_Myr._ There----
Squ. _Rich._ One buss and a bargain.
[_Kisses her._
Ads wauntlikins! as soft and plump as a marrow-pudding.
[_Exeunt severally._
_Enter Sir ~Francis Wronghead~ and Mrs. ~Motherly~._
Sir _Fran._ What! my wife and daughter abroad say you?
_Moth._ O dear Sir, they have been mighty busy all the day long; they
just came home to snap up a short dinner, and so went out again.
Sir _Fran._ Well, well, I shan't stay supper for 'em, I can tell 'em
that: For ods-heart! I have had nothing in me, but a toast and a
tankard, since morning.
_Moth._ I am afraid, Sir, these late Parliament hours won't agree with
you.
Sir _Fran._ Why, truly, Mrs. _Motherly_, they don't do right with us
country gentlemen; to lose one meal out of three, is a hard tax upon a
good stomach.
_Moth._ It is so indeed, Sir.
Sir _Fran._ But, hawsomever, Mrs. _Motherly_, when we consider, that
what we suffer is for the good of our country----
_Moth._ Why truly, Sir, that is something.
Sir _Fran._ Oh! there's a great deal to be said for't--the good of
one's country is above all things----A true hearted _Englishman_ thinks
nothing too much for it----I have heard of some honest gentlemen
so very zealous, that for the good of their country----they would
sometimes go to dinner at midnight.
_Moth._ O! the goodness of 'em! sure their country must have vast
esteem for them?
Sir _Fran._ So they have Mrs. _Motherly_; they are so respected
when they come home to their Boroughs, after a session, and so
belov'd----that their country will come and dine with them every day in
the week.
_Moth._ Dear me! what a fine thing it is to be so populous?
Sir _Fran._ It is a great comfort, indeed! and I can assure you you are
a good sensible woman, Mrs. _Motherly_.
_Moth._ O dear Sir, your Honour's pleas'd to compliment.
Sir _Fran._ No, no, I see you know how to value people of consequence.
_Moth._ Good lack! here's company, Sir; will you give me leave to get
you a little something 'till the ladies come home, Sir?
Sir _Fran._ Why troth, I don't think it would be amiss.
_Moth._ It shall be done in a moment, Sir.
[_Exit._
_Enter Mr. ~Manly~._
_Man._ Sir _Francis_, your servant.
Sir _Fran._ Cousin _Manly_!
_Man._ I am come to see how the family goes on here.
Sir _Fran._ Troth! all as busy as bees; I have been upon the wing ever
since eight o'clock this morning.
_Man._ By your early hour, then, I suppose you have been making your
court to some of the great men.
Sir _Fran._ Why, faith! you have hit it, Sir----I was advised to lose
no time: so I e'en went straight forward, to one great man I had never
seen in my life before.
_Man._ Right! that was doing business: but who had you got to introduce
you?
Sir _Fran._ Why, no body----I remember'd I had heard a wise man say--My
son be bold--so troth! I introduced myself.
_Man._ As how, pray?
Sir _Fran._ Why, thus----look ye----please your Lordship, says I, I am
Sir _Francis Wronghead_ of _Bumper-hall_, and member of Parliament for
the borough of _Guzzledown_----Sir, your humble servant, says my Lord;
thof I have not the honour to know your person, I have heard you are
a very honest gentleman, and am glad your Borough has made choice of
so worthy a representative; and so, says he, Sir _Francis_, have you
any service to command me? Naw, cousin! those last words, you may be
sure gave me no small encouragement. And thof I know, Sir, you have no
extraordinary opinion of my parts, yet I believe, you won't say I mist
it naw!
_Man._ Well, I hope I shall have no cause.
Sir _Fran._ So when I found him so courteous----My Lord, says I, I
did not think to ha' troubled your Lordship with business upon my
first visit: but since your Lordship is pleas'd not to stand upon
ceremony----why truly, says I, I think naw is as good as another time.
_Man._ Right! there you push'd him home.
Sir _Fran._ Ay, ay, I had a mind to let him see that I was none of your
mealy-mouth'd ones.
_Man._ Very good!
Sir _Fran._ So in short, my Lord, says I, I have a good
estate----but----a----it's a little awt at elbows: and as I desire to
serve my King, as well as my country, I shall be very willing to accept
of a place at Court.
_Man._ So, this was making short work on't.
Sir _Fran._ I'cod! I shot him flying, cousin: some of your hawf-witted
ones naw, would ha' humm'd and haw'd, and dangled a month or two after
him, before they durst open their mouths about a place, and mayhap, not
ha' got it at last neither.
_Man._ Oh! I'm glad you're so sure on't----
Sir _Fran._ You shall hear, cousin----Sir _Francis_, says my Lord, pray
what sort of a place may you ha' turn'd your thoughts upon? My Lord,
says I, beggars must not be chusers; but ony a place, says I, about a
thousand a year, will be well enough to be doing with 'till something
better falls in--for I thowght it would not look well to stond haggling
with him at first.
_Man._ No, no, your business was to get footing any way.
Sir _Fran._ Right! there's it! ay, cousin, I see you know the world!
_Man._ Yes, yes, one sees more of it every day----well! but what said
my Lord to all this?
Sir _Fran._ Sir _Francis_, says he, I shall be glad to serve you any
way that lies in my power; so gave me a squeeze by the hond, as much as
to say, give yourself no trouble----I'll do your business; with that he
turn'd him abawt to somebody with a coloured ribbon across here, that
look'd in my thowghts, as if he came for a place too.
_Man._ Ha! so, upon these hopes, you are to make your fortune!
Sir _Fran._ Why, do you think there's ony doubt of it, Sir?
_Man._ Oh no, I have not the least doubt about it----for just as you
have done, I made my fortune ten years ago.
Sir _Fran._ Why, I never knew you had a place, cousin.
_Man._ Nor I neither, upon my faith, cousin. But you perhaps may have
better fortune: for I suppose my Lord has heard of what importance you
were in the debate to-day----You have been since down at the house, I
presume?
Sir _Fran._ O yes! I would not neglect the house, for ever so much.
_Man._ Well, and pray what have they done there?
Sir _Fran._ Why, troth! I can't well tell you, what they have done, but
I can tell you what I did: and I think pretty well in the main; only I
happened to make a little mistake at last indeed.
_Man._ How was that?
Sir _Fran._ Why, they were all got there, into a sort of a puzzling
debate, about the good of the nation----and I were always for that,
you know----but in short, the arguments were so long winded o' both
sides, that, waunds! I did no well understand 'em, hawsomever,
I was convinc'd, and so resolved to vote right, according to my
conscience----so when they came to put the question, as they call
it,----I don't know haw 'twas----but I doubt I cry'd ay! when I should
ha' cry'd no!
_Man._ How came that about?
Sir _Fran._ Why, by a mistake, as I tell you----for there was a
good-humour'd sort of a gentleman, one Mr. _Totherside_ I think they
call him, that sat next me, as soon as I had cry'd ay! gives me a
hearty shake by the hand! Sir says he, you are a man of honour, and a
true _Englishman_! and I should be proud to be better acquainted with
you----and so with that, he takes me by the sleeve, along with the
crowd into the lobby, so, I knew nowght----but ods-flesh! I was got o'
the wrung side the post--for I were told, afterwards, I should have
staid where I was.
_Man._ And so, if you had not quite made your fortune before, you have
clench'd it now!----Ah! thou head of the _Wrongheads_.
Sir _Fran._ Odso! here's my lady come home at last----I hope, cousin,
you will be so kind, as to take a family supper with us?
_Man._ Another time, Sir _Francis_; but to-night I am engaged!
_Enter Lady ~Wronghead~, Miss ~Jenny~, and Count ~Basset~._
Lady _Wrong._ Cousin! your servant; I hope you will pardon my rudeness:
but we have really been in such a continual hurry here, that we have
not had a leisure moment to return your last visit.
_Man._ O Madam! I am a man of no ceremony; you see that has not
hindered my coming again.
Lady _Wrong._ You are infinitely obliging; but I'll redeem my credit
with you.
_Man._ At your own time, Madam.
Count _Bas._ I must say that for Mr. _Manly_, madam; if making people
easy is the rule of good-breeding, he is certainly the best bred man in
the world.
_Man._ Soh! I am not to drop my acquaintance, I find--[_Aside._] I am
afraid, Sir, I shall grow vain upon your good opinion.
Count _Bas._ I don't know that, Sir; but I am sure, what you are
pleas'd to say, makes me so.
_Man._ The most impudent modesty that ever I met with.
[_Aside._
Lady _Wrong._ Lard! how ready his wit is?
[_Aside._
Sir _Fran._ Don't you think, Sir, the Count's }
a very fine gentleman? }
}
_Man._ O! among the ladies, certainly. }
}
Sir _Fran._ And yet he's as stout as a lion: } _Apart._
waund, he'll storm any thing. }
}
_Man._ Will he so? Why then, Sir, take }
care of your citadel. }
}
Sir _Fran._ Ah! you are wag, cousin. }
_Man._ I hope, Ladies, the town air continues to agree with you?
_Jenny._ O! perfectly well, Sir! We have been abroad in our new coach
all day long----and we have bought an ocean of fine things. And
to-morrow we go to the masquerade! and on Friday to the play! and on
Saturday to the opera! and on Sunday we are to be at what d'ye call
it--assembly, and see the ladies play at quadrille, and piquet and
ombre, and hazard, and basset, and on _Monday_, we are to see the King!
and so on _Tuesday_----
Lady _Wrong._ Hold, hold, Miss! you must not let your tongue run so
fast, child----you forgot! you know I brought you hither to learn
modesty.
_Man._ Yes, yes! and she is improved with a vengeance--
[_Aside._
_Jenny._ Lawrd! Mama, I am sure I did not say any harm! and if one must
not speak in ones turn, one may be kept under as long as one lives, for
ought I see.