The man, my dear, has got the letter!--What a strange diligence! I wish
he mean me well, that he takes so much pains!--Yet, to be ingenuous, I
must own, that I should be displeased if he took less--I wish, however,
he had been an hundred miles off!--What an advantage have I given him
over me!
Now the letter is out of my power, I have more uneasiness and regret
than I had before. For, till now, I had a doubt, whether it should or
should not go: and now I think it ought not to have gone. And yet is
there any other way than to do as I have done, if I would avoid Solmes?
But what a giddy creature shall I be thought, if I pursue the course to
which this letter must lead me?
My dearest friend, tell me, have I done wrong?--Yet do not say I have,
if you think it; for should all the world besides condemn me, I shall
have some comfort, if you do not. The first time I ever besought you to
flatter me. That, of itself, is an indication that I have done wrong,
and am afraid of hearing the truth--O tell me (but yet do not tell me)
if I have done wrong!
*****