“Then you wasn’t crazy a-tall, Jay Bird?”
“I dunno,” says Jay Bird foolish-like.
“I knowed Magpie was,” croaks Muley. “If he wasn’t I was. Which was it?”
“I believed what I heard,” says Ike, “which is a sign of locoism.”
“What in —— was Mighty doin’ there with a billy-goat?”
“Tut-tryin’ to make a sus-sale,” stutters Mighty, “I—I—I lied to my
sister, and when she said she was comin’ to visit me I lost my nerve and
Chuck offered to take care of it for me, and——”
“Chuck!” gasps Jay Bird. “I knowed it! I knowed it!”
“And I made a danged fool of myself!” wails Magpie. “I’m——”
Just then the door opens and Scenery Sims, minus his shirt, a few teeth
and one leg of his pants, staggers into the door. He squints at us, and
then squeaks hoarse-like:
“My ——, what a trip I’ve had! But I lived through it. Now, I’m going to
do my solemn duty. I comes up here to arrest a crazy man, and Scenery
Sims never fails. I’ve gone through —— and high water, but I ain’t never
faltered, gents. It ain’t exactly clear in my mind who it was, but I’ll
leave it to you. Who is the crazy man I came after?”
Scenery leans against the foot of a bunk and makes funny noises deep in
his throat. The assembled company looks around at each other and then
Magpie slowly raises his right hand. Then up goes Muley’s hand. After a
moment Jay Bird and Ike reaches up in solemn oath.
Scenery stares at them hands, and then looks at me. I put up both of
mine. Then Scenery runs his tongue around the inside of his mouth, sort
of feeling of his vacancies, and then looks down at his missing pant-leg
and then at the shirt he ain’t got on.
Then he sways away from the bunk and grabs the door-knob in his left
hand, where he teeters on his heels and stares at us. He spits
disgusted-like, and holds up his right hand. “Gents,” he squeaks, “let’s
make it unanimous. I’ve only got one empty cell, and nobody needs
solitude more than me. _Adios_.”
“Do you think Chuck will ever come back?” asks Magpie.
“If he does he’s crazy as ——!” howls Jay Bird.
“Do you think he will, Henry?” asks Muley.
“Takes brains to think,” says I. “Time alone will tell.”
“I hope it tells the truth,” says Jay Bird.
[Transcriber’s Note: This story appeared in Adventure Magazine,
October 20, 1921. It is believed to be in the public domain in the
United States; copyright status may differ in other countries.]