First, touching Dandies, let us consider, with some scientific
strictness, what a Dandy specially is. A Dandy is a Clothes-wearing
Man, a Man whose trade, office and existence consists in the wearing
of Clothes. Every faculty of his soul, spirit, purse and person is
heroically consecrated to this one object, the wearing of Clothes
wisely and well: so that as others dress to live, he lives to dress.
The all-importance of Clothes, which a German Professor, of unequalled
learning and acumen, writes his enormous Volume to demonstrate, has
sprung up in the intellect of the Dandy without effort, like an
instinct of genius; he is inspired with Cloth, a Poet of Cloth. What
Teufelsdrockh would call a "Divine Idea of Cloth" is born with him; and
this, like other such Ideas, will express itself outwardly, or wring his
heart asunder with unutterable throes.
But, like a generous, creative enthusiast, he fearlessly makes his Idea
an Action; shows himself in peculiar guise to mankind; walks forth, a
witness and living Martyr to the eternal worth of Clothes. We called him
a Poet: is not his body the (stuffed) parchment-skin whereon he writes,
with cunning Huddersfield dyes, a Sonnet to his mistress' eyebrow? Say,
rather, an Epos, and _Clotha Virumque cano_, to the whole world, in
Macaronic verses, which he that runs may read. Nay, if you grant, what
seems to be admissible, that the Dandy has a Thinking-principle in
him, and some notions of Time and Space, is there not in this
life-devotedness to Cloth, in this so willing sacrifice of the Immortal
to the Perishable, something (though in reverse order) of that blending
and identification of Eternity with Time, which, as we have seen,
constitutes the Prophetic character?
And now, for all this perennial Martyrdom, and Poesy, and even Prophecy,
what is it that the Dandy asks in return? Solely, we may say, that you
would recognize his existence; would admit him to be a living object; or
even failing this, a visual object, or thing that will reflect rays
of light. Your silver or your gold (beyond what the niggardly Law has
already secured him) he solicits not; simply the glance of your eyes.
Understand his mystic significance, or altogether miss and misinterpret
it; do but look at him, and he is contented. May we not well cry shame
on an ungrateful world, which refuses even this poor boon; which will
waste its optic faculty on dried Crocodiles, and Siamese Twins; and
over the domestic wonderful wonder of wonders, a live Dandy, glance with
hasty indifference, and a scarcely concealed contempt! Him no Zoologist
classes among the Mammalia, no Anatomist dissects with care: when did we
see any injected Preparation of the Dandy in our Museums; any specimen
of him preserved in spirits! Lord Herringbone may dress himself in a
snuff-brown suit, with snuff-brown shirt and shoes: it skills not; the
undiscerning public, occupied with grosser wants, passes by regardless
on the other side.
The age of Curiosity, like that of Chivalry, is indeed, properly
speaking, gone. Yet perhaps only gone to sleep: for here arises the
Clothes-Philosophy to resuscitate, strangely enough, both the one and
the other! Should sound views of this Science come to prevail, the
essential nature of the British Dandy, and the mystic significance that
lies in him, cannot always remain hidden under laughable and lamentable
hallucination. The following long Extract from Professor Teufelsdrockh
may set the matter, if not in its true light, yet in the way towards
such. It is to be regretted, however, that here, as so often elsewhere,
the Professor's keen philosophic perspicacity is somewhat marred by a
certain mixture of almost owlish purblindness, or else of some perverse,
ineffectual, ironic tendency; our readers shall judge which:--
"In these distracted times," writes he, "when the Religious Principle,
driven out of most Churches, either lies unseen in the hearts of good
men, looking and longing and silently working there towards some new
Revelation; or else wanders homeless over the world, like a disembodied
soul seeking its terrestrial organization,--into how many strange
shapes, of Superstition and Fanaticism, does it not tentatively and
errantly cast itself! The higher Enthusiasm of man's nature is for the
while without Exponent; yet does it continue indestructible, unweariedly
active, and work blindly in the great chaotic deep: thus Sect after
Sect, and Church after Church, bodies itself forth, and melts again into
new metamorphosis.
"Chiefly is this observable in England, which, as the wealthiest and
worst-instructed of European nations, offers precisely the elements
(of Heat, namely, and of Darkness), in which such moon-calves and
monstrosities are best generated. Among the newer Sects of that country,
one of the most notable, and closely connected with our present subject,
is that of the _Dandies_; concerning which, what little information I
have been able to procure may fitly stand here.
"It is true, certain of the English Journalists, men generally without
sense for the Religious Principle, or judgment for its manifestations,
speak, in their brief enigmatic notices, as if this were perhaps
rather a Secular Sect, and not a Religious one; nevertheless, to the
psychologic eye its devotional and even sacrificial character
plainly enough reveals itself. Whether it belongs to the class of
Fetish-worships, or of Hero-worships or Polytheisms, or to what other
class, may in the present state of our intelligence remain undecided
(_schweben_). A certain touch of Manicheism, not indeed in the Gnostic
shape, is discernible enough; also (for human Error walks in a cycle,
and reappears at intervals) a not-inconsiderable resemblance to that
Superstition of the Athos Monks, who by fasting from all nourishment,
and looking intensely for a length of time into their own navels, came
to discern therein the true Apocalypse of Nature, and Heaven Unveiled.
To my own surmise, it appears as if this Dandiacal Sect were but a new
modification, adapted to the new time, of that primeval Superstition,
_Self-worship_; which Zerdusht, Quangfoutchee, Mahomet, and others,
strove rather to subordinate and restrain than to eradicate; and which
only in the purer forms of Religion has been altogether rejected.
Wherefore, if any one chooses to name it revived Ahrimanism, or a new
figure of Demon-Worship, I have, so far as is yet visible, no objection.
"For the rest, these people, animated with the zeal of a new Sect,
display courage and perseverance, and what force there is in man's
nature, though never so enslaved. They affect great purity and
separatism; distinguish themselves by a particular costume (whereof some
notices were given in the earlier part of this Volume); likewise, so
far as possible, by a particular speech (apparently some broken
_Lingua-franca_, or English-French); and, on the whole, strive to
maintain a true Nazarene deportment, and keep themselves unspotted from
the world.
"They have their Temples, whereof the chief, as the Jewish Temple did,
stands in their metropolis; and is named _Almack's_, a word of
uncertain etymology. They worship principally by night; and have their
High-priests and High-priestesses, who, however, do not continue for
life. The rites, by some supposed to be of the Menadic sort, or perhaps
with an Eleusinian or Cabiric character, are held strictly secret.
Nor are Sacred Books wanting to the Sect; these they call _Fashionable
Novels_: however, the Canon is not completed, and some are canonical and
others not.
"Of such Sacred Books I, not without expense, procured myself some
samples; and in hope of true insight, and with the zeal which beseems an
Inquirer into Clothes, set to interpret and study them. But wholly to
no purpose: that tough faculty of reading, for which the world will not
refuse me credit, was here for the first time foiled and set at naught.
In vain that I summoned my whole energies (_mich weidlich anstrengte_),
and did my very utmost; at the end of some short space, I was uniformly
seized with not so much what I can call a drumming in my ears, as a kind
of infinite, unsufferable, Jew's-harping and scrannel-piping there; to
which the frightfullest species of Magnetic Sleep soon supervened. And
if I strove to shake this away, and absolutely would not yield, there
came a hitherto unfelt sensation, as of _Delirium Tremens_, and a
melting into total deliquium: till at last, by order of the Doctor,
dreading ruin to my whole intellectual and bodily faculties, and a
general breaking up of the constitution, I reluctantly but determinedly
forbore. Was there some miracle at work here; like those Fire-balls,
and supernal and infernal prodigies, which, in the case of the Jewish
Mysteries, have also more than once scared back the Alien? Be this as
it may, such failure on my part, after best efforts, must excuse the
imperfection of this sketch; altogether incomplete, yet the completest I
could give of a Sect too singular to be omitted.
"Loving my own life and senses as I do, no power shall induce me, as a
private individual, to open another _Fashionable Novel_. But luckily,
in this dilemma, comes a hand from the clouds; whereby if not victory,
deliverance is held out to me. Round one of those Book-packages, which
the _Stillschweigen'sche Buchhandlung_ is in the habit of importing
from England, come, as is usual, various waste printed-sheets
(_Maculatur-blatter_), by way of interior wrappage: into these the
Clothes-Philosopher, with a certain Mahometan reverence even for
waste-paper, where curious knowledge will sometimes hover, disdains not
to cast his eye. Readers may judge of his astonishment when on such
a defaced stray-sheet, probably the outcast fraction of some English
Periodical, such as they name _Magazine_, appears something like a
Dissertation on this very subject of _Fashionable Novels_! It sets out,
indeed, chiefly from a Secular point of view; directing itself, not
without asperity, against some to me unknown individual named _Pelham_,
who seems to be a Mystagogue, and leading Teacher and Preacher of the
Sect; so that, what indeed otherwise was not to be expected in such a
fugitive fragmentary sheet, the true secret, the Religious physiognomy
and physiology of the Dandiacal Body, is nowise laid fully open there.
Nevertheless, scattered lights do from time to time sparkle out, whereby
I have endeavored to profit. Nay, in one passage selected from the
Prophecies, or Mythic Theogonies, or whatever they are (for the style
seems very mixed) of this Mystagogue, I find what appears to be a
Confession of Faith, or Whole Duty of Man, according to the tenets of
that Sect. Which Confession or Whole Duty, therefore, as proceeding
from a source so authentic, I shall here arrange under Seven distinct
Articles, and in very abridged shape lay before the German world;
therewith taking leave of this matter. Observe also, that to avoid
possibility of error, I, as far as may be, quote literally from the
Original:--
ARTICLES OF FAITH.
'1. Coats should have nothing of the triangle about them; at the same
time, wrinkles behind should be carefully avoided.
'2. The collar is a very important point: it should be low behind, and
slightly rolled.
'3. No license of fashion can allow a man of delicate taste to adopt the
posterial luxuriance of a Hottentot.
'4. There is safety in a swallow-tail.
'5. The good sense of a gentleman is nowhere more finely developed than
in his rings.
'6. It is permitted to mankind, under certain restrictions, to wear
white waistcoats.
'7. The trousers must be exceedingly tight across the hips.'
"All which Propositions I, for the present, content myself with modestly
but peremptorily and irrevocably denying.
"In strange contrast with this Dandiacal Body stands another British
Sect, originally, as I understand, of Ireland, where its chief seat
still is; but known also in the main Island, and indeed everywhere
rapidly spreading. As this Sect has hitherto emitted no Canonical Books,
it remains to me in the same state of obscurity as the Dandiacal, which
has published Books that the unassisted human faculties are inadequate
to read. The members appear to be designated by a considerable diversity
of names, according to their various places of establishment: in England
they are generally called the _Drudge_ Sect; also, unphilosophically
enough, the _White Negroes_; and, chiefly in scorn by those of other
communions, the _Ragged-Beggar_ Sect. In Scotland, again, I find them
entitled _Hallanshakers_, or the _Stook of Duds_ Sect; any individual
communicant is named _Stook of Duds_ (that is, Shock of Rags), in
allusion, doubtless, to their professional Costume. While in Ireland,
which, as mentioned, is their grand parent hive, they go by a perplexing
multiplicity of designations, such as _Bogtrotters, Redshanks,
Ribbonmen, Cottiers, Peep-of-Day Boys, Babes of the Wood, Rockites,
Poor-Slaves_: which last, however, seems to be the primary and generic
name; whereto, probably enough, the others are only subsidiary species,
or slight varieties; or, at most, propagated offsets from the parent
stem, whose minute subdivisions, and shades of difference, it were
here loss of time to dwell on. Enough for us to understand, what seems
indubitable, that the original Sect is that of the _Poor-Slaves_;
whose doctrines, practices, and fundamental characteristics pervade and
animate the whole Body, howsoever denominated or outwardly diversified.
"The precise speculative tenets of this Brotherhood: how the Universe,
and Man, and Man's Life, picture themselves to the mind of an Irish
Poor-Slave; with what feelings and opinions he looks forward on the
Future, round on the Present, back on the Past, it were extremely
difficult to specify. Something Monastic there appears to be in their
Constitution: we find them bound by the two Monastic Vows, of Poverty
and Obedience; which vows, especially the former, it is said, they
observe with great strictness; nay, as I have understood it, they are
pledged, and be it by any solemn Nazarene ordination or not, irrevocably
consecrated thereto, even _before_ birth. That the third Monastic
Vow, of Chastity, is rigidly enforced among them, I find no ground to
conjecture.
"Furthermore, they appear to imitate the Dandiacal Sect in their grand
principle of wearing a peculiar Costume. Of which Irish Poor-Slave
Costume no description will indeed be found in the present Volume; for
this reason, that by the imperfect organ of Language it did not seem
describable. Their raiment consists of innumerable skirts, lappets
and irregular wings, of all cloths and of all colors; through the
labyrinthic intricacies of which their bodies are introduced by some
unknown process. It is fastened together by a multiplex combination of
buttons, thrums and skewers; to which frequently is added a girdle of
leather, of hempen or even of straw rope, round the loins. To straw
rope, indeed, they seem partial, and often wear it by way of sandals.
In head-dress they affect a certain freedom: hats with partial brim,
without crown, or with only a loose, hinged, or valve crown; in the
former case, they sometimes invert the hat, and wear it brim uppermost,
like a university-cap, with what view is unknown.
"The name Poor-Slaves seems to indicate a Slavonic, Polish, or Russian
origin: not so, however, the interior essence and spirit of their
Superstition, which rather displays a Teutonic or Druidical character.
One might fancy them worshippers of Hertha, or the Earth: for they dig
and affectionately work continually in her bosom; or else, shut up in
private Oratories, meditate and manipulate the substances derived from
her; seldom looking up towards the Heavenly Luminaries, and then with
comparative indifference. Like the Druids, on the other hand, they live
in dark dwellings; often even breaking their glass windows, where they
find such, and stuffing them up with pieces of raiment, or other
opaque substances, till the fit obscurity is restored. Again, like all
followers of Nature-Worship, they are liable to out-breakings of an
enthusiasm rising to ferocity; and burn men, if not in wicker idols, yet
in sod cottages.
"In respect of diet, they have also their observances. All Poor-Slaves
are Rhizophagous (or Root-eaters); a few are Ichthyophagous, and use
Salted Herrings: other animal food they abstain from; except indeed,
with perhaps some strange inverted fragment of a Brahminical feeling,
such animals as die a natural death. Their universal sustenance is the
root named Potato, cooked by fire alone; and generally without condiment
or relish of any kind, save an unknown condiment named _Point_, into
the meaning of which I have vainly inquired; the victual
_Potatoes-and-Point_ not appearing, at least not with specific accuracy
of description, in any European Cookery-Book whatever. For drink, they
use, with an almost epigrammatic counterpoise of taste, Milk, which
is the mildest of liquors, and _Potheen_, which is the fiercest. This
latter I have tasted, as well as the English _Blue-Ruin_, and the Scotch
_Whiskey_, analogous fluids used by the Sect in those countries:
it evidently contains some form of alcohol, in the highest state of
concentration, though disguised with acrid oils; and is, on the whole,
the most pungent substance known to me,--indeed, a perfect liquid
fire. In all their Religious Solemnities, Potheen is said to be an
indispensable requisite, and largely consumed.
"An Irish Traveller, of perhaps common veracity, who presents himself
under the to me unmeaning title of _The late John Bernard_, offers
the following sketch of a domestic establishment, the inmates whereof,
though such is not stated expressly, appear to have been of that Faith.
Thereby shall my German readers now behold an Irish Poor-Slave, as it
were with their own eyes; and even see him at meat. Moreover, in the
so precious waste-paper sheet above mentioned, I have found some
corresponding picture of a Dandiacal Household, painted by that same
Dandiacal Mystagogue, or Theogonist: this also, by way of counterpart
and contrast, the world shall look into.
"First, therefore, of the Poor-Slave, who appears likewise to have been
a species of Innkeeper. I quote from the original:
POOR-SLAVE HOUSEHOLD.
"'The furniture of this Caravansera consisted of a large iron Pot, two
oaken Tables, two Benches, two Chairs, and a Potheen Noggin. There was
a Loft above (attainable by a ladder), upon which the inmates slept; and
the space below was divided by a hurdle into two Apartments; the one for
their cow and pig, the other for themselves and guests. On entering the
house we discovered the family, eleven in number, at dinner: the father
sitting at the top, the mother at the bottom, the children on each side,
of a large oaken Board, which was scooped out in the middle, like a
trough, to receive the contents of their Pot of Potatoes. Little holes
were cut at equal distances to contain Salt; and a bowl of Milk stood on
the table: all the luxuries of meat and beer, bread, knives and dishes
were dispensed with.' The Poor-Slave himself our Traveller found, as he
says, broad-backed, black-browed, of great personal strength, and mouth
from ear to ear. His Wife was a sun-browned but well-featured woman; and
his young ones, bare and chubby, had the appetite of ravens. Of their
Philosophical or Religious tenets or observances, no notice or hint.
"But now, secondly, of the Dandiacal Household; in which, truly, that
often-mentioned Mystagogue and inspired Penman himself has his abode:--
DANDIACAL HOUSEHOLD.
"'A Dressing-room splendidly furnished; violet-colored curtains, chairs
and ottomans of the same hue. Two full-length Mirrors are placed, one on
each side of a table, which supports the luxuries of the Toilet. Several
Bottles of Perfumes, arranged in a peculiar fashion, stand upon a
smaller table of mother-of-pearl: opposite to these are placed the
appurtenances of Lavation richly wrought in frosted silver. A Wardrobe
of Buhl is on the left; the doors of which, being partly open, discover
a profusion of Clothes; Shoes of a singularly small size monopolize
the lower shelves. Fronting the wardrobe a door ajar gives some slight
glimpse of a Bath-room. Folding-doors in the background.--Enter the
Author,' our Theogonist in person, 'obsequiously preceded by a French
Valet, in white silk Jacket and cambric Apron.'
"Such are the two Sects which, at this moment, divide the more unsettled
portion of the British People; and agitate that ever-vexed country. To
the eye of the political Seer, their mutual relation, pregnant with
the elements of discord and hostility, is far from consoling. These two
principles of Dandiacal Self-worship or Demon-worship, and Poor-Slavish
or Drudgical Earth-worship, or whatever that same Drudgism may be, do
as yet indeed manifest themselves under distant and nowise considerable
shapes: nevertheless, in their roots and subterranean ramifications,
they extend through the entire structure of Society, and work
unweariedly in the secret depths of English national Existence; striving
to separate and isolate it into two contradictory, uncommunicating
masses.
"In numbers, and even individual strength, the Poor-Slaves or Drudges,
it would seem, are hourly increasing. The Dandiacal, again, is by nature
no proselytizing Sect; but it boasts of great hereditary resources, and
is strong by union; whereas the Drudges, split into parties, have as yet
no rallying-point; or at best only co-operate by means of partial secret
affiliations. If, indeed, there were to arise a _Communion of Drudges_,
as there is already a Communion of Saints, what strangest effects would
follow therefrom! Dandyism as yet affects to look down on Drudgism: but
perhaps the hour of trial, when it will be practically seen which ought
to look down, and which up, is not so distant.
"To me it seems probable that the two Sects will one day part England
between them; each recruiting itself from the intermediate ranks, till
there be none left to enlist on either side. Those Dandiacal Manicheans,
with the host of Dandyizing Christians, will form one body: the Drudges,
gathering round them whosoever is Drudgical, be he Christian or Infidel
Pagan; sweeping up likewise all manner of Utilitarians, Radicals,
refractory Pot-wallopers, and so forth, into their general mass, will
form another. I could liken Dandyism and Drudgism to two bottomless
boiling Whirlpools that had broken out on opposite quarters of the firm
land: as yet they appear only disquieted, foolishly bubbling wells,
which man's art might cover in; yet mark them, their diameter is daily
widening: they are hollow Cones that boil up from the infinite Deep,
over which your firm land is but a thin crust or rind! Thus daily is
the intermediate land crumbling in, daily the empire of the two
Buchan-Bullers extending; till now there is but a foot-plank, a mere
film of Land between them; this too is washed away: and then--we have
the true Hell of Waters, and Noah's Deluge is out-deluged!
"Or better, I might call them two boundless, and indeed unexampled
Electric Machines (turned by the 'Machinery of Society'), with batteries
of opposite quality; Drudgism the Negative, Dandyism the Positive; one
attracts hourly towards it and appropriates all the Positive Electricity
of the nation (namely, the Money thereof); the other is equally busy
with the Negative (that is to say the Hunger), which is equally potent.
Hitherto you see only partial transient sparkles and sputters: but wait
a little, till the entire nation is in an electric state: till your
whole vital Electricity, no longer healthfully Neutral, is cut into two
isolated portions of Positive and Negative (of Money and of Hunger);
and stands there bottled up in two World-Batteries! The stirring of a
child's finger brings the two together; and then--What then? The Earth
is but shivered into impalpable smoke by that Doom's thunder-peal; the
Sun misses one of his Planets in Space, and thenceforth there are no
eclipses of the Moon.--Or better still, I might liken"--
Oh, enough, enough of likenings and similitudes; in excess of which,
truly, it is hard to say whether Teufelsdrockh or ourselves sin the
more.
We have often blamed him for a habit of wire-drawing and over-refining;
from of old we have been familiar with his tendency to Mysticism and
Religiosity, whereby in everything he was still scenting out Religion:
but never perhaps did these amaurosis-suffusions so cloud and distort
his otherwise most piercing vision, as in this of the _Dandiacal Body_!
Or was there something of intended satire; is the Professor and Seer
not quite the blinkard he affects to be? Of an ordinary mortal we should
have decisively answered in the affirmative; but with a Teufelsdrockh
there ever hovers some shade of doubt. In the mean while, if satire were
actually intended, the case is little better. There are not wanting men
who will answer: Does your Professor take us for simpletons? His irony
has overshot itself; we see through it, and perhaps through him.