Little by little the mother-in-law became an ass--vara vara mami
kaludai pol anal, is a proverb among the Tamils, applied to those
who day by day go downwards in their progress in study, position,
or life, and based on the following story:--
In a certain village their lived a Brahman with his wife, mother,
and mother-in-law. He was a very good man, and equally kind to all
of them. His mother complained of nothing at his hands, but his wife
was a very bad-tempered woman, and always troubled her mother-in-law
by keeping her engaged in this work or that throughout the day, and
giving her very little food in the evening. Owing to this the poor
Brahman's mother was almost dying of misery. On the other hand, her
own mother received very kind treatment, of course, at her daughter's
hands, but the husband was so completely ruled by his wife, that he
had no strength of mind to oppose her ill-treatment of his mother.
One evening, just before sunset, the wife abused her mother-in-law with
such fury, that the latter had to fly away to escape a thrashing. Full
of misery she ran out of the village, but the sun had begun to set,
and the darkness of night was fast overtaking her. So finding a ruined
temple she entered it to pass the night there. It happened to be
the abode of the village Kali (goddess), who used to come out every
night at midnight to inspect her village. That night she perceived a
woman--the mother of the poor Brahman--lurking within her prakaras
(boundaries), and being a most benevolent Kali, called out to her,
and asked her what made her so miserable that she should leave her
home on such a dark night. The Brahmani told her story in a few
words, and while she was speaking the cunning goddess was using her
supernatural powers to see whether all she said was true or not, and
finding it to be the truth, she thus replied in very soothing tones:--
"I pity your misery, mother, because your daughter-in-law troubles
and vexes you thus when you have become old, and have no strength
in your body. Now take this mango," and taking a ripe one from out
her waist-band, she gave it to the old Brahmani with a smiling
face--"eat it, and you will soon become a young woman like your
own daughter-in-law, and then she shall no longer trouble you." Thus
consoling the afflicted old woman, the kind-hearted Kali went away. The
Brahmani lingered for the remainder of the night in the temple, and
being a fond mother she did not like to eat the whole of the mango
without giving a portion of it to her son.
Meanwhile, when her son returned home in the evening he found his
mother absent, but his wife explained the matter to him, so as to throw
the blame on the old woman, as she always did. As it was dark he had no
chance of going out to search for her, so he waited for the daylight,
and as soon as he saw the dawn, started to look for his mother. He
had not walked far when to his joy he found her in the temple of Kali.
"How did you pass the cold night, my dearest mother?" said he. "What
did you have for dinner? Wretch that I am to have got myself married
to a cur. Forget all her faults, and return home."
His mother shed tears of joy and sorrow, and related her previous
night's adventure, upon which he said:--
"Delay not even one nimisha (minute), but eat this fruit at once. I
do not want any of it. Only if you become young and strong enough to
stand that nasty cur's troubles, well and good."
So the mother ate up the divine fruit, and the son took her upon his
shoulders and brought her home, on reaching which he placed her on the
ground, when to his joy she was no longer an old woman, but a young
girl of sixteen, and stronger than his own wife. The troublesome
wife was now totally put down, and was powerless against so strong
a mother-in-law.
She did not at all like the change, and having to give up her habits
of bullying, and so she argued to herself thus:--
"This jade of a mother-in-law became young through the fruit of the
Kali, why should not my mother also do the same, if I instruct her
and send her to the same temple."
So she instructed her mother as to the story she ought to give to
the goddess and sent her there. Her old mother, agreeably to her
daughter's injunctions, went to the temple, and on meeting with the
goddess at midnight, gave a false story that she was being greatly
ill-treated by her daughter-in-law, though, in truth, she had nothing
of the kind to complain of. The goddess perceived the lie through her
divine powers, but pretending to pity her, gave her also a fruit. Her
daughter had instructed her not to eat it till next morning, and till
she saw her son-in-law.
As soon as morning approached, the poor hen-pecked Brahman was ordered
by his wife to go to the temple and fetch his mother-in-law, as he
had some time back fetched away his mother. He accordingly went, and
invited her to come home. She wanted him to eat part of the fruit, as
she had been instructed, but he refused, and so she swallowed it all,
fully expecting to become young again on reaching home. Meanwhile her
son-in-law took her on his shoulders and returned home, expecting,
as his former experience had taught him, to see his mother-in-law
also turn into a young woman. Anxiety to see how the change came on
over-came him, and half way he turned his head, and found such part
of the burden on his shoulders as he could see, to be like parts of an
ass, but he took this to be a mere preliminary stage towards youthful
womanhood! Again he turned, and again he saw the same thing several
times, and the more he looked the more his burden became like an ass,
till at last when he reached home, his burden jumped down braying
like an ass and ran away.
Thus the Kali, perceiving the evil intentions of the wife, disappointed
her by turning her mother into an ass, but no one knew of it till
she actually jumped down from the shoulders of her son-in-law.
This story is always cited as the explanation of the proverb
quoted above--vara vara mami kaludai pol anal--little by little
the mother-in-law became an ass, to which is also commonly added ur
varumbodu ulaiyida talaippattal--and as she approached the village,
she began to bray.