f(1) Nature had divided the Piraeus into three basins--
Cantharos, Aphrodisium and Zea. (Cantharos) is Greek for
dung-beetle.
LITTLE DAUGHTER Take care not to knock against anything and so fall off
into space; once a cripple, you would be a fit subject for Euripides,
who would put you into a tragedy.(1)
f(1) In allusion to Euripides' fondness for introducing lame
heroes in his plays.
TRYGAEUS I'll see to it. Good-bye! (TO THE ATHENIANS.) You, for love of
whom I brave these dangers, do ye neither let wind nor go to stool
for the space of three days, for, if, while cleaving the air, my steed
should scent anything, he would fling me head foremost from the summit
of my hopes. Now come, my Pegasus, get a-going with up-pricked ears and
make your golden bridle resound gaily. Eh! what are you doing? What are
you up to? Do you turn your nose towards the cesspools? Come, pluck up
a spirit; rush upwards from the earth, stretch out your speedy wings and
make straight for the palace of Zeus; for once give up foraging in your
daily food.--Hi! you down there, what are you after now? Oh! my god!
'tis a man emptying his belly in the Piraeus, close to the house where
the bad girls are. But is it my death you seek then, my death? Will
you not bury that right away and pile a great heap of earth upon it and
plant wild thyme therein and pour perfumes on it? If I were to fall from
up here and misfortune happened to me, the town of Chios(1) would owe a
fine of five talents for my death, all along of your cursed rump. Alas!
how frightened I am! oh! I have no heart for jests. Ah! machinist, take
great care of me. There is already a wind whirling round my navel; take
great care or, from sheer fright, I shall form food for my beetle....
But I think I am no longer far from the gods; aye, that is the dwelling
of Zeus, I perceive. Hullo! Hi! where is the doorkeeper? Will no one
open?
f(1) An allusion to the proverbial nickname applied to the
Chians (in Greek)--'crapping Chian.' There is a further
joke, of course, in connection with the hundred and one
frivolous pretexts which the Athenians invented for exacting
contributions from the maritime allies.
(THE SCENE CHANGES AND HEAVEN IS PRESENTED.)
HERMES Meseems I can sniff a man. (HE PERCEIVES TRYGAEUS ASTRIDE HIS
BEETLE.) Why, what plague is this?
TRYGAEUS A horse-beetle.
HERMES Oh! impudent, shameless rascal! oh! scoundrel! triple scoundrel!
the greatest scoundrel in the world! how did you come here? Oh!
scoundrel of all scoundrels! your name? Reply.
TRYGAEUS Triple scoundrel.
HERMES Your country?
TRYGAEUS Triple scoundrel.
HERMES Your father?
TRYGAEUS My father? Triple scoundrel.
HERMES By the Earth, you shall die, unless you tell me your name.
TRYGAEUS I am Trygaeus of the Athmonian deme, a good vine-dresser,
little addicted to quibbling and not at all an informer.
HERMES Why do you come?
TRYGAEUS I come to bring you this meat.
HERMES Ah! my good friend, did you have a good journey?
TRYGAEUS Glutton, be off! I no longer seem a triple scoundrel to you.
Come, call Zeus.
HERMES Ah! ah! you are a long way yet from reaching the gods, for they
moved yesterday.
TRYGAEUS To what part of the earth?
HERMES Eh! of the earth, did you say?
TRYGAEUS In short, where are they then?
HERMES Very far, very far, right at the furthest end of the dome of
heaven.
TRYGAEUS But why have they left you all alone here?
HERMES I am watching what remains of the furniture, the little pots and
pans, the bits of chairs and tables, and odd wine-jars.
TRYGAEUS And why have the gods moved away?
HERMES Because of their wrath against the Greeks. They have located War
in the house they occupied themselves and have given him full power to
do with you exactly as he pleases; then they went as high up as ever
they could, so as to see no more of your fights and to hear no more of
your prayers.
TRYGAEUS What reason have they for treating us so?
HERMES Because they have afforded you an opportunity for peace more than
once, but you have always preferred war. If the Laconians got the very
slightest advantage, they would exclaim, "By the Twin Brethren! the
Athenians shall smart for this." If, on the contrary, the latter
triumphed and the Laconians came with peace proposals, you would say,
"By Demeter, they want to deceive us. No, by Zeus, we will not hear a
word; they will always be coming as long as we hold Pylos."(1)
f(1) Masters of Pylos and Sphacteria, the Athenians had
brought home the three hundred prisoners taken in the latter
place in 425 B.C.; the Spartans had several times sent
envoys to offer peace and to demand back both Pylos and the
prisoners, but the Athenian pride had caused these proposals
to be long refused. Finally the prisoners had been given up
in 423 B.C., but the War was continued nevertheless.
TRYGAEUS Yes, that is quite the style our folk do talk in.
HERMES So that I don't know whether you will ever see Peace again.
TRYGAEUS Why, where has she gone to then?
HERMES War has cast her into a deep pit.
TRYGAEUS Where?
HERMES Down there, at the very bottom. And you see what heaps of stones
he has piled over the top, so that you should never pull her out again.
TRYGAEUS Tell me, what is War preparing against us?
HERMES All I know is that last evening he brought along a huge mortar.
TRYGAEUS And what is he going to do with his mortar?
HERMES He wants to pound up all the cities of Greece in it.... But I
must say good-bye, for I think he is coming out; what an uproar he is
making!
TRYGAEUS Ah! great gods! let us seek safety; meseems I already hear the
noise of this fearful war mortar.
WAR (ENTERS, CARRYING A HUGE MORTAR) Oh! mortals, mortals, wretched
mortals, how your jaws will snap!
TRYGAEUS Oh! divine Apollo! what a prodigious big mortar! Oh, what
misery the very sight of War causes me! This then is the foe from whom I
fly, who is so cruel, so formidable, so stalwart, so solid on his legs!
WAR Oh! Prasiae!(1) thrice wretched, five times, aye, a thousand times
wretched! for thou shalt be destroyed this day.
f(1) An important town in Eastern Laconia on the Argolic
gulf, celebrated for a temple where a festival was held
annually in honour of Achilles. It had been taken and
pillaged by the Athenians in the second year of the
Peloponnesian War, 430 B.C. As he utters this imprecation,
War throws some leeks, the root-word of the name Praisae,
into his mortar.
TRYGAEUS This does not concern us over much; 'tis only so much the worse
for the Laconians.
WAR Oh! Megara! Megara! how utterly are you going to be ground up! what
fine mincemeat(1) are you to be made into!
f(1) War throws some garlic into his mortar as emblematical
of the city of Megara, where it was grown in abundance.
TRYGAEUS Alas! alas! what bitter tears there will be among the
Megarians!(1)
f(1) Because the smell of bruised garlic causes the eyes to
water.
WAR Oh, Sicily! you too must perish! Your wretched towns shall be
grated like this cheese.(1) Now let us pour some Attic honey(2) into the
mortar.
f(1) He throws cheese into the mortar as emblematical of
Sicily, on account of its rich pastures.
f(2) Emblematical of Athens. They honey of Mount Hymettus
was famous.
TRYGAEUS Oh! I beseech you! use some other honey; this kind is worth
four obols; be careful, oh! be careful of our Attic honey.
WAR Hi! Tumult, you slave there!
TUMULT What do you want?
WAR Out upon you! Standing there with folded arms! Take this cuff o' the
head for your pains.
TUMULT Oh! how it stings! Master, have you got garlic in your fist, I
wonder?
WAR Run and fetch me a pestle.
TUMULT But we haven't got one; 'twas only yesterday we moved.
WAR Go and fetch me one from Athens, and hurry, hurry!
TUMULT Aye, I hasten there; if I return without one, I shall have no
cause for laughing. (EXIT.)
TRYGAEUS Ah! what is to become of us, wretched mortals that we are? See
the danger that threatens if he returns with the pestle, for War will
quietly amuse himself with pounding all the towns of Hellas to pieces.
Ah! Bacchus! cause this herald of evil to perish on his road!
WAR Well?
TUMULT (WHO HAS RETURNED) Well, what?
WAR You have brought back nothing?
TUMULT Alas! the Athenians have lost their pestle--the tanner, who
ground Greece to powder.(1)
f(1) Cleon, who had lately fallen before Amphipolis, in 422
B.C.
TRYGAEUS Oh! Athene, venerable mistress! 'tis well for our city he is
dead, and before he could serve us with this hash.
WAR Then go and seek one at Sparta and have done with it!
TUMULT Aye, aye, master!
WAR Be back as quick as ever you can.
TRYGAEUS (TO THE AUDIENCE) What is going to happen, friends? 'Tis the
critical hour. Ah! if there is some initiate of Samothrace(1) among you,
'tis surely the moment to wish this messenger some accident--some sprain
or strain.
f(1) An island in the Aegean Sea, on the coast of Thrace and
opposite the mouth of the Hebrus; the Mysteries are said to
have found their first home in this island, where the
Cabirian gods were worshipped; this cult, shrouded in deep
mystery to even the initiates themselves, has remained an
almost insoluble problem for the modern critic. It was said
that the wishes of the initiates were always granted, and
they were feared as to-day the 'jettatori' (spell-throwers,
casters of the evil eye) in Sicily are feared.
TUMULT (WHO RETURNS) Alas! alas! thrice again, alas!
WAR What is it? Again you come back without it?
TUMULT The Spartans too have lost their pestle.
WAR How, varlet?
TUMULT They had lent it to their allies in Thrace,(1) who have lost it
for them.
f(1) Brasidas perished in Thrace in the same battle as Cleon
at Amphipolis, 422 B.C.
TRYGAEUS Long life to you, Thracians! My hopes revive, pluck up courage,
mortals!
WAR Take all this stuff away; I am going in to make a pestle for myself.
TRYGAEUS 'Tis now the time to sing as Datis did, as he abused himself
at high noon, "Oh pleasure! oh enjoyment! oh delights!" 'Tis now, oh
Greeks! the moment when freed of quarrels and fighting, we should rescue
sweet Peace and draw her out of this pit, before some other pestle
prevents us. Come, labourers, merchants, workmen, artisans, strangers,
whether you be domiciled or not, islanders, come here, Greeks of all
countries, come hurrying here with picks and levers and ropes! 'Tis the
moment to drain a cup in honour of the Good Genius.
CHORUS Come hither all! quick, hasten to the rescue! All peoples of
Greece, now is the time or never, for you to help each other. You see
yourselves freed from battles and all their horrors of bloodshed. The
day, hateful to Lamachus(1), has come. Come then, what must be done?
Give your orders, direct us, for I swear to work this day without
ceasing, until with the help of our levers and our engines we have drawn
back into light the greatest of all goddesses, her to whom the olive is
so dear.
f(1) An Athenian general as ambitious as he was brave. In
423 B.C. he had failed in an enterprise against Heracles, a
storm having destroyed his fleet. Since then he had
distingued himself in several actions, and was destined,
some years later, to share the command of the expedition to
Sicily with Alcibiades and Nicias.
TRYGAEUS Silence! if War should hear your shouts of joy he would bound
forth from his retreat in fury.
CHORUS Such a decree overwhelms us with joy; how different to the edict,
which bade us muster with provisions for three days.(1)
f(1) Meaning, to start a military expedition.
TRYGAEUS Let us beware lest the cursed Cerberus(1) prevent us even from
the nethermost hell from delivering the goddess by his furious howling,
just as he did when on earth.
f(1) Cleon.
CHORUS Once we have hold of her, none in the world will be able to take
her from us. Huzza! huzza!(1)
f(1) The Chorus insist on the conventional choric dance.
TRYGAEUS You will work my death if you don't subdue your shouts. War
will come running out and trample everything beneath his feet.
CHORUS Well then! LET him confound, let him trample, let him overturn
everything! We cannot help giving vent to our joy.
TRYGAEUS Oh! cruel fate! My friends! in the name of the gods,
what possesses you? Your dancing will wreck the success of a fine
undertaking.
CHORUS 'Tis not I who want to dance; 'tis my legs that bound with
delight.
TRYGAEUS Enough, an you love me, cease your gambols.
CHORUS There! 'Tis over.
TRYGAEUS You say so, and nevertheless you go on.
CHORUS Yet one more figure and 'tis done.
TRYGAEUS Well, just this one; then you must dance no more.
CHORUS No, no more dancing, if we can help you.
TRYGAEUS But look, you are not stopping even now.
CHORUS By Zeus, I am only throwing up my right leg, that's all.
TRYGAEUS Come, I grant you that, but pray, annoy me no further.
CHORUS Ah! the left leg too will have its fling; well, 'tis but its
right. I am so happy, so delighted at not having to carry my buckler
any more. I sing and I laugh more than if I had cast my old age, as a
serpent does its skin.
TRYGAEUS No, 'tis not time for joy yet, for you are not sure of success.
But when you have got the goddess, then rejoice, shout and laugh;
thenceforward you will be able to sail or stay at home, to make love or
sleep, to attend festivals and processions, to play at cottabos,(1) live
like true Sybarites and to shout, Io, io!
f(1) One of the most favourite games with the Greeks. A
stick was set upright in the ground and to this the beam of
a balance was attached by its centre. Two vessels were hung
from the extremities of the beam so as to balance; beneath
these two other and larger dishes were placed and filled
with water, and in the middle of each a brazen figure,
called Manes, was stood. The game consisted in throwing
drops of wine from an agreed distance into one or the other
vessel, so that, dragged downwards by the weight of the
liquor, it bumped against Manes.
CHORUS Ah! God grant we may see the blessed day. I have suffered so
much; have so oft slept with Phormio(1) on hard beds. You will no longer
find me an acid, angry, hard judge as heretofore, but will find me
turned indulgent and grown younger by twenty years through happiness. We
have been killing ourselves long enough, tiring ourselves out with going
to the Lyceum(2) and returning laden with spear and buckler.--But what
can we do to please you? Come, speak; for 'tis a good Fate that has
named you our leader.
f(1) A general of austere habits; he disposed of all his
property to pay the cost of a naval expedition, in which he
beat the fleet of the foe off the promontory of Rhium in 429
B.C.
f(2) The Lyceum was a portico ornamented with paintings and
surrounded with gardens, in which military exercises took
place.
TRYGAEUS How shall we set about removing these stones?
HERMES Rash reprobate, what do you propose doing?