Recognizing the fact that moral considerations fail to reach many
people, the following points should be emphasized in trying to show
young men practical reasons why they should avoid pre-marital sexual
relations.
[Sidenote: Continence and health.]
(1) Young men ought to know that many eminent physicians and
physiologists agree that it has not been proved that continence injures
the health of men who make an effort to avoid sexual temptations.
Physicians of the highest standing never advise extra-marital or
immoral relations, for they are far more likely to injure health than
to improve it, and they surely injure character and reputation. On
this question of continence young men should read such pamphlets as
"Sexual Necessity" by Howell and Keyes; "The Young Man's Problem" and
"Health and Hygiene of Sex" by Morrow; "The Physician's Answer" and
"The Rational Sex Life for Men" by Exner.[17] Also, see pp. 183-190 in
Geddes and Thomson's "Sex."
Dr. Exner's "Physician's Answer" is based on the following declaration
which was signed by about three hundred of the foremost physicians of
America:
"In view of the individual and social dangers which spring from
the widespread belief that continence may be detrimental to
health, and of the fact that municipal toleration of prostitution
is sometimes defended on the ground that sexual indulgence is
necessary, we, the undersigned, members of the medical profession,
testify to our belief that continence has not been shown to be
detrimental to health or virility; that there is no evidence of
its being inconsistent with the highest physical, mental, and
moral efficiency; and that it offers the only sure reliance for
sexual health outside of marriage."
[Sidenote: Psychical results of incontinence.]
(2) It ought to be significant to young men that many men who are now
in the thirties or forties look back upon their youthful errors with
profound regret. Many such men testify that unforgettable immoral
experiences keep them from reaching the heights of love with their
wives. One of my friends, a well-known physician, recently met in his
office within two or three months seven men of high standing who are
now happily married, but who feel that conjugal life is short of its
full aesthetic possibilities because of the ever-present remembrance of
early sexual mistakes.
[Sidenote: Physical results.]
(3) While the above refers to the psychical effect of youthful errors,
young men should learn that there is also a physical side to the same
problem. Eminent physicians assert that many men have completely and
permanently destroyed their sexual functions by extensive dissipations,
either by masturbation or by natural relations; and that very many more
have injured themselves so that perfection of the physical basis of
love and marriage is impossible.
[Sidenote: Possible diseases.]
(4) The probability of venereal infection by pre-marital relations and
the danger of transmission to innocent wives and children should be
presented to all young men as a strong ethical appeal for continence
(see Sec. 7).
[Sidenote: Purity for purity.]
(5) The "fair play" or "square deal" appeal to young men should be
based on the fact that most for young men who are unchaste demand
purity of the girls they claim as sisters, friends, or sweethearts; and
yet they help drag down other women. An honorable man should be willing
to play fairly and give purity for purity.
[Sidenote: Responsibility.]
(6) The grave responsibility of young men whose unchastity is connected
with illegitimacy or with the organized social evil should be made a
strong point in appeals for pre-marital abstinence.
[Sidenote: Sexuality and affection.]
(7) Young men should be impressed with the idea that their sexual
functions should be held sacred to affection; in other words, that
sexual union is moral only as love interchange. In so far as young men
may be led to this interpretation of the relation of sexuality to the
best conceptions of life, there will be no danger of prostitution and
there will be a guarantee of marriages that give completeness to
affection. The men who are safeguarded against unchastity are those who
have learned to think of love and marriage and sexual functioning as
interdependent and coincident elements in the great drama of life and
who feel the impossibility of their personal interest in marriage
without love or in sexual union except as expression of deep affection.
Such men are by no means as rare as the sensational reports of the
social evil lead many people to believe.
[Sidenote: Some men beyond appeal.]
I realize that all these seven reasons for continence will fail with
that large group of young men who have persuaded themselves that they
will never marry and thus they shake off all responsibility such as
appeals to the man who looks forward to love that culminates in
marriage. No one has yet suggested any line of appeal to the men who
are physically or psychically or morally so abnormal that they have no
interest in the possibility of marriage; but fortunately such
individuals constitute an insignificant minority.