“Now,” said Selia, “what about a bit of food?”
These words although not intended to be were overheard by two of the
pupils from the school who had also come out.
“Oh pray have a snack with us” said the plumper one, “I am Gerald
Majpottel and this is my brother Rupert. Our father is a lord. We are
in the satire class, we write a good few poems and move among the very
best.”
“In that case,” replied the hungry Selia, “we shall be delited to come
thanks.”
So they slipped all four into a taxi and very soon arrived at the
Majpottels house in Park Lane, a tall place with green blinds, behind
whose covert pink housemaids flitted and peeped in galore, beneath the
swey of a handsom butler who was proudly figetting with the blind
tassel in the diningroom window.
Chucking one of the pretty housemaids under the chin Gerald Majpottel
and his young brother led Mr. Withersq within and politely told them
where to wash their hands.
The bathroom was on top of the stares and very smart being all lined
through with pink and blue tiles. The rich looking bath was pink
china, almost enough to have a swim in with a few neat texts stampt on
it to wile away the time while soaking, and a pretty mat saying “BATH”
to step out on to after.
“Oh, behold” cried Selia to Mr. Withersq who was doing his nails with
a pin while she wiped up above the wrists. For they had the makings of
good stuff although of humbel extract.
“Look dearest Harold how very chaste, in this little cupboard are the
under attires of our hosts, arent they indeed smart?”
Mr. Withersq fainting with jealousy replied: “Oh Selia, they are
indeed modish, how lucky we struck with them, perhaps they will teach
us a few wrinkles to success.”
For in the airing cupboard by the bath reposed elegant heaps of under
attire. On the right hand side beneath a little card printed “Gerald”
was a great pile of blue ones made some of finest fleece and some of
silk both vests and other things while behind these lurked shirts in
hues of pale and bright tones very tricky indeed. On the left was a
similar heep only with a card saying “Rupert” and all these were pink
the same.
“See,” cried Selia, “they are all marked in sewn letters with their
own names, and a little crown above. Isn’t it pretty? That is because
their father is a lord you know.”
“Ah yes,” sighed he, “how too-too!” for he had caught that saying up
by now. “Selia!” he went on madly, “I too must go as soon as we’ve got
through the food and buy some things like theirs in dozens, and I
shall have Withersquash wrote on in sewn letters being smarter than
Harold. Never never before did I know the shame of only having two of
everything one to wear and one to wash until I peeped into this
splendid wardrobe!”
“Yes, you must indeed,” Selia agreed, “and why not have a neat little
“£sd” done underneath like they have their little crowns done, that
would surely be a pretty touch seeing you are a millionaire!”
“Selia, my own!” cried he, “you have said it! And it shall be done and
you shall have some attire too for your pretty thought!”
She was so glad at these words that she poked about a bit more in the
cupboard and what did she espy but two littler piles of close all as
white as snow with a little card over them saying “Sunday.” That
finished Mr. Withersq and he slid down the bannisters after her, they
were so pleased with things, to the room where the Majpottels were
waiting.
Five of the pink housemaids were dojjing round the table which was
nice and large and full of good food in plenty.
“Pray be seated,” cried Gerald, “and fall too.” He was a nice sleek
young man with black slick hair and talked as though with sweets
tucked in the mouth.
So they all sat and ate beef and batter and peas for a start.
“How nice your room is,” said Selia through the food she had stuffed
in her mouth.
“Is it not?” modestly replied Rupert, then he went on: “Our colours
are good are not they?” at which Selia and Mr. Withersquash both
nodded a good many times over and ate some more.
The room was a grand site indeed, crimson and scarlet and red and
vermilion, very odd, with purpley curtains like pretty ink.
“And what do you think of our fireplace?” went on Rupert, blinking his
green eyes.
It was all made of white stone carved out into dogs and monkeys and
things like that with a great face in the middel, twinkley drop things
of sparkling glass stood at each end of it and a gold clock in the
middel under a shade.
“That is very nice,” politely replied Selia.
“Yes, it cost a good bit,” Rupert said.
He then past them some salmon done up with bits of egg and greenery
and they ate that, and then some ham with hot pickels, and then some
nice boiled pudding with jam on it and some frute tart with blobs of
stiff cream and a few ices after (wrapped up in lace paper they were
too), and some very costly kinds of fruits like aprycots and grapes
which they washed down with every kind of wines and beer for as soon
as Selia and Mr. Withersquash had emtied a glass of wines or beer a
pink housemaid came and filled it up again, because the butler who was
leaning against the wall at the back told them to. But the brothers
Majpottel ate almost nothing which is a very polite thing to do, and
in that case you have it in the pantry or up in your bedroom later on.
When they had eaten all they could they pushed back from the tabel and
had a bit of talk.
“And are you glad now, dear Withersq that you got made head poet?”
asked Rupert in a polite tired voice.
“Oh yes, that I am” said Mr. Withersq, “for I dearly want to get on.”
“And so do I,” lisped Selia “although it is not all plane sailing,
alas.”
“Come, brother,” cried Rupert Majpottel to Gerald with kind
condescencion. “Why not lets help this young pair.”
“Why yes,” replied Gerald, “they must fix up some more brite idears
like the poetry and become famous for that is the way to shine, and
get on, if you are not born to the manner.”
Mr. Withersquash was feeling a bit sick but he cheered up now and
enquired the way to make the smartest baronesses and such to take
notice. “You see, dear sir,” he said, “I would very much like to ask
Miss Selia to become Mrs. W. but I cant very well until I know where I
am, can I? Eh?”
Selia was overcome with blushes, for she had learnt to love her Harold
by now, and very much fancied herself as his wife, though this was the
first he had said of it.
“It is all right for you,” replied Rupert, “seeing you have come in to
a good bit of money and are now the head poet, although not quite the
thing in some ways if I may say so without offence.”
“Not at all,” said Mr. Withersq. “What you mean is that Selia must
have her bit of success too, do you?”
“Well, yes,” said the brothers, “it is a hard world for the ladys if
they are not quite the thing, and you see when a lady is a wife, she
must be up to all the ways of the world else she looks a bit silly
doesn’t she, and people dont come to see her you know, which is rather
a bore.”
“Give us a few handy tips,” said Selia for she was not so stuck up but
what she was willing to try and go one better.
“Well to begin with you must get a few clothes, such as fur coats and
some nice evening togs and some long narrow shoes,” said Rupert rather
thoughtfully. “If you go to a good shop the ladys there will tell you
what you ought to have.”
“Why yes” said she gleefully, “Harold you shall buy me all those and
some good hats and a gold-stalked umberella.”
“Certenly, certenly” replied the good Mr. Withersq.
“Then you might try talking in that boomy voice we use” Gerald took up
the tale, “and try and look a bit fed up with things, you know, but
that isnt really all, for you simply must be a bit of a toff at
something or other and then the baronesses will notice and remember
who you are which is the great idear.”
“With pleasure” replied Selia with a hiccup from the stout she had
had, “but what had I better do? I am only a simple girl, and know very
little.”
“What do you say to that?” Mr. Withersq asked the brothers with a
scratch at his nose, “I hardly know what to suggest myself.”
“Do you sing?” Gerald asked.
“No” said Selia dully.
“Cant you do anything besides play the piano?” asked Mr. Withersq.
“Oh! The piano! Dont ever let anyone know you can play that!” warned
Gerald. “That is a very low thing to do. The banjo or the cello if you
like but not the rotten piano!”
“Let us think,” said Mr. Withersq. “What would be the best thing for
her to do?”
“Well now, let us think then” agreed the brothers Majpottel tipping
back their chairs. “There is politics but it would be too long before
she got in the cabinet and perhaps also she would never get in at all.
She cant very well go in for science, seeing she doesn’t know any, she
cant very well become a painter nor even a dressmaker because she dont
know how to dress herself. I dont really know what she _can_ do.”
“Oh dear, oh dear!” wailed the poor girl and dropped into
Mr. Withersquashes bosom for comfort, all the pride had gone out of
her now.
“It’s a pity she isnt a sporty girl,” muttered Rupert half to himself
for he had taken a liking to his humbel friends and could not bear to
see her weep.
“What did you say?” shreiked Selia darting like an asp from
Mr. Withersquashes embrace. “A sporty girl? Me? Who says I’m not? Aint
I got the challenge cup for the Hoxton tennis club three years
running? Aint I the best roller skatist they ever seen at Holland
Park? Say I’m not sporty?”
“Tennis?” yelled Gerald and Rupert together, till one of the vanished
housemaids put her head round the door thinking she was wanted.
“Yes” yelled back Selia, “and why not?”
“Hurrah! Hurrah!” the two lordly brothers cried. “That’s a good girl!
You’ll be the success of the season if your pashent” and then chatter
chatter they went making plans for Selia’s springing her talents on
the smart world, which would make it possible for Mr. Withersq to wed
her without her getting the cold shoulder as a matron.
It was settled at last that the brothers should arrange for her first
appearance.
“Very well” said Selia, “thank you. You may rely on me to do my best.
Come on Harold we must go to the shops.”
“Goodbye dear friends” said Gerald rising very elegantly to lead them
to the door “and thank you for coming. Mind and brush up your sports
now Miss Selia and get some suitable raiment for the great day and we
will shew them the stuff you are made of.”
“Very good” said Selia at the door, “and you see if we dont make a
splash in socierty with a vengeance.” With these words she and
Mr. Withersq went off and that is all that happened there.