ANNA'S EXCUSE.
A very unpleasant part of the story has now to be touched upon.
Unpleasant things occur in real life, and if true pictures have to be
given of the world as it exists, as it goes on its round, day by day,
allusion to them cannot be wholly avoided.
Certain words of William Halliburton to Patience had run in this
fashion: "Were Anna to be drawn into a liking for Herbert Dare, I am
sure it would not be agreeable to Mr. Lynn. He would never consider the
Dares a desirable family for her to marry into." In thus speaking,
William had striven to put the case in a polite sort of form to the ears
of Patience. As to any probability of marriage between one of the Dares
and Anna Lynn, he would scarcely have believed it within the range of
possibility. The Dares, one and all, would have considered Anna far
beneath them in position, whilst the difference of religion would on
Anna's side be an almost insurmountable objection. The worst that
William had contemplated was the "liking" he had hinted at. He cared for
Anna's welfare as he would have cared for a sister's, and he believed it
would not contribute to her happiness that she should become attached to
Herbert Dare. But for compromising Anna--and he had given his word not
to do it--he would have spoken out openly and said there was a danger of
this liking coming to pass, if she met him as he feared she had been in
the habit of doing. Certainly he would not have alluded to the remote
possibility of marriage, the mention of which had so scared Patience.
What had William thought, what had Patience said, could they have known
that this liking was already implanted in Anna's heart beyond recall?
Alas! that it should have been so! Quiet, childish, timid as Anna
outwardly appeared, the strongest affection had been aroused in her
heart for Herbert Dare--was filling its every crevice. These apparently
shy, sensitive natures are sometimes only the more passionate and
wayward within. One evening a few months previously, Anna was walking
in Atterly's Field, behind their house. Anna had been in the habit of
walking there--nay, of playing there--since she was a child, and she
would as soon have associated harm with their garden as with that field.
Farmer Atterly kept his sheep in it, and Anna had run about with the
lambs as long as she could remember. Herbert Dare came up
accidentally--the path through it, leading along at the back of the
houses, was public, though not much frequented--and he spoke to Anna.
Anna knew him to say "Good day" when she passed him in the street; and
she now and then saw him at Mrs. Ashley's. Herbert stayed talking with
her a few minutes, and then went on his way.
Somehow, from that time, he and Anna encountered each other there pretty
frequently; and that was how the liking had grown. If a qualm of
conscience crossed Miss Anna at times that it was not quite the thing
for a young lady to do, thus to meet a gentleman in secret, she
conveniently put the qualm away. That harm should arise from it in any
way never so much as crossed her mind for a moment; and to do Herbert
Dare justice, real harm was probably as far from his mind as from hers.
He grew to like her, almost as she liked him. Herbert Dare did not, in
the sight of Helstonleigh, stand out as a model of all the cardinal
virtues; but he was not all bad. Anna believed him all good--all honour,
truth, excellence; and her heart had flashed out a rebuke to William
when he hinted that Herbert was not exactly a paragon. She only knew
that the very sound of his footstep made her heart leap with happiness;
she only knew that to her he appeared everything that was bright and
fascinating. Her great dread was, lest their intimacy should become
known and separation ensue. That separation would be inevitable, were
her father or Patience to become cognizant of it, Anna rightly believed.
Cunning little sophist that she was! She would fain persuade herself
that an innocent meeting out of doors was justifiable, where a meeting
indoors was out of the question. They had no acquaintance with the
Dares; consequently Herbert could plead no excuse for calling in upon
them--none at least that would be likely to carry weight with Patience.
And so the young lady reconciled her conscience in the best way she
could, stole out as often as she was able to meet him, and left
discovery to take care of itself.
Discovery came in the shape of William Halliburton. It was bad enough;
but far less alarming to Anna than it might have been. Had her father
dropped upon her, she would have run away and fallen into the nearest
pond, in her terror and consternation.
Though guilty of certain trifling inaccuracies--such as protesting that
she "did not care" for Herbert Dare--Anna, in that interview with
William, fully meant to keep the promise she made, not to meet him
again. Promises, however, given under the influence of terror or other
sudden emotion, are not always kept. It would probably prove so with
Anna's. One thing was indisputable--that where a mind could so far
forget its moral rectitude as to practise deceit in one particular, as
Anna was doing, it would not be very scrupulous to keep its better
promises.
Anna's thoughts for many a morning latterly, when she arose, had been
"This evening I shall see him," and the prospect seemed to quicken her
fingers, as it quickened her heart. But on the morning after the
discovery, her first thought was, "I must never see him again as I have
done. How shall I warn him not to come?" That he would be in the field
again that evening, unless warned, she knew: if William Halliburton saw
him there a quarrel might ensue between them; at any rate, an unpleasant
scene. Anna came down, feeling cross and petulant, and inclined to wish
William had been at the bottom of the sea before he had found them out
the previous evening.
"Where there's a will, there's a way," it is said. Anna Lynn contrived
that day to exemplify it. Her will was set upon seeing Herbert Dare, and
she did see him: it can scarcely be said by accident. Anna contrived to
be sent into the town by Patience on an errand, and she managed to
linger so long in the neighbourhood of Mr. Dare's office, gazing in at
the shops in West Street (if Patience had only seen her!), that Herbert
Dare passed.
"Anna!"
"Herbert, I have been waiting in the hope of seeing thee," she
whispered, her manner timid as a fawn, her pretty cheeks blushing. "Thee
must not come again in the evening, for I cannot meet thee."
"Why so?" asked Herbert.
"William Halliburton saw me with thee last night, and he says it is not
right. I had to give him my promise not to meet thee again, or he would
have told my father."
Herbert cast a word to William; not a complimentary one. "What business
is it of his?" he asked.
"I dare not stay talking to thee, Herbert. Patience will likely be
sending Grace after me, finding me so long away. But I was obliged to
tell thee this, lest thee should be coming again. Fare thee well!"
Passing swiftly from him, Anna went on her way. Herbert did not choose
to follow her in the open street. She went along, poor child, with her
head down and her eyelashes glistening. It was little else than bitter
sorrow thus to part with Herbert Dare.
Patience was standing at the door, looking out for her when she came in
sight of home. Patience had given little heed to what William
Halliburton had said the previous night, or she might not have sent Anna
into Helstonleigh alone. In point of fact, Patience had thought William
a little fanciful. But when, instead of being home at four o'clock, as
she ought to have been, the clock struck five, and she had not made her
appearance, Patience began to think she did let her have too much
liberty.
"Now, where hast thee been?" was Patience's salutation, delivered in icy
tones.
"I met so many people, Patience. They stayed to talk with me."
Brushing past Patience, deaf to her subsequent reproofs, Anna flew up to
her own room. When she came down, her father had entered, and Patience
was pouring out the tea.
"Wilt thee tell thy father where thee hast been?"
The command was delivered in Patience's driest tone. Anna, inwardly
tormented, outwardly vexed, burst into tears. The Quaker looked up in
surprise.
Patience explained. Anna had left home at three o'clock to execute a
little commission: she might well have been home in three-quarters of an
hour and she had only made her appearance now.
"What kept thee, child?" asked her father.
"I only looked in at a shop or two," pleaded Anna, through her tears.
"There were the prettiest new engravings in at Thomas Woakam's! If
Patience had wanted me to run both ways, she should have said so."
Notwithstanding the little spice of impertinence peeping out in the last
sentence, Samuel Lynn saw no reason to correct Anna. That she could ever
be wrong, he scarcely admitted to his own heart. "Dry thy tears, child,
and take thy tea," said he. "Patience wanted thee, maybe, for some
household matter; it can wait another opportunity. Patience," he added,
as if to drown the sound of his words and their remembrance, "are my
shirts in order?"
"Thy shirts in order?" repeated Patience. "Why dost thee ask that?"
"I should not have asked it without reason," returned he. "Wilt thee
please give me an answer?"
"The old shirts are as much in order as things, beginning to wear, can
be," replied Patience. "Thy new shirts I cannot say much about. They
will not be finished this side Midsummer, unless Anna sits to them a
little closer than she is doing now."
"Thy shirts will be ready quite in time, father; before the old ones are
gone beyond wearing," spoke up Anna.
"I don't know that," said Mr. Lynn. "Had they been ready, child, I might
have wanted them now. I am going a journey."
"Is it the French journey thee hast talked of once or twice lately?"
interposed Patience.
"Yes," said Samuel Lynn. "The master was speaking to me about it this
afternoon. We were interrupted, and I did not altogether gather when he
wishes me to start; but I fancy it will be immediately----"
"Oh, father! couldst thee not take me?"
The interruption came from Anna. Her blue eyes were glistening, her
cheeks were crimson; a journey to the interior of France wore charms for
her as great as it did for Cyril Dare. All the way home from West Street
she had been thinking how she should spend her miserable home days,
debarred of the evening snatches of Mr. Herbert's charming society.
Going to France would be something.
"I wish I could take thee, child! But thee art aware thee might as well
ask me to take the Malvern Hills."
In her inward conviction, Anna believed she might. Before she could
oppose any answering but most useless argument, Samuel Lynn's attention
was directed to the road. Parting opposite to his house, as if they had
just walked together from the manufactory, were Mr. Ashley and William
Halliburton. The master walked on. William, catching Samuel Lynn's eye,
came across and entered.
Mr. Ashley had been telling William some news. Though no vacillating man
in a general way, it appeared that he had again reconsidered his
determination with regard to despatching William to France. He had come
to the resolve to send him, as well as Samuel Lynn. William could not
help surmising that his betrayed emotion the previous night, his fears
touching Mr. Ashley's reason for not sending him, may have had something
to do with that gentleman's change of mind.
"Will you be troubled with me?" asked he of Mr. Lynn, when he had
imparted this to him.
"If such be the master's fiat, I cannot help being troubled with thee,"
was the answer of Samuel Lynn; but the tone of his voice spoke of
anything rather than dissatisfaction. "Why is he sending thee as well as
myself?"
"He told me he thought it might be best that you should show me the
markets, and introduce me to the skin merchants, as I should probably
have to make the journey alone in future," replied William. "I had no
idea, until the master mentioned it now, that you had ever made the
journey yourself, Mr. Lynn; you never told me."
"There was nothing, that I am aware of, to call for the information,"
observed the Quaker, in his usual dry manner. "I went there two or three
times on my own account when I was in business for myself. Did the
master tell thee when he should expect us to start?"
"Not precisely. The beginning of the week, I think."
"I have been asking my father if he cannot take me," put in Anna, in
plaintive tones, looking at William.
"And I have answered her, that she may as well ask me to take the
Malvern Hills," was the rejoinder of Samuel Lynn. "I could as likely
take the one as the other."
Likely or unlikely, Samuel Lynn would have taken her beyond all
doubt--taken her with a greedy, sheltering grasp--had he foreseen the
result of leaving her at home, the grievous trouble that was to fall
upon her head.
"Thee wilt drink a dish of tea with us this evening, William?"
It was Patience who spoke. William hesitated, but he saw they would be
pleased at his doing so, and he sat down. The conversation turned upon
France--upon Samuel Lynn's experiences, and William's anticipations.
Anna lapsed into silence and abstraction.
In the bustle of moving, when Samuel Lynn was departing for the
manufactory, William, before going home to his books, contrived to
obtain a word alone with Anna.
"Have you thought of our compact?"
"Yes," she said, freely meeting his eyes in honest truth. "I saw him
this afternoon in the street; I went on purpose to try and meet him. He
will not come again."
"That is well. Mind and take care of yourself, Anna," he added, with a
smile. "I shall be away, and not able to give an eye to you, as I freely
confess it had been my resolve to do."
Anna shook her head. "He does not come again," she repeated. "Thee may
go away believing me, William."
And William did go away believing her--went away to France putting faith
in her; thinking that the undesirable intimacy was at an end for ever.