He has not yet got my letter: and while I was contriving here how to
send my officious gaoleress from me, that I might have time for the
intended interview, and had hit upon an expedient, which I believe would
have done, came my aunt, and furnished me with a much better. She saw my
little table covered, preparative to my solitary dinner; and hoped,
she told me, that this would be the last day that my friends would be
deprived of my company at table.
You may believe, my dear, that the thoughts of meeting Mr. Lovelace,
for fear of being discovered, together with the contents of my cousin
Dolly's letter, gave me great and visible emotions. She took notice of
them--Why these sighs, why these heavings here? said she, patting my
neck--O my dear Niece, who would have thought so much natural sweetness
could be so very unpersuadable?
I could not answer her, and she proceeded--I am come, I doubt, upon a
very unwelcome errand. Some things have been told us yesterday, which
came from the mouth of one of the most desperate and insolent men in the
world, convince your father, and all of us, that you still find means
to write out of the house. Mr. Lovelace knows every thing that is done
here; and that as soon as done; and great mischief is apprehended from
him, which you are as much concerned as any body to prevent. Your mother
has also some apprehensions concerning yourself, which yet she hopes are
groundless; but, however, cannot be easy, if she would, unless (while
you remain here in the garden, or in this summer-house) you give her
the opportunity once more of looking into your closet, your cabinet and
drawers. It will be the better taken, if you give me cheerfully your
keys. I hope, my dear, you won't dispute it. Your desire of dining in
this place was the more readily complied with for the sake of such an
opportunity.
I thought myself very lucky to be so well prepared by my cousin Dolly's
means for this search: but yet I artfully made some scruples, and not a
few complaints of this treatment: after which, I not only gave her the
keys of all, but even officiously emptied my pockets before her, and
invited her to put her fingers in my stays, that she might be sure I had
no papers there.
This highly obliged her; and she said, she would represent my cheerful
compliance as it deserved, let my brother and sister say what they
would. My mother in particular, she was sure, would rejoice at the
opportunity given her to obviate, as she doubted not would be the case,
some suspicions that were raised against me.
She then hinted, That there were methods taken to come at all Mr.
Lovelace's secrets, and even, from his careless communicativeness, at
some secret of mine; it being, she said, his custom, boastingly to prate
to his very servants of his intentions, in particular cases. She added,
that deep as he was thought to be, my brother was as deep as he, and
fairly too hard for him at his own weapons--as one day it would be
found.
I knew not, I said, the meaning of these dark hints. I thought the
cunning she hinted at, on both sides, called rather for contempt than
applause. I myself might have been put upon artifices which my heart
disdained to practise, had I given way to the resentment, which, I was
bold to say, was much more justifiable than the actions that occasioned
it: that it was evident to me, from what she had said, that their
present suspicions of me were partly owing to this supposed superior
cunning of my brother, and partly to the consciousness that the usage I
met with might naturally produce a reason for such suspicions: that it
was very unhappy for me to be made the butt of my brother's wit: that it
would have been more to his praise to have aimed at shewing a kind heart
than a cunning head: that, nevertheless, I wished he knew himself as
well as I imagined I knew him; and he would then have less conceit of
his abilities: which abilities would, in my opinion, be less thought of,
if his power to do ill offices were not much greater than they.
I was vexed. I could not help making this reflection. The dupe the
other, too probably, makes of him, through his own spy, deserved it. But
I so little approve of this low art in either, that were I but tolerably
used, the vileness of that man, that Joseph Leman, should be inquired
into.
She was sorry, she said, to find that I thought so disparagingly of my
brother. He was a young man both of learning and parts.
Learning enough, I said, to make him vain of it among us women: but not
of parts sufficient to make his learning valuable either to himself or
to any body else.
She wished, indeed, that he had more good nature: but she feared that
I had too great an opinion of somebody else, to think so well of my
brother as a sister ought: since, between the two, there was a sort of
rivalry, as to abilities, that made them hate one another.
Rivalry! Madam, said I.--If that be the case, or whether it be or not,
I wish they both understood, better than either of them seem to do,
what it becomes gentlemen, and men of liberal education, to be, and to
do.--Neither of them, then, would glory in what they ought to be ashamed
of.
But waving this subject, it was not impossible, I said, that they might
find a little of my writing, and a pen or two, and a little ink, [hated
art!--or rather, hateful the necessity for it!] as I was not permitted
to go up to put them out of the way: but if they did, I must be
contented. And I assured her, that, take what time they pleased, I would
not go in to disturb them, but would be either in or near the garden,
in this summer-house, or in the cedar one, or about my poultry-yard, or
near the great cascade, till I was ordered to return to my prison. With
like cunning I said, I supposed the unkind search would not be made
till the servants had dined; because I doubted not that the pert Betty
Barnes, who knew all the corners of my apartment and closet, would be
employed in it.
She hoped, she said, that nothing could be found that would give a
handle against me: for, she would assure me, the motives to the search,
on my mother's part especially, were, that she hoped to find reason
rather to acquit than to blame me; and that my father might be induced
to see my to-morrow night, or Wednesday morning, with temper: with
tenderness, I should rather say, said she; for he is resolved to do so,
if no new offence be given.