He fought and threshed the lilies, and they gave him cool, velvety

kisses in return. He dived and came up through them; and then, staring

upward, he saw the tall, purple spikes against the stars. And they

were drifting--they were sailing seaward to their death. He couldn't

see the boat now for the shadowy hosts; and for the first time fear

glutted his heart. It came as a paroxysm of new sensation--Tedge of

the _Marie Louise_ who had never feared.

But this was different, this soft and moving web of silence. No, not

quite silence, for past his ear the splendid hyacinths drifted with a

musical creaking, leaf on leaf, the buoyant bulbs brushing each other.

The islets joined and parted; once he saw open water and plunged for

it--and over his shoulders there surged a soft coverlet. He turned and

beat it; he churned his bed into a furious welter, and the silken

curtain lowered.

He shrank from it now, staring. The feathery roots matted across his

chest, the mass of them felt slimy like the hide of a drowned brute.

"Drownin' cows"--he muttered thickly--"comin' on a man driftin' and

drownin'--no, no! Lilies, jest lilies--damn 'em!"

The tall spiked flowers seemed nodding--yes, just lilies, drifting and

singing elfin music to the sea tide. Tedge roared once again his

hatred of them; he raised and battered his huge fists into their

beauty, and they seemed to smile in the starlight. Then, with a howl,

he dived.

He would beat them--deep water was here in the pass, and he would swim

mightily far beneath the trailing roots--he would find the man with

the boat yet and hurl him to die in the hyacinth bloom.

He opened his eyes in the deep, clear water and exulted. He, Tedge,

had outwitted the bannered argosies. With bursting lungs he charged

off across the current, thinking swiftly, coolly, now of the escape.

And as he neared the surface he twisted to glance upward. It was light

there--a light brighter than the stars, but softer, evanescent. Mullet

and squib were darting about or clinging to a feathery forest that

hung straight down upon him. Far and near there came little darts of

pale fire, gleaming and expiring with each stir in the phosphorescent

water.

And he had to rise; a man could not hold the torturing air in his

lungs for ever. Yes, he would tear a path to the stars again and

breathe. His arms flailed into the first tenuous streamers, which

parted in pearly lace before his eyes. He breasted higher, and they

were all about him now; his struggles evoked glowing bubble-jewels

which drifted upward to expire. He grasped the soft roots and twisted

and sought to raise himself. He had a hand to the surface bulbs, but a

silken mesh seemed tightening about him.

And it was drifting--everything was drifting in the deep pass of Au

Fer. He tried to howl in the hyacinth web, and choked--and then he

merely fought in his close-pressing cocoon, thrusting one hard fist to

grasp the broad leaves. He clung to them dumbly, his face so close to

the surface that the tall spiked flowers smiled down--but they drifted

inexorably with a faint, creaking music, leaf on leaf.

Tedge opened his eyes to a flicker of myriad lights. The sound was a

roaring now--like the surf on the reefs in the hurricane month; or the

thunder of maddened steers above him across this flowery sea meadow.

Perhaps the man he had killed rode with this stampede? Tedge shrank

under the lilies--perhaps they could protect him now? Even the last

stroke of his hands made luminous beauty of the under-running tide.

An outward-bound shrimp lugger saw the figures on Au Fer reef and came

to anchor beyond the shoals. The Cajan crew rowed up to where Milt

Rogers and Crump and the black deckhand were watching by a pool. The

shrimpers listened to the cowman, who had tied the sleeve of his shirt

about his bloody head.

"You can get a barge down from Morgan City and take the cows off

before the sea comes high," said Rogers quietly. "They're eating the

lilies--and they find sweet water in 'em. Worlds o' lilies driftin' to

sea with sweet water in the bulbs!" And he added, watching Crump and

the black man who seemed in terror of him: "I want to get off, too. I

want to see the swamp country where worlds o' flowers come from!"

He said no more. He did not even look in the pool where Crump pointed.

He was thinking of that girl of the swamps who had bid him come to

her. But all along the white surf line he could see the

green-and-purple plumes of the hyacinth warriors tossing in the

breeze--legion upon legion, coming to die gloriously on Au Fer's

sands.

But first they sent a herald; for in Tedge's hand, as he lay in the

pool, one waxen-leafed banner with a purple spear-point glittered in

the sun.

THE URGE

By MARYLAND ALLEN

From _Everybody's_

She is now a woman ageless because she is famous. She is surrounded by

a swarm of lovers and possesses a great many beautiful things. She has

more than one Ming jar in the library at her country place; yards upon

yards of point de Venise in her top bureau-drawer. She is able to

employ a very pleasant, wholesome woman, whose sole duty it is to keep

her clothes in order.

She wears superb clothes--the last word in richness and the elegance

of perfection--clothes that no man can declaim over, stimulating

himself the while with shot after shot of that most insidious of all

dope, self-pity. You see, she earns them all herself, along with the

Ming jars, the point de Venise, the country place, and countless other

things. She is the funniest woman in the world--not in her

press-agent's imagination, but in cold, sober fact. She can make

anybody laugh; she does make everybody.

Night after night in the huge public theatres of the common people; in

the small private ones of the commoner rich; in Greek amphitheatres

where the laughter rolls away in thunderous waves to be echoed back by

distant blue hills; in institutions for the blind; in convalescent

wards; everywhere, every time, she makes them laugh. The day labourer,

sodden and desperate from too much class legislation, the ego in his

cosmos and the struggle for existence; the statesman, fearful of

losing votes, rendered blue and depressed by the unruliness of nations

and all the vast multitude of horrors that lie in between--all of

these, all of them, she makes laugh. She is queen of the profession

she has chosen--unusual for one of her sex. She is the funniest woman

in the world.

When she is at home--which is seldom--she has many visitors and

strives, if possible, to see none of them.

"You know, I entertain so much," she pleads in that vivid, whimsical

way of hers that holds as much of sadness as mirth.

But this time, it being so early in the afternoon, she was caught

unawares.

The girls--they were nothing but girls, three of them--found her out

upon the lawn, sitting on a seat where the velvety green turf fell

away in a steep hillside, and far beneath them they could see the

river moving whitely beyond the trees. They halted there before her,

happy but trembling, giggling but grave. They were gasping and

incoherent, full of apologies and absurd tremors. It had taken their

combined week's savings to bribe the gardener. And they only wanted to

know one thing: How had she achieved all this fame and splendour, by

what magic process had she become that rarest of all living creatures,

the funniest woman in the world?

It was an easy enough question to ask and, to them, hovering

twittering upon high heels a trifle worn to one side, a simple one for

her to answer. She looked at them in that humorous, kindly way of

hers, looked at their silly, excited, made-up faces with noses

sticking out stark, like handles, from a too-heavy application of

purplish-white powder. Then her glance travelled down the velvety

green slope to the bright river glancing and leaping beyond the shady

trees.

Did she think of that other girl? Sitting there with that strange

smile upon her face, the smile that is neither mirth nor sadness, but

a poignant, haunting compound of both, did she remember her and the

Urge that had always been upon her, racking her like actual pain,

driving her with a whip of scorpions, flaying her on and on with a far

more vivid sense of suffering than the actual beatings laid on by her

mother's heavy hand, the thing that found articulation in the words,

"I must be famous, I must!"

She belonged in the rear of a batch of a dozen, and had never been

properly named. The wind was blowing from the stockyards on the dark

hour when she arrived. It penetrated even to the small airless chamber

where she struggled for her first breath--one of a "flat" in the

poorest tenement in the worst slum in Chicago. Huddled in smelly rags

by a hastily summoned neighbour from the floor above, the newcomer

raised her untried voice in a frail, reedy cry. Perhaps she did not

like the smell that oozed in around the tightly closed window to

combat the foul odours of the airless room. Whatever it was, this

protest availed her nothing, for the neighbour hurriedly departed,

having been unwilling from the first, and the mother turned away and

lay close against the stained, discoloured wall, too apathetic, too

utterly resigned to the fate life had meted out to her to accord this

most unwelcome baby further attention. This first moment of her life

might easily serve as the history of her babyhood.

Her father was also indifferent. He brought home his money and gave it

to his wife--children were strictly none of his business. Her brothers

and sisters, each one busily and fiercely fending for himself, gave no

attention to her small affairs.

Tossed by the careless hand of Fate into the dark sea of life to swim

or perish, she awoke to consciousness with but one thought--food; one

ruling passion--to get enough. And since, in her habitual half-starved

state, all food looked superlatively good to her, cake was the first

word she learned to speak. It formed her whole vocabulary for a

surprisingly long time, and Cake was the only name she was ever known

by in her family circle and on the street that to her ran on and on

and on as narrow and dirty, as crowded and as cruel as where it passed

the great dilapidated old rookery that held the four dark rooms that

she called home.

Up to the age of ten her life was sketchy. A passionate scramble for

food, beatings, tears, slumber, a swift transition from one childish

ailment to another that kept her forever out of reach of the truant

officer.

She lay upon the floor in a little dark room, and through the window

in the airless air-shaft, high up in one corner, she could see a

three-cornered spot of light. At first she wondered what it was, since

she lived in a tenement, not under the sky. Then it resolved itself

into a ball, white and luminous, that floated remote in that high

place and seemed to draw her, and was somehow akin to the queer,

gnawing pain that developed about that time beneath her breastbone. It

was all inarticulate, queer and confused. She did not think, she did

not know how. She only felt that queer gnawing beneath her breastbone,

distinct from all her other pains, and which she ascribed to hunger,

and saw the lovely, trembling globe of light. At first she felt it

only when she was ill and lay on the tumbled floor bed and looked up

through the dark window; afterward always in her dreams.

After she passed her tenth birthday the confusion within her seemed to

settle as the queer pain increased, and she began to think, to wonder

what it could be.

A year or two later her father died, and as she was the only child

over whom her mother could exercise any control, the report of her

death was successfully impressed upon the truant officer, so that she

might be put to work unhindered to help the family in its desperate

scramble for food, a scramble in which she took part with vivid

earnestness. She was hired to Maverick's to wash dishes.

Maverick was a Greek and kept an open-all-night chop-house, a mean

hole in the wall two doors from the corner, where Cake's surpassing

thinness made her invaluable at the sink. Also the scraps she carried

home in her red, water-puckered hands helped out materially. Then her

mother took a boarder and rested in her endeavours, feeling she had

performed all things well.

This boarder was a man with a past. And he had left it pretty far

behind, else he had never rented a room and meals from the mother of

Cake. In this boarder drink and debauchery had completely beaten out

of shape what had once been a very noble figure of a man. His body was

shrunken and trembling; the old, ragged clothes he wore flapped about

him like the vestments of a scarecrow. His cheeks had the bruised

congested look of the habitual drinker, his nose seemed a toadstool on

his face, and his red eyes were almost vanished behind puffy, purple,

pillow-like lids. His voice was husky and whispering, except when he

raised it. Then it was surprisingly resonant and mellow, with

something haunting in it like the echo of an echo of a very moving

sweetness.

One night Cake, returning all weary and played-out from dish-washing

at Maverick's, heard him speaking in this loud voice of his, pushed

the door open a crack, and peeked in. He was standing in the middle of

the floor evidently speaking what the child called to herself "a

piece." Her big mouth crooked derisively in the beginning of what is

now her famous smile. The lodger went on speaking, being fairly well

stimulated at the time, and presently Cake pushed the door wider and

crept in to the dry-goods box, where her mother always kept a candle,

and sat down.

The lodger talked on and on while Cake sat rapt, the flickering candle

in her hands throwing strange lights and shadows upon her gaunt face.

How was she to know she was the last audience of one of the greatest

Shakespearian actors the world had ever seen?

It was a grave and wondering Cake that crept to her place to sleep

that night between her two older sisters. And while they ramped

against her and chewed and snorted in her ears, she listened all over

again to that wonderful voice and was awed by the colour and beauty of

the words that it had spoken. She slept, and saw before her the globe

of light, trembling and luminous, the one bright thing of beauty her

life had ever known, that seemed to draw her up from darkness slowly

and with great suffering. Trembling and weeping she awoke in the dawn,

and the strange pain that had tortured her so much and that she had

called hunger and sought to assuage with scraps from the plates that

came to the sink at Maverick's became articulate at last. With her

hands clasped hard against her breast she found relief in words.

"I gotta be somebody," sobbed the child. "I mus' be famous, I mus'!"

She arose to find life no longer a confused struggle for food, but a

battle and a march; a battle to get through one day to march on to the

next, and so on and on until, in that long line of days that stretched

out ahead of her like chambers waiting to be visited, she reached the

one where rested Fame, that trembling, luminous globe of beauty it was

so vitally necessary for her to achieve. "How come he c'n talk like

that?" she demanded of herself, musing on the lodger's wonderful

exhibition over the greasy dish-water at Maverick's.

And that night she asked him, prefacing her question with the offering

of an almost perfect lamb-chop. Only one piece had been cut from it

since the purchaser, at that moment apprised by Maverick himself that

the arrival of the police was imminent, had taken a hasty departure.

"Who learned you to talk that-a-way?" demanded Cake, licking a faint,

far-away flavour of the chop from her long, thin fingers.

The lodger, for a moment, had changed places with the candle. That is

to say, he sat upon the dry-goods box, the candle burned upon the

floor. And, having been most unfortunate that day, the lodger was

tragically sober. He bit into the chop voraciously, like a dog, with

his broken, discoloured teeth.

"A book 'learned' me," he said, "and practice and experience--and

something else." He broke off short. "They called it genius then," he

said bitterly.

Cake took a short step forward. That thing beneath her prominent

breastbone pained her violently, forced her on to speak.

"You learn me," she said.

The lodger ceased to chew and stared, the chop bone uplifted in his

dirty hand. A pupil for him!

"You want to do this perhaps," he began. "Pray do not mock me; I am a

very foolish, fond old man----"

The disreputable, swollen-faced lodger with a nose like a poisoned

toadstool vanished. Cake saw an old white-haired man, crazy and

pitiful, yet bearing himself grandly. She gasped, the tears flew to

her eyes, blinding her. The lodger laughed disagreeably, he was

gnawing on the chop bone again.

"I suppose you think because you've found me here it is likely I'll

teach you--you! You starved alley cat!" he snarled.

Cake did not even blink. It is repetition that dulls, and she was

utterly familiar with abuse.

"And suppose I did--'learn' you," he sneered, "what would _you_ do

with it?"

"I would be famous," cried Cake.

Then the lodger did laugh, looking at her with his head hanging down,

his swollen face all creased and purple, his hair sticking up rough

and unkempt. He laughed, sitting there a degraded, debauched ruin,

looking down from the height of his memories upon the gaunt, unlovely

child of the slums who was rendered even more unlovely by the very

courage that kept her waiting beside the broken door.

"So you think I could learn you to be famous, hey?" Even the words of

this gutter filth he sought to construe into something nattering to

himself.

Cake nodded. Really she had not thought of it that way at all. There

was no thinking connected with her decision. The dumb hours she had

spent staring up the air-shaft had resolved themselves with the

passing years into a strange, numb will to do. There was the light and

she must reach it. Indeed the Thing there behind the narrow walls of

her chest gave her no alternative. She did not think she wanted to be

an actress. It was a long time after that before she knew even what an

actress was. She did not know what the lodger had been. No.

Instinctively, groping and inarticulate, she recognized in him the

rags and shreds of greatness, knew him to be a one-time dweller in

that temple whither, willing or not, she was bound, to reach it or to

die.

The lodger looked down at the naked chop bone in his hand. The juicy,

broiled meat was comforting to his outraged stomach. Meat. The word

stood out in his mind to be instantly followed by that other word

that, for him, had spelled ruin, made him a ragged panhandler, reduced

him to living among the poorest and most hopeless. Drink! He raised

his head and eyed Cake with crafty calculation.

"What will you pay me for such teaching?" he demanded, and looked down

again at the bone.

What he did in the end, Cake herself was satisfied came to him

afterward. At first he was actuated only by the desire to procure food

and drink--more especially the drink--at the cost of the least

possible effort to himself.

Cake saw the look, and she knew. She even smiled a little in the

greatness of her relief. She saw she had been right to bring the chop,

and appreciated that her progress along road to fame would be as slow

or fast as she could procure food for him in lesser or larger

quantities.

"I'll bring you eats," she said cunningly. "From Maverick's," she

added. By which she meant the eats would be "has-is"--distinctly

second class, quite possibly third.

The lodger nodded. "And booze," he put in, watching her face.

"And booze," Cake assented.

So the bargain was struck in a way that worked the most cruel hardship

on the girl. Food she could steal and did, blithely enough, since she

had no monitor but the lure of brightness and that Thing within her

breast that hotly justified the theft and only urged her on. But booze

was a very different proposition. It was impossible to steal

booze--even a little. To secure booze she was forced to offer money.

Now what money Cake earned at Maverick's her mother snatched from her

hand before she was well within the door. If she held out even a dime,

she got a beating. And Cake's mother, in the later years of her life,

besides being a clever evader of the police and the truant officer,

developed into a beater of parts. Broken food the child offered in

abundance and piteous hope. But the lodger was brutally indifferent.

"Food," he scoffed. "Why, it says in the Bible--you never heard of the

Bible, hey?" Cake shook her tangled head.

"No? Well, it's quite a Book," commented the lodger. He had been

fortunate that day and was, for him, fairly intoxicated. "And it says

right in there--and some consider that Book an authority--man cannot

live by food alone. Drink--I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes

when I have no occasion--Don't you know what drink is, alley-cat? Very

well, then, wine is wont to show the mind of man, and you won't see

mine until you bring me booze. Get out!"

And Cake got out. Also, being well versed in a very horrid wisdom, she

took the food with her. This was hardly what the lodger had expected,

and I think what respect he was capable of sprouted for her then.

Behind a screen of barrels in the corner of the alley Cake ate the

broken meats herself, taking what comfort she could, and pondering the

while the awful problem of securing the booze, since she must be

taught, and since the lodger moved in her sphere as the only available

teacher.

There was a rush up the alley past her hiding-place, a shout, and the

savage thud of blows. Very cautiously, as became one wise in the ways

of life in that place, Cake peered around a barrel. She saw Red Dan,

who sold papers in front of Jeer Dooley's place, thoroughly punishing

another and much larger boy. The bigger boy was crying.

"Anybody c'n sell pipers," shouted Red Dan, pounding the information

home bloodily. "You hear me?--anybody!"

Cake crept out of her hiding-place on the opposite side.

She did not care what happened to the bigger boy, though she respected

Red Dan the more. She knew where the money was going to come from to

buy the lodger's booze. It meant longer hours for her; it meant care

to work only out of school hours; it meant harder knocks than even she

had experienced; it meant a fatigue there were no words to describe

even among the beautiful, wonderful, colourful ones the lodger taught

her. But she sold the papers and she purchased the booze.

Her mother did not know where she spent this extra time. She did not

care since the money came in from Maverick's steadily each week.

Neither did the lodger care how the booze was procured; the big thing

to him was that it came.

At first these lessons were fun for him; the big, gawky, half-starved,

overworked child seeing so vividly in pictures all that he told her in

words. Full-fed on the scraps from Maverick's--he was no longer

fastidious--well stimulated by the drink she brought, he took an ugly

sort of degraded pleasure in posturing before her, acting as he alone

could act those most wonderful of all plays, watching with hateful,

sardonic amusement the light and shadow of emotion upon her dirty

face. Oh, he was a magician, no doubt at all of that! Past master in

the rare art of a true genius, that of producing illusion.

Then he would make Cake try, rave at her, curse her, strike her, kill

himself laughing, drink some more and put her at it again.

Night after night, almost comatose from the fatigue of a day that

began while it was still dark, she carried a heaped-up plate and a

full bottle to the lodger's room and sat down upon the dry-goods box

with the candle beside her on the floor. And, having thus secured her

welcome, night after night she walked with him among that greatest of

all throngs of soldiers and lovers, kings and cardinals, queens,

prostitutes and thieves.

If the liquor was short in the bottle a dime's worth, the lesson was

curtailed. At first Cake tried to coax him. "Aw, c'mon, yuh Romeo on

th' street in Mantua."

But the lodger was never so drunk that he made the slightest

concession.

"Yes, I'm Romeo all right--the lad's there, never fear, gutter-snipe.

But--the bottle is not full."

After that she never attempted to change his ruling. She was letter

perfect in the bitter lesson, and if the sale of papers did not bring

in enough to fill the bottle, she accepted the hard fact with the calm

of great determination and did not go near the lodger's room, but went

to bed instead.

Perhaps it was these rare occasions of rest that kept her alive.

O. Henry Memorial Award Prize Stories of 1921 · 第 5 / 27 段