"Gabriel," he said to me one morning, "dost thou not feel like smashing
something?"
"Augustine, dost thou not feel like smashing something?" I responded.
It will be seen that we were "thee-ing" and "thou-ing" each other after
three days' acquaintance.
"Not very much," he said, "suppose the first ball strikes us dead!"
"We shall die for our country, for Saragossa; and although posterity
will not remember us, it is always an honor to fall on the field of
battle for a cause like this."
"You are right," he answered sadly; "but it is a pity to die. We are
young. Who knows for what we are destined in life?"
"Life is a trifle, and its importance is not worth thinking of."
"That is for the aged to say, but not us who are just beginning to
live. Frankly, I do not wish to die in this terrible circle which the
French have drawn about us. In the other siege, however, all the
students of the Seminary took arms, and I confess that I was more
valiant then than now. A peculiar zeal filled my blood, and I threw
myself into places of greatest danger without fear of death. To-day
does not find me the same. I am timid and afraid, and when a gun goes
off, it makes me tremble."
"That is natural. Fear does not exist when one does not realize the
danger. As far as that is concerned, they say the most valiant soldiers
are the raw recruits."
"There is nothing in that. Indeed, Gabriel, I confess that the mere
question of dying does not strike me as the greatest evil. But if I
die, I am going to entrust you with a commission which I hope you will
fulfil carefully like a good friend. Listen well to what I tell you.
You see that tower that leans this way, as if to see what is passing
here, or hear what we are saying?"
"The Torre Nueva? I see it. What charge are you going to give me for
that lady?"
Day was breaking, and between the irregular-tiled roofs of the city,
between the spires and minarets, the balconies and the cupolas of the
churches, the Torre Nueva, old and unfinished, stood out distinctly.
"Listen well!" said Augustine. "If I am killed with the first shot on
this day which is now dawning, when the battle is ended, and they break
ranks, you must go there."
"To the Torre Nueva? Behold me! I arrive. I enter!"
"No, man, not enter. Listen, I will tell you. You arrive at the Plaza
de San Felipe where the tower is. Look yonder! Do you see there near
the great pile there is another tower, a little belfry? It seems like
an acolyte before his lord the canon, which is the great tower."
"Yes, now I see the altar-boy. And if I am not mistaken, it is the
belfry of San Felipe. And the damned thing is ringing this minute!"
"For mass, it is ringing for mass," said Augustine, with great emotion.
"Do you not hear the cracked bell?"
"Very plainly. Let us know what I have to say to this Mr. Altar-boy who
is ringing the cracked bell."
"No, no, it is nothing about him. You arrive at the Plaza of San
Felipe. If you look at the belfry, you will see it is on a corner, and
from this corner runs a narrow street. You enter there, and at the left
you will find at a little distance another street, narrow and retired,
called Anton Trillo. You follow this until you reach the back of the
church. There you will see a house. You stop there--"
"And then I come back again?"
"No; close to the house there is a garden, with a little gateway
painted the color of chocolate. You stop there."
"There I stop, and there I am!"
"No, old man. You will see--"
"You're whiter than your shirt, my Augustine. What do all these towers
and stoppages signify?"
"They mean," continued my friend, with increasing embarrassment, "that
in a little while you will be there. I desire you to go by night. All
right, you arrive there. You stop. You wait a little, then you pass to
the opposite sidewalk. You stretch your neck, and you will see a window
over the wall of a garden. You pick up a pebble and throw it against
the panes of glass lightly, to do little damage."
"And in a second she will come!"
"No; have patience. How do you know whether she will come or not come?"
"Well, let us suppose that she comes."
"Before I tell you another thing, you must understand that it is there
the goodman Candiola lives. Do you know who Candiola is? Well, he is a
citizen of Saragossa, a man who, as they say, has in his house a cellar
full of money. He is avaricious and a usurer, and when he lends he guts
his customers. He knows more about debtors, laws, and foreclosures than
the whole court and council of Castile. Whoever goes to law with him is
lost."
"From all this, the house with a gate painted chocolate color should be
a magnificent palace."
"Nothing of the sort. You will see a wretched-looking house that seems
about to fall down. I tell you that that goodman Candiola is a miser.
He does not waste a real that he can help. And if you should see him
about here you would give him alms. I will tell you another thing;
he is never seen in Saragossa, and they call him goodman Candiola in
mockery and contempt. His name is Don Jeronimo de Candiola; he is a
native of Mallorca, if I am not mistaken."
"And this Candiola has a daughter?"
"Wait, man, how impatient you are! How do you know whether or not he
has a daughter?" he answered, hiding his agitation by these evasions.
"Well, as I was just going to tell you, Candiola is detested in the
city for his great avarice and wicked heart. Many poor men has he put
in prison after ruining them. Worse still, during the other siege he
did not give a farthing for the war, nor take up arms, nor receive the
wounded into his house, nor could they wring a peseta from him; and,
as he said one day it was all one to him whether he gave to John or to
Peter, he was on the point of being arrested."
"Well, he is a pretty piece, this man of the house of the garden of the
chocolate-colored gate! And what if when the pebble strikes the window,
goodman Candiola comes out with a cudgel and gives me a good beating
for flirting with his daughter?"
"Don't be an idiot! Hush! You must know that as soon as it gets dark,
Candiola shuts himself in an underground room, and there he stays
counting his money until after midnight. Bah! He is well occupied now.
The neighbors say they hear a muffled sound as if bags of coins were
being tumbled out."
"Very well. I arrive there. I throw the stone. She comes, and I tell
her--"
"You tell her that I am dead. No, don't be cruel; give her this amulet.
No, tell her--no, it will be better to tell her nothing."
"Then I will give her the amulet?"
"By no means. Do not take the amulet to her."
"Now, now I understand. As soon as she comes I am to say good-night and
march myself away singing, 'The Virgin del Pilar says--'"
"No, it is enough that she learns of my death. You must do as I tell
you."
"But if you don't tell me anything."
"How hasty you are! Wait. Perhaps they'll not kill me to-day."
"True. And what a bother about nothing!"
"There is one thing which I have left out, Gabriel, and I shall tell it
to you frankly. I have had many, very many great desires to confide to
you this secret which weighs upon my breast. To whom could I tell it
but to you, my friend? If I did not tell you, my heart would break like
a pomegranate. I have been greatly afraid of telling it at night in my
dreams. Because of this fear I cannot sleep. If my father, my mother,
my brother, suspected it, they would kill me."
"And the fathers at the Seminary?"
"Don't name the fathers. You shall see. I will tell you what has
befallen me. Do you know Father Rincon? Well, Father Rincon loves me
very much, and every evening he used to make me come out for a walk
by the river or towards Torrero or the Juslibol road. We would talk
of theology and literature. Rincon is so enthusiastic about the great
poet Horace that he used to say, 'It is a pity that that man wasn't a
Christian so that he could be canonized.' He always carries with him
a little Elzevir, which he loves more than the apple of his eye. When
we were tired walking, he would sit down and read, and between the two
of us we would make whatever comments occurred to us. Well, now I will
tell you that Father Rincon was a kinsman of Doña Maria Rincon, the
deceased wife of Candiola, who has a little property in the Monzalbarba
road, with a wretched little country house, more like a hut than a
house, but embowered in leafy trees, and with delightful views of the
Ebro. One afternoon, after we had been reading the _Quis multa gracilis
te puer in rosa_, my teacher desired to visit his relative. We went
there; we entered the garden, and Candiola was not there; but his
daughter came to meet us, and Rincon said to her, 'Mariquilla, get some
peaches for this young man, and get me a glass of you know what.'"
"And is Mariquilla nice?"
"Don't ask that. What if she is nice? You shall see. Father Rincon
stroked his beard, and turning towards me said, 'Augustine, confess
that in your lifetime you have never seen a more perfect face than
this one. Look at those eyes of fire, that angel's mouth, and that bit
of heaven for a brow.' I was trembling, and Mariquilla laughed, her
face all rosy red. Then Rincon continued, saying, 'To you, who are
a future father of the church, an example, a young pattern, without
other passion than that for books, this divinity may show herself.
Jove! admire here the admirable work of the Supreme Creator. Observe
the expression of that face, the sweetness of those glances, the
grace of that smile, the freshness, the delicacy of that complexion,
the fineness of that skin, and confess that if heaven is beautiful,
flowers, mountains, light, all the creations of God are nothing beside
woman, the most perfect and finished work of the immortal hand.'
Thus spoke my teacher, and I, mute and astonished, did not cease to
contemplate that master work which was certainly better than the
Æneid. I cannot tell you what I felt. Imagine the Ebro, that great
river, which descends from its springs to give itself to the sea, all
at once changing its channel and trying to run upward, returning to
the Asturias. The same thing took place in my spirit. I myself was
astonished that all my ideas had been changed from their wonted course
and turned backward, cutting I know not what new channels. I assure you
I was astonished, and I am yet. Looking at her without satisfying the
longing of my soul or of my eyes, I said to myself, 'I love her in a
wonderful way! How is it that until now I have never fallen in love?' I
had never seen Mariquilla until that moment."
"And the peaches?"
"Mariquilla was as much disturbed before me as I before her. Father
Rincon went to talk with the gardener about the encroachments that
the French had made upon the property (that was soon after the first
of September, a month after the raising of the first siege), and
Mariquilla and I remained alone. Alone! My first impulse was to cut and
run; and she, as she has told me, also felt the same. Neither she nor
I ran. We stayed there. All at once I felt an extraordinary movement
of my intellect. Breaking the silence, I began to talk with her. We
talked about all sorts of indifferent things at first, but to me came
thoughts beyond my usual understanding, surpassing the ordinary, and
all, all, all, I uttered. Mariquilla answered me little, but her eyes
were only more eloquent than when I was talking to her. At last Father
Rincon called, and we marched away. I took leave of her, and in a low
voice said that we would soon meet again. We returned to Saragossa.
Yes, the street, the trees, the Ebro, the cupola of the Pilar, the
belfries of Saragossa, the passers-by, the houses, the walls of the
garden, the pavements, the sound of the wind, the dogs of the street,
all seemed different to me, all, heaven and earth had been changed.
My good teacher began to read again in Horace, and I said that Horace
wasn't worth anything. He wished me to dine with him, and threatened me
with the loss of his friendship. I praised Virgil with enthusiasm, and
repeated the celebrated lines--
"'_Est mollis flamma medullas
interea et tacitum vivit sub pectore vulnus._'"
"This was about the first of September," said I, "and since then?"
"From that day a new life began for me. It commenced with a burning
disquiet that robbed me of sleep, making distasteful to me all that was
not Mariquilla. My own father's house was hateful to me; and wandering
about the environs of Saragossa without any companion, I sought peace
for my spirit in solitude. I hated the college, all books and theology,
and when October came, and they wished me to bind myself to live shut
up in the holy house, I feigned illness in order to remain in my own.
Thanks to the war that has made us all soldiers, I have been able to
live free, to go at all hours, day and night, and see and talk with
her frequently. I go to her house, make the signal agreed upon; she
descends, opens her grated window; we talk long hours. People pass by,
but I am muffled in my cloak even up to the eyes. With this and the
darkness of night, no one recognizes me. As far as that is concerned,
the boys in the street ask one another, 'Who is this admirer of the
Candiola?' The other night, fearing discovery, we stopped our talks
at the grating. Mariquilla came down, opened the garden gate, and I
entered. No one could discover us, because Don Jeronimo, believing
her to be in bed, retired to his room to count his money, and the old
servant, the only one in the house, took us under her wing. Alone in
the garden we sat down upon some stone steps and watched the brightness
of the moonlight through the boughs of a great black poplar. In that
majestic silence our souls contemplated the divine, and we experienced
a deep sentiment, beyond words to express. Our felicity is so great
that at times it is a living torment. If there are moments in which one
might desire to be a hundred beings, there are also moments in which
one might desire not to exist. We pass long hours there. The night
before last we were there until daybreak. My teacher believed me to be
with the guards, so I was not obliged to hasten. When morning first
began to dawn, we separated. Over the top of the wall of the garden
appeared the roofs of the neighboring houses and the top of the Torre
Nueva. Pointing it out to me, Mariquilla said, 'When that tower stands
straight, then only shall I cease to love you.'"
Augustine said no more. A cannon-shot sounded from the side of Mount
Torrero, and we both turned in that direction.