[Illustration: FLOREAT ETONA!
_Mr. Punch_ (_to King Henry's "holy shade"_). "CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR
MAJESTY, ON THE 400TH ANNIVERSARY!"]
[If the following have been omitted from the Catalogue, any
visitor to Eton is entitled to call on the Provost, Fellows,
and Head Master, and ask for an explanation.]
1. "_I'm Monarch of all I Survey._" Original copy of ballad sung by
the First Eton Ten-oar.
2. Old Sketch (landscape) of the Very Cross Roads near Surley Hall.
Also portrait of SURLY HALL himself.
3. "_A Night on the Brocas_." Old poem, supposed to be the original of
the scene "on the Brocken" in _Faust_. A curious mistake of GOETHE's,
probably due to his not having been educated at Eton.
4. The original "funny" owned by Master JOSEPH MILLER, supposed to
have provided him with the notion for his first jest.
*** Also the original jest itself, bottled in high spirits, and in
a fair state of preservation. As clearly as can be deciphered, the
legend is something about "an Indian," "an oarsman," and "feathering a
scull," or "skull."
5. A dissertation on the text that "The weakest goes to the
Wall," showing how this proverb has been for many years directly
contradicted, not only in theory but in practice during the Foot-ball
time; it being at Eton the strongest who invariably go to "the Wall."
6. A finely illustrated poem on a bathing subject. It is called
"_The Passing of Arthur_." The picture shows the Masters on the bank
at Cuckoo Ware, while one small natational Candidate is still in a
punt shiveringly awaiting the command to jump in again and swim the
regulation distance. From the title, it may be taken for granted that
this ARTHUR did "pass" after all. Poor little chap!
7. "_Going a Cropper off the Acropperlis at Athens_." Another bathing
subject--unsigned.
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