MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE [THE PRECEDING LETTER NOT RECEIVED.]
SATURDAY AFTERNOON.
Already have I an ecstatic answer, as I may call it, to my letter.
'He promises compliance with my will in every article: approves of all
I propose; particularly of the private lodging: and thinks it a happy
expedient to obviate the censures of the busy and the unreflecting: and
yet he hopes, that the putting myself into the protection of either of
his aunts, (treated as I am treated,) would be far from being looked
upon by any body in a disreputable light. But every thing I enjoin
or resolve upon must, he says, be right, not only with respect to my
present but future reputation; with regard to which, he hopes so to
behave himself, as to be allowed to be, next to myself, more properly
solicitous than any body. He will only assure me, that his whole family
are extremely desirous to take advantage of the persecutions I labour
under to make their court, and endear themselves to me, by their best
and most cheerful services: happy if they can in any measure contribute
to my present freedom and future happiness.
'He will this afternoon, he says, write to Lord M. and to Lady Betty and
Lady Sarah, that he is now within view of being the happiest man in the
world, if it be not his own fault; since the only woman upon earth that
can make him so will be soon out of danger of being another man's; and
cannot possibly prescribe any terms to him that he shall not think it
his duty to comply with.
'He flatters himself now (my last letter confirming my resolution) that
he can be in no apprehension of my changing my mind, unless my friends
change their manner of acting by me; which he is too sure they will
not.* And now will all his relations, who take such a kind and generous
share in his interests, glory and pride themselves in the prospects he
has before him.'
* Well might he be so sure, when he had the art to play them
off, by his corrupted agent, and to make them all join to
promote his views unknown to themselves; as is shewn in some
of his preceding letters.
Thus does he hold me to it.
'As to fortune, he begs me not to be solicitous on that score: that his
own estate is sufficient for us both; not a nominal, but a real, two
thousand pounds per annum, equivalent to some estates reputed a third
more: that it never was encumbered; that he is clear of the world, both
as to book and bond debts; thanks, perhaps, to his pride, more than to
his virtue: that Lord M. moreover resolves to settle upon him a thousand
pounds per annum on his nuptials. And to this, he will have it, his
lordship is instigated more by motives of justice than of generosity; as
he must consider it was but an equivalent for an estate which he had
got possession of, to which his (Mr. Lovelace's) mother had better
pretensions. That his lordship also proposed to give him up either
his seat in Hertfordshire, or that in Lancashire, at his own or at his
wife's option, especially if I am the person. All which it will be in my
power to see done, and proper settlements drawn, before I enter into any
farther engagements with him; if I will have it so.'
He says, 'That I need not be under any solicitude as to apparel: all
immediate occasions of that sort will be most cheerfully supplied by the
ladies of his family: as my others shall, with the greatest pride and
pleasure (if I allow him that honour) by himself.
'He assures me, that I shall govern him as I please, with regard to any
thing in his power towards effecting a reconciliation with my friends:'
a point he knows my heart is set upon.
'He is afraid, that the time will hardly allow of his procuring Miss
Charlotte Montague's attendance upon me, at St. Alban's, as he had
proposed she should; because, he understands, she keeps her chamber with
a violent cold and sore throat. But both she and her sister, the first
moment she is able to go abroad, shall visit me at my private lodgings;
and introduce me to Lady Sarah and Lady Betty, or those ladies to me, as
I shall choose; and accompany me to town, if I please; and stay as long
in it with me as I shall think fit to stay there.
'Lord M. will also, at my own time, and in my own manner, (that is to
say, either publicly or privately,) make me a visit. And, for his own
part, when he has seen me in safety, either in their protection, or in
the privacy I prefer, he will leave me, and not attempt to visit me but
by my own permission.
'He had thought once, he says, on hearing of his cousin Charlotte's
indisposition, to have engaged his cousin Patty's attendance upon me,
either in or about the neighbouring village, or at St. Alban's: but, he
says, she is a low-spirited, timorous girl, and would but the more have
perplexed us.'
So, my dear, the enterprise requires courage and high spirits, you
see!--And indeed it does!--What am I about to do!
He himself, it is plain, thinks it necessary that I should be
accompanied with one of my own sex.--He might, at least, have proposed
the woman of one of the ladies of his family.--Lord bless me!--What am I
about to do!--
*****
After all, as far as I have gone, I know not but I may still recede:
and, if I do, a mortal quarrel I suppose will ensue.--And what if it
does?--Could there be any way to escape this Solmes, a breach with
Lovelace might make way for the single life to take place, which I
so much prefer: and then I would defy the sex. For I see nothing but
trouble and vexation that they bring upon ours: and when once entered,
one is obliged to go on with them, treading, with tender feet, upon
thorns, and sharper thorns, to the end of a painful journey.
What to do I know not. The more I think, the more I am embarrassed!--And
the stronger will be my doubts as the appointed time draws near.
But I will go down, and take a little turn in the garden; and deposit
this, and his letters all but the two last, which I will enclose in my
next, if I have opportunity to write another.
Mean time, my dear friend----But what can I desire you to pray
for?--Adieu, then!--Let me only say--Adieu--!