[Illustration]
The plan, successfully inaugurated, and, within the last fortnight, still
more successfully carried out by Sir DRURIOLANUS OPERATICUS BALMASCUS
PANTOMIMICUS, of giving what may be called "unstagey representations" of
popular Operas--that is, popular Operas sung and acted without the aid of
scenes or properties (though "substitutes" may be permitted, as, for
example, a chair with four legs complete would represent a horse, and a
round table a tower); the singers, however, being in costume, may work an
extensive "Transformation" Scene (which is quite in Sir DRURIO'S line) in
the Dramatic and Operatic world, and may effect such a change as will save
thousands to a Manager. Why not go a step further? Why have "costumes," or
even "hand-properties"? Why not leave everything, except the perfection of
the singing and the dramatic action, to the imagination of the audience?
The prices of admission would be proportionately lowered, and the numbers
admitted, in all probability, would be trebled, on which hypothesis a
calculation may be based. What an exercise it would be for the imagination
of the audience, were the Statue Scene from _Don Giovanni_ to be given with
the Basso Profondo in evening dress, who represents the Stony Commendatore,
seated astride a plank resting on tressels placed on a table which would
have been substituted for the stone pedestal, while the Don or _Leporello_
(it doesn't much matter which) sings his asides to the audience! Here is
novelty, and a great attraction! It is returning to Elizabethan days, when
Managers called a spade a spade, and then so labelled it to prevent
mistakes.
* * * * *
SONG FROM "AS YOU LIKE IT" (_for the Member for East Galway, arranged by
Colonel Saunderson, M.P._).--"What shall he have who shot the Deer?"
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A BANK NOTE.--The most likely time for obtaining payment "in hard cash," is
when the Money Market "hardens a little," as was the case, so _The Times_
Money Article informed us, last Friday.
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[Illustration: AN EARLY PURITAN.
_Bobby_ (_who sees his Mamma in Evening Dress for the first time, and
doesn't like it_). "I'LL WRITE AND TELL PAPA!"]
* * * * *
"A STIFF JOB."
_Grand Old Ploughman sings_:--
Speed the Plough! Ah, that's all mighty fine,
And I like the old saying's suggestion;
But--wi' a small crock such as mine,
The _speed_ may be matter o' question.
I've set my hand to 'un, o' course,
And munna look back, there's no doubt o' it:
Yet I wish I'd a handier horse
For the job, or that _I_ were well out o' it!
Stiff clay on a slaantin' hill-side,
Would tax a strong team. Steady, steady!
The little 'un goes a bit wide,
And seems to be shirkin' already.
To keep a straight furrow this go
Will strain the old ploughman's slack muscle;
And yet my new measters, I know,
Will expect I to keep on the bustle.
Stiff job for a little 'un? Yes!
If he doesn't pull straight there'll be bother,
Must make the best of 'un I guess,
This time, for I sha'an't get no other.
Gee up! I shall have a good try,
On that they may bet their last dollar.
It's do, poor old crook, now, or die!
But--I _must_ keep 'un oop to the collar!
* * * * *
"This room is very close!" said Mrs. R., settling herself down to her
knitting, which her nephew had furtively unravelled. "Open the window, TOM,
and let out the asphyxia."
* * * * *
LINES ON THE AUTHOR OF THE
LABOUR BUREAU.
(_By a Labourer._)
'Ooray for Mister MUNDELLA,
(Who's under Old GLADDY'S umbrella.)
For he's a jolly good fella,
And so say all of _hus_!
With a 'ip, 'ip, 'ip, 'ooray!
We hope the Bureau may pay.
Of course it might well have been better,
But then--it might have been _wus_!
* * * * *
EMPHASIS GRATIÂ.--What a difference a slight emphasis makes in an ordinary
sentence! The _D. T._ when giving, in advance, an account of a marriage to
be solemnised the same afternoon, spoke thus concerning the costumes of the
very youthful bridesmaids. "They will wear dresses of very pale blue silk,
made up with ivory-hued lace." Now, had the second word been in italics, it
would have read thus, "They _will_ wear," &c., as if everything had been
done to prevent them from so arraying themselves, "but, in spite of all
efforts, they _will_ wear dresses of very pale blue!" So obstinate of them!
Such nice little ladies, too!
* * * * *
"The Liberal-Unionists have resolved to abstain from pairing during the
present Session." So _The Times_. "Birds in their little nests agree,"
quoth the eminent Dr. WATTS; but these Parliamentary Birds will belie their
name of "Unionists" if they refuse to "pair."
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