_Monday, May 7th_.--The Royal House has found an unexpected defender
in Mr. OUTHWAITE. He alone has perceived the hidden danger underlying
the recent proposal of the Lower House of Convocation to restore
KING CHARLES I. to his old place in the Church Calendar. This, he
considers, is a direct encouragement to the persons who seek the
restoration of the Stuart dynasty, and would make Prince RUPPRECHT of
Bavaria heir-apparent to the British Throne. The House was relieved
to hear from Mr. BRACE that there was no immediate danger of this
contingency. Indeed, Prince RUPPRECHT has had so much trouble already
with his prospective subjects that he has probably no desire for their
closer acquaintance.
Sir LEO CHIOZZA MONEY is ordinarily a chirpy little person, quite
able to take care of himself. But he was obviously depressed by his
inability to furnish a plausible reason why two food-ships, having
arrived safely in home ports, should have been sent away undischarged,
with the result that they were torpedoed and their cargoes lost. The
statement that he was "still inquiring" brought no comfort to the
House of (Short) Commons. Why doesn't the SHIPPING CONTROLLER organise
a Flying Squadron of dock-labourers?
[Illustration: _Mr. BONAR LAW_ (_to Mr. MCKENNA_). "AS ONE CHANCELLOR
OF THE EXCHEQUER TO ANOTHER, WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE SEVENTY
MILLION POUNDS OUT?"]
_Tuesday, May 8th_.--The official reticence regarding the names
and exploits of our airmen was the subject of much complaint. Mr.
MACPHERSON declared that it was quite in accordance with the wishes of
the R.F.C. themselves. But Sir H. DALZIEL was still dissatisfied. He
knew of a young lieutenant who had brought down forty enemy machines
and been personally congratulated by the Commander-in-Chief, and yet
his name was not published. It is obvious that praise even from
Sir DOUGLAS HAIG is not the same thing as a paragraph in _Reynolds'
Newspaper_.
[Illustration: BEAU BRUMMEL BILLING GIVES THE "NO-STARCH" MOVEMENT A
GOOD SEND-OFF.]
A request for an increased boot-allowance to the Metropolitan Police
met with a dubious reception from Mr. BRACE, who explained that
it would involve an expenditure of many thousands of pounds. It is
rumoured that the Home Office is considering the recruitment of a
Bantam Force, with a view to reducing the acreage of leather required.
_Wednesday, May 9th_.--If the CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER should
be accused of having taken advantage of his knowledge of the
Budget-proposals to lay in a secret hoard of tobacco he will have no
one to blame but himself. He solemnly assured the House that nothing
has been brought to his notice to show that the trade is making undue
profits. It is clear, therefore, that he has not had occasion to go
into a tobacconist's and ask for his favourite mixture, only to find
that his three-half-penny tax has sent the price up by twopence.
By prohibiting the manufacture of starch the Government has done
something to please Mr. PEMBERTON-BILLING. The hon. Member, who has
always affected the "soft shirts that Sister Susie sews," is flattered
to think that he has set a fashion which must now become universal.
When Captain BATHURST, falling into his humour, assured him that even
BEAU BRUMMEL would accept the position with patriotic resignation,
Mr. BILLING felt that he had found his true vocation as an arbiter of
taste.
In moving a Vote of Credit for the unexampled sum of five hundred
millions, Mr. BONAR LAW apologised for a slight error in his Budget
statement. He had then estimated the expenditure of the country at
five and a half millions a day. Owing to fortuitous circumstances, the
amount for the first thirty-five days of the financial year had turned
out to be seven and a half millions a day. Mr. MCKENNA, conscious
of some similar lapses in calculation during his own time at the
Exchequer, handsomely condoned the mistake. Still one felt that
it strengthened the stentorian plea for economy made by Mr. J.A.R.
MARRIOTT in a maiden speech that would perhaps have been better if
it had not been quite so good. The House is accustomed to a little
hesitation in its novices and does not like to be lectured even by an
Oxford don.
[Illustration: THE SECRET SESSION.
_WINSTON._ "NO REPORT OF SPEECHES. IT HARDLY SEEMS WORTH WHILE."]
The debate produced a number of speeches more suitable for the Secret
Session that was to follow. Our enemies will surely be heartened when
they read the criticisms passed by Mr. GEORGE LAMBERT, an ex-Minister
of the Crown, upon our Naval policy, and by Mr. DILLON on the Salonika
Expedition; and they will not understand that the one is dominated
by the belief that no Board of Admiralty that does not include Lord
FISHER can possibly be efficient; and that the other is congenitally
unable to believe anything good of British administration in Ireland
or elsewhere.
For once Mr. BONAR LAW took the gloves off to Mr. DILLON, and told him
plainly that more attention would be paid to his criticism if he was
himself doing something to help in the prosecution of the War.
_Thursday, May 10th_.--I gather from Mr. SPEAKER'S report of the
Secret Session that nothing sensational was revealed. The PRIME
MINISTER'S "encouraging account of the methods adopted to meet the
submarine attack" was not much more explicit, I infer, than the speech
which Lord CURZON was making simultaneously, _urbi et orbi_, in the
House of Lords, or Mr. ASQUITH would not have observed--again I quote
the official report--that "hardly anything had been said which could
not have been said openly."
That none of the Nationalists should have addressed the House was
perhaps less due to their constitutional reticence than to the
depressing effect of the South Longford election, where their nominee
was defeated by the Sinn Fein candidate--one MCGUINNESS, and evidently
a stout fellow. But it is odd to find that the debate was conducted
without the assistance of Messrs. BILLING, PRINGLE and HOGGE. Their
eloquent silence was a protest, no doubt, against the eviction of the
reporters. Mr. CHURCHILL was probably suffering equal anguish,
but with patriotic self-sacrifice he refused to deprive his
fellow-legislators of the privilege of hearing once again his views on
the conduct of War.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Mrs. Smith_ (_to Mr. Smith, who has just been examined
by Army Medical Board_). "WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY TO YER?"
_Mr. Smith_. "'E SEZ TO ME, 'YOU'VE GOT A STIGMA AN' A CONGENIAL
SQUINT.'"]
* * * * *