him out every time.”